Whelp, all caught up now! And I'm sure I'll be giving Shandril the side eye this chapter too, since last time she MURDERED SOME INNOCENT ANIMALS instead of trying to be, iunno, NOT a spellfire-fuelled death machine!
(I'm probably gonna hang on this a lot because animals being hurt for no reason makes me REALLY FUCKING ANGRY!)
Armored in spellfire, Shandril Shessair stood up and roared her anger into the night, flinging her arms wide. Spellfire blasted out of her in all directions, low over the heads of her loved ones, lancing into the Zhentilar warriors. The white flash of its striking was blinding. Trees cracked and fell, blazing. Men screamed briefly amid the roaring. Crossbow bolts flared into flying cinders. Heat-shattered armor fell from blackened skeletons, which toppled slowly after them to the smoking ground.
What was that about never wanting to become a murderer, Shandril? Because I promise you, you just did. Even taking the fact that you were being attacked into account, you've just set a chunk of the forest on fire, which WILL spread like a motherfucker if what I remember about Cormyr is right, and since you were trying (badly) to be stealthy it's going to have plenty of time to grow and spread before people notice, which means people ARE going to die fighting it. Do you know why I know people will die, Shandril? Because I live in Australia, where we lose professionally trained and equipped firemen to bushfires every single year! You've just killed people and probably led to some foresty/forest-adjacent towns being destroyed and more people losing everything, and I don't give a damn that Greenwood will totally let you off for your reckless acts of destruction because I WON'T.
Me? Extremely sensitive about people setting fires? DAMN FUCKING RIGHT I AM.
it seemed Shandril was not fated to burn down Hullack Forest this night,
Horseshit.
“It won’t,” said the big man, voice approaching a sob. “I’ve tried … it feels stuck to my skin. Gods!”
(How I feel right now, as embodied by the Reynoldschu.)
climbed the arm that swept around to strike him, clambering up it to drive the short blade hilt-deep through the helm’s eyeslit and the unseen and unseeing orb beneath. Dark, hot blood splashed him as he leapt free, to the sound of startled shouts from the swordmaster and warriors, who saw the warcaptain topple dead with no apparent foe.
And these are supposed to be our heroes why, exactly? I'm starting to think you'd have a really stonking horror novel if you wrote this from the point of view of a Zhent grunt who manages to somehow keep surviving as everyone around them gets burnt to death...
MG: Oh, I know who this is. It’s not Elminster, but it is Greenwood’s other Stu. He’s been alluded to already, but we’ll meet him properly soon. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
(Oh god no.)
He also briefly covers the involvement of Elminster and the Knights and mentions that the Red Wizards of Thay have had news of Shandril but so far haven’t acted on it, at least not overtly.
Of course they haven't! The Red Wizards, when written well, are the most cunning and manipulative bastards in all the Realms. I do not expect Greenwood to write them well.
Huh; I’m no expert on magic, but I’m pretty sure Shandril literally eats magic for breakfast, the stronger the better, so… maybe try something else for a change?
Four Words: Ranger. Longbow. Sleeping Poison. There, solved it for you.
He also says that the Zhentilar have been dispatched to hunt her down and test her strength, though apparently, they’ve been ordered to stay away from the main roads and settlements – guess Thundarlun doesn’t count for that? – so Cormyr and Sembia don’t notice and get involved.
A bit late for that, genius, the King of Cormyr is very well aware of what's going on! So much for the vaunted subtlety of the fucking Zhentarim as long as Greenwood has the pen.
So, basically, Greenwood gave his heroine a power that one of the setting’s big bads thinks would be more-or-less an “I win” button in his hands (if, again, her destruction of Shargrailar hadn’t given that away already). Just something to think about.
And from what we've seen so far I'm starting to think Manshoon would probably be a safer owner of said power, because his 'heroine' so far seems to be quite happy to unleash uncontrolled destruction without any thought for things like 'targetting', 'consequences' or 'innocent bystanders'.
The gem you hold contains the soul of Iliph Thraun; through it you can control the lich lord absolutely, even to drive it to its own clear destruction.
*channeling Gordon Ramsay* FINALLY, some good fucking villainy! I mean it won't last but I'll take what I can get.
The point being… don’t expect his implied competence in this chapter to last, and he’s totally going to end up breaking his stated intentions here and facing Shandril himself before this book is done.
no subject
(I'm probably gonna hang on this a lot because animals being hurt for no reason makes me REALLY FUCKING ANGRY!)
What was that about never wanting to become a murderer, Shandril? Because I promise you, you just did. Even taking the fact that you were being attacked into account, you've just set a chunk of the forest on fire, which WILL spread like a motherfucker if what I remember about Cormyr is right, and since you were trying (badly) to be stealthy it's going to have plenty of time to grow and spread before people notice, which means people ARE going to die fighting it. Do you know why I know people will die, Shandril? Because I live in Australia, where we lose professionally trained and equipped firemen to bushfires every single year! You've just killed people and probably led to some foresty/forest-adjacent towns being destroyed and more people losing everything, and I don't give a damn that Greenwood will totally let you off for your reckless acts of destruction because I WON'T.
Me? Extremely sensitive about people setting fires? DAMN FUCKING RIGHT I AM.
Horseshit.
(How I feel right now, as embodied by the Reynoldschu.)
And these are supposed to be our heroes why, exactly? I'm starting to think you'd have a really stonking horror novel if you wrote this from the point of view of a Zhent grunt who manages to somehow keep surviving as everyone around them gets burnt to death...
(Oh god no.)
Of course they haven't! The Red Wizards, when written well, are the most cunning and manipulative bastards in all the Realms. I do not expect Greenwood to write them well.
Four Words: Ranger. Longbow. Sleeping Poison. There, solved it for you.
A bit late for that, genius, the King of Cormyr is very well aware of what's going on! So much for the vaunted subtlety of the fucking Zhentarim as long as Greenwood has the pen.
And from what we've seen so far I'm starting to think Manshoon would probably be a safer owner of said power, because his 'heroine' so far seems to be quite happy to unleash uncontrolled destruction without any thought for things like 'targetting', 'consequences' or 'innocent bystanders'.
*channeling Gordon Ramsay* FINALLY, some good fucking villainy! I mean it won't last but I'll take what I can get.
(The mental level Greenwood villains operate at.)