masterghandalf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
masterghandalf) wrote2024-04-08 07:56 am
masterghandalf) wrote2024-04-08 07:56 am
The Gates of Dawn: Chapter Fifty-Two and Chapter Fifty-Three
This is a crosspost from Das_Sporking2. Previous entries of this spork may be found here.
Warning: This post contains depictions and/or discussion of death, violence, rape, torture and frostbite.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Gates of Dawn! Last time, Tristan gathered the Minions for battle, while the wizards decided to cut and run to Shadowood. Oh, and Shailiha told her brother to “trust the process” without bothering to explain what that actually means. Today, we have a big one, as the final battle arrives and we find out if the (long, dull, repetitive) journey has been worth it after all. Joining us once again will be Len and Yhani!
Chapter Fifty-Two
Len: Almost there… *she sighs* And the end can’t come soon enough! Well, we open with Traax reminding Princey that they’re outnumbered, but the Minions will do all they can to prevail, and Sovereigns and Six, what is it with this damned book and its insistence on repeating things everyone already knows! How many times have we been over this by now? We find that Tristan’s on his hatchling and hovering in the sky next to Traax and Ox with all the other Minions holding position around them and, wait, hovering? I don’t think most flying creatures can just hover in place like that for very long – how long have they been up here, anyway? Here, on this bizarre battlefield several thousand feet above the ground, the wind sliced into the exposed skin of Tristan’s face like invisible icicles. Huh; sounds like you probably should have worn a mask, or a scarf, or some sort of facial covering; you knew it was cold and you’d be going up into the air, and I bet the Minions have that sort of gear, considering. ‘Cause if this keeps up, Princey’s probably going to get frostbite. But he’s more worried when he looks down and sees Nicholas’s hatchlings circling below them – they’re not hovering – and there were so many of the enemy that they literally blotted out the earth below them.
Somehow, though, the fact that the enemy “literally blotted out the earth” doesn’t stop Princey from commenting on the local geography. I’m not sure Newcomb knows what “literally” means; or “blotted out,” for that matter. Farplain lived up to its name in every respect. It was a vast, flat barren expanse. Even at the height of the Season of the Sun it contained little more than dry, low-lying grasses with nowhere to hide. Oh, wow, a place called “Farplain” is exactly what it sounds like – coming from the same writer who gave us “the Directorate of Wizards, “the Minions of Day and Night,” and a bunch of gnomes named after how short they are, I’m somehow not surprised. Anyway, he keeps watching as the hatchlings fall into formation and start rising towards them, led by a single hatchling with a rider (oh, I wonder who that could be? Definitely not a certain assassin with a silly name and a penchant for bad poetry…) until they stop, facing the Minions directly in the air. And, wait, do the Minions not have bows (we know they have those silly returning wheels, so they have at least some ranged weapons), or are they just too sporting to use them until the enemy’s in position? The tens of thousands of red, glowing eyes were unnerving, seeming to light up the sky around them. The lead hatchling, whose rider is carrying a white flag on his spear (is Scrounge surrendering already? That was easy!) flies forward, and then we get the ominous declaration that the flag-carrying rider was Scrounge, as if that wasn’t already entirely obvious.
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 125 (one point for Tristan not doing anything to protect his face from the cold, one point for taking an embarrassingly long time to recognize Scrounge, one point for the Minions waiting patiently for the hatchlings to get into formation instead of just shooting at them while they had the advantage of altitude and surprise.)
Yhani: And so, Scrounge, pulling his bird to a stop (Newcomb really is treating these flying creatures as vehicles that can start, stop and hover indefinitely, is he not?) smiles and Tristan looks over his sallow face, lean torso and sunken eyes – Ancestors forbid we not be able to tell who is the villain here at a glance – as well as his weapons, which all bear Ragnar’s poison. Scrounge does not break into poetry – thank the Ancestors! – though he does begin some cliched villainous gloating, musing about how the day has finally come and how the Minions look formidable, though there are fewer of them than he was expecting (and there was a reason for that, was there not, Faegan?). He is surprised to see Tristan is riding one of Nicholas’s hatchlings, though he dismisses the matter as unimportant for you shall die this day anyway. Ah, Scrounge – that Tristan is riding a hatchling is proof that he, or his allies, know how to break the hatchlings’ allegiance to Nicholas and transfer it to themselves. Considering your whole army is made up of these creatures… that could be a rather significant problem. Scrounge is also amused that Tristan is going to battle under the colors of his fallen kingdom (what other colors was Scrounge expecting him to use? Did he think he would just grab the Coven’s flags where they were inexplicably left hanging and use them instead?) and that those colors fared poorly in their last battle (and that, at least, is the truth – though I must remind our assassin that flags alone do not win battles).
Regardless, Scrounge wishes to offer Tristan a deal – if he surrenders now, he will give him a painless death, but if he fights, he and everyone with him will die horribly. Apparently, Scrounge did not want to make this offer, as he really does want to fight Tristan, but he was ordered to by my lord himself, he who is your only son. Which is rather surprising, considering we know that Nicholas wants Tristan alive, and him dying, painlessly or otherwise, is rather counterproductive for that. Tristan tells him that Minion warriors never surrender (something which perhaps might have been left to one of the Minions to say – perhaps some of them do not agree with their lord promising for them to fight to the death, hmmm? – and noticeably does not account for Tristan himself, who is not a Minion). Scrounge grins and admits Nicholas thought he would say that, and so has a second part of his message to deliver. The Gates of Dawn are finished, Chosen One… tomorrow at the break of day, your son shall activate them and the Heretics will return. Your wizards are useless (at least someone has recognized that!). And your fabled stone, the so-called Paragon, is all but without life. Even the Consuls of the Redoubt have turned against you. The world as we know it will soon be forever changed. For the final time, my lord asks that you, the only other being on earth with azure blood, come and take your rightful place at his side, and at the side of those who shall soon descend from the heavens. To do so, my master tells me, is to live forever in the perfect ecstasy of the Vagaries. But refuse him, and you shall die either this day by the sword, or very soon due to the poison that runs through your body. And so, all of those words to say that the situation is exactly as it was the last time Nicholas asked Tristan to join him. How very disappointing.
MG: I’ll just say, the bit about Minions never surrendering makes me think even more that Newcomb may have intended them to be fantasy Spartans. Of course, in real life, the Spartans’ reputation for never surrendering and fighting to the death was based entirely on one battle, Thermopylae, and at other times they were perfectly willing to surrender, so… make of that what you will.
Blood Matters: 191
Exposition Intrusion: 253 (once again, we’re just repeating stuff we all already know)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 126 (seriously, Scrounge, that Tristan has hijacked one of your creatures is kind of important!)
Len: So, Scrounge takes a moment to taunt Princey by asking if he can even still lift his sword arm, and Princey promises he can kill Scrounge with it. He considers throwing a knife at Scrounge’s face but thinks sticking to the strategy he and Traax worked out is more important (except… this army is mostly composed of semi-intelligent magical monsters. I’d say there’s a good chance killing Scrounge, their designated commander, will break their discipline and unity, so… is it really less risky not to try?). He also thinks that Scrounge is fast enough to deflect his knife with a crossbow bolt, and that he did it before – yeah, kid, that sort of trick relies a lot on luck. I wouldn’t count on Scrounge being able to do it twice, and certainly not if you throw a bunch of them at him – but I guess that isn’t where Newcomb wants to take this, so it can’t happen *sigh*. Scrounge then notes Celeste’s scarf on Princey’s arm, and recognizes it; don’t tell me, Chosen One, that you actually have designs on Celeste? …Ragnar will be very pleased to have her back. And I imagine the things he will do to her in punishment for abandoning him will pale in comparison to what she has already suffered. Perhaps I will even be allowed some private time with her… after all, she is quite beautiful. Yeah, well, Ragnar’s dead and I imagine Scrounge is going to be too before long, so at least Celeste doesn’t have that to worry about. But, of, I think I’ve noticed the difference in how Newcomb writes male villains and female villains! Male villains are gross rapists; female villains get to be sexy rapists *gags*. You’re a real class act, Newcomb, you know that?
Well, Princey, for once, speaks for us all, telling Scrounge he’s tired of talk and drawing his dreggan. And when it is over, your guts will be splashed red upon the earth below me. And nothing of value will be lost. Seriously, Scrounge isn’t interesting, he’s not threatening, he’s not cool – he’s just evil and gross and I’m going to be perfectly happy when I don’t have to read about him any more (or read his damned poetry, for that matter). It’s like a metaphor for this whole story – I don’t want it to be over because I want to know how it ends, I want it to be over because I’m damned well sick of it! But Scrounge, gods help us, still isn’t done talking and says he has something to tell Princey about the children… their blood is the mortar that built the Gates of Dawn. And they will be needed further – perhaps forever. Ugh, yes, you’re evil and gross, we get it, just shut up and die already! *she buries her face in her hands* Why are we still doing this? Well, Scrounge and his hatchling wheel around and rejoin their troops, and Princey tells Ox to remember his orders and go do something. Ox doesn’t want to leave him, but Princey doesn’t want to hear it, telling him he needs him. We then learn that Ox is carrying a bugle that once belonged to the Royal Guard, and then he flies up into the clouds and hides there. Why, we don’t know, but Princey turns to Traax and tells him that Scrounge is mine, and mine alone, but if Princey dies first, he wants Traax to be the one to kill Scrounge – just so long as he dies knowing Scrounge is dead too. Honestly, I’d have told any Minion who gets a shot at Scrounge to take it – dead’s dead, and killing the enemy general is worth more than your vanity. But hey, I’m just a grouchy sellsword and he’s the Chosen One, so what do I know really? Traax says it’ll be his honor, and Princey reminds him to retreat and regroup if their plan fails, not to waste time fighting a losing battle (uh, isn’t the world supposed to end if you guys lose? Shouldn’t you figure that into your plans?). Traax promises that he lives to serve, and Princey takes a look around, taking in the sky and thinking he doesn’t fear death anymore, and that he’s already said all his goodbyes. It’d actually be a decent moment, if I gave a damn about any of these people, which I don’t.
Blood Matters: 192
Dastardly Deeds: 109
Gender Wars: 97 (of course we have to reestablish how eeevil Scrounge and Ragnar are – or were, in Ragnar’s case – by reminding the reader that they’re both rapists)
Gratuitous Grimdark: 78
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 127 (seriously, are the Minions supposed to not kill Scrounge if they get a shot at him, just to satisfy Tristan’s ego?)
Yhani: And so, Tristan takes a moment to smell the scent of Celeste’s handkerchief, and then the hatchlings start shrieking their battle cry. They charge, and Tristan cries out Now! For Eutracia! As the Minions fly to meet them. The two forces slam into each other, and Tristan dodges an attack as Ox blows his bugle. Tristan watches as the two forces fight one another, blood, bodies and severed limbs and heads went flying into the cold air, falling in almost slow motion, bathing the ground below in red, what a charming image. Then, in response to Ox’s call, thousands of Minions, almost a full third of Tristan’s forces, come boiling out of the clouds to attack the hatchlings’ unguarded rear. Ah, so, on the one hand, there was an explanation for why there were so few Minions that was not because Faegan got so many of them killed. On the other hand, apparently, they can hover indefinitely – and silently – if the hatchlings never spotted them up there. Tristan watches as nearly twenty-five thousand hatchlings died on the spot, implying that the Minions all made their kills instantly, effortlessly, and without meeting any resistance, which in my experience is not how battles work – the enemy rarely lines themselves up and submits easily to being killed. One might say that is what makes them the enemy. Nonetheless, the mangled bodies of the grotesque birds fell in convoluted postures of instant death. We briefly learn that it was Traax who proposed this strategy – which I can only imagine succeeded beyond his wildest imaginings! – but that the Minions remain outnumbered. With the scattering of the hatchlings’ rear lines, the battle was quickly decaying into individual struggles, each fighter for himself. I will say, in an infantry battle, at least, that should not happen. If an army’s formation breaks that badly, it is because they are routing and therefore usually losing. Then again, I do not know how that would apply to a sky battle where both forces have wings…
Tristan, meanwhile, is looking for Scrounge, and finds him diving on his hatchling towards a Minion whose back is turned (which seems an appropriate tactic for an assassin… but does make me wonder all the more what an assassin is doing commanding an army… or rather, an air force). Scrounge takes off the Minion’s head in one blow (that is actually rather difficult – there is quite a lot of muscle and bone in the neck and striking it off so cleanly usually requires a lot of strength and a heavy blade – stabbing him in the neck would have been better) and turns to do the same to another. Tristan considers attacking Scrounge while his back is turned but decides against it. You shall know it was I who killed you. *she sighs* And, once again, pride trumps practicality. And so instead he charges at Scrounge, screaming his name. Because of course he does. The two men meet in midair, their blades clashing. Scrounge, showing some glimmer of tactical sense, tries to cut Tristan’s saddle off to send him falling to his death, but fails; Tristan, meanwhile, is slowed due to the pain and stiffness of his poisoned arm. Scrounge tries to shoot one of his poisoned bolts at him, but Tristan dodges and Scrounge hits one of his own hatchlings instead, because of course he did. So, Tristan throws a knife, and sure enough, as my Dear Heart suggested Scrounge does not try to shoot it out of the air and just dodges; it misses his heart but hits his shoulder, making him howl in pain. Scrounge tears out the knife but it buys Tristan time to get up in his face and start whaling on him with all his strength. Scrounge tries to shoot him again, misses again, and then manages to get his hatchling to disengage and turns to flee, Tristan in hot pursuit.
Gratuitous Grimdark: 80
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 130
Len: Well, the intense coldness of the wind slammed into Tristan’s face and eyes, blurring his vision so that he could hardly see. *smugly* Told you, you needed something to protect your face! Scrounge dives under the battle and then back up again, trying to hide among the other hatchlings (that’d be easier if any of the others had riders too, you know…). Princey tries to follow but gets intercepted by other hatchlings; after he’s killed them, he comes to the realization that the Minions were losing. Yeah, and that’s… exactly what you expected going into this, right? He thinks that they’re giving ground for the first time in their history and seriously, you know nothing about their history (we know they never fought a serious enemy before invading Eutracia – and that wasn’t much to write home about either – so I’m not sure how great as soldiers they can be, but that’s for another time). He considers sounding a retreat but gets caught up fighting another hatchling as the pain in his arm keeps getting worse. Finally, he kills it using the stupid extending function on his dreggan (still can’t get over how badly that gimmick would weaken the blade and make it easy to break…) and since he can’t spot Ox or Traax decides that he would have to alter the course of battle by himself. And since it’s really, really hard for a general to take control of a battle in-progress, especially if you don’t have magical communications with your officers or the like, you’ve already committed your reserves, and this thing has already devolved into a confused melee… good luck with that. He tries to rally his officers – good luck getting them to hear you over the sound of the wind and the screams of the dying, Princey – but before he can, his hatchling rebelled. What a twist!
The hatchling carries him straight down through the battle, dodging attacks until it gets him to Ox and Traax (who are… conveniently together, I guess?) grimly fighting back-to-back. Well, that’s convenient. Who wants to bet that the “rebelling” hatchling was actually because Shailiha was taking direct control of it? Anyone? So, Princey tries to get their attention, but of course they can’t hear him – see! – and the hatchling carries him away, above the fighting. Then, suddenly, it speaks, telling him to trust the process, Chosen One. Princey’s stunned, thinking he’s hallucinating or having another seizure, but he realizes he’s not and is amazed that the hatchling could speak! Yeah, and having Shailiha hold that knowledge back from him really helped with things, didn’t it, Wigg? It repeats that he should trust the process, leaving Princey utterly mystified as to what process he’s supposed to be trusting. Me too, buddy. Me too. He demands it explain itself, but it stays silent, and then he hears the bugle calls and realizes that Ox and Traax must have understood what he was trying to say to them and have ordered a retreat. The Minions start to obey as the hatchling stays stubbornly in place, and then flies out of Ox and Traax’s way even though Princey wants to speak to them. He realizes with horror that we are in a full-fledged retreat even though that’s… apparently what you were trying to order anyway? Huh? He’s left flying through the sky, wondering what process he’s supposed to trust and unable to command his hatchling, as the scene ends. So okay, clearly Wigg and Faegan have some plan here they’re using Shailiha to carry out, but… I still have no idea how keeping any of that from Princey helped, at all.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 54
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 135
Yhani: And so, we cut to Shailiha, who is standing with her back to Shadowood, facing towards Farplain; her eyes are closed, her hands outstretched, and she can hear nothing but the wind in the trees. All of this, I think, could have been guessed from how she was clearly controlling her brother’s hatchling earlier. Suddenly, she hears a mental alert from Caprice, and announces that Tristan, Traax and Ox are in retreat and heading towards them. Faegan demands to know if it was Caprice who told her (how else would she have known, unless there is a different, as-yet-undiscovered colony of giant butterflies she is in communion with?) and Wigg asks if the enemy are following. When she says they are and will be here in about an hour, he says it is time to make ready. Shailiha can hear strange and foreign-sounding noises as the Minions and gnomes get to work in the forest behind her, and she thinks about how the peace of Shadowood is about to change. We cut back to Tristan, as he realizes his mount is taking him towards Shadowood. He tries to change its direction, but it does nothing and he is too exhausted from battle and poisoning to keep it up, so he just slumps quietly in the saddle. We cut back to Shailiha who announces that they are here. Wigg asks if Faegan is ready, and Faegan hopes that they are, praying may the Afterlife have somehow granted us the wisdom to be right. Well, that would be a miracle indeed – but considering the source of the threat you are facing is, ostensibly, from the Afterlife, I am not sure that is the best prayer to be making in this circumstance…
We cut back to Tristan, who has given up on trying to get his hatchling to change direction as he approaches Shadowood. Suddenly, the hatchling dives and the Minions follow, and Tristan becomes convinced that this is a trick – that the hatchling remains under Nicholas’s control, and means to deliberately crash, killing both Tristan and itself. How could he have been so blind and mistrusting? And what about the Minions? Would they follow him to their deaths…? Alas, we are aware that the true reason is that your sister has been keeping secrets from you for no good reason that I can tell… it is not an enemy plot, merely another testament to the incompetence of your wizards. He tries to wave the Minions off, but then finally makes the connection that this is what “trust the process” means! *beat* Would it have killed Shailiha to offer slightly useful advice instead? He briefly spots Shailiha herself on the ground, along with the wizards, and then the hatchling dives into the canyon (is that the same canyon with the bridge Shannon was guarding in the previous book?). The hatchling races along, and Tristan can see the bottom of the canyon is littered with bones, they were no doubt the result of having gone one step too far in pursuit of the magical place known as Shadowood. And, as I recall, the wizards made that canyon invisible with illusions, so… all of those deaths are on them. Suddenly, behind him, he sees that the entire Minion army is following him (all of them? Did he count them? And how big is this canyon!?); he cannot see if the hatchlings are still pursuing them, and all he can do is hold on.
Gratuitous Grimdark: 81
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 137
Len: Well, we cut back to Wigg, haranguing Faegan about how their timing has to be perfect, to which Faegan says he’s well aware (can we lock these two in a room together somewhere and throw away the key? They deserve each other, and no one else does, so everyone wins, except two wizards I wouldn’t lament being rid of…). Turns out the two of them and Shailiha watched Princey and the Minions dive into the canyon, and now all they can do is wait, while Faegan silently employed the craft to calculate the variables of time. Because clearly, just counting seconds is for poor, stupid unendowed people. *rolls her eyes* Finally, he raises his hand and shoots a bolt of energy – azure, if you hadn’t guessed – into the sky, which is apparently a signal. The Minions who came to Shadowood with them come flying out of the trees, some carrying tools that aren’t weapons, and some carrying gnomes. *nonplussed* Are they going to throw the gnomes at the hatchlings? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure using living people as ammunition is a war crime… Each of the little men… (‘course it was only the men; who ever heard of women fighting to defend their homes, right?) gripped what appeared to be a canvas bag. Oh, so they’re going to sack the hatchlings (literally?). I… think you’re gonna need more gnomes. Faegan signals again, and the Minions who aren’t carrying gnomes unfurl what they are carrying – swamp shrew nets. *beat* Huh. Did… did Newcomb actually set something up to pay off later? I think he did! …I’d be kinda proud of him, if the rest of the book wasn’t so terrible. Anyway, these Minions dive into the canyon too, with Shailiha watching in amazement. Once they’re gone, Faegan nods at her and she raises her arms. *flatly* Oh, I wonder what the woman who can control winged creatures is about to do to the attacking army of winged creatures… I’m on the edge of my seat, here.
We cut back to Princey as his hatchling flies about halfway up the canyon and stops. Traax is able to catch up and ask why they’re stopping, and if this means they’re going to turn back around and fight like warriors (uh, you already tried that… wasn’t working). Princey just tells them to get ready, since this is no time for explanations (seriously, it seems like in this book every time is a time for explanations, and I got sick of it a long time ago!) But before they can attack, the other Minions show up and drop on the hatchlings from behind and start catching them in nets. Uh… are there nearly enough of them for that? Tristan’s Minions fly over to help, and then they start dragging the captured hatchlings down to the floor of the canyon. Tristan watched, dumbfounded. Yeah, me too. Still not sure what the point of keeping this a secret was, or how the small number of Minions the wizards took with them are nearly enough to make a dent in how many hatchlings there’re supposed to be. Once they’re on the ground, the gnomes start pounding stakes in to secure the nets. Finally, Princey realizes that his sister and the wizards set this up and draws his sword to go look for Scrounge. Before he spots him, his hatchling suddenly shoots up into the air and flies off; he realizes where he’s going and falls asleep in the saddle. Yay. We cut back to Shailiha watching her brother go and asking if he’ll live, and Wigg says they’ve been lucky so far, but this isn’t something he can control. I must tell you from my heart that there is no way for him to survive. What we do now is simply to give him an additional sense of closure in his life, nothing more. Yeah, and supposedly save the world from a bunch of evil undead demigods – remember them? And if you really believe that Princey’s gonna die here – I’ll more than match whatever you’ll wager. Wigg says that soon Princey’s final seizure will hit, and there’s nothing they can do to stop that, or Nicholas – he guesses the Confluence will be tomorrow. Shailiha wants to go with Princey, but Faegan says he has to do this alone. *rolling her eyes* Because Sovereigns forbid a woman get to do anything interesting around here. Did she do anything to the rest of the hatchlings with her oh-so-special powers, by the way? Caprice comes over to land on Shailiha’s head, and she thinks to herself Good-bye, my brother. I shall always love you as the chapter comes to an end.
MG: But we’re going to go ahead and do one more chapter today, as well! Normally I wouldn’t do two this long together, but since they’re both halves of the climax, I think this makes the most sense. Also, for the curious, in light of this chapter’s events, I highly recommend this series of blog posts on pre-modern generalship. Let’s just say Tristan’s no Julius Caesar and leave it at that.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 55 (how on earth did Wigg and Faegan assemble enough nets, enough Minions, and enough gnomes to neutralize that giant hatchling army?)
Gender Wars: 98 (of course Tristan gets to go fly off and fight the bad guys, while Shailiha stays behind and angsts)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 142
Chapter Fifty-Three
Yhani: And so, we open with Tristan, still riding his hatchling; we are told that he has nodded off several times but is in too much pain from the poison to get any real rest. The sky has cleared, and Amidst uncountable stars, Eutracia’s three rose-colored moons hung against the inky, impenetrable night. I would remind you that they are the whole world’s moons, not merely Eutracia’s… but I fear at this point, it would fall on deaf ears. He thinks that it can be only a few hours until dawn. Tristan tries to pull his coat tighter around himself against the cold, to no avail as he could no longer feel his hands or feet. *flatly* I think my Dear Heart was right – you were not prepared for this mission! Nonetheless, he knows that there is only one place the hatchling can be taking him – the site protecting the Gates of Dawn. For that was where Nicholas would be. Tristan can feel himself weakening and feels that he will soon die – including mentally reminding himself of the existence of the brain hook and to use it before his final seizure strikes - and, alas, I believe it no more than my Dear Heart does. As he flies, he thinks back to the events of the first book, including the attack on Eutracia and his ultimate rescue of Shailiha, but realizes that this time, there will be no happy ending. Everyone and everything he had ever held dear would soon perish. The Vagaries… would rule. Not only alone, but also forever, guided by the Guild of the Heretics, who would ensure that a new age of darkness reigned. My, my, you are laying this on quite thick, are you not, Newcomb? But considering that, again, there are four more books of this to go… I do not think you are fooling anyone.
Tristan thinks to himself that Shailiha and the wizards are not sending him to the Gates to stop the Confluence, or to survive. Nothing could stop those things now. Need I remind you of my previous comment? Rather, it was because they knew he would want to confront his son for the final time. Which is… generous of them, I suppose? Tristan thinks about how he has already said his goodbyes, and he thinks dying in bed in the palace or the Recluse would only make the pain worse. He was glad they would not be there to see his death. He wanted their memories of him to be of the strong man he had once been. On the one hand, I do understand – I think – what Newcomb is going for here, but on the other, that specific wording makes it sound strangely like Tristan wants to die alone for the sake of vanity. How odd. And this way, he at least thinks he will be able to see his son one final time, no matter what kind of monster he had become. Which would have been more impactful if you had made any real effort to reach out to or redeem Nicholas after you learned he was alive… Fighting off the pain, he thinks about how he can find some measure of peace before he dies by confronting Nicholas one last time, and that Faegan and Wigg must have known it too. Assuming he doesn’t have his final seizure now and fall off his hatchling en route, that is. Scrounge would no doubt have been amused, he thought. No, I think he would have felt cheated because he wanted to kill you personally. Where is Scrounge, by the way? I do not believe he was confirmed among the casualties of the battle…
Contrivances and Coincidences: 58 (Newcomb is really going all in on trying to convince us everyone is doomed, and this seems the best place to put it)
Exposition Intrusion: 257 (apparently, Tristan is using the fact of being near death to reflect on literally every topic of importance to him…)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 144
Len: Well, Princey finally manages to get comfortable enough to get some real sleep; he wakes up when the sun’s first light hits him, to find he’s literally frozen to his hatchling. *beat* What the hells, Princey? Did none of these people make any sort of winter and sky preparations at all? *she sighs* ‘Course they didn’t. He manages to tear himself off, leaving part of his coat behind, and oh, his hair and eyebrows are frozen too, and his right hand doesn’t even feel like a hand anymore. I’ll remind you his twin sister sent him into this, by the way. *facepalm* Looking down, he sees the Gates of Dawn below him; they resembled gigantic horseshoes, curved at the tops, their ends planted firmly in the earth. They’re made of black marble, but shot through with blue, and he realizes that must be the blood of the Heretics. As the hatchling descends, he can see the carrion scarabs around the gates undulating back and forth in a black, riverlike mass *she shudders visibly* surrounding the tattered remains of the undead Consuls’ bodies. Nicholas himself is standing by the Gates; the young adept faced the rising sun, his white robes billowing in the wind, his long, dark hair flying out behind him. He seemed oblivious to the cold. Well, at least someone around here is. The hatchling lands, and the partially frozen Princey manages to dismount, with some effort (seriously, was everyone just thinking “this guy is a dead man walking, who cares if he suffers?” ‘Cause that’s what it seems like, and damn). He falls on all fours, staggers to his feet, and turns to face Nicholas, who’s been watching but not doing anything to help.
So Princey takes a moment to stare silently into Nicholas’s upturned, exotic eyes – seriously, stop objectifying your own son! – and thinks that they’re Succiu’s eyes… and mine. All around, he can feel Nicholas radiating an energy beyond anything Succiu or Failee could’ve managed…
MG: *muttering* I will not make an over 9000 joke… I will not make an over 9000 joke…
Len: *nonplused* Huh. Princey wonders if this means Nicholas holds all the power of the Paragon now (maybe if those damned wizards had gotten around to training you, you could tell that for yourself…) and he sadly looks at Celeste’s handkerchief as he wonders if she and the wizards are dead now. It takes all his strength to stay upright as he thinks about how nothing can stop (Nicholas) now – oh, I’m sure something can, and knowing Newcomb, I’m sure it’ll be underwhelming. The two of them just stand there staring silently at each other for a while now as Princey thinks that the world was about to change forever, and Tristan knew there was absolutely nothing he could do to prevent it. *rolling her eyes* Yeah, well, we’ll see. Finally, Nicholas speaks, noting that Princey has returned, and you have chosen to become one of us after all. I am very pleased. He then takes the antidote to the blood stalker venom out of his robes and says that if Princey agrees to join them and allows Nicholas to magically confirm he’s telling the truth, he’ll give it to him. Princey stares for a while, thinking that the antidote can save his life, but at what price? Uh, the end of the world? You know damned well what price; we’ve spent half the book yammering about it! Finally, though, he says he rejects Nicholas’s offer. To bargain for my life is not why I have come. As if there was ever any doubt.
Blood Matters: 193
Gratuitous Grimdark: 82
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 146
Yhani: Nicholas, clearly angry, demands to know why Tristan has come, then. Do not tell me that it is simply so that I may see you die? My poor, misguided father! If that is true then you misunderstand, and have therefore traveled all this way for naught. I have no need to see your death actually occur, simply to know that it soon shall. Just as I have no need to see the sun rise tomorrow, in order to know that such a thing shall occur. Ah, but unless you have some magical way of knowing exactly when Tristan dies, perhaps it is for the best to witness the event, merely to be safe? Tristan says that he has come to ask Nicholas to stop this. He asks him to come back to Shadowood. Allow my wizards to try and help you… to bring you to the Vigors and the light. I beseech you to release the power of the stone back to the Paragon, so that we all might work together to find a way… my son… I beg of you… On the one hand, this is Tristan making a genuine effort to reach out to his son before he dies… on the other hand, I fear it may be, as the humans say, too little, too late, and Nicholas seems to agree. You beg of me? …you of the azure blood, the Chosen One himself, who rejected his only son not once, but three times? The son you ripped from the comfort of the womb with the very knives you now carry, leaving him to rot in a foreign land? Then only to reject out of hand his compassionate offer of truly everlasting ecstasy in the craft, so graciously made to him that day in the Caves? And finally to reject his own seed yet again, at this exact moment… to insult that son’s vastly superior power and knowledge of the craft by suggesting that it could be augmented by his powerless, vastly inferior wizards! And to ask his son… to practice the deceitful, flaccid Vigors? …to therefore spurn the very ones who gave me life, returning me to the land of the living? …what you suggest for me is slavery, nothing more. Hmm; while this is clearly meant to establish that Nicholas is beyond saving… I have to agree with his assessment of the wizards (though his use of the word flaccid to describe the Vigors has certain… implications). Nicholas ends by telling Tristan he would have done better to allow Wigg to burn his body when he had the chance… and to be fair, that I cannot disagree with.
And so, Nicholas declares that Tristan has clearly not been listening (does he ever?) and then raises his white, perfect palm (Tristan, that is a… curious way to describe your son’s hand…) and causes Tristan to collapse in agony. He tries to pull out the brain hook but is in too much pain to reach it and can do nothing but silently beg his son to stop. Finally, he manages to say that all of your hatchlings are dead… and so is Scrounge, both of which are statements I would not feel nearly as confident about, in Tristan’s place. Nicholas admits it does not matter – he is mildly interested in how it was done (as am I, as I am quite certain the method described would not actually work…), but otherwise, they existed only to buy him time, which they did. All Tristan did was spare Nicholas the need to kill them himself. Neither the hatchlings, nor Scrounge, nor your Minions are worthy of any place in our new world. Not even Ragnar, for that matter. He too has gone to his reward. He further adds that even the scarabs will be destroyed, and the wraiths which bled Tristan have already been dismissed. Because of course, Nicholas is evil, and therefore must treat all of his servants as disposable!
Blood Matters: 194
Dastardly Deeds: 114
Exposition Intrusion: 260
Gratuitous Grimdark: 83
Len: Princey then asks – still barely able to talk through the pain, I’ll add – about the children Nicholas kidnapped. Why must they live with you… forever? Uh, ‘cause Nicholas and/or the Heretics want to indoctrinate the next generation of magic-users? That’s not hard. But Nicholas just calls them one of the greatest keys to all that has transpired and tells Princey he should have gone to Fledgling House long ago and collected the children there himself (well maybe he would have if someone had told him about them, Wigg). And indeed, Nicholas says that if Wigg hadn’t been so protective of his silly secret of the training of young females in the craft, Princey could’ve stopped him long ago. *she sighs* And so now even the bad guy’s admitting everything is Wigg’s fault. Nicholas goes on to say that if he just needed the kids’ blood, he’d have collected it and then given them back, which is… weirdly kind of considerate of him, if blood sacrifice ever counts as “considerate.” His real reason has to do with an ancient underlying concept regarding young endowed females that even your wizards are not completely conversant with, and I’ve got no idea what he’s on about it, but it creeps me out. Nicholas then comments that this is a topic for another day – except that Princey doesn’t have any more days left. Princey, still in pain, asks him about the Consuls, and damn, even dying doesn’t stop these people from holding long, boring expository conversations, does it? Nicholas just says they’re alive, safe, and waiting for the Confluence, which is about what I’d expect.
Well, for some reason that specifically inspires Princey to haul himself up and tell Nicholas that I refuse to believe that my seed could have vomited forth upon the world something so evil as the being that now stands before me… even though you were the product of rape and forcibly taken before your time from the womb of a sorceress. *bemused* So, what, does Princey somehow think that being the product of rape and cut prematurely from Succiu’s womb would make Nicholas evil, but not as evil as he’s been acting? That’s… weird, and mostly just gross, and I hate it. Also, I’m pretty sure the Heretics are the ones to blame for how Nicholas turned out; they’re the ones who took the kid, resurrected him, and turned him into what he is, after all. I mean, I don’t think even Succiu wanted this. Having said his piece, Princey collapses again, and Nicholas just tells him that history is written by the victors (eh, it’s more that history is written by the survivors, I’d say) and their history will be written as the story of how Tristan failed. He then takes a moment to note that he senses the influence of another’s endowed blood in the hatchling, but decides it doesn’t matter (seriously, first Scrounge and now Nicholas – these people seem really unconcerned by the fact that their creatures are vulnerable to being subverted like that!) and blasts it with a bolt of light (azure, of course!) so that it explodes into a rain of leather and offal, gross. And I guess that’s it for the hatchling, then. I might’ve cared more if you had an actual personality, and ever said anything other than “trust the process.” And I guess if Princey wants to fly into battle in the future, he will have to catch a ride with Ox or Traax, oh my!
Blood Matters: 196
Dastardly Deeds: 116
Exposition Intrusion: 265
Gender Wars: 99
Gratuitous Grimdark: 84
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 148
Yhani: And so, Nicholas announces that now I have a great mission to complete and turns back to the Gates; he tells Tristan he is leaving him to die, but since he is young and strong, he might live long enough to see the Heretics return (except that Tristan is also badly poisoned, exhausted and likely frostbitten, which would not help his odds…). Tristan looks out over Eutracia and wonders how he can kill himself without using the brain hook. He considers rolling off into the swarm of scarabs, hoping the fall will kill him rather than the beetles, though he thinks that either way the pain would stop. Nicholas, meanwhile, is ignoring him – I would think that the villain ignoring the “hero” just before his moment of triumph would be a mistake, but this is Newcomb, so I am not expecting too much – and has arranged three silver goblets in front of himself, which Tristan knows must contain the fluids required for the Confluence. One will contain the blood of the children, one the waters of the Caves, and one Tristan’s own blood. The last ingredient, the Heretics’ blood, is held within the Gates themselves. These seemingly disparate elements would allow Nicholas to separate the heavens, bringing forth the Guild of the Heretics. And indeed, Nicholas begins the ritual by closing his eyes and bowing towards the sun. The goblet containing the waters rises and spills its contents into the air, where it forms into a flat sheet hovering before Nicholas; the goblet containing the children’s blood then does the same, as does the one with Tristan’s blood.
Tristan is left remembering what Faegan told him about the ritual; Nicholas will need to mix the liquids together next, and then somehow use them to activate the Gates and summon the spirits of the Heretics, who will regain their bodies as they pass through and are reunited with their blood. *she makes a disgusted noise* Once again, I believe that the Blood of Vol heretics, who believe that the essence of divinity itself is locked in mortal blood, waiting to be released, perform rituals less focused on blood than this! But once the Heretics return, with the Ones gone, this time there will be no one to fight them. Nicholas gestures again, and the sheets of blood and water rise into the air and form into a square, which then begins to spin, their colors combining to form a solid cube of amazingly beautiful amethyst, glistening brightly against the almost-risen dawn. Not azure, for once? Why, Newcomb – I did not know you had it in you! The cube then begins to grow until it almost blots out the sky, while Tristan shudders at the terrible sound it makes as it continues to spin faster and faster. Finally, it stops, and it started to drip. Considering it is made of liquid magically held in that shape – is that really so surprising? The drips land on the ground near Tristan, and then start to form together, gathering more of its own glowing matter to itself. Then it began to slither across the smooth, black-and-azure marble in many directions at once. Well, that is disconcerting! Of course, endowed blood does something like that on its own, apparently – how does it feel to have something like that inside you, o prince?
Blood Matters: 201
Exposition Intrusion: 268
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 149
Len: The fluid starts to slither up and around the gates, and as it does it covers Princey in the process too; Tristan’s body was soon awash in its warm, almost comforting slickness, and he could do nothing but let it cover him. *looking faintly disgusted* That sound kinda dirty to anyone else? ‘Cause it does to me… Nicholas keeps directing the stuff until it’s covered the entire first Gate, and then it starts jumping over to the other two Gates, until all three are covered. It has begun, Tristan thought. Kid, I know you’re probably delirious, but if you mean the ritual – it started a while ago, when Nicholas took out those goblets. Try to keep up. Nicholas floats into the air, crosses his legs and starts chanting; Princey’s pretty sure the language is Old Eutracian, since it sounds a lot like something he’s heard Faegan read. That’s… nice, I guess? Maybe it would be more meaningful if there were any languages in these books that weren’t Eutracian, old or otherwise. The Gates start glowing – Newcomb doesn’t say what color, for once – and then they start shooting lightning into the sky, followed by crashing thunder. *rolling her eyes* Oooh, an evil ritual that causes lightning. Very original. And sure enough, the lightning summons storm clouds, which blot out the sky, and then Nicholas – who’s breathing heavily as if he were struggling mightily with something, and at least Newcomb didn’t have him panting in ecstasy or something – raises his hand and the lightning stops. The three Gates of Dawn glowed spectacularly, silently, in the overwhelming darkness. Princey thinks that with the Gates prepared, Nicholas is about to summon the full power of the Paragon. For the first time, a single being is about to summon the entire dynamism of the stone. Okay, look, I know this is supposed to be ominous and all, but seriously – dynamism? I know you’ve used it before, but Newcomb, is that really the best word you could think of?
Nicholas waits for a bit and then spreads his arms, and a single, giant bolt of lightning flew from the apex of the Gate up towards the heavens… it persisted in the darkness of the sky, hanging motionless, the ends of its forked fingers lost in the gloom. Huh, okay, credit where it’s due, that’s a genuinely creepy image. And then Princey realizes that it was parting the darkness of the heavens. The clouds part, and rays of soft, azure light (ha, I knew Newcomb wouldn’t be able to resist forever!) shine through. For a while there’s silence, and then a horrific chorus of human voices came down through the opening in the sky. On and on it came, the many voices shrieking, crying, wailing and moaning all at once. Well, doesn’t that just figure – you go to all the trouble to summon an ancient evil, and all they want to do is yell incoherently at you! Guess omnipotence isn’t what it makes out, huh? Princey manages to cover his ears, thinking to himself that the Guild of the Heretics, the ancient masters of the Vagaries, are about to reclaim the Earth. And then Nicholas helpfully(?) announces that my parents of above finally return to the earth, as if we and Princey didn’t already know that. And then, this happens. Faces had begun to develop. Huge human faces, thousands of them, men and women alike, were being illuminated from behind by a celestial source of light such as the prince had never seen. Their eyes were exquisitely sad, their mouths calling out beseechingly to Nicholas. The faces soared and turned in the heavens just beyond the edges of the great opening, as if waiting for something. The wailing coming from their open mouths became even louder. Well, that’s… different. And there are thousands of Heretics? Huh, I was thinking maybe, a few dozen at most, and probably less than that; wouldn’t have thought those types would want to share power.
MG: And, needless to say, in light of later retcons in the series, this sequence makes no damned sense whatsoever. Because remember, the Heretics turn out to be an empire of very much alive magic Romans on the other side of the planet, to whom Eutracia is a backwater they couldn’t care less about. Try to reconcile that with this sequence; I dare you.
Len: Dammit, Newcomb!
Blood Matters: 203
Contrivances and Coincidences: 59 (Tristan, I know you’re in terrible pain, but are you even going to think about trying to do something about this, even if you can’t actually do it?)
Exposition Intrusion: 270
Yhani: Tristan watches all of this and does not act, instead thinking to himself that there is no force that can stop him. Considering how close we are to the end of the book, I somehow doubt that – unless Nicholas is going to succeed in summoning the Heretics and the rest of the series is about resisting their rule, but I do not think Newcomb is likely to commit to that. Nicholas’s glow suddenly increases wondrously – not the word I would have used! – and the wailing, beseeching faces of the Heretics crowd closer, and then… Nicholas screamed. As if gripped by some horrific, unexplained agony, he covered his eyes with his hands. *blinking in shock* I… beg your pardon? Tristan did not do anything! Nobody did anything! What is happening here? But the Heretics do not descend further, their wailing growing louder, as Nicholas removes his hands from his face and screams even louder, a helpless, agonizing sound that tore through the heavens… Nicholas was bleeding from every orifice. From his eyes, ears, nose, mouth and groin poured shimmering, azure blood. *blinks some more* By my Ancestors, that is horrifying. And… does this mean that the villain is somehow killing himself, without Tristan having to lift a finger? That seems… remarkably convenient, and yet I cannot think of what else could be happening! Still screaming, Nicholas falls from the sky, lying beside his father. The adept looked pleadingly into Tristan’s face. And then his eyes, the eyes so reminiscent of Succiu, slowly closed, and the aura that had always surrounded his being slowly faded into nothingness. *stunned* And that, as they say, is that. It was not how I expected it to go, to be sure! I expected some manner of… confrontation, but instead the villain simply… died of his own accord on the cusp of his victory? Perhaps even now, I still overestimate Newcomb!
And indeed, looking up at the sky, Tristan sees the Heretics’ faces receding. The great rent in the skies eventually closed; the faces of the Heretics disappeared. And those are our grand villains for this whole… saga? Consider me underwhelmed! The darkness and thunder remain, however, and Tristan realizes that while the spell Nicholas was torturing him with has ended, the poison is still in his veins. He starts stumbling towards Nicholas’s body, desperate to reach the antidote, but just as he began the next step, the Gates of Dawn shuddered. *arching an eyebrow* Ah. Is this the part where, with the villain dead, their fortress – or gates, in this case – must conveniently collapse? Indeed, the Gates begin to crack and smoke, and the ground around them shakes, causing Tristan to collapse. The ground cracks open between him and Nicholas, a distance he could not jump even if healthy. He tries to force himself to go around, but he suddenly collapses against the Gate, foaming at the mouth, as his final seizure hits. Knowing he will not reach the antidote, he fumbles for the brain hook, but just as he pulls it out, the Gates begin to collapse. The tops of the second and third Gates cracked open entirely, their marble blocks crashing to the earth. With an agonizing, torturous sound, the Gate he and Nicholas were on shook again, and the cracks in its top split open from end to end. *yawn* I would be far more engrossed in this if I was not absolutely certain Tristan would survive. Tristan raises the brain hook but can already feel himself choking. He takes a final glance at his medallion and Celeste’s handkerchief, raises the hook to his ear, and the chapter ends as he can hear a voice taunting him. Die, Chosen One! …Die, Chosen One! …Die! …Die! …Die! *she sighs* Well, I suppose we have proof that Tristan’s hallucinatory voices are as lacking in imagination as the rest of him?
Len: *dazed, and putting an arm around Yhani’s shoulder* Is… is that really it? I mean, my expectations for Newcomb were low to begin with, but… damn, even the climax of Fifth Sorceress was better than that. At least there, Princey did something to help kill the bad guys, even if it wasn’t much. This… I don’t even know what in Khyber this is supposed to be. *she looks at mg pleadingly* Are we free to go?
MG: You are free to go! *Len and Yhani vanish happily* As for the rest of us… yeah. This climax was terrible, and also inexplicable. First off, we have the final battle. I don’t get how that even worked. We’re repeatedly told that the hatchlings, even after the losses they’d suffered, were a huge horde that massively outnumbered the Minions. And yet a few more Minions with nets (and gnomes!) were somehow able to catch all of them? I mean, even assuming each net could hold a bunch of hatchlings (and I’m sure they could; the nets were for swamp shrews, and the shrews are much, much bigger than the hatchlings) I still don’t see how that could be enough – and that’s assuming that each Minion was able to net a bunch of hatchlings all at once with no losses and no hatchlings getting out of the way, which seems improbable! And no, I don’t think Shailiha used her powers to do anything to make the hatchlings immobilized or easier to catch. In fact, all our protagonists were ultimately pretty useless here. Tristan, after his aerial duel with Scrounge, spent most of the rest of the battle just being carried around by his hatchling, contributing nothing. We will eventually get an explanation for why he was kept in the dark about the big plan, but IMO it really doesn’t justify it and it just feels like Newcomb was setting up some contrived, artificial tension for the hell of it. Shailiha was in control of that particular hatchling, but otherwise did nothing (like, say, using her powers on any of the other hatchlings…). The wizards… stood, watched, and barked orders. Ox and Traax killed some hatchlings. But the real victors… were the nameless Minions and gnomes with nets. Huh. That’s sure… a choice.
The second, real climax if anything was worse. Tristan literally just shows up, chats with Nicholas a bit, they confirm they hate each other, Nicholas starts the ritual and summons the Heretics, suddenly drops dead of his own accord without anything Tristan did being responsible, and the Heretics vanish again. Seriously, I think this may be the most sudden, inexplicable, and anticlimactic villain death in anything I’ve ever seen or read – even Greenwood is usually better than this. Ed. Freaking. Greenwood! I mean, I’ve seen people complain about Raiders of the Lost Ark that in the end, Indiana Jones doesn’t have to do anything to defeat the Nazis, the Ark does it for him – but at least that movie had already clearly established that the Ark is dangerous and shouldn’t be messed with lightly (and if you’re familiar with the Biblical lore on the subject of the Ark of the Covenant… you know that’s absolutely true). Nothing like that happened here; there was no buildup or foreshadowing or explanation, Nicholas just… dropped dead all on his own, without Tristan having to lift a finger. Seriously, the first thing that comes to mind for comparison is this video, which… probably isn’t where you want your readers’ minds going for your super-edgy dark fantasy:
We will get an explanation next time, conveniently after the fact, but to say it doesn’t help and wasn’t foreshadowed at all is an understatement. Even the big bad Heretics just showed up, were spooky, screamed incoherently a bit, and then vanished again, accomplishing nothing. Sporking this, I can really see why Newcomb decided later on that the only way to remotely preserve their threat was to retcon them into being something completely different and mostly sweep the events of this book under the rug. In any case, that’s it for the “climactic” chapters of The Gates of Dawn; we’ve still got three more posts to go, according to my schedule, including the final thoughts, but we’re almost there! Next time, we learn Tristan’s fate (spoilers, he’s not dead) and Wigg and Faegan explain it all, again. We’ll see you then! For now, our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 206
Contrivances and Coincidences: 65 (for, uh, everything about Nicholas’s fate and the aftermath)
Dastardly Deeds: 116
Exposition Intrusion: 270
Gender Wars: 98
Gratuitous Grimdark: 88
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 150
Warning: This post contains depictions and/or discussion of death, violence, rape, torture and frostbite.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Gates of Dawn! Last time, Tristan gathered the Minions for battle, while the wizards decided to cut and run to Shadowood. Oh, and Shailiha told her brother to “trust the process” without bothering to explain what that actually means. Today, we have a big one, as the final battle arrives and we find out if the (long, dull, repetitive) journey has been worth it after all. Joining us once again will be Len and Yhani!
Chapter Fifty-Two
Len: Almost there… *she sighs* And the end can’t come soon enough! Well, we open with Traax reminding Princey that they’re outnumbered, but the Minions will do all they can to prevail, and Sovereigns and Six, what is it with this damned book and its insistence on repeating things everyone already knows! How many times have we been over this by now? We find that Tristan’s on his hatchling and hovering in the sky next to Traax and Ox with all the other Minions holding position around them and, wait, hovering? I don’t think most flying creatures can just hover in place like that for very long – how long have they been up here, anyway? Here, on this bizarre battlefield several thousand feet above the ground, the wind sliced into the exposed skin of Tristan’s face like invisible icicles. Huh; sounds like you probably should have worn a mask, or a scarf, or some sort of facial covering; you knew it was cold and you’d be going up into the air, and I bet the Minions have that sort of gear, considering. ‘Cause if this keeps up, Princey’s probably going to get frostbite. But he’s more worried when he looks down and sees Nicholas’s hatchlings circling below them – they’re not hovering – and there were so many of the enemy that they literally blotted out the earth below them.
Somehow, though, the fact that the enemy “literally blotted out the earth” doesn’t stop Princey from commenting on the local geography. I’m not sure Newcomb knows what “literally” means; or “blotted out,” for that matter. Farplain lived up to its name in every respect. It was a vast, flat barren expanse. Even at the height of the Season of the Sun it contained little more than dry, low-lying grasses with nowhere to hide. Oh, wow, a place called “Farplain” is exactly what it sounds like – coming from the same writer who gave us “the Directorate of Wizards, “the Minions of Day and Night,” and a bunch of gnomes named after how short they are, I’m somehow not surprised. Anyway, he keeps watching as the hatchlings fall into formation and start rising towards them, led by a single hatchling with a rider (oh, I wonder who that could be? Definitely not a certain assassin with a silly name and a penchant for bad poetry…) until they stop, facing the Minions directly in the air. And, wait, do the Minions not have bows (we know they have those silly returning wheels, so they have at least some ranged weapons), or are they just too sporting to use them until the enemy’s in position? The tens of thousands of red, glowing eyes were unnerving, seeming to light up the sky around them. The lead hatchling, whose rider is carrying a white flag on his spear (is Scrounge surrendering already? That was easy!) flies forward, and then we get the ominous declaration that the flag-carrying rider was Scrounge, as if that wasn’t already entirely obvious.
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 125 (one point for Tristan not doing anything to protect his face from the cold, one point for taking an embarrassingly long time to recognize Scrounge, one point for the Minions waiting patiently for the hatchlings to get into formation instead of just shooting at them while they had the advantage of altitude and surprise.)
Yhani: And so, Scrounge, pulling his bird to a stop (Newcomb really is treating these flying creatures as vehicles that can start, stop and hover indefinitely, is he not?) smiles and Tristan looks over his sallow face, lean torso and sunken eyes – Ancestors forbid we not be able to tell who is the villain here at a glance – as well as his weapons, which all bear Ragnar’s poison. Scrounge does not break into poetry – thank the Ancestors! – though he does begin some cliched villainous gloating, musing about how the day has finally come and how the Minions look formidable, though there are fewer of them than he was expecting (and there was a reason for that, was there not, Faegan?). He is surprised to see Tristan is riding one of Nicholas’s hatchlings, though he dismisses the matter as unimportant for you shall die this day anyway. Ah, Scrounge – that Tristan is riding a hatchling is proof that he, or his allies, know how to break the hatchlings’ allegiance to Nicholas and transfer it to themselves. Considering your whole army is made up of these creatures… that could be a rather significant problem. Scrounge is also amused that Tristan is going to battle under the colors of his fallen kingdom (what other colors was Scrounge expecting him to use? Did he think he would just grab the Coven’s flags where they were inexplicably left hanging and use them instead?) and that those colors fared poorly in their last battle (and that, at least, is the truth – though I must remind our assassin that flags alone do not win battles).
Regardless, Scrounge wishes to offer Tristan a deal – if he surrenders now, he will give him a painless death, but if he fights, he and everyone with him will die horribly. Apparently, Scrounge did not want to make this offer, as he really does want to fight Tristan, but he was ordered to by my lord himself, he who is your only son. Which is rather surprising, considering we know that Nicholas wants Tristan alive, and him dying, painlessly or otherwise, is rather counterproductive for that. Tristan tells him that Minion warriors never surrender (something which perhaps might have been left to one of the Minions to say – perhaps some of them do not agree with their lord promising for them to fight to the death, hmmm? – and noticeably does not account for Tristan himself, who is not a Minion). Scrounge grins and admits Nicholas thought he would say that, and so has a second part of his message to deliver. The Gates of Dawn are finished, Chosen One… tomorrow at the break of day, your son shall activate them and the Heretics will return. Your wizards are useless (at least someone has recognized that!). And your fabled stone, the so-called Paragon, is all but without life. Even the Consuls of the Redoubt have turned against you. The world as we know it will soon be forever changed. For the final time, my lord asks that you, the only other being on earth with azure blood, come and take your rightful place at his side, and at the side of those who shall soon descend from the heavens. To do so, my master tells me, is to live forever in the perfect ecstasy of the Vagaries. But refuse him, and you shall die either this day by the sword, or very soon due to the poison that runs through your body. And so, all of those words to say that the situation is exactly as it was the last time Nicholas asked Tristan to join him. How very disappointing.
MG: I’ll just say, the bit about Minions never surrendering makes me think even more that Newcomb may have intended them to be fantasy Spartans. Of course, in real life, the Spartans’ reputation for never surrendering and fighting to the death was based entirely on one battle, Thermopylae, and at other times they were perfectly willing to surrender, so… make of that what you will.
Blood Matters: 191
Exposition Intrusion: 253 (once again, we’re just repeating stuff we all already know)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 126 (seriously, Scrounge, that Tristan has hijacked one of your creatures is kind of important!)
Len: So, Scrounge takes a moment to taunt Princey by asking if he can even still lift his sword arm, and Princey promises he can kill Scrounge with it. He considers throwing a knife at Scrounge’s face but thinks sticking to the strategy he and Traax worked out is more important (except… this army is mostly composed of semi-intelligent magical monsters. I’d say there’s a good chance killing Scrounge, their designated commander, will break their discipline and unity, so… is it really less risky not to try?). He also thinks that Scrounge is fast enough to deflect his knife with a crossbow bolt, and that he did it before – yeah, kid, that sort of trick relies a lot on luck. I wouldn’t count on Scrounge being able to do it twice, and certainly not if you throw a bunch of them at him – but I guess that isn’t where Newcomb wants to take this, so it can’t happen *sigh*. Scrounge then notes Celeste’s scarf on Princey’s arm, and recognizes it; don’t tell me, Chosen One, that you actually have designs on Celeste? …Ragnar will be very pleased to have her back. And I imagine the things he will do to her in punishment for abandoning him will pale in comparison to what she has already suffered. Perhaps I will even be allowed some private time with her… after all, she is quite beautiful. Yeah, well, Ragnar’s dead and I imagine Scrounge is going to be too before long, so at least Celeste doesn’t have that to worry about. But, of, I think I’ve noticed the difference in how Newcomb writes male villains and female villains! Male villains are gross rapists; female villains get to be sexy rapists *gags*. You’re a real class act, Newcomb, you know that?
Well, Princey, for once, speaks for us all, telling Scrounge he’s tired of talk and drawing his dreggan. And when it is over, your guts will be splashed red upon the earth below me. And nothing of value will be lost. Seriously, Scrounge isn’t interesting, he’s not threatening, he’s not cool – he’s just evil and gross and I’m going to be perfectly happy when I don’t have to read about him any more (or read his damned poetry, for that matter). It’s like a metaphor for this whole story – I don’t want it to be over because I want to know how it ends, I want it to be over because I’m damned well sick of it! But Scrounge, gods help us, still isn’t done talking and says he has something to tell Princey about the children… their blood is the mortar that built the Gates of Dawn. And they will be needed further – perhaps forever. Ugh, yes, you’re evil and gross, we get it, just shut up and die already! *she buries her face in her hands* Why are we still doing this? Well, Scrounge and his hatchling wheel around and rejoin their troops, and Princey tells Ox to remember his orders and go do something. Ox doesn’t want to leave him, but Princey doesn’t want to hear it, telling him he needs him. We then learn that Ox is carrying a bugle that once belonged to the Royal Guard, and then he flies up into the clouds and hides there. Why, we don’t know, but Princey turns to Traax and tells him that Scrounge is mine, and mine alone, but if Princey dies first, he wants Traax to be the one to kill Scrounge – just so long as he dies knowing Scrounge is dead too. Honestly, I’d have told any Minion who gets a shot at Scrounge to take it – dead’s dead, and killing the enemy general is worth more than your vanity. But hey, I’m just a grouchy sellsword and he’s the Chosen One, so what do I know really? Traax says it’ll be his honor, and Princey reminds him to retreat and regroup if their plan fails, not to waste time fighting a losing battle (uh, isn’t the world supposed to end if you guys lose? Shouldn’t you figure that into your plans?). Traax promises that he lives to serve, and Princey takes a look around, taking in the sky and thinking he doesn’t fear death anymore, and that he’s already said all his goodbyes. It’d actually be a decent moment, if I gave a damn about any of these people, which I don’t.
Blood Matters: 192
Dastardly Deeds: 109
Gender Wars: 97 (of course we have to reestablish how eeevil Scrounge and Ragnar are – or were, in Ragnar’s case – by reminding the reader that they’re both rapists)
Gratuitous Grimdark: 78
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 127 (seriously, are the Minions supposed to not kill Scrounge if they get a shot at him, just to satisfy Tristan’s ego?)
Yhani: And so, Tristan takes a moment to smell the scent of Celeste’s handkerchief, and then the hatchlings start shrieking their battle cry. They charge, and Tristan cries out Now! For Eutracia! As the Minions fly to meet them. The two forces slam into each other, and Tristan dodges an attack as Ox blows his bugle. Tristan watches as the two forces fight one another, blood, bodies and severed limbs and heads went flying into the cold air, falling in almost slow motion, bathing the ground below in red, what a charming image. Then, in response to Ox’s call, thousands of Minions, almost a full third of Tristan’s forces, come boiling out of the clouds to attack the hatchlings’ unguarded rear. Ah, so, on the one hand, there was an explanation for why there were so few Minions that was not because Faegan got so many of them killed. On the other hand, apparently, they can hover indefinitely – and silently – if the hatchlings never spotted them up there. Tristan watches as nearly twenty-five thousand hatchlings died on the spot, implying that the Minions all made their kills instantly, effortlessly, and without meeting any resistance, which in my experience is not how battles work – the enemy rarely lines themselves up and submits easily to being killed. One might say that is what makes them the enemy. Nonetheless, the mangled bodies of the grotesque birds fell in convoluted postures of instant death. We briefly learn that it was Traax who proposed this strategy – which I can only imagine succeeded beyond his wildest imaginings! – but that the Minions remain outnumbered. With the scattering of the hatchlings’ rear lines, the battle was quickly decaying into individual struggles, each fighter for himself. I will say, in an infantry battle, at least, that should not happen. If an army’s formation breaks that badly, it is because they are routing and therefore usually losing. Then again, I do not know how that would apply to a sky battle where both forces have wings…
Tristan, meanwhile, is looking for Scrounge, and finds him diving on his hatchling towards a Minion whose back is turned (which seems an appropriate tactic for an assassin… but does make me wonder all the more what an assassin is doing commanding an army… or rather, an air force). Scrounge takes off the Minion’s head in one blow (that is actually rather difficult – there is quite a lot of muscle and bone in the neck and striking it off so cleanly usually requires a lot of strength and a heavy blade – stabbing him in the neck would have been better) and turns to do the same to another. Tristan considers attacking Scrounge while his back is turned but decides against it. You shall know it was I who killed you. *she sighs* And, once again, pride trumps practicality. And so instead he charges at Scrounge, screaming his name. Because of course he does. The two men meet in midair, their blades clashing. Scrounge, showing some glimmer of tactical sense, tries to cut Tristan’s saddle off to send him falling to his death, but fails; Tristan, meanwhile, is slowed due to the pain and stiffness of his poisoned arm. Scrounge tries to shoot one of his poisoned bolts at him, but Tristan dodges and Scrounge hits one of his own hatchlings instead, because of course he did. So, Tristan throws a knife, and sure enough, as my Dear Heart suggested Scrounge does not try to shoot it out of the air and just dodges; it misses his heart but hits his shoulder, making him howl in pain. Scrounge tears out the knife but it buys Tristan time to get up in his face and start whaling on him with all his strength. Scrounge tries to shoot him again, misses again, and then manages to get his hatchling to disengage and turns to flee, Tristan in hot pursuit.
Gratuitous Grimdark: 80
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 130
Len: Well, the intense coldness of the wind slammed into Tristan’s face and eyes, blurring his vision so that he could hardly see. *smugly* Told you, you needed something to protect your face! Scrounge dives under the battle and then back up again, trying to hide among the other hatchlings (that’d be easier if any of the others had riders too, you know…). Princey tries to follow but gets intercepted by other hatchlings; after he’s killed them, he comes to the realization that the Minions were losing. Yeah, and that’s… exactly what you expected going into this, right? He thinks that they’re giving ground for the first time in their history and seriously, you know nothing about their history (we know they never fought a serious enemy before invading Eutracia – and that wasn’t much to write home about either – so I’m not sure how great as soldiers they can be, but that’s for another time). He considers sounding a retreat but gets caught up fighting another hatchling as the pain in his arm keeps getting worse. Finally, he kills it using the stupid extending function on his dreggan (still can’t get over how badly that gimmick would weaken the blade and make it easy to break…) and since he can’t spot Ox or Traax decides that he would have to alter the course of battle by himself. And since it’s really, really hard for a general to take control of a battle in-progress, especially if you don’t have magical communications with your officers or the like, you’ve already committed your reserves, and this thing has already devolved into a confused melee… good luck with that. He tries to rally his officers – good luck getting them to hear you over the sound of the wind and the screams of the dying, Princey – but before he can, his hatchling rebelled. What a twist!
The hatchling carries him straight down through the battle, dodging attacks until it gets him to Ox and Traax (who are… conveniently together, I guess?) grimly fighting back-to-back. Well, that’s convenient. Who wants to bet that the “rebelling” hatchling was actually because Shailiha was taking direct control of it? Anyone? So, Princey tries to get their attention, but of course they can’t hear him – see! – and the hatchling carries him away, above the fighting. Then, suddenly, it speaks, telling him to trust the process, Chosen One. Princey’s stunned, thinking he’s hallucinating or having another seizure, but he realizes he’s not and is amazed that the hatchling could speak! Yeah, and having Shailiha hold that knowledge back from him really helped with things, didn’t it, Wigg? It repeats that he should trust the process, leaving Princey utterly mystified as to what process he’s supposed to be trusting. Me too, buddy. Me too. He demands it explain itself, but it stays silent, and then he hears the bugle calls and realizes that Ox and Traax must have understood what he was trying to say to them and have ordered a retreat. The Minions start to obey as the hatchling stays stubbornly in place, and then flies out of Ox and Traax’s way even though Princey wants to speak to them. He realizes with horror that we are in a full-fledged retreat even though that’s… apparently what you were trying to order anyway? Huh? He’s left flying through the sky, wondering what process he’s supposed to trust and unable to command his hatchling, as the scene ends. So okay, clearly Wigg and Faegan have some plan here they’re using Shailiha to carry out, but… I still have no idea how keeping any of that from Princey helped, at all.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 54
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 135
Yhani: And so, we cut to Shailiha, who is standing with her back to Shadowood, facing towards Farplain; her eyes are closed, her hands outstretched, and she can hear nothing but the wind in the trees. All of this, I think, could have been guessed from how she was clearly controlling her brother’s hatchling earlier. Suddenly, she hears a mental alert from Caprice, and announces that Tristan, Traax and Ox are in retreat and heading towards them. Faegan demands to know if it was Caprice who told her (how else would she have known, unless there is a different, as-yet-undiscovered colony of giant butterflies she is in communion with?) and Wigg asks if the enemy are following. When she says they are and will be here in about an hour, he says it is time to make ready. Shailiha can hear strange and foreign-sounding noises as the Minions and gnomes get to work in the forest behind her, and she thinks about how the peace of Shadowood is about to change. We cut back to Tristan, as he realizes his mount is taking him towards Shadowood. He tries to change its direction, but it does nothing and he is too exhausted from battle and poisoning to keep it up, so he just slumps quietly in the saddle. We cut back to Shailiha who announces that they are here. Wigg asks if Faegan is ready, and Faegan hopes that they are, praying may the Afterlife have somehow granted us the wisdom to be right. Well, that would be a miracle indeed – but considering the source of the threat you are facing is, ostensibly, from the Afterlife, I am not sure that is the best prayer to be making in this circumstance…
We cut back to Tristan, who has given up on trying to get his hatchling to change direction as he approaches Shadowood. Suddenly, the hatchling dives and the Minions follow, and Tristan becomes convinced that this is a trick – that the hatchling remains under Nicholas’s control, and means to deliberately crash, killing both Tristan and itself. How could he have been so blind and mistrusting? And what about the Minions? Would they follow him to their deaths…? Alas, we are aware that the true reason is that your sister has been keeping secrets from you for no good reason that I can tell… it is not an enemy plot, merely another testament to the incompetence of your wizards. He tries to wave the Minions off, but then finally makes the connection that this is what “trust the process” means! *beat* Would it have killed Shailiha to offer slightly useful advice instead? He briefly spots Shailiha herself on the ground, along with the wizards, and then the hatchling dives into the canyon (is that the same canyon with the bridge Shannon was guarding in the previous book?). The hatchling races along, and Tristan can see the bottom of the canyon is littered with bones, they were no doubt the result of having gone one step too far in pursuit of the magical place known as Shadowood. And, as I recall, the wizards made that canyon invisible with illusions, so… all of those deaths are on them. Suddenly, behind him, he sees that the entire Minion army is following him (all of them? Did he count them? And how big is this canyon!?); he cannot see if the hatchlings are still pursuing them, and all he can do is hold on.
Gratuitous Grimdark: 81
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 137
Len: Well, we cut back to Wigg, haranguing Faegan about how their timing has to be perfect, to which Faegan says he’s well aware (can we lock these two in a room together somewhere and throw away the key? They deserve each other, and no one else does, so everyone wins, except two wizards I wouldn’t lament being rid of…). Turns out the two of them and Shailiha watched Princey and the Minions dive into the canyon, and now all they can do is wait, while Faegan silently employed the craft to calculate the variables of time. Because clearly, just counting seconds is for poor, stupid unendowed people. *rolls her eyes* Finally, he raises his hand and shoots a bolt of energy – azure, if you hadn’t guessed – into the sky, which is apparently a signal. The Minions who came to Shadowood with them come flying out of the trees, some carrying tools that aren’t weapons, and some carrying gnomes. *nonplussed* Are they going to throw the gnomes at the hatchlings? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure using living people as ammunition is a war crime… Each of the little men… (‘course it was only the men; who ever heard of women fighting to defend their homes, right?) gripped what appeared to be a canvas bag. Oh, so they’re going to sack the hatchlings (literally?). I… think you’re gonna need more gnomes. Faegan signals again, and the Minions who aren’t carrying gnomes unfurl what they are carrying – swamp shrew nets. *beat* Huh. Did… did Newcomb actually set something up to pay off later? I think he did! …I’d be kinda proud of him, if the rest of the book wasn’t so terrible. Anyway, these Minions dive into the canyon too, with Shailiha watching in amazement. Once they’re gone, Faegan nods at her and she raises her arms. *flatly* Oh, I wonder what the woman who can control winged creatures is about to do to the attacking army of winged creatures… I’m on the edge of my seat, here.
We cut back to Princey as his hatchling flies about halfway up the canyon and stops. Traax is able to catch up and ask why they’re stopping, and if this means they’re going to turn back around and fight like warriors (uh, you already tried that… wasn’t working). Princey just tells them to get ready, since this is no time for explanations (seriously, it seems like in this book every time is a time for explanations, and I got sick of it a long time ago!) But before they can attack, the other Minions show up and drop on the hatchlings from behind and start catching them in nets. Uh… are there nearly enough of them for that? Tristan’s Minions fly over to help, and then they start dragging the captured hatchlings down to the floor of the canyon. Tristan watched, dumbfounded. Yeah, me too. Still not sure what the point of keeping this a secret was, or how the small number of Minions the wizards took with them are nearly enough to make a dent in how many hatchlings there’re supposed to be. Once they’re on the ground, the gnomes start pounding stakes in to secure the nets. Finally, Princey realizes that his sister and the wizards set this up and draws his sword to go look for Scrounge. Before he spots him, his hatchling suddenly shoots up into the air and flies off; he realizes where he’s going and falls asleep in the saddle. Yay. We cut back to Shailiha watching her brother go and asking if he’ll live, and Wigg says they’ve been lucky so far, but this isn’t something he can control. I must tell you from my heart that there is no way for him to survive. What we do now is simply to give him an additional sense of closure in his life, nothing more. Yeah, and supposedly save the world from a bunch of evil undead demigods – remember them? And if you really believe that Princey’s gonna die here – I’ll more than match whatever you’ll wager. Wigg says that soon Princey’s final seizure will hit, and there’s nothing they can do to stop that, or Nicholas – he guesses the Confluence will be tomorrow. Shailiha wants to go with Princey, but Faegan says he has to do this alone. *rolling her eyes* Because Sovereigns forbid a woman get to do anything interesting around here. Did she do anything to the rest of the hatchlings with her oh-so-special powers, by the way? Caprice comes over to land on Shailiha’s head, and she thinks to herself Good-bye, my brother. I shall always love you as the chapter comes to an end.
MG: But we’re going to go ahead and do one more chapter today, as well! Normally I wouldn’t do two this long together, but since they’re both halves of the climax, I think this makes the most sense. Also, for the curious, in light of this chapter’s events, I highly recommend this series of blog posts on pre-modern generalship. Let’s just say Tristan’s no Julius Caesar and leave it at that.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 55 (how on earth did Wigg and Faegan assemble enough nets, enough Minions, and enough gnomes to neutralize that giant hatchling army?)
Gender Wars: 98 (of course Tristan gets to go fly off and fight the bad guys, while Shailiha stays behind and angsts)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 142
Chapter Fifty-Three
Yhani: And so, we open with Tristan, still riding his hatchling; we are told that he has nodded off several times but is in too much pain from the poison to get any real rest. The sky has cleared, and Amidst uncountable stars, Eutracia’s three rose-colored moons hung against the inky, impenetrable night. I would remind you that they are the whole world’s moons, not merely Eutracia’s… but I fear at this point, it would fall on deaf ears. He thinks that it can be only a few hours until dawn. Tristan tries to pull his coat tighter around himself against the cold, to no avail as he could no longer feel his hands or feet. *flatly* I think my Dear Heart was right – you were not prepared for this mission! Nonetheless, he knows that there is only one place the hatchling can be taking him – the site protecting the Gates of Dawn. For that was where Nicholas would be. Tristan can feel himself weakening and feels that he will soon die – including mentally reminding himself of the existence of the brain hook and to use it before his final seizure strikes - and, alas, I believe it no more than my Dear Heart does. As he flies, he thinks back to the events of the first book, including the attack on Eutracia and his ultimate rescue of Shailiha, but realizes that this time, there will be no happy ending. Everyone and everything he had ever held dear would soon perish. The Vagaries… would rule. Not only alone, but also forever, guided by the Guild of the Heretics, who would ensure that a new age of darkness reigned. My, my, you are laying this on quite thick, are you not, Newcomb? But considering that, again, there are four more books of this to go… I do not think you are fooling anyone.
Tristan thinks to himself that Shailiha and the wizards are not sending him to the Gates to stop the Confluence, or to survive. Nothing could stop those things now. Need I remind you of my previous comment? Rather, it was because they knew he would want to confront his son for the final time. Which is… generous of them, I suppose? Tristan thinks about how he has already said his goodbyes, and he thinks dying in bed in the palace or the Recluse would only make the pain worse. He was glad they would not be there to see his death. He wanted their memories of him to be of the strong man he had once been. On the one hand, I do understand – I think – what Newcomb is going for here, but on the other, that specific wording makes it sound strangely like Tristan wants to die alone for the sake of vanity. How odd. And this way, he at least thinks he will be able to see his son one final time, no matter what kind of monster he had become. Which would have been more impactful if you had made any real effort to reach out to or redeem Nicholas after you learned he was alive… Fighting off the pain, he thinks about how he can find some measure of peace before he dies by confronting Nicholas one last time, and that Faegan and Wigg must have known it too. Assuming he doesn’t have his final seizure now and fall off his hatchling en route, that is. Scrounge would no doubt have been amused, he thought. No, I think he would have felt cheated because he wanted to kill you personally. Where is Scrounge, by the way? I do not believe he was confirmed among the casualties of the battle…
Contrivances and Coincidences: 58 (Newcomb is really going all in on trying to convince us everyone is doomed, and this seems the best place to put it)
Exposition Intrusion: 257 (apparently, Tristan is using the fact of being near death to reflect on literally every topic of importance to him…)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 144
Len: Well, Princey finally manages to get comfortable enough to get some real sleep; he wakes up when the sun’s first light hits him, to find he’s literally frozen to his hatchling. *beat* What the hells, Princey? Did none of these people make any sort of winter and sky preparations at all? *she sighs* ‘Course they didn’t. He manages to tear himself off, leaving part of his coat behind, and oh, his hair and eyebrows are frozen too, and his right hand doesn’t even feel like a hand anymore. I’ll remind you his twin sister sent him into this, by the way. *facepalm* Looking down, he sees the Gates of Dawn below him; they resembled gigantic horseshoes, curved at the tops, their ends planted firmly in the earth. They’re made of black marble, but shot through with blue, and he realizes that must be the blood of the Heretics. As the hatchling descends, he can see the carrion scarabs around the gates undulating back and forth in a black, riverlike mass *she shudders visibly* surrounding the tattered remains of the undead Consuls’ bodies. Nicholas himself is standing by the Gates; the young adept faced the rising sun, his white robes billowing in the wind, his long, dark hair flying out behind him. He seemed oblivious to the cold. Well, at least someone around here is. The hatchling lands, and the partially frozen Princey manages to dismount, with some effort (seriously, was everyone just thinking “this guy is a dead man walking, who cares if he suffers?” ‘Cause that’s what it seems like, and damn). He falls on all fours, staggers to his feet, and turns to face Nicholas, who’s been watching but not doing anything to help.
So Princey takes a moment to stare silently into Nicholas’s upturned, exotic eyes – seriously, stop objectifying your own son! – and thinks that they’re Succiu’s eyes… and mine. All around, he can feel Nicholas radiating an energy beyond anything Succiu or Failee could’ve managed…
MG: *muttering* I will not make an over 9000 joke… I will not make an over 9000 joke…
Len: *nonplused* Huh. Princey wonders if this means Nicholas holds all the power of the Paragon now (maybe if those damned wizards had gotten around to training you, you could tell that for yourself…) and he sadly looks at Celeste’s handkerchief as he wonders if she and the wizards are dead now. It takes all his strength to stay upright as he thinks about how nothing can stop (Nicholas) now – oh, I’m sure something can, and knowing Newcomb, I’m sure it’ll be underwhelming. The two of them just stand there staring silently at each other for a while now as Princey thinks that the world was about to change forever, and Tristan knew there was absolutely nothing he could do to prevent it. *rolling her eyes* Yeah, well, we’ll see. Finally, Nicholas speaks, noting that Princey has returned, and you have chosen to become one of us after all. I am very pleased. He then takes the antidote to the blood stalker venom out of his robes and says that if Princey agrees to join them and allows Nicholas to magically confirm he’s telling the truth, he’ll give it to him. Princey stares for a while, thinking that the antidote can save his life, but at what price? Uh, the end of the world? You know damned well what price; we’ve spent half the book yammering about it! Finally, though, he says he rejects Nicholas’s offer. To bargain for my life is not why I have come. As if there was ever any doubt.
Blood Matters: 193
Gratuitous Grimdark: 82
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 146
Yhani: Nicholas, clearly angry, demands to know why Tristan has come, then. Do not tell me that it is simply so that I may see you die? My poor, misguided father! If that is true then you misunderstand, and have therefore traveled all this way for naught. I have no need to see your death actually occur, simply to know that it soon shall. Just as I have no need to see the sun rise tomorrow, in order to know that such a thing shall occur. Ah, but unless you have some magical way of knowing exactly when Tristan dies, perhaps it is for the best to witness the event, merely to be safe? Tristan says that he has come to ask Nicholas to stop this. He asks him to come back to Shadowood. Allow my wizards to try and help you… to bring you to the Vigors and the light. I beseech you to release the power of the stone back to the Paragon, so that we all might work together to find a way… my son… I beg of you… On the one hand, this is Tristan making a genuine effort to reach out to his son before he dies… on the other hand, I fear it may be, as the humans say, too little, too late, and Nicholas seems to agree. You beg of me? …you of the azure blood, the Chosen One himself, who rejected his only son not once, but three times? The son you ripped from the comfort of the womb with the very knives you now carry, leaving him to rot in a foreign land? Then only to reject out of hand his compassionate offer of truly everlasting ecstasy in the craft, so graciously made to him that day in the Caves? And finally to reject his own seed yet again, at this exact moment… to insult that son’s vastly superior power and knowledge of the craft by suggesting that it could be augmented by his powerless, vastly inferior wizards! And to ask his son… to practice the deceitful, flaccid Vigors? …to therefore spurn the very ones who gave me life, returning me to the land of the living? …what you suggest for me is slavery, nothing more. Hmm; while this is clearly meant to establish that Nicholas is beyond saving… I have to agree with his assessment of the wizards (though his use of the word flaccid to describe the Vigors has certain… implications). Nicholas ends by telling Tristan he would have done better to allow Wigg to burn his body when he had the chance… and to be fair, that I cannot disagree with.
And so, Nicholas declares that Tristan has clearly not been listening (does he ever?) and then raises his white, perfect palm (Tristan, that is a… curious way to describe your son’s hand…) and causes Tristan to collapse in agony. He tries to pull out the brain hook but is in too much pain to reach it and can do nothing but silently beg his son to stop. Finally, he manages to say that all of your hatchlings are dead… and so is Scrounge, both of which are statements I would not feel nearly as confident about, in Tristan’s place. Nicholas admits it does not matter – he is mildly interested in how it was done (as am I, as I am quite certain the method described would not actually work…), but otherwise, they existed only to buy him time, which they did. All Tristan did was spare Nicholas the need to kill them himself. Neither the hatchlings, nor Scrounge, nor your Minions are worthy of any place in our new world. Not even Ragnar, for that matter. He too has gone to his reward. He further adds that even the scarabs will be destroyed, and the wraiths which bled Tristan have already been dismissed. Because of course, Nicholas is evil, and therefore must treat all of his servants as disposable!
Blood Matters: 194
Dastardly Deeds: 114
Exposition Intrusion: 260
Gratuitous Grimdark: 83
Len: Princey then asks – still barely able to talk through the pain, I’ll add – about the children Nicholas kidnapped. Why must they live with you… forever? Uh, ‘cause Nicholas and/or the Heretics want to indoctrinate the next generation of magic-users? That’s not hard. But Nicholas just calls them one of the greatest keys to all that has transpired and tells Princey he should have gone to Fledgling House long ago and collected the children there himself (well maybe he would have if someone had told him about them, Wigg). And indeed, Nicholas says that if Wigg hadn’t been so protective of his silly secret of the training of young females in the craft, Princey could’ve stopped him long ago. *she sighs* And so now even the bad guy’s admitting everything is Wigg’s fault. Nicholas goes on to say that if he just needed the kids’ blood, he’d have collected it and then given them back, which is… weirdly kind of considerate of him, if blood sacrifice ever counts as “considerate.” His real reason has to do with an ancient underlying concept regarding young endowed females that even your wizards are not completely conversant with, and I’ve got no idea what he’s on about it, but it creeps me out. Nicholas then comments that this is a topic for another day – except that Princey doesn’t have any more days left. Princey, still in pain, asks him about the Consuls, and damn, even dying doesn’t stop these people from holding long, boring expository conversations, does it? Nicholas just says they’re alive, safe, and waiting for the Confluence, which is about what I’d expect.
Well, for some reason that specifically inspires Princey to haul himself up and tell Nicholas that I refuse to believe that my seed could have vomited forth upon the world something so evil as the being that now stands before me… even though you were the product of rape and forcibly taken before your time from the womb of a sorceress. *bemused* So, what, does Princey somehow think that being the product of rape and cut prematurely from Succiu’s womb would make Nicholas evil, but not as evil as he’s been acting? That’s… weird, and mostly just gross, and I hate it. Also, I’m pretty sure the Heretics are the ones to blame for how Nicholas turned out; they’re the ones who took the kid, resurrected him, and turned him into what he is, after all. I mean, I don’t think even Succiu wanted this. Having said his piece, Princey collapses again, and Nicholas just tells him that history is written by the victors (eh, it’s more that history is written by the survivors, I’d say) and their history will be written as the story of how Tristan failed. He then takes a moment to note that he senses the influence of another’s endowed blood in the hatchling, but decides it doesn’t matter (seriously, first Scrounge and now Nicholas – these people seem really unconcerned by the fact that their creatures are vulnerable to being subverted like that!) and blasts it with a bolt of light (azure, of course!) so that it explodes into a rain of leather and offal, gross. And I guess that’s it for the hatchling, then. I might’ve cared more if you had an actual personality, and ever said anything other than “trust the process.” And I guess if Princey wants to fly into battle in the future, he will have to catch a ride with Ox or Traax, oh my!
Blood Matters: 196
Dastardly Deeds: 116
Exposition Intrusion: 265
Gender Wars: 99
Gratuitous Grimdark: 84
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 148
Yhani: And so, Nicholas announces that now I have a great mission to complete and turns back to the Gates; he tells Tristan he is leaving him to die, but since he is young and strong, he might live long enough to see the Heretics return (except that Tristan is also badly poisoned, exhausted and likely frostbitten, which would not help his odds…). Tristan looks out over Eutracia and wonders how he can kill himself without using the brain hook. He considers rolling off into the swarm of scarabs, hoping the fall will kill him rather than the beetles, though he thinks that either way the pain would stop. Nicholas, meanwhile, is ignoring him – I would think that the villain ignoring the “hero” just before his moment of triumph would be a mistake, but this is Newcomb, so I am not expecting too much – and has arranged three silver goblets in front of himself, which Tristan knows must contain the fluids required for the Confluence. One will contain the blood of the children, one the waters of the Caves, and one Tristan’s own blood. The last ingredient, the Heretics’ blood, is held within the Gates themselves. These seemingly disparate elements would allow Nicholas to separate the heavens, bringing forth the Guild of the Heretics. And indeed, Nicholas begins the ritual by closing his eyes and bowing towards the sun. The goblet containing the waters rises and spills its contents into the air, where it forms into a flat sheet hovering before Nicholas; the goblet containing the children’s blood then does the same, as does the one with Tristan’s blood.
Tristan is left remembering what Faegan told him about the ritual; Nicholas will need to mix the liquids together next, and then somehow use them to activate the Gates and summon the spirits of the Heretics, who will regain their bodies as they pass through and are reunited with their blood. *she makes a disgusted noise* Once again, I believe that the Blood of Vol heretics, who believe that the essence of divinity itself is locked in mortal blood, waiting to be released, perform rituals less focused on blood than this! But once the Heretics return, with the Ones gone, this time there will be no one to fight them. Nicholas gestures again, and the sheets of blood and water rise into the air and form into a square, which then begins to spin, their colors combining to form a solid cube of amazingly beautiful amethyst, glistening brightly against the almost-risen dawn. Not azure, for once? Why, Newcomb – I did not know you had it in you! The cube then begins to grow until it almost blots out the sky, while Tristan shudders at the terrible sound it makes as it continues to spin faster and faster. Finally, it stops, and it started to drip. Considering it is made of liquid magically held in that shape – is that really so surprising? The drips land on the ground near Tristan, and then start to form together, gathering more of its own glowing matter to itself. Then it began to slither across the smooth, black-and-azure marble in many directions at once. Well, that is disconcerting! Of course, endowed blood does something like that on its own, apparently – how does it feel to have something like that inside you, o prince?
Blood Matters: 201
Exposition Intrusion: 268
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 149
Len: The fluid starts to slither up and around the gates, and as it does it covers Princey in the process too; Tristan’s body was soon awash in its warm, almost comforting slickness, and he could do nothing but let it cover him. *looking faintly disgusted* That sound kinda dirty to anyone else? ‘Cause it does to me… Nicholas keeps directing the stuff until it’s covered the entire first Gate, and then it starts jumping over to the other two Gates, until all three are covered. It has begun, Tristan thought. Kid, I know you’re probably delirious, but if you mean the ritual – it started a while ago, when Nicholas took out those goblets. Try to keep up. Nicholas floats into the air, crosses his legs and starts chanting; Princey’s pretty sure the language is Old Eutracian, since it sounds a lot like something he’s heard Faegan read. That’s… nice, I guess? Maybe it would be more meaningful if there were any languages in these books that weren’t Eutracian, old or otherwise. The Gates start glowing – Newcomb doesn’t say what color, for once – and then they start shooting lightning into the sky, followed by crashing thunder. *rolling her eyes* Oooh, an evil ritual that causes lightning. Very original. And sure enough, the lightning summons storm clouds, which blot out the sky, and then Nicholas – who’s breathing heavily as if he were struggling mightily with something, and at least Newcomb didn’t have him panting in ecstasy or something – raises his hand and the lightning stops. The three Gates of Dawn glowed spectacularly, silently, in the overwhelming darkness. Princey thinks that with the Gates prepared, Nicholas is about to summon the full power of the Paragon. For the first time, a single being is about to summon the entire dynamism of the stone. Okay, look, I know this is supposed to be ominous and all, but seriously – dynamism? I know you’ve used it before, but Newcomb, is that really the best word you could think of?
Nicholas waits for a bit and then spreads his arms, and a single, giant bolt of lightning flew from the apex of the Gate up towards the heavens… it persisted in the darkness of the sky, hanging motionless, the ends of its forked fingers lost in the gloom. Huh, okay, credit where it’s due, that’s a genuinely creepy image. And then Princey realizes that it was parting the darkness of the heavens. The clouds part, and rays of soft, azure light (ha, I knew Newcomb wouldn’t be able to resist forever!) shine through. For a while there’s silence, and then a horrific chorus of human voices came down through the opening in the sky. On and on it came, the many voices shrieking, crying, wailing and moaning all at once. Well, doesn’t that just figure – you go to all the trouble to summon an ancient evil, and all they want to do is yell incoherently at you! Guess omnipotence isn’t what it makes out, huh? Princey manages to cover his ears, thinking to himself that the Guild of the Heretics, the ancient masters of the Vagaries, are about to reclaim the Earth. And then Nicholas helpfully(?) announces that my parents of above finally return to the earth, as if we and Princey didn’t already know that. And then, this happens. Faces had begun to develop. Huge human faces, thousands of them, men and women alike, were being illuminated from behind by a celestial source of light such as the prince had never seen. Their eyes were exquisitely sad, their mouths calling out beseechingly to Nicholas. The faces soared and turned in the heavens just beyond the edges of the great opening, as if waiting for something. The wailing coming from their open mouths became even louder. Well, that’s… different. And there are thousands of Heretics? Huh, I was thinking maybe, a few dozen at most, and probably less than that; wouldn’t have thought those types would want to share power.
MG: And, needless to say, in light of later retcons in the series, this sequence makes no damned sense whatsoever. Because remember, the Heretics turn out to be an empire of very much alive magic Romans on the other side of the planet, to whom Eutracia is a backwater they couldn’t care less about. Try to reconcile that with this sequence; I dare you.
Len: Dammit, Newcomb!
Blood Matters: 203
Contrivances and Coincidences: 59 (Tristan, I know you’re in terrible pain, but are you even going to think about trying to do something about this, even if you can’t actually do it?)
Exposition Intrusion: 270
Yhani: Tristan watches all of this and does not act, instead thinking to himself that there is no force that can stop him. Considering how close we are to the end of the book, I somehow doubt that – unless Nicholas is going to succeed in summoning the Heretics and the rest of the series is about resisting their rule, but I do not think Newcomb is likely to commit to that. Nicholas’s glow suddenly increases wondrously – not the word I would have used! – and the wailing, beseeching faces of the Heretics crowd closer, and then… Nicholas screamed. As if gripped by some horrific, unexplained agony, he covered his eyes with his hands. *blinking in shock* I… beg your pardon? Tristan did not do anything! Nobody did anything! What is happening here? But the Heretics do not descend further, their wailing growing louder, as Nicholas removes his hands from his face and screams even louder, a helpless, agonizing sound that tore through the heavens… Nicholas was bleeding from every orifice. From his eyes, ears, nose, mouth and groin poured shimmering, azure blood. *blinks some more* By my Ancestors, that is horrifying. And… does this mean that the villain is somehow killing himself, without Tristan having to lift a finger? That seems… remarkably convenient, and yet I cannot think of what else could be happening! Still screaming, Nicholas falls from the sky, lying beside his father. The adept looked pleadingly into Tristan’s face. And then his eyes, the eyes so reminiscent of Succiu, slowly closed, and the aura that had always surrounded his being slowly faded into nothingness. *stunned* And that, as they say, is that. It was not how I expected it to go, to be sure! I expected some manner of… confrontation, but instead the villain simply… died of his own accord on the cusp of his victory? Perhaps even now, I still overestimate Newcomb!
And indeed, looking up at the sky, Tristan sees the Heretics’ faces receding. The great rent in the skies eventually closed; the faces of the Heretics disappeared. And those are our grand villains for this whole… saga? Consider me underwhelmed! The darkness and thunder remain, however, and Tristan realizes that while the spell Nicholas was torturing him with has ended, the poison is still in his veins. He starts stumbling towards Nicholas’s body, desperate to reach the antidote, but just as he began the next step, the Gates of Dawn shuddered. *arching an eyebrow* Ah. Is this the part where, with the villain dead, their fortress – or gates, in this case – must conveniently collapse? Indeed, the Gates begin to crack and smoke, and the ground around them shakes, causing Tristan to collapse. The ground cracks open between him and Nicholas, a distance he could not jump even if healthy. He tries to force himself to go around, but he suddenly collapses against the Gate, foaming at the mouth, as his final seizure hits. Knowing he will not reach the antidote, he fumbles for the brain hook, but just as he pulls it out, the Gates begin to collapse. The tops of the second and third Gates cracked open entirely, their marble blocks crashing to the earth. With an agonizing, torturous sound, the Gate he and Nicholas were on shook again, and the cracks in its top split open from end to end. *yawn* I would be far more engrossed in this if I was not absolutely certain Tristan would survive. Tristan raises the brain hook but can already feel himself choking. He takes a final glance at his medallion and Celeste’s handkerchief, raises the hook to his ear, and the chapter ends as he can hear a voice taunting him. Die, Chosen One! …Die, Chosen One! …Die! …Die! …Die! *she sighs* Well, I suppose we have proof that Tristan’s hallucinatory voices are as lacking in imagination as the rest of him?
Len: *dazed, and putting an arm around Yhani’s shoulder* Is… is that really it? I mean, my expectations for Newcomb were low to begin with, but… damn, even the climax of Fifth Sorceress was better than that. At least there, Princey did something to help kill the bad guys, even if it wasn’t much. This… I don’t even know what in Khyber this is supposed to be. *she looks at mg pleadingly* Are we free to go?
MG: You are free to go! *Len and Yhani vanish happily* As for the rest of us… yeah. This climax was terrible, and also inexplicable. First off, we have the final battle. I don’t get how that even worked. We’re repeatedly told that the hatchlings, even after the losses they’d suffered, were a huge horde that massively outnumbered the Minions. And yet a few more Minions with nets (and gnomes!) were somehow able to catch all of them? I mean, even assuming each net could hold a bunch of hatchlings (and I’m sure they could; the nets were for swamp shrews, and the shrews are much, much bigger than the hatchlings) I still don’t see how that could be enough – and that’s assuming that each Minion was able to net a bunch of hatchlings all at once with no losses and no hatchlings getting out of the way, which seems improbable! And no, I don’t think Shailiha used her powers to do anything to make the hatchlings immobilized or easier to catch. In fact, all our protagonists were ultimately pretty useless here. Tristan, after his aerial duel with Scrounge, spent most of the rest of the battle just being carried around by his hatchling, contributing nothing. We will eventually get an explanation for why he was kept in the dark about the big plan, but IMO it really doesn’t justify it and it just feels like Newcomb was setting up some contrived, artificial tension for the hell of it. Shailiha was in control of that particular hatchling, but otherwise did nothing (like, say, using her powers on any of the other hatchlings…). The wizards… stood, watched, and barked orders. Ox and Traax killed some hatchlings. But the real victors… were the nameless Minions and gnomes with nets. Huh. That’s sure… a choice.
The second, real climax if anything was worse. Tristan literally just shows up, chats with Nicholas a bit, they confirm they hate each other, Nicholas starts the ritual and summons the Heretics, suddenly drops dead of his own accord without anything Tristan did being responsible, and the Heretics vanish again. Seriously, I think this may be the most sudden, inexplicable, and anticlimactic villain death in anything I’ve ever seen or read – even Greenwood is usually better than this. Ed. Freaking. Greenwood! I mean, I’ve seen people complain about Raiders of the Lost Ark that in the end, Indiana Jones doesn’t have to do anything to defeat the Nazis, the Ark does it for him – but at least that movie had already clearly established that the Ark is dangerous and shouldn’t be messed with lightly (and if you’re familiar with the Biblical lore on the subject of the Ark of the Covenant… you know that’s absolutely true). Nothing like that happened here; there was no buildup or foreshadowing or explanation, Nicholas just… dropped dead all on his own, without Tristan having to lift a finger. Seriously, the first thing that comes to mind for comparison is this video, which… probably isn’t where you want your readers’ minds going for your super-edgy dark fantasy:
We will get an explanation next time, conveniently after the fact, but to say it doesn’t help and wasn’t foreshadowed at all is an understatement. Even the big bad Heretics just showed up, were spooky, screamed incoherently a bit, and then vanished again, accomplishing nothing. Sporking this, I can really see why Newcomb decided later on that the only way to remotely preserve their threat was to retcon them into being something completely different and mostly sweep the events of this book under the rug. In any case, that’s it for the “climactic” chapters of The Gates of Dawn; we’ve still got three more posts to go, according to my schedule, including the final thoughts, but we’re almost there! Next time, we learn Tristan’s fate (spoilers, he’s not dead) and Wigg and Faegan explain it all, again. We’ll see you then! For now, our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 206
Contrivances and Coincidences: 65 (for, uh, everything about Nicholas’s fate and the aftermath)
Dastardly Deeds: 116
Exposition Intrusion: 270
Gender Wars: 98
Gratuitous Grimdark: 88
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 150