The Scrolls of the Ancients: Chapter Ten
Dec. 23rd, 2024 08:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
masterghandalfThis is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Scrolls of the Ancients! Last time, Wigg nearly got himself and Celeste eaten by bears because of his own stupidity. Meanwhile, Tristan and company spied on Krassus’ slaving operation, were found out, Shailiha demonstrated hitherto unsuspected combat prowess, and the worst luck in the world led to Tristan’s capture. Today, it’s time for Wigg to have his long-awaited(?) reunion with Abbey the partial adept, as we bring the first Part of this book to a close. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Irinali!
Chapter Ten
Tahiri: …I know it’s not very Jedi-like of me but doing this and a certain other project of MG’s (coming soon to a sporking comm near you!) I feel like I might have earned a little bit of compensation? Maybe a trophy? Anyway, we open with Abbey walking through the woods near her cottage in the middle of the night, and considering just what book this is, it’s kind of distractingly twee.
The light of day was gone, and the stars had come out. Moonlit shadows created by the yellow-and-turquoise-leaved chirithium trees slowly lengthened out over the waving grasses, blossoms, and herbs she walked through on her way home. Carried by the wind, light, fluffy clouds danced to and fro in the night sky, as if struggling to escape their banishment into the darkness. The blooming fragrances of the Season of New Life swirled everywhere about her.
Irinali: I like flowers perfectly fine *she notices Tahiri’s incredulous look* - what, they often have very interesting alchemical properties! – but you don’t have to be so cloying about describing it! Apparently, Abbey has been out in the woods today foraging for ingredients and is pleased with her take, and fantasizes about having some tea when she gets home. Her mind drifts back to her recent intruders; she didn’t recognize Grizelda, save that she’s sure the other woman was also an herbmistress and therefore a partial adept – which is apparently surprising itself, since her kind aren’t many and tend to stay in contact with each other. She finds it even more surprising that Grizelda was traveling with a wizard, since the wizards banished the partial adepts long ago – and once again, she feels the need to specify they banished both male and female adepts, as if that’s the important thing.
Gender Wars: 13
Tahiri: I’m wondering why they’re so few. Do wizards just not marry normal people often (wouldn’t surprise me, in this awful place…) or do most partial adepts just never get any training, and it’s those who are trained who are rare? Not sure I like the implications either way. Suddenly, Abbey’s cottage comes into sight… and she sees that there’s smoke coming from the chimney, so someone’s inside and has lit a fire. Great, guess Wigg just walked right in and made himself at home, huh? Abbey debates with herself what to do, and finally decides to sneak around the cottage from behind and pokes her head up to peer in through a window.
A young, beautiful woman with brilliant red hair was lying on Abbey’s bed. Her eyes were closed; her face was very pale. The staggered rising and falling of the thin blanket that covered the woman told the experienced herbmistress that the stranger was having great difficulty breathing. A man’s hand, with long, elegant fingers, rested flat on the woman’s forehead. Abbey could not see the rest of him.
Irinali: Why do we keep having to have it pointed out to us that Wigg’s fingers are elegant? Abbey makes her way back around to the front of the house and walks in; and when she sees the man’s face and recognizes him, of course it’s such a shock she drops her basket of ingredients on the floor. “Hello, Abbey,” the man said gently. “It’s been a long time. Please pardon my intrusion, but I very much need your help.” And we can tell how much Wigg needs help, because he’s actually bothering to be polite and not just demanding it. Abbey is choking in shock – an understandable reaction to suddenly meeting Wigg – and she stumbles over to a chair and sits down before finally managing to speak, asking who Celeste is and what Wigg is doing here.
Tahiri: Wigg doesn’t answer; instead, he just levitates all of Abbey’s spilled ingredients back into her basket, and then the basket up onto the table. From anyone else I’d think he was trying to be helpful… but since it’s Wigg, I’m just going to call it showing off. Finally, he speaks.
“Her name is Celeste,” he answered softly. “She is of endowed blood, and has been adversely affected by the craft. In all my years I have seen this phenomenon occur only one other time—quite recently, in fact—to another woman who means just as much to me. The other woman, however, managed its effects much more handily. I cannot be sure, but I think it was because of the greater strength of her blood. In any event, this woman needs our help. I have been unable to awaken her by myself, and I fear that if she does not return to consciousness soon, I may lose her for all time. Will you help me?” The wizard’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
Blood Matters: 58
Tahiri: I’ll notice you avoided admitting Celeste was your daughter. Sleemo. But Abbey at least seems to have enough professional ethics to want to help; she gets up and examines Celeste before declaring she’s stable, but in a bad way, and her mind is buried deep. *quietly* That happened to me once. I spend days locked inside my own head, fighting my own demons. A friend helped lead me out of the shadows and into the person I am now… but all Celeste has is Wigg. *beat* She’s doomed, isn’t she? Abbey says she’ll do what she can – but she’s doing it for Celeste, not for Wigg. *beat* Finally, a character in this I can get behind! Do you think Abbey would mind if I hugged her?
Irinali: *eyeing her with distaste* I’ll settle for a professional handshake if you don’t mind. I don’t… do… sentiment. Wigg at least has the speck of decency to thank Abbey and admit he can’t blame her for that attitude, but before they do anything more, Abbey wants to know who Celeste really is. Meanwhile, the fire is dying so Wigg causes it to flare back up with magic. Abbey sighed. “I had almost forgotten how much easier life can be for certain trained males,” she commented as she began to prepare some tea. One corner of Wigg’s mouth came up: He could hardly disagree. Considering Wigg is the reason why life is only easier in that way for “certain trained males…” forgive me if I consider his amusement to be little better than gloating. And there is a time and place; this is neither.
Blood Matters: 59
Gender Wars: 14
Tahiri: Splash the tea in his smug face, Abbey; we know you want to. Abbey repeats her question, and Wigg finally admits Celeste is his daughter. Abbey is stunned and asks if Wigg finally remarried (honestly, if someone told me he’s sired a bunch of bastards over the centuries, I would not be surprised); Wigg explains he hasn’t, that Failee was pregnant when she left him and that Celeste is under time enchantments and over three hundred years old (so you can stop treating her like a child any time now…). Wigg says it would take a very long time to explain everything; Abbey says they’re both under the time enchantments, so they have time. Gah, don’t ask for the exposition – don’t you know what you’re getting into? People say I talk too much, but I don’t have anything on this old windbag. And I like to think the things I have to say are more interesting. And you may have time, but does Celeste have time?
Exposition Intrusion: 45
Irinali: Fortunately, Newcomb just summarizes it for us as Wigg goes over the events of the past two books – the Paragon, the Tome, the twins, the Coven’s invasion (wait, Abbey lives in Eutracia, she should have known about that! Or maybe she just never realized who the Minions were working for; sure, they flew the Pentagram flags, but lots of people can fly flags) and their defeat, Nicholas and the Gates of Dawn, and so on and so forth. Abbey apparently keeps listening as he drones on and on about blood signatures, and Newcomb recaps what they are, how they affect the blood, what they look like in blood signatures, and so on. And, finally, how Forestallments gave Shailiha and now Celeste unusual abilities. Abbey gets very interested in this, asking for Wigg to describe the bolts of energy Celeste summoned against the bears. “Yes,” Wigg answered. “Her bolts were the most powerful I have ever seen; they literally ripped the creature apart. Then she collapsed. And now . . .” He paused, one eyebrow rising, “I think I know why.” Abbey asks him to explain, and so Wigg sets off. Again. Keeper damn you all.
Blood Matters: 61
Exposition Intrusion: 50
“You just said it yourself,” he replied. “Her first use of a Forestallment came quickly, immediately after its activation, so her blood had no time to adjust to its new state. No doubt it was Failee’s intention to activate Celeste’s gifts one by one, and train her in their use gradually, in a controlled environment. But given the desperate situation, Celeste acted instinctively. This proved to be too much for her untrained blood, and plunged her into this deep, twilight state.” He turned sadly, looking back over at the bed. “There is another wizard with me at the palace. His name is Faegan. He would have been able to help, for he is also an herbalist. But your cottage was much closer.”
Tahiri: *rolling her eyes* Oh, I’m sure Abbey was just thrilled to hear that she was your second choice, and you’d have gone to Faegan first if you could have. Anyway, Abbey wants to know why they were here in the first place, and Wigg admits they were coming to see her on a different matter. Abbey notes that Wigg seems to be needing a lot of help lately. “Tell me,” she said sternly, “after more than three hundred years of surviving without my services, how is it that the lofty nation of Eutracia suddenly needs one of those who was so summarily banished?” You… you are awesome. How did Newcomb create you?
MG: I suspect that, like with the sexism, someone told him he needed to have someone call Wigg out for… everything. And also like with walking back the sexism, I strongly suspect his heart wasn’t really in it. But we’ll talk more about that later.
Blood Maters: 63
Exposition Intrusion: 53
Tahiri: Well, Wigg sits silently for a while, trying to figure out how to respond to that (which is telling) and then finally he looks around and tells Abbey he didn’t remember her being such a poor housekeeper. *facepalms* You… have no tact at all, do you? But Wigg notes that the mess isn’t like Abbey, and guesses that Krassus was here, and had a partial adept of his own with him (which… he’d already guessed earlier from what Krassus said, but I guess he had to be rude about it). They took much from you, didn’t they? Not the least of which was a sizable portion of your rather infamous pride. You are in no position to talk.
Gender Wars: 15
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 23
Irinali: This, it happens, is enough to crack Abbey’s composure; Wigg asks if they hurt her, but she says no – but the woman with Krassus was clearly an herbmistress herself, since she knew all the most valuable things to take. She also describes how Krassus was clearly sick, and recaps how they trapped her and ransacked the house. Wigg then explains who Krassus is, and how it was Wigg himself who appointed him first alternate (Wigg creates his own villains… surprising no one) but now Krassus is even more powerful, possibly because he was given Forestallments by Nicholas. He doesn’t know who Grizelda is, but he knows they’re looking for a man named Wulfgar and an object called the Scrolls of the Ancients. Abbey has never heard of either. He then describes Krassus’ attack on the palace and how he beat and mind-raped Wigg, which Wigg describes so dispassionately you’d think it happened to someone else. When Krassus was gone and Wigg recovered, he then felt he had to check on Abbey to make sure she was all right. Abbey also admits having had a vision of Wigg lying ill.
Exposition Intrusion: 55
Tahiri: Wigg wonders what of his Abbey could still have had to trigger the vision, so she opens her locket to reveal a lock of hair inside. It’s Wigg’s, taken from him when he was asleep three hundred years ago (and presumably preserved by magic since then). That’s… considerably less awesome, assuming she kept it out of love and not because she wanted to use it against him. But at least she’s not forgiven him for what he did after that:
“And then you voted with your brotherhood to banish all the partial adepts,” she whispered angrily. “Yet another of the Directorate’s knee-jerk reactions to anyone or anything of the craft not directly controlled by them.” She turned her face away. “You hurt me deeply, Wigg. You hurt all of us with partial blood. To this day I am not sure I will ever be able to forgive you. It was so unfair . . .”
Tahiri: Yes, let the old creep have it! Wigg wishes to himself he could have taken it back and explains how he voted against the feelings of his heart because he thought he was doing the right thing, and now he realizes that he was wrong. Oh, Sithspit. You were head of the Directorate for three hundred years. If you really felt bad, you could have called a vote of the Directorate at any time to reinstate the partial adepts – and guess what, I bet they’d have voted your way! They all seemed to hang on your every word, while they were alive, anyway! But it doesn’t sound like you ever did! So, keep your self-pity, but don’t come whining about it to me. You made your bed, old man.
Gender Wars: 16
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 24
Irinali: Wigg does claim he gave Abbey the best gift he could – the time enchantments. Yes, you condemned her to live out her eternal life in hiding, knowing that the man she – apparently and inexplicably – loved had voted to condemn her. Wigg claims that if he’d taken her side, he might have been kicked out of the Directorate himself over the scandal, which I find very hard to believe, considering he ran the damned thing. But now Wigg claims that since he’s the last member of the Directorate, he can officially invite her back to Tammerland. Yes, and you only did it when you had no choice, so you can stop patting yourself on the back at any time. Abbey, for her part, refuses, claiming that at least here she’s allowed to practice her arts in peace (personally, I wouldn’t turn down the chance for power – and to stab
Wigg in the back later – but I can certainly understand Abbey’s position). Wigg… reminds her that he can make her come with him by force. He says he won’t, but he wants her to know he can. Ah, what a gem of a man, that Wigg!
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 27
Tahiri: For once, I agree with the creepy lady. What is wrong with you? But Wigg says that if Krassus has a partial adept, in order to defeat him they need one too, to help them find the Scrolls and Wulfgar before he does. So, he asks Abbey again to come back. Oh, yes. This is clearly a man motivated by altruism and absolutely torn by regret! Don’t make me laugh. He then asks Abbey if she wants a chance to get even. Well, at least he’s self-aware enough to get why she might want that. Abbey says she’ll consider it, though she wonders how much help she’ll be when all her books and supplies are here. Wigg assures her that Faegan has extensive stores of herbs and ingredients, and they can bring her books to Tammerland. He also thinks to himself that it might be amusing to have her teach Faegan something for once. So here we have another motive – getting even with your rival! Truly, the most noble and wizardly of motivations. Finally, Abbey decides they’ve spent too long talking (I think you have! Me!) and they need to attend to Celeste… and finally realizes it must be the honey. Considering Celeste went into shock when she tasted the honey… of course it was the honey, she’s probably allergic! *facepalm*
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 27
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 30
Irinali: Well, Wigg says he already guessed it was the honey (oh, please, you’re just covering for yourself now, I can tell!) but Abbey says it’s more than that, and she has to find my chart of opposites.
Perplexed, Wigg watched her walk to the far wall of the cottage. She pushed on one side of it, and the entire wall rotated on a hidden pivot to reveal a bookcase lined with ledgers, texts, and scrolls. A much smaller room could be seen beyond, containing a desk and many piles of reference materials, as well as a store of additional herbs and oils. Luckily, this room seemed to have been untouched by Krassus. Abbey selected a text from one of the shelves, blew the dust from it, and returned to the table. The binding read Charts of Opposites, Letters H–I.
Irinali: And isn’t it convenient that the part of her supplies they need just happens to be untouched? Abbey starts leafing through the book as Wigg watches in confusion, wondering what a “Chart of Opposites” is. Hmm; this seems like a fairly important part of what Abbey does… Wigg, you were sleeping with this woman, did you never bother to learn anything about her art? Typical. Abbey explains that just as the Vigors and Vagaries are opposites, so does everything that exists have its own opposite. I… don’t believe that’s actually true, but I strongly suspect this has to do with the partial adept’s art, so I am willing to withhold judgment for the moment. She shows Wigg the page she’s studying and tells him to run his finger down the “hs” until he comes to “honey.” Wigg did as she asked, finally finding and speaking the words “powdered tetturess,” and “oil of hibernium: Leaf Only.” He looked up at Abbey. “Are you saying these two substances are nature’s direct opposites to honey?” he asked skeptically. “How can you be so sure?” For once, I have to agree with Wigg; I’m not seeing the connection here. Care to interpret, Abbey?
Exposition Intrusion: 56
Contrivances and Coincidences: 13 (of course Abbey’s chart was conveniently untouched)
Tahiri: Abbey says she wrote this book herself and learned it by centuries of experimentation, which is nice and all but still doesn’t really explain how they’re opposites or what she was testing for. She goes and fetches a bottle and uncorks it, while Wigg wonders how this is going to help. Abbey thinks that the honey catalyzed Celeste’s reaction and it’s probably still in her system, so they need hibernium oil and powdered tetturess to counteract it, preferably combined. The bottle contains the oil, but Krassus took her powdered tetturess, so she has Wigg flip to the back of the book to look up acceptable substitutions. *flatly* Okay, so everything has its opposite, or more than one sometimes… but you can also substitute other things for the opposites, and the cure still works? Why aren’t those considered opposites, then? Is Newcomb going to bother explaining this, at all? Wigg looks it up, and finds that dried stalk of widow’s wart and flakes of newt’s skin, ew, are acceptable substitutes. Abbey’s widow’s wart was taken, but not her newt’s skin. Yay?
Exposition Intrusion: 57
Contrivances and Coincidences: 14
Irinali: Abbey goes to fetch her newt’s skin – stop making that face, girl, I’ve worked with far worse things – and mixes a few flakes of it with the oil; now apparently, she has to administer it to Celeste, while Wigg tries to use magic to bring her back to consciousness. Abbey starts using her ingredients together with boiling water to make a potion, then goes to fetch another book, Combinations and Potions: Times and Instruments for the Application of Heat and Cold, and the Subsequent Reactions Thereof. Wigg asks what she’s doing, but she doesn’t explain until she eventually says she needs a white feather from a male highland goose, and no substitute will do. Dare I ask why that ingredient, exactly? And why the feather must be white, and the goose male? Is this just an attempt to send Wigg on an, excuse me, wild goose chase? Literally? Alas, ‘tis not to be. She finds an appropriate feather among her stores, fetches a quill pen, and begins to draw a line down it in red ink. Wigg exasperatedly wonders what she’s doing, and she says he hasn’t changed and probably drives Faegan to distraction. Faegan and all of us, unfortunately.
Tahiri: Abbey finally gets done with whatever she’s doing and asks Wigg to bring some chairs over as she sticks the feather upright in the potion; Wigg wonders what the point of all of this is, and Abbey retorts that for all his learning, he doesn’t know how long the potion has to cook for. And… on the one hand, that’s a fair point, and it sure is nice someone is willing to remind Wigg he doesn’t know everything. On the other hand, all these steps seem pretty arbitrary to me, to, so would you mind explaining what’s going on? For the friendly Jedi in the audience who’s been very, very patient with all this nonsense so far? Wigg realizes that the feather is a measuring tool, and when the feather turns brown to the ink line, the potion is done. Abbey adds that at that temperature, it also won’t burn Celeste’s throat. So, they wait a bit for the potion to get done, and Abbey quickly pours it into a cup and tells Wigg to do what he has to. He opens Celeste’s mouth and tips her head back so Abbey can feed her the potion, and then gets to work with magic.
Exposition Intrusion: 60
Irinali: After a moment, Celeste starts to stir, then Wigg realizes that they skipped a step as she sits bolt upright and raises her arms. Abbey shouts for Wigg to hold her; he almost uses magic, but apparently that would stop… whatever it is he’s doing… so he grabs her arms instead. And since Celeste is in a panic and doesn’t know where she is or what’s going on, this predictably results in her shooting magic bolts wildly around the room, so Wigg has to dive to cover Abbey with his body (I’m amazed he didn’t use her as a shield for himself, to be honest). He hears the sounds of things breaking all over the house, then finally looks back up to see that:
The devastation was amazing. Only two of the walls were still standing, but one of them suddenly gave up the effort and collapsed inward, crashing to the cottage floor. Most of the roof was gone, revealing the stars twinkling innocently in the early evening sky. In the dim light he could see that the vast majority of Abbey’s bottles and other containers had been blown out of the house and lay broken or open, scattered haphazardly across the nearby woods and fields. Wigg realized that they were probably quite unrecoverable. Almost every stick of furniture was demolished, and even the hearth had been rent in two, its bricks scattered across the floor like abandoned children’s toys. Most of the chimney somehow still rose toward the sky like a crooked, broken finger, trying to point to the stars. Miraculously, the wall still standing was the one holding the shelves full of Abbey’s books, scrolls, and ledgers. For the most part, they and the others scattered about behind them seemed unharmed.
Irinali: Well, isn’t that convenient. Also, congratulations Wigg, you destroyed Abbey’s house. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Celeste has collapsed back on the bed, staring and her hands and weeping. Abbey is also weeping, but at the destruction of her house. Wigg, whatever it is you forgot you needed to do… I hope Abbey feeds you something very embarrassing, and preferably painful. Celeste finally sits up and embraces Wigg in shock – boo! – before looking around and realizing she did this and wondering where they are, and what happened. The last thing she remembers was tasting the honey.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 15
Tahiri: Speaking as someone who also… once, for reasons that are… complicated… sometimes found myself waking up places with no idea of how I got there or what I’d done in the meantime – Celeste, you poor, poor woman. You need someone to help you who’s better than Wigg. But Celeste just falls back into a natural sleep, and Wigg is pleased that whatever was wrong with her, he and Abbey seem to have cured it. Yes, and Celeste is still terrified of whatever is happening to her and can’t control it, and Abbey’s house is in ruins. Good job. Wigg goes over to Abbey, who is clutching one of her books, and apologizes. She puts her head on his shoulder and starts crying (if she’d decided to resort to violence instead, I wouldn’t blame her) and they remain like that for a while until she finally looks up and says she’ll be coming with him after all. Yeah, convenient how that works out, isn’t it? Wigg and Abbey admit that they never expected to see each other again, and the chapter ends.
MG: As does the first Part of The Scrolls of the Ancients! This chapter… on the one hand, I am pleased that with the introduction of Abbey, we finally met a character who’s willing to actually call Wigg out, and that we got to see some magic other than that of the Vigors and Vagaries. On the other hand, Wigg still comes off as a self-righteous, self-absorbed creep who only admits his mistakes when said mistakes actively come back to bite him and never properly grapples with the consequences of his actions, for which Abbey is far too ready to forgive him, a lot of the steps in Abbey’s potion making feel completely arbitrary and unexplained, and, yeah, while the attempt to heal Celeste is nominally a success, it still results in Abbey’s house getting blown up and her having to join our “heroes” at the palace as a result anyway. Next time, we officially begin Part II: Revelation, as we check in with Wulfgar and Janus, and find out what’s become of Tristan. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 63
Contrivances and Coincidences: 15
Dastardly Deeds: 33
Exposition Intrusion: 60
Gender Wars: 16
Gratuitous Grimdark: 13
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 28
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 30
Retcons and Revelations: 15
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Scrolls of the Ancients! Last time, Wigg nearly got himself and Celeste eaten by bears because of his own stupidity. Meanwhile, Tristan and company spied on Krassus’ slaving operation, were found out, Shailiha demonstrated hitherto unsuspected combat prowess, and the worst luck in the world led to Tristan’s capture. Today, it’s time for Wigg to have his long-awaited(?) reunion with Abbey the partial adept, as we bring the first Part of this book to a close. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Irinali!
Chapter Ten
Tahiri: …I know it’s not very Jedi-like of me but doing this and a certain other project of MG’s (coming soon to a sporking comm near you!) I feel like I might have earned a little bit of compensation? Maybe a trophy? Anyway, we open with Abbey walking through the woods near her cottage in the middle of the night, and considering just what book this is, it’s kind of distractingly twee.
The light of day was gone, and the stars had come out. Moonlit shadows created by the yellow-and-turquoise-leaved chirithium trees slowly lengthened out over the waving grasses, blossoms, and herbs she walked through on her way home. Carried by the wind, light, fluffy clouds danced to and fro in the night sky, as if struggling to escape their banishment into the darkness. The blooming fragrances of the Season of New Life swirled everywhere about her.
Irinali: I like flowers perfectly fine *she notices Tahiri’s incredulous look* - what, they often have very interesting alchemical properties! – but you don’t have to be so cloying about describing it! Apparently, Abbey has been out in the woods today foraging for ingredients and is pleased with her take, and fantasizes about having some tea when she gets home. Her mind drifts back to her recent intruders; she didn’t recognize Grizelda, save that she’s sure the other woman was also an herbmistress and therefore a partial adept – which is apparently surprising itself, since her kind aren’t many and tend to stay in contact with each other. She finds it even more surprising that Grizelda was traveling with a wizard, since the wizards banished the partial adepts long ago – and once again, she feels the need to specify they banished both male and female adepts, as if that’s the important thing.
Gender Wars: 13
Tahiri: I’m wondering why they’re so few. Do wizards just not marry normal people often (wouldn’t surprise me, in this awful place…) or do most partial adepts just never get any training, and it’s those who are trained who are rare? Not sure I like the implications either way. Suddenly, Abbey’s cottage comes into sight… and she sees that there’s smoke coming from the chimney, so someone’s inside and has lit a fire. Great, guess Wigg just walked right in and made himself at home, huh? Abbey debates with herself what to do, and finally decides to sneak around the cottage from behind and pokes her head up to peer in through a window.
A young, beautiful woman with brilliant red hair was lying on Abbey’s bed. Her eyes were closed; her face was very pale. The staggered rising and falling of the thin blanket that covered the woman told the experienced herbmistress that the stranger was having great difficulty breathing. A man’s hand, with long, elegant fingers, rested flat on the woman’s forehead. Abbey could not see the rest of him.
Irinali: Why do we keep having to have it pointed out to us that Wigg’s fingers are elegant? Abbey makes her way back around to the front of the house and walks in; and when she sees the man’s face and recognizes him, of course it’s such a shock she drops her basket of ingredients on the floor. “Hello, Abbey,” the man said gently. “It’s been a long time. Please pardon my intrusion, but I very much need your help.” And we can tell how much Wigg needs help, because he’s actually bothering to be polite and not just demanding it. Abbey is choking in shock – an understandable reaction to suddenly meeting Wigg – and she stumbles over to a chair and sits down before finally managing to speak, asking who Celeste is and what Wigg is doing here.
Tahiri: Wigg doesn’t answer; instead, he just levitates all of Abbey’s spilled ingredients back into her basket, and then the basket up onto the table. From anyone else I’d think he was trying to be helpful… but since it’s Wigg, I’m just going to call it showing off. Finally, he speaks.
“Her name is Celeste,” he answered softly. “She is of endowed blood, and has been adversely affected by the craft. In all my years I have seen this phenomenon occur only one other time—quite recently, in fact—to another woman who means just as much to me. The other woman, however, managed its effects much more handily. I cannot be sure, but I think it was because of the greater strength of her blood. In any event, this woman needs our help. I have been unable to awaken her by myself, and I fear that if she does not return to consciousness soon, I may lose her for all time. Will you help me?” The wizard’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
Blood Matters: 58
Tahiri: I’ll notice you avoided admitting Celeste was your daughter. Sleemo. But Abbey at least seems to have enough professional ethics to want to help; she gets up and examines Celeste before declaring she’s stable, but in a bad way, and her mind is buried deep. *quietly* That happened to me once. I spend days locked inside my own head, fighting my own demons. A friend helped lead me out of the shadows and into the person I am now… but all Celeste has is Wigg. *beat* She’s doomed, isn’t she? Abbey says she’ll do what she can – but she’s doing it for Celeste, not for Wigg. *beat* Finally, a character in this I can get behind! Do you think Abbey would mind if I hugged her?
Irinali: *eyeing her with distaste* I’ll settle for a professional handshake if you don’t mind. I don’t… do… sentiment. Wigg at least has the speck of decency to thank Abbey and admit he can’t blame her for that attitude, but before they do anything more, Abbey wants to know who Celeste really is. Meanwhile, the fire is dying so Wigg causes it to flare back up with magic. Abbey sighed. “I had almost forgotten how much easier life can be for certain trained males,” she commented as she began to prepare some tea. One corner of Wigg’s mouth came up: He could hardly disagree. Considering Wigg is the reason why life is only easier in that way for “certain trained males…” forgive me if I consider his amusement to be little better than gloating. And there is a time and place; this is neither.
Blood Matters: 59
Gender Wars: 14
Tahiri: Splash the tea in his smug face, Abbey; we know you want to. Abbey repeats her question, and Wigg finally admits Celeste is his daughter. Abbey is stunned and asks if Wigg finally remarried (honestly, if someone told me he’s sired a bunch of bastards over the centuries, I would not be surprised); Wigg explains he hasn’t, that Failee was pregnant when she left him and that Celeste is under time enchantments and over three hundred years old (so you can stop treating her like a child any time now…). Wigg says it would take a very long time to explain everything; Abbey says they’re both under the time enchantments, so they have time. Gah, don’t ask for the exposition – don’t you know what you’re getting into? People say I talk too much, but I don’t have anything on this old windbag. And I like to think the things I have to say are more interesting. And you may have time, but does Celeste have time?
Exposition Intrusion: 45
Irinali: Fortunately, Newcomb just summarizes it for us as Wigg goes over the events of the past two books – the Paragon, the Tome, the twins, the Coven’s invasion (wait, Abbey lives in Eutracia, she should have known about that! Or maybe she just never realized who the Minions were working for; sure, they flew the Pentagram flags, but lots of people can fly flags) and their defeat, Nicholas and the Gates of Dawn, and so on and so forth. Abbey apparently keeps listening as he drones on and on about blood signatures, and Newcomb recaps what they are, how they affect the blood, what they look like in blood signatures, and so on. And, finally, how Forestallments gave Shailiha and now Celeste unusual abilities. Abbey gets very interested in this, asking for Wigg to describe the bolts of energy Celeste summoned against the bears. “Yes,” Wigg answered. “Her bolts were the most powerful I have ever seen; they literally ripped the creature apart. Then she collapsed. And now . . .” He paused, one eyebrow rising, “I think I know why.” Abbey asks him to explain, and so Wigg sets off. Again. Keeper damn you all.
Blood Matters: 61
Exposition Intrusion: 50
“You just said it yourself,” he replied. “Her first use of a Forestallment came quickly, immediately after its activation, so her blood had no time to adjust to its new state. No doubt it was Failee’s intention to activate Celeste’s gifts one by one, and train her in their use gradually, in a controlled environment. But given the desperate situation, Celeste acted instinctively. This proved to be too much for her untrained blood, and plunged her into this deep, twilight state.” He turned sadly, looking back over at the bed. “There is another wizard with me at the palace. His name is Faegan. He would have been able to help, for he is also an herbalist. But your cottage was much closer.”
Tahiri: *rolling her eyes* Oh, I’m sure Abbey was just thrilled to hear that she was your second choice, and you’d have gone to Faegan first if you could have. Anyway, Abbey wants to know why they were here in the first place, and Wigg admits they were coming to see her on a different matter. Abbey notes that Wigg seems to be needing a lot of help lately. “Tell me,” she said sternly, “after more than three hundred years of surviving without my services, how is it that the lofty nation of Eutracia suddenly needs one of those who was so summarily banished?” You… you are awesome. How did Newcomb create you?
MG: I suspect that, like with the sexism, someone told him he needed to have someone call Wigg out for… everything. And also like with walking back the sexism, I strongly suspect his heart wasn’t really in it. But we’ll talk more about that later.
Blood Maters: 63
Exposition Intrusion: 53
Tahiri: Well, Wigg sits silently for a while, trying to figure out how to respond to that (which is telling) and then finally he looks around and tells Abbey he didn’t remember her being such a poor housekeeper. *facepalms* You… have no tact at all, do you? But Wigg notes that the mess isn’t like Abbey, and guesses that Krassus was here, and had a partial adept of his own with him (which… he’d already guessed earlier from what Krassus said, but I guess he had to be rude about it). They took much from you, didn’t they? Not the least of which was a sizable portion of your rather infamous pride. You are in no position to talk.
Gender Wars: 15
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 23
Irinali: This, it happens, is enough to crack Abbey’s composure; Wigg asks if they hurt her, but she says no – but the woman with Krassus was clearly an herbmistress herself, since she knew all the most valuable things to take. She also describes how Krassus was clearly sick, and recaps how they trapped her and ransacked the house. Wigg then explains who Krassus is, and how it was Wigg himself who appointed him first alternate (Wigg creates his own villains… surprising no one) but now Krassus is even more powerful, possibly because he was given Forestallments by Nicholas. He doesn’t know who Grizelda is, but he knows they’re looking for a man named Wulfgar and an object called the Scrolls of the Ancients. Abbey has never heard of either. He then describes Krassus’ attack on the palace and how he beat and mind-raped Wigg, which Wigg describes so dispassionately you’d think it happened to someone else. When Krassus was gone and Wigg recovered, he then felt he had to check on Abbey to make sure she was all right. Abbey also admits having had a vision of Wigg lying ill.
Exposition Intrusion: 55
Tahiri: Wigg wonders what of his Abbey could still have had to trigger the vision, so she opens her locket to reveal a lock of hair inside. It’s Wigg’s, taken from him when he was asleep three hundred years ago (and presumably preserved by magic since then). That’s… considerably less awesome, assuming she kept it out of love and not because she wanted to use it against him. But at least she’s not forgiven him for what he did after that:
“And then you voted with your brotherhood to banish all the partial adepts,” she whispered angrily. “Yet another of the Directorate’s knee-jerk reactions to anyone or anything of the craft not directly controlled by them.” She turned her face away. “You hurt me deeply, Wigg. You hurt all of us with partial blood. To this day I am not sure I will ever be able to forgive you. It was so unfair . . .”
Tahiri: Yes, let the old creep have it! Wigg wishes to himself he could have taken it back and explains how he voted against the feelings of his heart because he thought he was doing the right thing, and now he realizes that he was wrong. Oh, Sithspit. You were head of the Directorate for three hundred years. If you really felt bad, you could have called a vote of the Directorate at any time to reinstate the partial adepts – and guess what, I bet they’d have voted your way! They all seemed to hang on your every word, while they were alive, anyway! But it doesn’t sound like you ever did! So, keep your self-pity, but don’t come whining about it to me. You made your bed, old man.
Gender Wars: 16
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 24
Irinali: Wigg does claim he gave Abbey the best gift he could – the time enchantments. Yes, you condemned her to live out her eternal life in hiding, knowing that the man she – apparently and inexplicably – loved had voted to condemn her. Wigg claims that if he’d taken her side, he might have been kicked out of the Directorate himself over the scandal, which I find very hard to believe, considering he ran the damned thing. But now Wigg claims that since he’s the last member of the Directorate, he can officially invite her back to Tammerland. Yes, and you only did it when you had no choice, so you can stop patting yourself on the back at any time. Abbey, for her part, refuses, claiming that at least here she’s allowed to practice her arts in peace (personally, I wouldn’t turn down the chance for power – and to stab
Wigg in the back later – but I can certainly understand Abbey’s position). Wigg… reminds her that he can make her come with him by force. He says he won’t, but he wants her to know he can. Ah, what a gem of a man, that Wigg!
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 27
Tahiri: For once, I agree with the creepy lady. What is wrong with you? But Wigg says that if Krassus has a partial adept, in order to defeat him they need one too, to help them find the Scrolls and Wulfgar before he does. So, he asks Abbey again to come back. Oh, yes. This is clearly a man motivated by altruism and absolutely torn by regret! Don’t make me laugh. He then asks Abbey if she wants a chance to get even. Well, at least he’s self-aware enough to get why she might want that. Abbey says she’ll consider it, though she wonders how much help she’ll be when all her books and supplies are here. Wigg assures her that Faegan has extensive stores of herbs and ingredients, and they can bring her books to Tammerland. He also thinks to himself that it might be amusing to have her teach Faegan something for once. So here we have another motive – getting even with your rival! Truly, the most noble and wizardly of motivations. Finally, Abbey decides they’ve spent too long talking (I think you have! Me!) and they need to attend to Celeste… and finally realizes it must be the honey. Considering Celeste went into shock when she tasted the honey… of course it was the honey, she’s probably allergic! *facepalm*
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 27
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 30
Irinali: Well, Wigg says he already guessed it was the honey (oh, please, you’re just covering for yourself now, I can tell!) but Abbey says it’s more than that, and she has to find my chart of opposites.
Perplexed, Wigg watched her walk to the far wall of the cottage. She pushed on one side of it, and the entire wall rotated on a hidden pivot to reveal a bookcase lined with ledgers, texts, and scrolls. A much smaller room could be seen beyond, containing a desk and many piles of reference materials, as well as a store of additional herbs and oils. Luckily, this room seemed to have been untouched by Krassus. Abbey selected a text from one of the shelves, blew the dust from it, and returned to the table. The binding read Charts of Opposites, Letters H–I.
Irinali: And isn’t it convenient that the part of her supplies they need just happens to be untouched? Abbey starts leafing through the book as Wigg watches in confusion, wondering what a “Chart of Opposites” is. Hmm; this seems like a fairly important part of what Abbey does… Wigg, you were sleeping with this woman, did you never bother to learn anything about her art? Typical. Abbey explains that just as the Vigors and Vagaries are opposites, so does everything that exists have its own opposite. I… don’t believe that’s actually true, but I strongly suspect this has to do with the partial adept’s art, so I am willing to withhold judgment for the moment. She shows Wigg the page she’s studying and tells him to run his finger down the “hs” until he comes to “honey.” Wigg did as she asked, finally finding and speaking the words “powdered tetturess,” and “oil of hibernium: Leaf Only.” He looked up at Abbey. “Are you saying these two substances are nature’s direct opposites to honey?” he asked skeptically. “How can you be so sure?” For once, I have to agree with Wigg; I’m not seeing the connection here. Care to interpret, Abbey?
Exposition Intrusion: 56
Contrivances and Coincidences: 13 (of course Abbey’s chart was conveniently untouched)
Tahiri: Abbey says she wrote this book herself and learned it by centuries of experimentation, which is nice and all but still doesn’t really explain how they’re opposites or what she was testing for. She goes and fetches a bottle and uncorks it, while Wigg wonders how this is going to help. Abbey thinks that the honey catalyzed Celeste’s reaction and it’s probably still in her system, so they need hibernium oil and powdered tetturess to counteract it, preferably combined. The bottle contains the oil, but Krassus took her powdered tetturess, so she has Wigg flip to the back of the book to look up acceptable substitutions. *flatly* Okay, so everything has its opposite, or more than one sometimes… but you can also substitute other things for the opposites, and the cure still works? Why aren’t those considered opposites, then? Is Newcomb going to bother explaining this, at all? Wigg looks it up, and finds that dried stalk of widow’s wart and flakes of newt’s skin, ew, are acceptable substitutes. Abbey’s widow’s wart was taken, but not her newt’s skin. Yay?
Exposition Intrusion: 57
Contrivances and Coincidences: 14
Irinali: Abbey goes to fetch her newt’s skin – stop making that face, girl, I’ve worked with far worse things – and mixes a few flakes of it with the oil; now apparently, she has to administer it to Celeste, while Wigg tries to use magic to bring her back to consciousness. Abbey starts using her ingredients together with boiling water to make a potion, then goes to fetch another book, Combinations and Potions: Times and Instruments for the Application of Heat and Cold, and the Subsequent Reactions Thereof. Wigg asks what she’s doing, but she doesn’t explain until she eventually says she needs a white feather from a male highland goose, and no substitute will do. Dare I ask why that ingredient, exactly? And why the feather must be white, and the goose male? Is this just an attempt to send Wigg on an, excuse me, wild goose chase? Literally? Alas, ‘tis not to be. She finds an appropriate feather among her stores, fetches a quill pen, and begins to draw a line down it in red ink. Wigg exasperatedly wonders what she’s doing, and she says he hasn’t changed and probably drives Faegan to distraction. Faegan and all of us, unfortunately.
Tahiri: Abbey finally gets done with whatever she’s doing and asks Wigg to bring some chairs over as she sticks the feather upright in the potion; Wigg wonders what the point of all of this is, and Abbey retorts that for all his learning, he doesn’t know how long the potion has to cook for. And… on the one hand, that’s a fair point, and it sure is nice someone is willing to remind Wigg he doesn’t know everything. On the other hand, all these steps seem pretty arbitrary to me, to, so would you mind explaining what’s going on? For the friendly Jedi in the audience who’s been very, very patient with all this nonsense so far? Wigg realizes that the feather is a measuring tool, and when the feather turns brown to the ink line, the potion is done. Abbey adds that at that temperature, it also won’t burn Celeste’s throat. So, they wait a bit for the potion to get done, and Abbey quickly pours it into a cup and tells Wigg to do what he has to. He opens Celeste’s mouth and tips her head back so Abbey can feed her the potion, and then gets to work with magic.
Exposition Intrusion: 60
Irinali: After a moment, Celeste starts to stir, then Wigg realizes that they skipped a step as she sits bolt upright and raises her arms. Abbey shouts for Wigg to hold her; he almost uses magic, but apparently that would stop… whatever it is he’s doing… so he grabs her arms instead. And since Celeste is in a panic and doesn’t know where she is or what’s going on, this predictably results in her shooting magic bolts wildly around the room, so Wigg has to dive to cover Abbey with his body (I’m amazed he didn’t use her as a shield for himself, to be honest). He hears the sounds of things breaking all over the house, then finally looks back up to see that:
The devastation was amazing. Only two of the walls were still standing, but one of them suddenly gave up the effort and collapsed inward, crashing to the cottage floor. Most of the roof was gone, revealing the stars twinkling innocently in the early evening sky. In the dim light he could see that the vast majority of Abbey’s bottles and other containers had been blown out of the house and lay broken or open, scattered haphazardly across the nearby woods and fields. Wigg realized that they were probably quite unrecoverable. Almost every stick of furniture was demolished, and even the hearth had been rent in two, its bricks scattered across the floor like abandoned children’s toys. Most of the chimney somehow still rose toward the sky like a crooked, broken finger, trying to point to the stars. Miraculously, the wall still standing was the one holding the shelves full of Abbey’s books, scrolls, and ledgers. For the most part, they and the others scattered about behind them seemed unharmed.
Irinali: Well, isn’t that convenient. Also, congratulations Wigg, you destroyed Abbey’s house. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Celeste has collapsed back on the bed, staring and her hands and weeping. Abbey is also weeping, but at the destruction of her house. Wigg, whatever it is you forgot you needed to do… I hope Abbey feeds you something very embarrassing, and preferably painful. Celeste finally sits up and embraces Wigg in shock – boo! – before looking around and realizing she did this and wondering where they are, and what happened. The last thing she remembers was tasting the honey.
Contrivances and Coincidences: 15
Tahiri: Speaking as someone who also… once, for reasons that are… complicated… sometimes found myself waking up places with no idea of how I got there or what I’d done in the meantime – Celeste, you poor, poor woman. You need someone to help you who’s better than Wigg. But Celeste just falls back into a natural sleep, and Wigg is pleased that whatever was wrong with her, he and Abbey seem to have cured it. Yes, and Celeste is still terrified of whatever is happening to her and can’t control it, and Abbey’s house is in ruins. Good job. Wigg goes over to Abbey, who is clutching one of her books, and apologizes. She puts her head on his shoulder and starts crying (if she’d decided to resort to violence instead, I wouldn’t blame her) and they remain like that for a while until she finally looks up and says she’ll be coming with him after all. Yeah, convenient how that works out, isn’t it? Wigg and Abbey admit that they never expected to see each other again, and the chapter ends.
MG: As does the first Part of The Scrolls of the Ancients! This chapter… on the one hand, I am pleased that with the introduction of Abbey, we finally met a character who’s willing to actually call Wigg out, and that we got to see some magic other than that of the Vigors and Vagaries. On the other hand, Wigg still comes off as a self-righteous, self-absorbed creep who only admits his mistakes when said mistakes actively come back to bite him and never properly grapples with the consequences of his actions, for which Abbey is far too ready to forgive him, a lot of the steps in Abbey’s potion making feel completely arbitrary and unexplained, and, yeah, while the attempt to heal Celeste is nominally a success, it still results in Abbey’s house getting blown up and her having to join our “heroes” at the palace as a result anyway. Next time, we officially begin Part II: Revelation, as we check in with Wulfgar and Janus, and find out what’s become of Tristan. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 63
Contrivances and Coincidences: 15
Dastardly Deeds: 33
Exposition Intrusion: 60
Gender Wars: 16
Gratuitous Grimdark: 13
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 28
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 30
Retcons and Revelations: 15
