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masterghandalfThis is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
Warning: This post contains discussion of slavery, torture and mind rape.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Scrolls of the Ancients! Last time, Marcus and Becca tried to drive a hard bargain, Krassus located the Scroll, Tyranny decided to put in for repairs, and Wigg and Faegan inched slowly closer to fulfilling their quest. Today, we find out more about what Krassus wants with Wulfgar, just where Tyranny is going, and we return to Celeste and Shailiha for a brief stopover. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Irinali!
Chapter Thirty-Five
Tahiri: Back here again, wheee. And considering this is my third spork of this in a row, which you don’t usually make me do… yeah, I’m not looking forward to whatever today has in store for us. Neither is Wulfgar, as it happens, since we open with him telling Krassus that he’s insane. Even you, in the warped, twisted world of this bizarre island you command, cannot believe everything you have just said! And even if you do, such things are not possible! What you propose is monstrous, and I will have none of it, do you hear? None of it! *rolls her eyes* Yeah, because that really stilted little monologue is out an absolutely enraged and outraged person will talk. Sure. And I guess Wulfgar and Krassus are having their little talk now? Is this the one we skimmed over for some reason a few chapters ago and are now jumping back to, or is it a later one? Who knows!
Well, Krassus just smiles, gets up from where he was sitting and walks over to the window, watching as five more slave ships arrive and thinking about how almost all his fleet is here, save the ship Janus and Grizelda just left on to go fetch the Scroll. And for now they’ll be staying here, since he’s found Wulfgar and has enough endowed slaves for another, more esoteric part of Nicholas’s plan (nice word, Newcomb, but if you’re trying to convince me this book is smart… way too late for that, friend). He’s also got plenty of undendowed slaves for some other purpose, so he’s had Janus pass on the word to shut down the slaving operation for the time being. Hmmm; on the one hand, the slave fleet shutting down is a good thing… but whatever Krassus has planned for his slaves sounds like a bad thing. *hefts her lightsaber thoughtfully* I may have to pay a visit to this wretched little island after we’re through…
Blood Matters: 131
Dastardly Deeds: 94
Irinali: *shrugs* Be my guest; I won’t stop you. And so, we learn that Krassus gave Wulfgar a thorough inspection when he met him, and apparently likes what he sees!
Tall, broad-shouldered and muscular, Wulfgar had intense hazel eyes that burned brightly with both his innate intelligence and the strength of his uniquely endowed blood. His rugged good looks were not what one might have called classically handsome, but he carried with him a defiant sense of purpose, just as did the other two offspring of the late Morganna.
Irinali: *whistles appreciatively* I can work with that. And I’d give him a better deal than he’d probably get from anyone in these books… though from that description, I do have to wonder if Krassus is into Wulfgar, too? Though I imagine if he was, Newcomb wouldn’t be that subtle about it, because we’ve seen how he writes villains who are attracted to their own gender, so I’m going to assume it’s accidental. Krassus could barely contain his eagerness to discover just how strong Wulfgar’s blood would eventually prove to be. Then again, when you put it that way… Anyway, Krassus needs to consult the Scroll of the Vagaries before he can move on to the next phase of his plan; he doesn’t tell us what said plan is, but he’s apparently just finished explaining it in detail to Wulfgar, including the planned fate for all the other slaves, both endowed and otherwise, which the consuls are already overseeing the first stages of. Hearing said plan apparently provoked Wulfgar into such a rage he tried to attack Krassus then and there (now, now – a knife in his side when his back’s turned will be much more effective!) but Krassus, predictably, being a powerful wizard and all, tossed him aside with minimal effort. Now there was nothing he could do but listen to the impossible-sounding plans of the wizard with the long, white hair and the strange gray-and-blue robe. Now, we’re still in Krassus’s point of view… no idea why he feels the need to describe his own appearance, but I’m sure it will come to me if I think about it long enough! *beat* And possibly after I smack myself in the head with my staff a few times…
Blood Matters: 135 (for various references, starting with the idea that you can tell the strength of Wulfgar’s blood… because he has bright eyes? *shrugs in confusion)
Tahiri: Well, we find out that Krassus expected Wulfgar to react that way… but soon, his mind will be changed, and there’s nothing Wulfgar will be able to do to stop it… *her eyes suddenly narrow dangerously* Oh. Oh. This is why you wanted me to comment on this chapter specifically, isn’t it? Because this sounds suspiciously like what Mezhan Kwaad said to me before she spent weeks turning my brain inside out… *she glares at MG* You hate me, don’t you? You really do… Well, we then learn that Krassus filled Wulfgar in about his true parentage and history, including showing him his and his half-siblings’ blood signatures to convince him… and why are we having all of this related to us second-hand? This is Wulfgar getting confirmation of who he really is and why Krassus wants him! This is an important scene! Why is it being related to us so blandly after the fact? Does Newcomb not care about this at all… *she sighs* Of course he doesn’t. Finally, Wulfgar asks about Serena, since the freak Janus clearly wanted them together but never explained why. He wants to know why it was important that the two of them meet and hit it off. Apparently, get this, Krassus picked Serena for Wulfgar himself, by a command Nicholas gave just before he died… what? When did that happen? How did either of them even know who Serena even was? But apparently she’s smart, beautiful, and has endowed blood comparable to Wulfgar’s, complete with a left-leaning signature *hisses angrily*. Serena herself has been kept ignorant of all this, which is consistent with what we’ve seen of her thoughts, but Wulfgar is suddenly furious at how he and Serena were both manipulated, and worried for her since she was taken away earlier by the slavers so he and Krassus could talk privately.
Blood Matters: 138
Contrivances and Coincidences: 36
Gender Wars: 44 (Krassus clearly wants Serena only as an adjunct to Wulfgar)
Retcons and Revelations: 21
Irinali: Wulfgar thinks this doesn’t answer his question; Krassus says it wasn’t just about sex, and though if Wulfgar and Serena have a child that might be useful to him, it’s also not necessary. Rather, it’s because he plans for Wulfgar to be a conqueror, and every king needs a queen. The woman behind the throne, as they say. *arches her eyebrow* Really. Where I come from, a queen sits on a throne, not behind it… and I can certainly think of kings who remain unmarried, for various and sundry reasons! So, I cannot take your conclusions as seriously as you might like, O Krassus. But he thought Serena was the obvious choice for the role; Wulfgar wants to know why Krassus is so sure he’d choose her, and apparently Krassus thinks Serena is the only woman of sufficiently high, left-leaning blood quality here to satisfy him. And of course, once again it comes down to blood. And I think the animal handlers of House Vadalis may be more sentimental when describing breeding their beasts than Krassus just was about finding Wulfgar a wife. *applauds sarcastically* Bravo. Wulfgar asks if Krassus plans to do to Serena what he’s going to do to Wulfgar and Krassus says no – Wulfgar will do it himself, to make sure her arrival into your new world is perfect in all respects. *looking disconcerted* I will have you know that I am not an easy person to disturb – it goes with the profession; after you’ve seen as many corpses as I have, many of them still ambulatory, you become hard to shock – but there is still something profoundly unsettling in that wording. Wulfgar then asks why Serena was set apart from the other slaves like she was, and I would think the answer is obvious – the point is to keep her separate, since she is going on to a special position and shouldn’t be permitted to form bonds with the ordinary slaves, or they with her. And indeed Krassus explains that… and goes further.
As you will learn, the unendowed are little more than a natural resource for the endowed to exploit. Mere cattle, as it were. And becoming immune to the pleadings of those of lesser blood is an essential part of that realization. What better way to begin teaching her than to force her to watch her friends starve while she thrives? Besides, as I understand it, it was you who insisted she receive better nourishment. Perhaps you should have been more careful with your words, Wulfgar. You know what they say: Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it.
Blood Matters: 142
Dastardly Deeds: 97
Exposition Intrusion: 158
Gender Wars: 45
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 61
Tahiri: So, wait. We’re clearly supposed to see Krassus as evil – rightly so! – because he considers regular people to be “cattle” – but Wigg clearly couldn’t give a kriff about what happens to ordinary people either, considering how he made sure to save his own precious followers while leaving Tammerland to rot during the Minion attack and all. So… yeah, the hypocrisy is stunning. Wulfgar paces a bit, then angrily asks about that freak of nature named Janus (seriously, if Janus is the weirdest person you’ve ever met, you really need to get out more…) and where Krassus found him. Turns out Nicholas had suggested Krassus use an unendowed person to run the slaving operation, since they’d be easier to dispose of if necessary than someone with actual magic. Janus was just a mercenary Krassus hired in Tammerland. Wait, that’s it? That’s literally all the explanation we’re going to get for the creepy clown man we’ve spent the book building up as one of the major villains and has been all weird and mysterious and stuff?
MG: Yes it is! That’s the only explanation for Janus we’re ever going to get – he’s just a creepy career criminal and mercenary who dresses like a clown because he just does, that’s why. Isn’t it so underwhelming?
Tahiri: Boo, Newcomb! Boo! Anyway, Krassus can tell Wulfgar hates Janus and promises him he can kill him if he wants to after he comes into his power, since there are plenty more like him where he came from. So… does Eutracia have a chronic problem with killer clowns, or…? Wulfgar says he’d just as happily kill Krassus and all the slavers too, and that he’d enjoy it, too. *shrugs* I can’t blame him – I tried to choke Mezhan Kwaad on her own air (hey, you can’t use the Force on Yuuzhan Vong directly, so you’ve got to get creative…) which wasn’t very Jedi-like of me, but desperate times and all that. And I did cut her head off later; I’ll admit I was shook a bit to find I actually had that in me, but… all things told, I’d still do it again. But Krassus promises him that, eventually, he won’t want to, because he’ll come to recognize that he’ll need the slavers. As for Krassus himself, we all know he’s dying already. But the kicker is why he’s dying:
It came to me compliments of Nicholas, in the form of my rather inconvenient but very effective lung disease. A creative incentive granted to me by my master, designed not only to hurry me along in my work but also to grace me with the greatest reward of all: to reside for all of eternity in the embrace of the Heretics of the Guild. So, once you can, feel free to kill me. My fate is sealed one way or the other.
Blood Matters: 145
Dastardly Deeds: 99
Exposition Intrusion: 160
Irinali: I beg your pardon? Let me get this straight. Krassus is dying… because Nicholas did that to him on purpose. Nicholas deliberately put a ticking clock in his servant’s body that will kill him on a schedule, no matter if he succeeds or fails? Why? I repeat, why? What purpose does that serve? I could understand if the disease reacted to Krassus’s efforts, so that actively working towards Nicholas’s goals made him healthier while dawdling caused the disease to progress, because that would be an incentive. Killing him either way is, if anything, the opposite of that, giving Krassus no motivation to complete the plan and every reason to resent Nicholas for putting him in this situation! And if Nicholas was confident his brainwashing was so effective that Krassus would stay loyal even with an inescapable death hanging over him… why bother infecting him in the first place? That only ensures Wulfgar will be quickly deprived of his advisor. And what would have happened if he hadn’t been able to find Wulfgar on schedule and the disease killed him anyway, leaving the work undone? What is the point of this? Or the disease could have been a condition Krassus had already, or an unintended side-effect of all the Forestallments Nicholas put on him! That would have made sense! This… this makes no sense! I am professionally offended!
MG: Honestly, I’m pretty sure the real reason is “Krassus as a character only exists as a delivery system for Wulfgar, and Newcomb put a time bomb in him so he could be quickly removed from the story as soon as Wulfgar was ready to take over as big bad full-time.” Because that’s the only way this makes sense to me. And, considering certain revelations in the second trilogy, Krassus is not going to be becoming a Heretic post-mortem, FYI.
Irinali: *facepalms*
Dastardly Deeds: 100 (condemning your own minion to death for no good reason gets a point here)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 64
Irinali: Well. Moving on. Wulfgar is understandably disturbed by all this, deciding that to go along with the plan under these circumstances Krassus must be a fanatic and a madman, which means he’s currently alone in a room with a deranged wizard. So, he decides to make the best of it and demands to know why Krassus is telling him all this, when he’s proven by the brutality of his methods so far he doesn’t care about hurting people in the name of getting what he wants, and wonders why he doesn’t just force Wulfgar to go along with him if that’s all he wants. Krassus then calmly asks Wulfgar what he’d do in Krassus’s place (I don’t think the poor man is interested in taking your place; as for me, as we’re in somewhat the same line of work, I’ve been keeping a bulleted list… perhaps you’d be interested?). Krassus goes on to say that Wulfgar can fight back, and Krassus could have the slavers torture him for it, but he finds that idea rather pedestrian and thinks Wulfgar needs all his strength to survive what’s coming anyway. The more he fights, the longer it will take, and Krassus is, after all, on a literal deadline (and that is supposed to convince Wulfgar not to fight instead of trying to run out the clock?). And if Wulfgar tries to kill himself, Krassus will have demonslavers watching him at all times to put a stop to that. But, once Krassus is through with Wulfgar, he plans to step aside and let Wulfgar command him, and he’s sure by then that Wulfgar will be more than willing to do just that.
Dastardly Deeds: 102
Exposition Intrusion: 162
Tahiri: *crosses her arms* Yeah, Kwaad thought kind of like that about me, too. I took her head off. The moral of this happy little tale – you shouldn’t make a monster unless you’re sure you can control the monster once they inevitably slip the leash. Krassus then gestures for Wulfgar to stand and leads him over to the door to the balcony, where he summons a barrier of azure light and describes it as another example of your friend and mine, a wizard’s warp. Specifically, it’s there to keep either Wulfgar or Serena from trying to jump to their death, though Krassus will at least let them still enjoy the view, since he thinks taking that away from them would be cruel. Yeah, you’re a real saint, Krassus. Wulfgar promises he and Serena will escape, he’ll find his half-siblings and together they’ll kill Krassus (eh, you don’t need to find Tristan; he’s more a hindrance than a help, really. Shailiha’s not bad, when her author lets her do anything). Krassus actually agrees, thinking that Wulfgar’s blood (why is it always, always blood?) will drive him to do it, but in time his and Serena’s left-leaning signatures will make them see things his way (yeah, well, I had a lifetime of Yuuzhan Vong memories shoved into my head; it… well, it changed quite a bit about who I am, how I think and how I see myself, but what it did not do was make me rush off to pledge my allegiance to Supreme Overlord Shimrra, so Krassus, good luck with that). Eventually, you will both understand, and thank me for the wondrous world I have lain before you. And then I shall die, leaving the rest of Nicholas’s magnificent mission in your very capable hands. Yawn. I’d say I’d heard it all before and Wulfgar is better than this, but… it’s Newcomb. I’m sure however this ends, it’s going to be the worst, dumbest and grossest way it could.
Krassus turns to leave, then looks back at Wulfgar. He tells him that there’s still much he doesn’t know, things his mind and blood (more blood! Yay!) aren’t ready for. But soon he will be. In the meantime, Krassus will send Serena back in, and he doesn’t care if Wulfgar tells her everything. He tells him that they should enjoy the next few days together, and after that – and some experiments on the unendowed slaves – Krassus will be ready to begin with him. Be ready. Krassus then calls several demonslavers in to stand guard and then leaves, shutting the door behind him. When he’s gone, Wulfgar is overwhelmed by what he’s learned about the scope of Krassus’s plans (but which he doesn’t bother to share with us…) and then breaks down. Sort of. For the first time since his capture in Farpoint, a single tear overcame the lower lid of one of his hazel eyes and rolled its way down one cheek. And on that… rather overwrought and incredibly cliched moment, the chapter comes to an end. Yippee. Now, who can I hurt? I’m not feeling picky.
MG: Unfortunately, we have two more chapters to go today. The good news is, they’re both quite short. Onwards!
Chapter Thirty-Six
Irinali: And so, we cut to Shailiha as she goes riding across a field of barley.
The wind created waves in the sea of ripe grain, and the sun, unusually warm for this time in the Season of New Life, lit the tan stalks with sparks of gold and amber. Smiling, she took a deep breath. The field smelled fertile with the promise of a good harvest, and she could hear the rose-colored valley swallows calling out to one another as they swooped through the clear sky, helping to create the seductive but misleading expression that all in the princess’s nation was well.
Irinali: *makes a face* How… saccharine. And, beg pardon, but who exactly is tending these fields? This seems… improbably picturesque, considering what I’d been led to believe about the state of this country. In any case, Celeste is riding alongside Shailiha on Pilgrim, with Shailiha being impressed at how well she’s learned to ride in such a short time, and reflecting on how Celeste has told her that riding Pilgrim makes her feel closer to Tristan, how sweet. We then get a thankfully brief recap of Celeste’s nightmare and how she rushed to talk to Shailiha afterwards. Her feelings… had come pouring out, and at last they had finally crumbled away. And of course, we didn’t see that and had it related to us secondhand, because Newcomb doubtless lacks the skill to convey it properly. Apparently, this led her to let go of her denial of her past – which I saw no evidence she was ever doing – and accept it, and now she finally feels she has the freedom to enjoy the good things in life, and the thirst her soul most desperately wished to quench was to tell Tristan how much she truly cared. And to be with him. *makes another face*
Tahiri: *hisses angrily* Newcomb, let me tell you once again, in the hopes that you might someday get it through your head… it’s not. That. Easy. I’ll have you know that I nearly went insane trying to come to terms with what the Shapers put me through, that I was no longer fully human, and trying to reconcile my human and Yuuzhan Vong natures – and that was the beginning of my journey, not the end. Because the effects of trauma last a lifetime, and Celeste had three hundred years of it. You don’t get to just brush that away to pair her up with your favorite princeling. *she sighs and breathes deeply* There is no emotion, there is peace… there is no emotion, there is peace… there is no emotion… ahem. Sorry about that. Anyway, for now the best Celeste can do is to spend time with Tristan’s twin (huh; now I’m starting to wonder if Newcomb means there to be subtext between them, or…) so that’s what she’s doing now. Shailiha suggests that they stop for lunch, and they do under a nearby tree and lay out a lovingly described picnic that feels like it wandered in from another story entirely. Considering the last chapter was all about slavery, torture and mind-rape… pick a tone, Newcomb!
MG: I mean, that ship already sailed when Fifth Sorceress went from “happy frolicking in the woods with magic butterflies” to “kill-maim-burn-torture-rape fest” so…
Tahiri: *sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose* Fair enough. Anyway, as they’re eating the look up to see Ox and some Minion bodyguards circling; apparently at first Shailiha was upset when the Minions insisted on accompanying them, but now she feels safe and protected. Celeste then asks if Shailiha thinks Tristan is still alive, and Shailiha says she’s sure of it. You know, where I come from Force-sensitive twins often do have that sort of bond (I know Jacen and Jaina do!) so this isn’t surprising. *she grins nastily* Of course, among the Yuuzhan Vong, when twins reach adulthood they’re expected to fight to the death, with the survivor going on to gain great power and prestige, so… my money’s on Shailiha! You can take him; you know you want to! Well, Shailiha holds up her medallion and says it might just be intuition (Force-sensitives who don’t know what they are often call it intuition too, you know…) but ever since she was rescued from the Coven her sense of her brother has grown stronger, and she’s sure it has something to do with the medallions. Which might be more meaningful if we ever saw or heard anything about that before…
Contrivances and Coincidences: 37
Irinali: For myself, I find logic to always be preferable to intuition, but if it actually gets results… to each her own, I suppose. Shailiha goes on to explain that she knows Tristan is in danger, but she’s certain he’s alive and refuses to lose hope he’ll return, and she wishes the Minions could bring back any useful information at all. She also now knows that she and Tristan have another brother out there, no doubt currently suffering at the hands of Krassus, and she vows to bring him home, too…
MG: Which is… kind of hilariously and horrifyingly ironic, considering how Newcomb actually ends up handling Wulfgar…
Irinali: I’m somehow not surprised. Celeste tells Shailiha she knows in her heart she’s right, and wants to know more about Shailiha’s dead husband, Frederick (oh, right, she did have a dead husband… who I don’t believe has been mentioned at all in this book, lovely! Shailiha briefly reminisces about Frederick, mostly covering things we already know, and how she loved him, how he died at the hands of the Minions, and how traumatized she was afterwards. Finally, she starts explaining out loud about how Frederick was captain of the royal guards, how he and Tristan were best friends (because somehow even Shailiha’s dead husband is about her brother! My, my!) and how they always teased and competed with each other. Apparently, Frederick taught Tristan the sword, though she thinks Tristan eventually became more skilled (boo!) and it was Tristan who taught her (which of course we never heard about until this book, despite the siblings’ relationship supposedly being the emotional core of this whole series…) and he was the one who introduced her and Frederick to each other. When I first saw the stalwart officer in his splendid uniform, I was so smitten I couldn’t breathe. *whistles appreciatively* Well, there is a certain appeal to a man in unform… though that still feels like a rather stiff and impersonal way to describe Shailiha’s own emotions! And in any case, though Frederick is gone he lives on in baby Morganna (when did she last… matter, anyway?) for which Shailiha is grateful.
Tahiri: *quietly* Yeah. I’ve loved and lost too, and it’s not a feeling I’d wish on anyone. So Shailiha asks if Celeste really loves Tristan, and when Celeste is embarrassed, assures her that everyone in the palace can see it (which is… what, not counting Celeste herself the twins, the wizards, a few gnomes, Geldon, Martha if she’s still around, and whatever Minions are currently on guard? Not a huge list!). She then asks that since so much has changed for Celeste (boo!) what will she do when she sees Tristan again? Celeste admits she can’t wait any longer – she’ll tell Tristan what she feels, and they’ll see what happens next. The two of them sit quietly together for a while, then pack up their things and turn to head home. Shailiha looks up to see the Minions still circling and then calls for Caprice, and when the butterfly lands on her arm, the chapter ends. That was short.
MG: And the next one’s almost as short. Onwards!
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Irinali: And so, we open as Scars calls for the anchor to be dropped. As the ships do so, Tristan is left wondering how Tyranny can be sure they’ve arrived, since everything is apparently shrouded by opaque fog, but after taking a deep breath he realizes that he can smell land nearby. Apparently, Tyranny’s crew are itching to go ashore, though she’s warned the freed slaves to stay out of sight for a reason Tristan doesn’t understand (I’m starting to think that despite the name, “Sanctuary” is not, in fact, a good place to be…). Meanwhile, the crew are piling into longboats and heading ashore while Tyranny stands and watches them, having now removed almost all her bandages save one around her leg; Tristan thinks she’s waiting for something, but doesn’t know what. He finally asks if they’re going ashore and she snaps out of it and says they are, and calls for Scars to prepare her personal skiff. As they start to get in, though, Tristan grabs her arm and demands some answers, jaw hard with determination. *rolls her eyes* Oh, yes, threaten (implicitly) the pirate whose ship you’re currently a guest on – that’ll end well!
Tahiri: Sadly, Tyranny doesn’t pitch him overboard (don’t think I’d have had the restraint, myself…) and instead promises she’ll tell him everything on the skiff. They get aboard and set out through the fog, which is so thick Tristan can’t even see Tyranny next to him – spooky! – and he finally asks why she’s so unnerved, and why she’s afraid to go ashore when everyone else is excited about it. I don’t know – maybe she’s got some bad history here? Finally, Tyranny does admit that while she’s not afraid of this place – she claims she’s not afraid of anything, which seems more foolish than brave, but hey, if Captain Solo’s anything to go by pirates, smugglers and outlaws all have a bit of bravado about them – she also has genuine reasons why she doesn’t want to come back here. Tristan asks if she’s willing to share, and she explains that Sanctuary is indeed a pirate port – and a lot of the pirates who sail out of here aren’t would-be-privateers like her, but real marauders of the sea. These men, and in some cases women, make their living by plundering the honest merchant vessels that ply the coast of Eutracia. Whenever they take a ship, those captives who refuse to join them are put to the sword. Because of this practice, their ranks have swelled quickly. Well, I’m kind of amazed Newcomb actually admits that women can be pirates! Though on the other hand… does Eutracia, which, again, only learned it wasn’t the only country in the world literally last year, really have enough sea trade to make a life of piracy profitable? Since no one can cross the Sea of Whispers, wouldn’t trade ships just hug the coast as they go from one Eutracian city to another? If pirates are such a problem, how come the crown prince has apparently never heard of them? And why didn’t those wizards ever try to do something about this? By the gods, they really were useless, weren’t they?
Contrivances and Coincidences: 38
Exposition Intrusion: 164
Retcons and Revelations: 22 (apparently Eutracia had a thriving culture of piracy this whole time, and we’re only just now learning about it!)
Irinali: Tyranny goes on to explain that though Sanctuary was named by the wizards, its name suits the pirates just as well. Tristan wants to know how Tyranny knows about the connection between the island and the wizards, and apparently there’s a library here with books that explained the island’s construction during the Sorceresses’ War, but the base here was never completed and occupied (and, what, Wigg didn’t leave an alarm behind that would trip when the pirates moved in? He really is useless, isn’t he?). Tristan briefly wonders if the Scroll of the Vigors might be here, decides that would be too lucky (which has never stopped Newcomb before…) and asks if the library is still intact. Tyranny says it is, since most of the pirates don’t care about it and few of them can read (but it never occurred to them to try selling the books for profit, even after the wizards fell? Or even burning them?). But Tyranny says she never heard of Sanctuary before the Coven returned, despite having sailed this sea her whole life, and wants to know if Tristan has any idea why that is. He, of course, is completely clueless; no surprise there. He says she still hasn’t told him why she doesn’t want to come here (what, was “it’s crawling with lawless pirates” not good enough for you?). She explains that first off, she always has some crew jump ship here and sign on with one of the other pirate captains, which understandably she prefers to avoid. But, despite Tristan’s suggestion, she’s not so cruel as to forbid them to go ashore and thinks most of her sailors are basically good people, though it doesn’t stop the pirates from occasionally managing to recruit someone with promises (of treasure, drink, sex, and the like, I assume – that’s what most pirates I’ve ever met have been motivated by, at least!).
Exposition Intrusion: 166
Tahiri: And it turns out that Tyranny has another reason for avoiding the place, and that reason is named Rolf of the house of Glenkinnon. He used to work for Tyranny’s father, then became her partner against the demonslavers and her love. *nods knowingly* Evil ex-boyfriend. Who’d have seen that coming (besides, well, everyone probably)? Anyway, once they found Sanctuary he apparently decided he’d rather be a real pirate than a privateer and broke it off, and now he basically runs the place. Tyranny’s crew are welcome here, but Rolf is a jealous man, especially when he’s been drinking, so he might decide to turn on Tyranny herself at any time. And, as one might imagine, he’s a bully who rules by brute force, especially since he’s the best swordsman Tyranny knows. So, charming guy all around. And Tyranny, understandably, wants to give him a wide berth and get her business done here as soon as possible. She then leans in to whisper in Tristan’s ear that she’s not forgotten the money he’s promised her, and though she considered leaving him on the ship, she’s decided it’s safer to have him and his strange sword (his stupid showpiece, you mean?) with them instead. Yeah, and if he gets killed or Rolf kidnaps him you’re not getting your money, so… is that really smart? And of course, everything has to come back to how awesome Tristan is… But Tristan just snorts and thinks about how clever Tyranny is, and then the boat emerges from the fog and he gets his first look at Sanctuary… which we don’t see, because the chapter ends there.
MG: The biggest takeaway here for me is that this is where Krassus finally lays out (somewhat) just what he has planned for Wulfgar and what he intends to do with him. And if you thought that this plotline has been unpleasant before now… it’s going to get so much worse, trust me. Otherwise, we also have a brief interlude with Shailiha and Celeste (and confirmation that Celeste’s PTSD seems to be magically gone, ugh…) and a bit more backstory for Tyranny (which of course involves her having an evil ex-boyfriend, because she’s a woman) as well as our arrival at Sanctuary (which we don’t get to see, because these chapters are short and choppy). So, all in all… hardly the worst Newcomb has to offer, but a prelude to far worse things to come. And that’s all for today! Next time, Wigg and Faegan finally reach the object of their quest, and we’ll see just what Wigg’s deepest regrets are. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 145
Contrivances and Coincidences: 38
Dastardly Deeds: 105
Exposition Intrusion: 168
Gender Wars: 46
Gratuitous Grimdark: 37
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 65
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 61
Retcons and Revelations: 22
Warning: This post contains discussion of slavery, torture and mind rape.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Scrolls of the Ancients! Last time, Marcus and Becca tried to drive a hard bargain, Krassus located the Scroll, Tyranny decided to put in for repairs, and Wigg and Faegan inched slowly closer to fulfilling their quest. Today, we find out more about what Krassus wants with Wulfgar, just where Tyranny is going, and we return to Celeste and Shailiha for a brief stopover. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Irinali!
Chapter Thirty-Five
Tahiri: Back here again, wheee. And considering this is my third spork of this in a row, which you don’t usually make me do… yeah, I’m not looking forward to whatever today has in store for us. Neither is Wulfgar, as it happens, since we open with him telling Krassus that he’s insane. Even you, in the warped, twisted world of this bizarre island you command, cannot believe everything you have just said! And even if you do, such things are not possible! What you propose is monstrous, and I will have none of it, do you hear? None of it! *rolls her eyes* Yeah, because that really stilted little monologue is out an absolutely enraged and outraged person will talk. Sure. And I guess Wulfgar and Krassus are having their little talk now? Is this the one we skimmed over for some reason a few chapters ago and are now jumping back to, or is it a later one? Who knows!
Well, Krassus just smiles, gets up from where he was sitting and walks over to the window, watching as five more slave ships arrive and thinking about how almost all his fleet is here, save the ship Janus and Grizelda just left on to go fetch the Scroll. And for now they’ll be staying here, since he’s found Wulfgar and has enough endowed slaves for another, more esoteric part of Nicholas’s plan (nice word, Newcomb, but if you’re trying to convince me this book is smart… way too late for that, friend). He’s also got plenty of undendowed slaves for some other purpose, so he’s had Janus pass on the word to shut down the slaving operation for the time being. Hmmm; on the one hand, the slave fleet shutting down is a good thing… but whatever Krassus has planned for his slaves sounds like a bad thing. *hefts her lightsaber thoughtfully* I may have to pay a visit to this wretched little island after we’re through…
Blood Matters: 131
Dastardly Deeds: 94
Irinali: *shrugs* Be my guest; I won’t stop you. And so, we learn that Krassus gave Wulfgar a thorough inspection when he met him, and apparently likes what he sees!
Tall, broad-shouldered and muscular, Wulfgar had intense hazel eyes that burned brightly with both his innate intelligence and the strength of his uniquely endowed blood. His rugged good looks were not what one might have called classically handsome, but he carried with him a defiant sense of purpose, just as did the other two offspring of the late Morganna.
Irinali: *whistles appreciatively* I can work with that. And I’d give him a better deal than he’d probably get from anyone in these books… though from that description, I do have to wonder if Krassus is into Wulfgar, too? Though I imagine if he was, Newcomb wouldn’t be that subtle about it, because we’ve seen how he writes villains who are attracted to their own gender, so I’m going to assume it’s accidental. Krassus could barely contain his eagerness to discover just how strong Wulfgar’s blood would eventually prove to be. Then again, when you put it that way… Anyway, Krassus needs to consult the Scroll of the Vagaries before he can move on to the next phase of his plan; he doesn’t tell us what said plan is, but he’s apparently just finished explaining it in detail to Wulfgar, including the planned fate for all the other slaves, both endowed and otherwise, which the consuls are already overseeing the first stages of. Hearing said plan apparently provoked Wulfgar into such a rage he tried to attack Krassus then and there (now, now – a knife in his side when his back’s turned will be much more effective!) but Krassus, predictably, being a powerful wizard and all, tossed him aside with minimal effort. Now there was nothing he could do but listen to the impossible-sounding plans of the wizard with the long, white hair and the strange gray-and-blue robe. Now, we’re still in Krassus’s point of view… no idea why he feels the need to describe his own appearance, but I’m sure it will come to me if I think about it long enough! *beat* And possibly after I smack myself in the head with my staff a few times…
Blood Matters: 135 (for various references, starting with the idea that you can tell the strength of Wulfgar’s blood… because he has bright eyes? *shrugs in confusion)
Tahiri: Well, we find out that Krassus expected Wulfgar to react that way… but soon, his mind will be changed, and there’s nothing Wulfgar will be able to do to stop it… *her eyes suddenly narrow dangerously* Oh. Oh. This is why you wanted me to comment on this chapter specifically, isn’t it? Because this sounds suspiciously like what Mezhan Kwaad said to me before she spent weeks turning my brain inside out… *she glares at MG* You hate me, don’t you? You really do… Well, we then learn that Krassus filled Wulfgar in about his true parentage and history, including showing him his and his half-siblings’ blood signatures to convince him… and why are we having all of this related to us second-hand? This is Wulfgar getting confirmation of who he really is and why Krassus wants him! This is an important scene! Why is it being related to us so blandly after the fact? Does Newcomb not care about this at all… *she sighs* Of course he doesn’t. Finally, Wulfgar asks about Serena, since the freak Janus clearly wanted them together but never explained why. He wants to know why it was important that the two of them meet and hit it off. Apparently, get this, Krassus picked Serena for Wulfgar himself, by a command Nicholas gave just before he died… what? When did that happen? How did either of them even know who Serena even was? But apparently she’s smart, beautiful, and has endowed blood comparable to Wulfgar’s, complete with a left-leaning signature *hisses angrily*. Serena herself has been kept ignorant of all this, which is consistent with what we’ve seen of her thoughts, but Wulfgar is suddenly furious at how he and Serena were both manipulated, and worried for her since she was taken away earlier by the slavers so he and Krassus could talk privately.
Blood Matters: 138
Contrivances and Coincidences: 36
Gender Wars: 44 (Krassus clearly wants Serena only as an adjunct to Wulfgar)
Retcons and Revelations: 21
Irinali: Wulfgar thinks this doesn’t answer his question; Krassus says it wasn’t just about sex, and though if Wulfgar and Serena have a child that might be useful to him, it’s also not necessary. Rather, it’s because he plans for Wulfgar to be a conqueror, and every king needs a queen. The woman behind the throne, as they say. *arches her eyebrow* Really. Where I come from, a queen sits on a throne, not behind it… and I can certainly think of kings who remain unmarried, for various and sundry reasons! So, I cannot take your conclusions as seriously as you might like, O Krassus. But he thought Serena was the obvious choice for the role; Wulfgar wants to know why Krassus is so sure he’d choose her, and apparently Krassus thinks Serena is the only woman of sufficiently high, left-leaning blood quality here to satisfy him. And of course, once again it comes down to blood. And I think the animal handlers of House Vadalis may be more sentimental when describing breeding their beasts than Krassus just was about finding Wulfgar a wife. *applauds sarcastically* Bravo. Wulfgar asks if Krassus plans to do to Serena what he’s going to do to Wulfgar and Krassus says no – Wulfgar will do it himself, to make sure her arrival into your new world is perfect in all respects. *looking disconcerted* I will have you know that I am not an easy person to disturb – it goes with the profession; after you’ve seen as many corpses as I have, many of them still ambulatory, you become hard to shock – but there is still something profoundly unsettling in that wording. Wulfgar then asks why Serena was set apart from the other slaves like she was, and I would think the answer is obvious – the point is to keep her separate, since she is going on to a special position and shouldn’t be permitted to form bonds with the ordinary slaves, or they with her. And indeed Krassus explains that… and goes further.
As you will learn, the unendowed are little more than a natural resource for the endowed to exploit. Mere cattle, as it were. And becoming immune to the pleadings of those of lesser blood is an essential part of that realization. What better way to begin teaching her than to force her to watch her friends starve while she thrives? Besides, as I understand it, it was you who insisted she receive better nourishment. Perhaps you should have been more careful with your words, Wulfgar. You know what they say: Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it.
Blood Matters: 142
Dastardly Deeds: 97
Exposition Intrusion: 158
Gender Wars: 45
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 61
Tahiri: So, wait. We’re clearly supposed to see Krassus as evil – rightly so! – because he considers regular people to be “cattle” – but Wigg clearly couldn’t give a kriff about what happens to ordinary people either, considering how he made sure to save his own precious followers while leaving Tammerland to rot during the Minion attack and all. So… yeah, the hypocrisy is stunning. Wulfgar paces a bit, then angrily asks about that freak of nature named Janus (seriously, if Janus is the weirdest person you’ve ever met, you really need to get out more…) and where Krassus found him. Turns out Nicholas had suggested Krassus use an unendowed person to run the slaving operation, since they’d be easier to dispose of if necessary than someone with actual magic. Janus was just a mercenary Krassus hired in Tammerland. Wait, that’s it? That’s literally all the explanation we’re going to get for the creepy clown man we’ve spent the book building up as one of the major villains and has been all weird and mysterious and stuff?
MG: Yes it is! That’s the only explanation for Janus we’re ever going to get – he’s just a creepy career criminal and mercenary who dresses like a clown because he just does, that’s why. Isn’t it so underwhelming?
Tahiri: Boo, Newcomb! Boo! Anyway, Krassus can tell Wulfgar hates Janus and promises him he can kill him if he wants to after he comes into his power, since there are plenty more like him where he came from. So… does Eutracia have a chronic problem with killer clowns, or…? Wulfgar says he’d just as happily kill Krassus and all the slavers too, and that he’d enjoy it, too. *shrugs* I can’t blame him – I tried to choke Mezhan Kwaad on her own air (hey, you can’t use the Force on Yuuzhan Vong directly, so you’ve got to get creative…) which wasn’t very Jedi-like of me, but desperate times and all that. And I did cut her head off later; I’ll admit I was shook a bit to find I actually had that in me, but… all things told, I’d still do it again. But Krassus promises him that, eventually, he won’t want to, because he’ll come to recognize that he’ll need the slavers. As for Krassus himself, we all know he’s dying already. But the kicker is why he’s dying:
It came to me compliments of Nicholas, in the form of my rather inconvenient but very effective lung disease. A creative incentive granted to me by my master, designed not only to hurry me along in my work but also to grace me with the greatest reward of all: to reside for all of eternity in the embrace of the Heretics of the Guild. So, once you can, feel free to kill me. My fate is sealed one way or the other.
Blood Matters: 145
Dastardly Deeds: 99
Exposition Intrusion: 160
Irinali: I beg your pardon? Let me get this straight. Krassus is dying… because Nicholas did that to him on purpose. Nicholas deliberately put a ticking clock in his servant’s body that will kill him on a schedule, no matter if he succeeds or fails? Why? I repeat, why? What purpose does that serve? I could understand if the disease reacted to Krassus’s efforts, so that actively working towards Nicholas’s goals made him healthier while dawdling caused the disease to progress, because that would be an incentive. Killing him either way is, if anything, the opposite of that, giving Krassus no motivation to complete the plan and every reason to resent Nicholas for putting him in this situation! And if Nicholas was confident his brainwashing was so effective that Krassus would stay loyal even with an inescapable death hanging over him… why bother infecting him in the first place? That only ensures Wulfgar will be quickly deprived of his advisor. And what would have happened if he hadn’t been able to find Wulfgar on schedule and the disease killed him anyway, leaving the work undone? What is the point of this? Or the disease could have been a condition Krassus had already, or an unintended side-effect of all the Forestallments Nicholas put on him! That would have made sense! This… this makes no sense! I am professionally offended!
MG: Honestly, I’m pretty sure the real reason is “Krassus as a character only exists as a delivery system for Wulfgar, and Newcomb put a time bomb in him so he could be quickly removed from the story as soon as Wulfgar was ready to take over as big bad full-time.” Because that’s the only way this makes sense to me. And, considering certain revelations in the second trilogy, Krassus is not going to be becoming a Heretic post-mortem, FYI.
Irinali: *facepalms*
Dastardly Deeds: 100 (condemning your own minion to death for no good reason gets a point here)
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 64
Irinali: Well. Moving on. Wulfgar is understandably disturbed by all this, deciding that to go along with the plan under these circumstances Krassus must be a fanatic and a madman, which means he’s currently alone in a room with a deranged wizard. So, he decides to make the best of it and demands to know why Krassus is telling him all this, when he’s proven by the brutality of his methods so far he doesn’t care about hurting people in the name of getting what he wants, and wonders why he doesn’t just force Wulfgar to go along with him if that’s all he wants. Krassus then calmly asks Wulfgar what he’d do in Krassus’s place (I don’t think the poor man is interested in taking your place; as for me, as we’re in somewhat the same line of work, I’ve been keeping a bulleted list… perhaps you’d be interested?). Krassus goes on to say that Wulfgar can fight back, and Krassus could have the slavers torture him for it, but he finds that idea rather pedestrian and thinks Wulfgar needs all his strength to survive what’s coming anyway. The more he fights, the longer it will take, and Krassus is, after all, on a literal deadline (and that is supposed to convince Wulfgar not to fight instead of trying to run out the clock?). And if Wulfgar tries to kill himself, Krassus will have demonslavers watching him at all times to put a stop to that. But, once Krassus is through with Wulfgar, he plans to step aside and let Wulfgar command him, and he’s sure by then that Wulfgar will be more than willing to do just that.
Dastardly Deeds: 102
Exposition Intrusion: 162
Tahiri: *crosses her arms* Yeah, Kwaad thought kind of like that about me, too. I took her head off. The moral of this happy little tale – you shouldn’t make a monster unless you’re sure you can control the monster once they inevitably slip the leash. Krassus then gestures for Wulfgar to stand and leads him over to the door to the balcony, where he summons a barrier of azure light and describes it as another example of your friend and mine, a wizard’s warp. Specifically, it’s there to keep either Wulfgar or Serena from trying to jump to their death, though Krassus will at least let them still enjoy the view, since he thinks taking that away from them would be cruel. Yeah, you’re a real saint, Krassus. Wulfgar promises he and Serena will escape, he’ll find his half-siblings and together they’ll kill Krassus (eh, you don’t need to find Tristan; he’s more a hindrance than a help, really. Shailiha’s not bad, when her author lets her do anything). Krassus actually agrees, thinking that Wulfgar’s blood (why is it always, always blood?) will drive him to do it, but in time his and Serena’s left-leaning signatures will make them see things his way (yeah, well, I had a lifetime of Yuuzhan Vong memories shoved into my head; it… well, it changed quite a bit about who I am, how I think and how I see myself, but what it did not do was make me rush off to pledge my allegiance to Supreme Overlord Shimrra, so Krassus, good luck with that). Eventually, you will both understand, and thank me for the wondrous world I have lain before you. And then I shall die, leaving the rest of Nicholas’s magnificent mission in your very capable hands. Yawn. I’d say I’d heard it all before and Wulfgar is better than this, but… it’s Newcomb. I’m sure however this ends, it’s going to be the worst, dumbest and grossest way it could.
Krassus turns to leave, then looks back at Wulfgar. He tells him that there’s still much he doesn’t know, things his mind and blood (more blood! Yay!) aren’t ready for. But soon he will be. In the meantime, Krassus will send Serena back in, and he doesn’t care if Wulfgar tells her everything. He tells him that they should enjoy the next few days together, and after that – and some experiments on the unendowed slaves – Krassus will be ready to begin with him. Be ready. Krassus then calls several demonslavers in to stand guard and then leaves, shutting the door behind him. When he’s gone, Wulfgar is overwhelmed by what he’s learned about the scope of Krassus’s plans (but which he doesn’t bother to share with us…) and then breaks down. Sort of. For the first time since his capture in Farpoint, a single tear overcame the lower lid of one of his hazel eyes and rolled its way down one cheek. And on that… rather overwrought and incredibly cliched moment, the chapter comes to an end. Yippee. Now, who can I hurt? I’m not feeling picky.
MG: Unfortunately, we have two more chapters to go today. The good news is, they’re both quite short. Onwards!
Chapter Thirty-Six
Irinali: And so, we cut to Shailiha as she goes riding across a field of barley.
The wind created waves in the sea of ripe grain, and the sun, unusually warm for this time in the Season of New Life, lit the tan stalks with sparks of gold and amber. Smiling, she took a deep breath. The field smelled fertile with the promise of a good harvest, and she could hear the rose-colored valley swallows calling out to one another as they swooped through the clear sky, helping to create the seductive but misleading expression that all in the princess’s nation was well.
Irinali: *makes a face* How… saccharine. And, beg pardon, but who exactly is tending these fields? This seems… improbably picturesque, considering what I’d been led to believe about the state of this country. In any case, Celeste is riding alongside Shailiha on Pilgrim, with Shailiha being impressed at how well she’s learned to ride in such a short time, and reflecting on how Celeste has told her that riding Pilgrim makes her feel closer to Tristan, how sweet. We then get a thankfully brief recap of Celeste’s nightmare and how she rushed to talk to Shailiha afterwards. Her feelings… had come pouring out, and at last they had finally crumbled away. And of course, we didn’t see that and had it related to us secondhand, because Newcomb doubtless lacks the skill to convey it properly. Apparently, this led her to let go of her denial of her past – which I saw no evidence she was ever doing – and accept it, and now she finally feels she has the freedom to enjoy the good things in life, and the thirst her soul most desperately wished to quench was to tell Tristan how much she truly cared. And to be with him. *makes another face*
Tahiri: *hisses angrily* Newcomb, let me tell you once again, in the hopes that you might someday get it through your head… it’s not. That. Easy. I’ll have you know that I nearly went insane trying to come to terms with what the Shapers put me through, that I was no longer fully human, and trying to reconcile my human and Yuuzhan Vong natures – and that was the beginning of my journey, not the end. Because the effects of trauma last a lifetime, and Celeste had three hundred years of it. You don’t get to just brush that away to pair her up with your favorite princeling. *she sighs and breathes deeply* There is no emotion, there is peace… there is no emotion, there is peace… there is no emotion… ahem. Sorry about that. Anyway, for now the best Celeste can do is to spend time with Tristan’s twin (huh; now I’m starting to wonder if Newcomb means there to be subtext between them, or…) so that’s what she’s doing now. Shailiha suggests that they stop for lunch, and they do under a nearby tree and lay out a lovingly described picnic that feels like it wandered in from another story entirely. Considering the last chapter was all about slavery, torture and mind-rape… pick a tone, Newcomb!
MG: I mean, that ship already sailed when Fifth Sorceress went from “happy frolicking in the woods with magic butterflies” to “kill-maim-burn-torture-rape fest” so…
Tahiri: *sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose* Fair enough. Anyway, as they’re eating the look up to see Ox and some Minion bodyguards circling; apparently at first Shailiha was upset when the Minions insisted on accompanying them, but now she feels safe and protected. Celeste then asks if Shailiha thinks Tristan is still alive, and Shailiha says she’s sure of it. You know, where I come from Force-sensitive twins often do have that sort of bond (I know Jacen and Jaina do!) so this isn’t surprising. *she grins nastily* Of course, among the Yuuzhan Vong, when twins reach adulthood they’re expected to fight to the death, with the survivor going on to gain great power and prestige, so… my money’s on Shailiha! You can take him; you know you want to! Well, Shailiha holds up her medallion and says it might just be intuition (Force-sensitives who don’t know what they are often call it intuition too, you know…) but ever since she was rescued from the Coven her sense of her brother has grown stronger, and she’s sure it has something to do with the medallions. Which might be more meaningful if we ever saw or heard anything about that before…
Contrivances and Coincidences: 37
Irinali: For myself, I find logic to always be preferable to intuition, but if it actually gets results… to each her own, I suppose. Shailiha goes on to explain that she knows Tristan is in danger, but she’s certain he’s alive and refuses to lose hope he’ll return, and she wishes the Minions could bring back any useful information at all. She also now knows that she and Tristan have another brother out there, no doubt currently suffering at the hands of Krassus, and she vows to bring him home, too…
MG: Which is… kind of hilariously and horrifyingly ironic, considering how Newcomb actually ends up handling Wulfgar…
Irinali: I’m somehow not surprised. Celeste tells Shailiha she knows in her heart she’s right, and wants to know more about Shailiha’s dead husband, Frederick (oh, right, she did have a dead husband… who I don’t believe has been mentioned at all in this book, lovely! Shailiha briefly reminisces about Frederick, mostly covering things we already know, and how she loved him, how he died at the hands of the Minions, and how traumatized she was afterwards. Finally, she starts explaining out loud about how Frederick was captain of the royal guards, how he and Tristan were best friends (because somehow even Shailiha’s dead husband is about her brother! My, my!) and how they always teased and competed with each other. Apparently, Frederick taught Tristan the sword, though she thinks Tristan eventually became more skilled (boo!) and it was Tristan who taught her (which of course we never heard about until this book, despite the siblings’ relationship supposedly being the emotional core of this whole series…) and he was the one who introduced her and Frederick to each other. When I first saw the stalwart officer in his splendid uniform, I was so smitten I couldn’t breathe. *whistles appreciatively* Well, there is a certain appeal to a man in unform… though that still feels like a rather stiff and impersonal way to describe Shailiha’s own emotions! And in any case, though Frederick is gone he lives on in baby Morganna (when did she last… matter, anyway?) for which Shailiha is grateful.
Tahiri: *quietly* Yeah. I’ve loved and lost too, and it’s not a feeling I’d wish on anyone. So Shailiha asks if Celeste really loves Tristan, and when Celeste is embarrassed, assures her that everyone in the palace can see it (which is… what, not counting Celeste herself the twins, the wizards, a few gnomes, Geldon, Martha if she’s still around, and whatever Minions are currently on guard? Not a huge list!). She then asks that since so much has changed for Celeste (boo!) what will she do when she sees Tristan again? Celeste admits she can’t wait any longer – she’ll tell Tristan what she feels, and they’ll see what happens next. The two of them sit quietly together for a while, then pack up their things and turn to head home. Shailiha looks up to see the Minions still circling and then calls for Caprice, and when the butterfly lands on her arm, the chapter ends. That was short.
MG: And the next one’s almost as short. Onwards!
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Irinali: And so, we open as Scars calls for the anchor to be dropped. As the ships do so, Tristan is left wondering how Tyranny can be sure they’ve arrived, since everything is apparently shrouded by opaque fog, but after taking a deep breath he realizes that he can smell land nearby. Apparently, Tyranny’s crew are itching to go ashore, though she’s warned the freed slaves to stay out of sight for a reason Tristan doesn’t understand (I’m starting to think that despite the name, “Sanctuary” is not, in fact, a good place to be…). Meanwhile, the crew are piling into longboats and heading ashore while Tyranny stands and watches them, having now removed almost all her bandages save one around her leg; Tristan thinks she’s waiting for something, but doesn’t know what. He finally asks if they’re going ashore and she snaps out of it and says they are, and calls for Scars to prepare her personal skiff. As they start to get in, though, Tristan grabs her arm and demands some answers, jaw hard with determination. *rolls her eyes* Oh, yes, threaten (implicitly) the pirate whose ship you’re currently a guest on – that’ll end well!
Tahiri: Sadly, Tyranny doesn’t pitch him overboard (don’t think I’d have had the restraint, myself…) and instead promises she’ll tell him everything on the skiff. They get aboard and set out through the fog, which is so thick Tristan can’t even see Tyranny next to him – spooky! – and he finally asks why she’s so unnerved, and why she’s afraid to go ashore when everyone else is excited about it. I don’t know – maybe she’s got some bad history here? Finally, Tyranny does admit that while she’s not afraid of this place – she claims she’s not afraid of anything, which seems more foolish than brave, but hey, if Captain Solo’s anything to go by pirates, smugglers and outlaws all have a bit of bravado about them – she also has genuine reasons why she doesn’t want to come back here. Tristan asks if she’s willing to share, and she explains that Sanctuary is indeed a pirate port – and a lot of the pirates who sail out of here aren’t would-be-privateers like her, but real marauders of the sea. These men, and in some cases women, make their living by plundering the honest merchant vessels that ply the coast of Eutracia. Whenever they take a ship, those captives who refuse to join them are put to the sword. Because of this practice, their ranks have swelled quickly. Well, I’m kind of amazed Newcomb actually admits that women can be pirates! Though on the other hand… does Eutracia, which, again, only learned it wasn’t the only country in the world literally last year, really have enough sea trade to make a life of piracy profitable? Since no one can cross the Sea of Whispers, wouldn’t trade ships just hug the coast as they go from one Eutracian city to another? If pirates are such a problem, how come the crown prince has apparently never heard of them? And why didn’t those wizards ever try to do something about this? By the gods, they really were useless, weren’t they?
Contrivances and Coincidences: 38
Exposition Intrusion: 164
Retcons and Revelations: 22 (apparently Eutracia had a thriving culture of piracy this whole time, and we’re only just now learning about it!)
Irinali: Tyranny goes on to explain that though Sanctuary was named by the wizards, its name suits the pirates just as well. Tristan wants to know how Tyranny knows about the connection between the island and the wizards, and apparently there’s a library here with books that explained the island’s construction during the Sorceresses’ War, but the base here was never completed and occupied (and, what, Wigg didn’t leave an alarm behind that would trip when the pirates moved in? He really is useless, isn’t he?). Tristan briefly wonders if the Scroll of the Vigors might be here, decides that would be too lucky (which has never stopped Newcomb before…) and asks if the library is still intact. Tyranny says it is, since most of the pirates don’t care about it and few of them can read (but it never occurred to them to try selling the books for profit, even after the wizards fell? Or even burning them?). But Tyranny says she never heard of Sanctuary before the Coven returned, despite having sailed this sea her whole life, and wants to know if Tristan has any idea why that is. He, of course, is completely clueless; no surprise there. He says she still hasn’t told him why she doesn’t want to come here (what, was “it’s crawling with lawless pirates” not good enough for you?). She explains that first off, she always has some crew jump ship here and sign on with one of the other pirate captains, which understandably she prefers to avoid. But, despite Tristan’s suggestion, she’s not so cruel as to forbid them to go ashore and thinks most of her sailors are basically good people, though it doesn’t stop the pirates from occasionally managing to recruit someone with promises (of treasure, drink, sex, and the like, I assume – that’s what most pirates I’ve ever met have been motivated by, at least!).
Exposition Intrusion: 166
Tahiri: And it turns out that Tyranny has another reason for avoiding the place, and that reason is named Rolf of the house of Glenkinnon. He used to work for Tyranny’s father, then became her partner against the demonslavers and her love. *nods knowingly* Evil ex-boyfriend. Who’d have seen that coming (besides, well, everyone probably)? Anyway, once they found Sanctuary he apparently decided he’d rather be a real pirate than a privateer and broke it off, and now he basically runs the place. Tyranny’s crew are welcome here, but Rolf is a jealous man, especially when he’s been drinking, so he might decide to turn on Tyranny herself at any time. And, as one might imagine, he’s a bully who rules by brute force, especially since he’s the best swordsman Tyranny knows. So, charming guy all around. And Tyranny, understandably, wants to give him a wide berth and get her business done here as soon as possible. She then leans in to whisper in Tristan’s ear that she’s not forgotten the money he’s promised her, and though she considered leaving him on the ship, she’s decided it’s safer to have him and his strange sword (his stupid showpiece, you mean?) with them instead. Yeah, and if he gets killed or Rolf kidnaps him you’re not getting your money, so… is that really smart? And of course, everything has to come back to how awesome Tristan is… But Tristan just snorts and thinks about how clever Tyranny is, and then the boat emerges from the fog and he gets his first look at Sanctuary… which we don’t see, because the chapter ends there.
MG: The biggest takeaway here for me is that this is where Krassus finally lays out (somewhat) just what he has planned for Wulfgar and what he intends to do with him. And if you thought that this plotline has been unpleasant before now… it’s going to get so much worse, trust me. Otherwise, we also have a brief interlude with Shailiha and Celeste (and confirmation that Celeste’s PTSD seems to be magically gone, ugh…) and a bit more backstory for Tyranny (which of course involves her having an evil ex-boyfriend, because she’s a woman) as well as our arrival at Sanctuary (which we don’t get to see, because these chapters are short and choppy). So, all in all… hardly the worst Newcomb has to offer, but a prelude to far worse things to come. And that’s all for today! Next time, Wigg and Faegan finally reach the object of their quest, and we’ll see just what Wigg’s deepest regrets are. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 145
Contrivances and Coincidences: 38
Dastardly Deeds: 105
Exposition Intrusion: 168
Gender Wars: 46
Gratuitous Grimdark: 37
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 65
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 61
Retcons and Revelations: 22
