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masterghandalfMG’s Announcement: As my sporkings for Scrolls of the Ancients and Fellowship of the King will both be ending soon, I’ve put up a poll for what sporks I should do next over on my journal. Please check it out and do vote if that at all interests you!
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
Warning: This post contains an extremely unpleasant death scene.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Scrolls of the Ancients! Last time, Celeste totally got over her literal centuries of PTSD so she could be with Tristan (blegh), Abbey was finally able to scry the Scroll of the Vigors, our “heroes” recovered the Scroll, rescued the kids who had it, and killed Janus and captured Grizelda, and Wulfgar set off for Eutracia with his armada as Krassus finally died. Whew! Today, we begin the book’s final act, with Part V: Retribution. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Ash!
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Tahiri: Well, at least we’re in the home stretch, so there’s that (and hey, MG, are we ever going to get around to doing the second part of Rebel Moon?). But, because it’s the first chapter of a Part, we get to start with a quote! *beat* At least it’s not from Wigg or the Tome, this time? It is not for myself that I go forth to do this thing, but for all of those who came before, who tried but failed in their attempts to ensure that the Vagaries shall one day rule supreme. – Wulfgar Huh, that’d… almost be a powerful bit, if Wulfgar was following the Vagaries of his own free will and wasn’t you know, brainwashed into it and we were given some understanding of what they even stood for or why someone would want to follow them or consider it a cause worth fighting for. As it is, it just makes me think that even Newcomb is acknowledging how much his villains have sucked and how they’ve all failed miserably and died, and now it’s Wulfgar’s turn to try and make up for it.
Anyway, we cut to Tristan as he’s glad to be home – what, you’ve been home for several chapters now, or is this just “back from the marketplace,” which is kind of underwhelming – as he’s eating and drinking in the palace kitchens with the wizards and Marcus. Apparently, the gnome wives – urgh- were outraged at the state of Marcus and Becca and insisted on feeding them immediately, regardless of whatever the wizards might have to say about it. So… are we to take it that the wizards are opposed to feeding hungry children, then? What wonderful people! Tristan himself is still mourning Pilgrim, though he thinks to himself that he didn’t die in vain since they recovered the Scroll (which I’m sure the horse really cared about?). We learn that the Scroll itself is now safe in a vault under the Palace, while Wigg cremated what was left of Pilgrim, Worth and Janus – which apparently scared off the crowds, since he used magic to do it. Yeah, it really doesn’t say good things about the wizards that everyone in their country seems so instinctively afraid of magic, does it? We then learn that Wigg rescued Becca from the square (who knew he had it in him?), Grizelda stabbed Worth before she was captured, and they still don’t know who Janus was but hope Grizelda can tell them. Yaay.
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 94 (just giving a point here for the wizards’ general behavior and how everyone is scared of them)
Ash: Well, Becca is still too terrified by what happened to say much, so Shailiha and Celeste took her away to feed, bathe and comfort her, which… well, at least someone is doing that, and Shailiha and Celeste are probably the best bet for people who would actually take decent care of the girl, except maybe the gnome women. Can you even imagine Wigg trying to comfort a child? For the moment, Wigg himself is trying to question Marcus, who just wants his money, in between shoveling as much food as he can into his mouth (and considering what the kid has been through and how he’s been living for the last few months at least… I really can’t blame him). He also wants some of Tristan’s wine. Faegan is amused, and Wigg… literally levitates Marcus’s food away from him and sends it flying out of the room and into a corridor where it all falls together in a big ruined heap. *stunned* You, you… people are literally starving in this kingdom, and you literally stole food from a child who quite clearly needed it because he wasn’t answering your questions fast enough, even when we’ve proven that conjuring the money he wants is well within your ability. And then you literally threw the food itself out and ruined it. Goddess help me… “lend your aid to the needy” is one of the central tenets of the followers of Eilistraee, I’ll have you know! “Whacking insufferable wizards with the flat of my sword and then sending them to the corner to think about what they’ve done” isn’t, exactly (does that fall under the heading of “battle evil with steel,” I wonder?) but I’ll do it anyway, for free.
Well, Marcus stares at Wigg in horror (understandably so!) and Wigg asks him again for his name. Marcus gives his name, his House, where he’s from (Ilendium, if you’ve forgotten) and confirms that Becca is his sister and they’re orphans. The wizards remember how Nicholas destroyed Ilendium last book, and Faegan at least decides he actually likes the boy (but not enough to stop Wigg from taking his food, apparently…). The two children were apparently out fishing, which is how they escaped the “hatchlings.” Marcus also explains that his father was a very successful pickpocket and had been teaching Marcus himself the trade (which honestly makes me think rather less of Marcus’s overly complicated schemes, if he had actual training from a professional criminal rather than being a kid in over his head who was improvising!). Marcus further explains how he and his sister found the Scrolls in the wreckage of the Gates of Dawn, though they were so large Marcus was only able to carry one, and by the time he returned for the other one, Krassus had already removed it. He then walks us through a bunch more stuff we already know – how they got the Scroll to Tammerland and how they meant to sell it. Finally, he catches up to the fight in the square and says he’s sorry about Pilgrim. Wigg finally seems satisfied and sends for a Minion to take Marcus to his sister, to be cleaned up, and to be watched so he doesn’t steal anything (what about getting him more food to replace the meal you ruined, hmmm?). Marcus is stunned by the sight of the Minion, but before he goes, he wants to make a deal with Wigg, who claims he’s not in the habit of dealing with thieves, even young ones (please, Wigg, you’re far worse than any thief… and I know whereof I speak!). But Marcus wants to know if the wizards can heal Becca’s foot, even promising to pay Wigg the money if he can do it (to which Wigg retorts that he already has the money, and Marcus has nothing to bargain with… ass). But Wigg promises to do what he can and says it’s time to question Grizelda as the scene ends.
Exposition Intrusion: 250
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 97
Tahiri: As Tristan and the wizards head out, they pass the great hall where Faegan threw the explosion from last time (still wondering why he had to throw it into the palace…) and find this:
Krassus’ powerful light shards had caused the walls to crack and tumble in many places, and the ceiling was torn by a number of great, ragged holes through which the encroaching night sky could be seen. Glass, dust, and smashed furniture lay everywhere. A work party of male and female Minions was already going about the business of trying to return the room to its former glory, but that would take time, Tristan realized, if it ever came about at all.
Tahiri: The wizards admit that they couldn’t think of anything else to do with the blast and are lucky it didn’t bring the whole place down. *she snorts* Seriously? That’s the best you can do? So they come to the room where Grizelda is imprisoned in a warp; she, of course, sneers at them, and we get a loving description of how old and ugly and ragged she is. Tristan snarks about how he hopes she likes her accommodation, and he won’t force her to row anything here, but can arrange that if she wants. To be fair, it was Krassus who forced you to row, not Grizelda… but she was there and working for him, so, I guess it’s close enough? Grizelda in turn mocks Tristan, telling him that she has a new lord now (you left the Citadel before Wulfgar was even fully turned!) and won’t betray him, and soon she’ll be free again. She spits at him, and Tristan snarks to the wizards about how “charming” she is. Well, I hate all of you, so there! Faegan asks if they’ve captured Wulfgar and turned him to the Vagaries yet, and she… goes off on them a bit.
“You are quite wrong in assuming that Wulfgar is a prisoner of the Citadel,” she answered at last. “By now he is most certainly its master—as well as the master of all the demonslavers and the other creatures of the Vagaries that have been newly conjured for his use.” Raising one of her long, thin arms, she pointed an accusatory finger at the three of them.
“Blasphemers!” she whispered ominously. “Would-be destroyers of the sacred side of the craft! You can never defeat Wulfgar, for he already possesses powers that you could only dream of! He will soon set things right, just as they should have been eons ago. Things have been set into motion that you, in your feeble, exclusive practice of the Vigors, couldn’t possibly begin to understand. Things that even Nicholas himself left undone. Wulfgar is coming for you, of that you may be assured. And no power on earth can stop him.”
Tahiri: You know, it’s really amazing how all the bad guys in these books can gloat so much about their evil schemes without ever describing what those schemes even are… Wigg asks why she serves the Vagaries, and she confirms that Krassus put Forestallments on her to turn to the Vagaries, just as he’s probably done to Wulfgar, and just as Wulfgar may do to them if he doesn’t kill them outright. So… is anyone on Team Vagaries actually there of their own free will, or is it just mind control all the way down? Newcomb really doesn’t have a good idea of why anyone would follow the Vagaries willingly, does he? She then taunts Tristan about whether endowed blood is truly thicker than water, which seems… totally inapplicable to anything anyone is talking about, unless she’s trying to imply he’ll turn to the Vagaries just like Wulfgar did?
Blood Matters: 202
Exposition Intrusion: 254
Ash: Tristan wants to know about Janus, and Grizelda says he was just an unendowed servant and she can’t say she’s sorry he’s dead (so… he really was that unimportant in the end, I guess?). When they ask about the Scrolls, she refuses to answer, and so the wizards prepare some sort of spell to force her to talk; because she is only of partial blood, it shouldn’t prove too difficult. Amazing; elitist and creepy all at once. Lolth would be proud… The wizards start their spell, and Tristan realizes they’re going to try to probe her mind. Grizelda scrambles back in horror, and then suddenly clutches her head and starts screaming. And then she collapses in exquisite agony - gah! – and literally starts melting as the skin ran from her face in streaming rivulets to reveal the barren, white skull beneath. Her green eyes drooled their way out of the sockets and flowed down what was left of her cheeks. Dead, she collapsed to the floor of the warp. And then her blood pools everywhere and starts boiling, too. *stunned* Well, that was… sicker than usual. *shudders* Even Wigg is horrified, demanding to know what in the name of the Afterlife just happened; Faegan guesses it was some safeguard Krassus put on her, to keep her from talking or having her mind invaded by boiling her blood, especially in her brain, if it happened. *shudders again* Faegan recognizes the spell from the Tome but has never practiced this kind of magic himself – I’m honestly amazed – and so doesn’t have any experience trying to stop it either.
Tristan thinks that Krassus has been ahead of them the whole time (to be fair, that’s not very hard…) and the wizards guess that if Grizelda was telling the truth, then Wulfgar is returning to Eutracia at the head of an armada. They decide it’s too dangerous not to take the threat seriously, then head up to make plans as the chapter ends. *shudders* Good riddance.
Blood Matters: 204
Dastardly Deeds: 135
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66
MG: And honestly, it feels like the vast majority of this chapter was just getting Tristan and the wizards caught up on a bunch of stuff with Marcus, Becca and Team Vagaries that we the readers already know – oh, and for more of Wigg being a petty ass who literally steals food from children, and Grizelda’s absolutely horrific death. Seriously, I even have to wonder why Newcomb even bothered keeping her alive after the fight in the square if he was just going to kill her anyway, instead of having our “heroes” find out about Wulfgar’s coming attack some other way. Anyway, one more chapter for today. Onward!
Chapter Sixty
Tahiri: We open with Tristan standing on a hill overlooking the Cavalon Delta and the sea, having been flown here by Ox and some other Minions. We learn the Minion fleet has arrived with the captured pirate ships in tow, and we’re told that Tyranny, who hates lying around like a dainty lady in waiting (hey, that’s not my scene either, but I met some of those “dainty ladies in waiting” when we ended up at Hapes for a while after the fall of Coruscant – they survived a lifetime in the most cutthroat royal court in the galaxy, do not mess with those women!) and wanted to get back to the sea, so she and Scars came with Tristan. Tristan himself has already delivered both Tyranny’s reward money and her letters of marque, and she’s safely secured both on board her new flagship.
Back in Tammerland, the wizards and Celeste are busy trying to translate the Scroll and see if they can figure out Wulfgar’s plans, while Tristan himself has been helping refit the pirate fleet (which I guess mostly means “stand around watching while Tyranny’s crew and the Minions do all the work) with sails with the symbol of the Paragon and the House of Galland battle flag. He’s also tempted by the desire to return to the sea, which has become part of his blood and okay, girl from a desert planet here who’s still pretty distrustful of any body of water too deep for me to wade in, but… your experiences at sea were miserable! You were captured, enslaved, and nearly killed various times in multiple interesting ways! Why do you want to go back? Anyway, Tyranny comes hurrying over; she says Traax told her where to find Tristan and she wants to let him know she’ll be heading out soon. He shares a moment with both her and Scars, they all tell each other it’s been an honor and wish each other luck (and Scars promises to rip apart some demonslavers for Tristan), while Tyranny says she’s named her new ship the Reprisal. Eh, guess she sticks with a theme, at least? She’s going to sail to Farpoint first, to drop off the liberated slaves and pick up some new crew, and then they’re going to start patrolling to try and intercept the demonslavers and whatever’s left of Rolf’s pirates. There’s an awkward silence, and Tyranny finally says that Celeste is lovely and a very lucky woman (on the one hand, I’m glad they’re apparently friends now, but on the other hand… of course the love interest has to be praised) but she promises it’s not goodbye forever and she’ll still be back every few months as per their arrangement. She gives Tristan a kiss on the cheek, promises to always remember him, and then heads out. Tristan watches the fleet sail off over the horizon, and the scene ends.
Blood Matters: 205
Gender Wars: 85 (for Tyranny’s “not like other girls” moment)
Ash: We cut back to the Redoubt at night after the Minions have flown Tristan home. He heads down to the Hall of Blood Records to see the wizards; we’re told that Wigg and Faegan have enchanted the doors and cabinets down here so they can now be opened without magic, for Tristan and Celeste’s convenience since they’re still, somehow, not trained yet – and wow, they previously had enchanted all the doors to only open for a full wizard? That… doesn’t surprise me at all, actually. Oh, and the wizards are inexplicably called mystics here exactly once; no, I don’t know why. Tristan goes into the Hall and finds the Tome, which he starts caressing lovingly – gah, hands off the book, Tristan! – as he reflects on everything he’s been through lately. He knows he can’t read it without wearing the Paragon, but still feels an irresistible force drawing him to it and wow, he really does want to make love to the damn book, doesn’t he? Celeste will be crushed… Finally, he turns back to the records and announces his own name, which causes the paper containing his blood signature to come flying over to him (that works even if you’re not trained?). He studies the signature for a while, tracing the parts that come from both his parents and thinking that no one else in the world has an azure blood signature except for Nicholas II, who is dead. Which actually could have been a powerful moment, if you gave a damn about Nicholas while he was alive…
Tristan looks up to see Wigg come in; Wigg asks how he’s doing and what he’s doing here, and Tristan says he’s changed (how? He seems like the same twit he’s always been to me) and needed to talk to someone about it. He admits how much he’s started to hate his own azure blood (oh no, what a burden it is to be so special!) and how it keeps the wizards from training him, so he can’t fulfil his destiny. And, you know what, this really does make me think that Newcomb had decided the whole “literal blue blood” bit was stupid and was trying to find some way to back off it…
MG: Which he does, in the second trilogy.
Ash: Anyway, Tristan keeps on ranting about how he doesn’t mind that his blood is endowed (in fact, he loves it, which isn’t creepy at all), he just hates that it’s blue and goes on and on and I swear to the goddess I’m not making this up. Wigg says he understands and apologizes that they haven’t had time to find a solution; he doesn’t really know where to start, but he’s sure there’s a solution out there somewhere. Tristan then asks if they’ve learned anything from the Scroll. Wigg goes on to explain how Ragnar forced Celeste to learn Old Eutracian so she’s been able to help him and Faegan with translating it, and they’ve never seen anything like it. It opens up entire new vistas of the craft that had previously been closed to us. But Wigg won’t say what those are, only that he thinks they’ll have more tomorrow morning, and that if they’re right, they’re in the greatest peril they’ve ever faced (except for when the Coven nearly destroyed the world… or when Nicholas nearly summoned the Heretics back, which would have destroyed the world… you know, at a certain point that just loses all meaning). Finally, Tristan admits that he loves Celeste, and Wigg says that everyone noticed how he looked at her (yes, lustful ogling is usually pretty blatant…); Tristan admits he’d stayed away out of respect for her trauma, but now that she seems to be all better (not how that works!) he’d like to pursue a relationship with her, but he doesn’t want to complicate her relationship with her father, either. Even so, he feels like he loved her ever since he first saw her (which is, again, when she was trying to commit suicide… so romantic!).
Blood Matters: 208
Tahiri: And so Wigg watches Tristan in silence for a while, thinking of his destiny and the teachings that he’ll someday impart into his blood (which makes it sound like he’s going to, I don’t know, inject him with knowledge or something) and how he never anticipated how Tristan and Shailiha would suffer on their journey to enlightenment. *scoffs* Enlightenment? Don’t make me laugh! Tristan’s one of the least enlightened people I’ve ever met… Shailiha’s better, but I still wouldn’t call her “enlightened,” exactly. Finally, Wigg tells Tristan that Celeste loves him back and gives his blessing to their relationship. Looking up, Tristan sees Wigg is crying; Wigg hurriedly composes himself and says he has to get back to his research before Faegan and Celeste start worrying. You know how Faegan can be. *grimly* Yes, we certainly do. As they leave, Tristan thanks Wigg, and Wigg tells Tristan to treat Celeste well. Tristan promises he will; Wigg heads out, and Tristan stands there for a while longer, lost in thought, before heading back to his own room, knowing that soon he’ll learn what the wizards have discovered in the Scroll. And the chapter ends there.
MG: This one… is frustrating. The moment with Tristan and Tyranny… actually kind of works? The moment with Tristan and Wigg is clearly supposed to be touching, but is undermined by how much I can’t stand Wigg – and we just had a reminder the previous chapter of why that is, what with him literally taking food away from a hungry child out of frustration and all – and because Tristan spent so much time whining about his literal blue blood, which can’t help but sound ridiculous. Still, by Newcomb standards it… wasn’t terrible? Anyway, next time Wulfgar meets the Necrophagians and we finally learn, with only about 15% of the book remaining per my Kindle copy, what the bad guys’ plans are. Yay. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 209
Contrivances and Coincidences: 56
Dastardly Deeds: 135
Exposition Intrusion: 255
Gender Wars: 84
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 102
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 97
Retcons and Revelations: 26
And don’t forget to vote in the poll for my next sporkings!
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
Warning: This post contains an extremely unpleasant death scene.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s The Scrolls of the Ancients! Last time, Celeste totally got over her literal centuries of PTSD so she could be with Tristan (blegh), Abbey was finally able to scry the Scroll of the Vigors, our “heroes” recovered the Scroll, rescued the kids who had it, and killed Janus and captured Grizelda, and Wulfgar set off for Eutracia with his armada as Krassus finally died. Whew! Today, we begin the book’s final act, with Part V: Retribution. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Ash!
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Tahiri: Well, at least we’re in the home stretch, so there’s that (and hey, MG, are we ever going to get around to doing the second part of Rebel Moon?). But, because it’s the first chapter of a Part, we get to start with a quote! *beat* At least it’s not from Wigg or the Tome, this time? It is not for myself that I go forth to do this thing, but for all of those who came before, who tried but failed in their attempts to ensure that the Vagaries shall one day rule supreme. – Wulfgar Huh, that’d… almost be a powerful bit, if Wulfgar was following the Vagaries of his own free will and wasn’t you know, brainwashed into it and we were given some understanding of what they even stood for or why someone would want to follow them or consider it a cause worth fighting for. As it is, it just makes me think that even Newcomb is acknowledging how much his villains have sucked and how they’ve all failed miserably and died, and now it’s Wulfgar’s turn to try and make up for it.
Anyway, we cut to Tristan as he’s glad to be home – what, you’ve been home for several chapters now, or is this just “back from the marketplace,” which is kind of underwhelming – as he’s eating and drinking in the palace kitchens with the wizards and Marcus. Apparently, the gnome wives – urgh- were outraged at the state of Marcus and Becca and insisted on feeding them immediately, regardless of whatever the wizards might have to say about it. So… are we to take it that the wizards are opposed to feeding hungry children, then? What wonderful people! Tristan himself is still mourning Pilgrim, though he thinks to himself that he didn’t die in vain since they recovered the Scroll (which I’m sure the horse really cared about?). We learn that the Scroll itself is now safe in a vault under the Palace, while Wigg cremated what was left of Pilgrim, Worth and Janus – which apparently scared off the crowds, since he used magic to do it. Yeah, it really doesn’t say good things about the wizards that everyone in their country seems so instinctively afraid of magic, does it? We then learn that Wigg rescued Becca from the square (who knew he had it in him?), Grizelda stabbed Worth before she was captured, and they still don’t know who Janus was but hope Grizelda can tell them. Yaay.
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 94 (just giving a point here for the wizards’ general behavior and how everyone is scared of them)
Ash: Well, Becca is still too terrified by what happened to say much, so Shailiha and Celeste took her away to feed, bathe and comfort her, which… well, at least someone is doing that, and Shailiha and Celeste are probably the best bet for people who would actually take decent care of the girl, except maybe the gnome women. Can you even imagine Wigg trying to comfort a child? For the moment, Wigg himself is trying to question Marcus, who just wants his money, in between shoveling as much food as he can into his mouth (and considering what the kid has been through and how he’s been living for the last few months at least… I really can’t blame him). He also wants some of Tristan’s wine. Faegan is amused, and Wigg… literally levitates Marcus’s food away from him and sends it flying out of the room and into a corridor where it all falls together in a big ruined heap. *stunned* You, you… people are literally starving in this kingdom, and you literally stole food from a child who quite clearly needed it because he wasn’t answering your questions fast enough, even when we’ve proven that conjuring the money he wants is well within your ability. And then you literally threw the food itself out and ruined it. Goddess help me… “lend your aid to the needy” is one of the central tenets of the followers of Eilistraee, I’ll have you know! “Whacking insufferable wizards with the flat of my sword and then sending them to the corner to think about what they’ve done” isn’t, exactly (does that fall under the heading of “battle evil with steel,” I wonder?) but I’ll do it anyway, for free.
Well, Marcus stares at Wigg in horror (understandably so!) and Wigg asks him again for his name. Marcus gives his name, his House, where he’s from (Ilendium, if you’ve forgotten) and confirms that Becca is his sister and they’re orphans. The wizards remember how Nicholas destroyed Ilendium last book, and Faegan at least decides he actually likes the boy (but not enough to stop Wigg from taking his food, apparently…). The two children were apparently out fishing, which is how they escaped the “hatchlings.” Marcus also explains that his father was a very successful pickpocket and had been teaching Marcus himself the trade (which honestly makes me think rather less of Marcus’s overly complicated schemes, if he had actual training from a professional criminal rather than being a kid in over his head who was improvising!). Marcus further explains how he and his sister found the Scrolls in the wreckage of the Gates of Dawn, though they were so large Marcus was only able to carry one, and by the time he returned for the other one, Krassus had already removed it. He then walks us through a bunch more stuff we already know – how they got the Scroll to Tammerland and how they meant to sell it. Finally, he catches up to the fight in the square and says he’s sorry about Pilgrim. Wigg finally seems satisfied and sends for a Minion to take Marcus to his sister, to be cleaned up, and to be watched so he doesn’t steal anything (what about getting him more food to replace the meal you ruined, hmmm?). Marcus is stunned by the sight of the Minion, but before he goes, he wants to make a deal with Wigg, who claims he’s not in the habit of dealing with thieves, even young ones (please, Wigg, you’re far worse than any thief… and I know whereof I speak!). But Marcus wants to know if the wizards can heal Becca’s foot, even promising to pay Wigg the money if he can do it (to which Wigg retorts that he already has the money, and Marcus has nothing to bargain with… ass). But Wigg promises to do what he can and says it’s time to question Grizelda as the scene ends.
Exposition Intrusion: 250
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 97
Tahiri: As Tristan and the wizards head out, they pass the great hall where Faegan threw the explosion from last time (still wondering why he had to throw it into the palace…) and find this:
Krassus’ powerful light shards had caused the walls to crack and tumble in many places, and the ceiling was torn by a number of great, ragged holes through which the encroaching night sky could be seen. Glass, dust, and smashed furniture lay everywhere. A work party of male and female Minions was already going about the business of trying to return the room to its former glory, but that would take time, Tristan realized, if it ever came about at all.
Tahiri: The wizards admit that they couldn’t think of anything else to do with the blast and are lucky it didn’t bring the whole place down. *she snorts* Seriously? That’s the best you can do? So they come to the room where Grizelda is imprisoned in a warp; she, of course, sneers at them, and we get a loving description of how old and ugly and ragged she is. Tristan snarks about how he hopes she likes her accommodation, and he won’t force her to row anything here, but can arrange that if she wants. To be fair, it was Krassus who forced you to row, not Grizelda… but she was there and working for him, so, I guess it’s close enough? Grizelda in turn mocks Tristan, telling him that she has a new lord now (you left the Citadel before Wulfgar was even fully turned!) and won’t betray him, and soon she’ll be free again. She spits at him, and Tristan snarks to the wizards about how “charming” she is. Well, I hate all of you, so there! Faegan asks if they’ve captured Wulfgar and turned him to the Vagaries yet, and she… goes off on them a bit.
“You are quite wrong in assuming that Wulfgar is a prisoner of the Citadel,” she answered at last. “By now he is most certainly its master—as well as the master of all the demonslavers and the other creatures of the Vagaries that have been newly conjured for his use.” Raising one of her long, thin arms, she pointed an accusatory finger at the three of them.
“Blasphemers!” she whispered ominously. “Would-be destroyers of the sacred side of the craft! You can never defeat Wulfgar, for he already possesses powers that you could only dream of! He will soon set things right, just as they should have been eons ago. Things have been set into motion that you, in your feeble, exclusive practice of the Vigors, couldn’t possibly begin to understand. Things that even Nicholas himself left undone. Wulfgar is coming for you, of that you may be assured. And no power on earth can stop him.”
Tahiri: You know, it’s really amazing how all the bad guys in these books can gloat so much about their evil schemes without ever describing what those schemes even are… Wigg asks why she serves the Vagaries, and she confirms that Krassus put Forestallments on her to turn to the Vagaries, just as he’s probably done to Wulfgar, and just as Wulfgar may do to them if he doesn’t kill them outright. So… is anyone on Team Vagaries actually there of their own free will, or is it just mind control all the way down? Newcomb really doesn’t have a good idea of why anyone would follow the Vagaries willingly, does he? She then taunts Tristan about whether endowed blood is truly thicker than water, which seems… totally inapplicable to anything anyone is talking about, unless she’s trying to imply he’ll turn to the Vagaries just like Wulfgar did?
Blood Matters: 202
Exposition Intrusion: 254
Ash: Tristan wants to know about Janus, and Grizelda says he was just an unendowed servant and she can’t say she’s sorry he’s dead (so… he really was that unimportant in the end, I guess?). When they ask about the Scrolls, she refuses to answer, and so the wizards prepare some sort of spell to force her to talk; because she is only of partial blood, it shouldn’t prove too difficult. Amazing; elitist and creepy all at once. Lolth would be proud… The wizards start their spell, and Tristan realizes they’re going to try to probe her mind. Grizelda scrambles back in horror, and then suddenly clutches her head and starts screaming. And then she collapses in exquisite agony - gah! – and literally starts melting as the skin ran from her face in streaming rivulets to reveal the barren, white skull beneath. Her green eyes drooled their way out of the sockets and flowed down what was left of her cheeks. Dead, she collapsed to the floor of the warp. And then her blood pools everywhere and starts boiling, too. *stunned* Well, that was… sicker than usual. *shudders* Even Wigg is horrified, demanding to know what in the name of the Afterlife just happened; Faegan guesses it was some safeguard Krassus put on her, to keep her from talking or having her mind invaded by boiling her blood, especially in her brain, if it happened. *shudders again* Faegan recognizes the spell from the Tome but has never practiced this kind of magic himself – I’m honestly amazed – and so doesn’t have any experience trying to stop it either.
Tristan thinks that Krassus has been ahead of them the whole time (to be fair, that’s not very hard…) and the wizards guess that if Grizelda was telling the truth, then Wulfgar is returning to Eutracia at the head of an armada. They decide it’s too dangerous not to take the threat seriously, then head up to make plans as the chapter ends. *shudders* Good riddance.
Blood Matters: 204
Dastardly Deeds: 135
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66
MG: And honestly, it feels like the vast majority of this chapter was just getting Tristan and the wizards caught up on a bunch of stuff with Marcus, Becca and Team Vagaries that we the readers already know – oh, and for more of Wigg being a petty ass who literally steals food from children, and Grizelda’s absolutely horrific death. Seriously, I even have to wonder why Newcomb even bothered keeping her alive after the fight in the square if he was just going to kill her anyway, instead of having our “heroes” find out about Wulfgar’s coming attack some other way. Anyway, one more chapter for today. Onward!
Chapter Sixty
Tahiri: We open with Tristan standing on a hill overlooking the Cavalon Delta and the sea, having been flown here by Ox and some other Minions. We learn the Minion fleet has arrived with the captured pirate ships in tow, and we’re told that Tyranny, who hates lying around like a dainty lady in waiting (hey, that’s not my scene either, but I met some of those “dainty ladies in waiting” when we ended up at Hapes for a while after the fall of Coruscant – they survived a lifetime in the most cutthroat royal court in the galaxy, do not mess with those women!) and wanted to get back to the sea, so she and Scars came with Tristan. Tristan himself has already delivered both Tyranny’s reward money and her letters of marque, and she’s safely secured both on board her new flagship.
Back in Tammerland, the wizards and Celeste are busy trying to translate the Scroll and see if they can figure out Wulfgar’s plans, while Tristan himself has been helping refit the pirate fleet (which I guess mostly means “stand around watching while Tyranny’s crew and the Minions do all the work) with sails with the symbol of the Paragon and the House of Galland battle flag. He’s also tempted by the desire to return to the sea, which has become part of his blood and okay, girl from a desert planet here who’s still pretty distrustful of any body of water too deep for me to wade in, but… your experiences at sea were miserable! You were captured, enslaved, and nearly killed various times in multiple interesting ways! Why do you want to go back? Anyway, Tyranny comes hurrying over; she says Traax told her where to find Tristan and she wants to let him know she’ll be heading out soon. He shares a moment with both her and Scars, they all tell each other it’s been an honor and wish each other luck (and Scars promises to rip apart some demonslavers for Tristan), while Tyranny says she’s named her new ship the Reprisal. Eh, guess she sticks with a theme, at least? She’s going to sail to Farpoint first, to drop off the liberated slaves and pick up some new crew, and then they’re going to start patrolling to try and intercept the demonslavers and whatever’s left of Rolf’s pirates. There’s an awkward silence, and Tyranny finally says that Celeste is lovely and a very lucky woman (on the one hand, I’m glad they’re apparently friends now, but on the other hand… of course the love interest has to be praised) but she promises it’s not goodbye forever and she’ll still be back every few months as per their arrangement. She gives Tristan a kiss on the cheek, promises to always remember him, and then heads out. Tristan watches the fleet sail off over the horizon, and the scene ends.
Blood Matters: 205
Gender Wars: 85 (for Tyranny’s “not like other girls” moment)
Ash: We cut back to the Redoubt at night after the Minions have flown Tristan home. He heads down to the Hall of Blood Records to see the wizards; we’re told that Wigg and Faegan have enchanted the doors and cabinets down here so they can now be opened without magic, for Tristan and Celeste’s convenience since they’re still, somehow, not trained yet – and wow, they previously had enchanted all the doors to only open for a full wizard? That… doesn’t surprise me at all, actually. Oh, and the wizards are inexplicably called mystics here exactly once; no, I don’t know why. Tristan goes into the Hall and finds the Tome, which he starts caressing lovingly – gah, hands off the book, Tristan! – as he reflects on everything he’s been through lately. He knows he can’t read it without wearing the Paragon, but still feels an irresistible force drawing him to it and wow, he really does want to make love to the damn book, doesn’t he? Celeste will be crushed… Finally, he turns back to the records and announces his own name, which causes the paper containing his blood signature to come flying over to him (that works even if you’re not trained?). He studies the signature for a while, tracing the parts that come from both his parents and thinking that no one else in the world has an azure blood signature except for Nicholas II, who is dead. Which actually could have been a powerful moment, if you gave a damn about Nicholas while he was alive…
Tristan looks up to see Wigg come in; Wigg asks how he’s doing and what he’s doing here, and Tristan says he’s changed (how? He seems like the same twit he’s always been to me) and needed to talk to someone about it. He admits how much he’s started to hate his own azure blood (oh no, what a burden it is to be so special!) and how it keeps the wizards from training him, so he can’t fulfil his destiny. And, you know what, this really does make me think that Newcomb had decided the whole “literal blue blood” bit was stupid and was trying to find some way to back off it…
MG: Which he does, in the second trilogy.
Ash: Anyway, Tristan keeps on ranting about how he doesn’t mind that his blood is endowed (in fact, he loves it, which isn’t creepy at all), he just hates that it’s blue and goes on and on and I swear to the goddess I’m not making this up. Wigg says he understands and apologizes that they haven’t had time to find a solution; he doesn’t really know where to start, but he’s sure there’s a solution out there somewhere. Tristan then asks if they’ve learned anything from the Scroll. Wigg goes on to explain how Ragnar forced Celeste to learn Old Eutracian so she’s been able to help him and Faegan with translating it, and they’ve never seen anything like it. It opens up entire new vistas of the craft that had previously been closed to us. But Wigg won’t say what those are, only that he thinks they’ll have more tomorrow morning, and that if they’re right, they’re in the greatest peril they’ve ever faced (except for when the Coven nearly destroyed the world… or when Nicholas nearly summoned the Heretics back, which would have destroyed the world… you know, at a certain point that just loses all meaning). Finally, Tristan admits that he loves Celeste, and Wigg says that everyone noticed how he looked at her (yes, lustful ogling is usually pretty blatant…); Tristan admits he’d stayed away out of respect for her trauma, but now that she seems to be all better (not how that works!) he’d like to pursue a relationship with her, but he doesn’t want to complicate her relationship with her father, either. Even so, he feels like he loved her ever since he first saw her (which is, again, when she was trying to commit suicide… so romantic!).
Blood Matters: 208
Tahiri: And so Wigg watches Tristan in silence for a while, thinking of his destiny and the teachings that he’ll someday impart into his blood (which makes it sound like he’s going to, I don’t know, inject him with knowledge or something) and how he never anticipated how Tristan and Shailiha would suffer on their journey to enlightenment. *scoffs* Enlightenment? Don’t make me laugh! Tristan’s one of the least enlightened people I’ve ever met… Shailiha’s better, but I still wouldn’t call her “enlightened,” exactly. Finally, Wigg tells Tristan that Celeste loves him back and gives his blessing to their relationship. Looking up, Tristan sees Wigg is crying; Wigg hurriedly composes himself and says he has to get back to his research before Faegan and Celeste start worrying. You know how Faegan can be. *grimly* Yes, we certainly do. As they leave, Tristan thanks Wigg, and Wigg tells Tristan to treat Celeste well. Tristan promises he will; Wigg heads out, and Tristan stands there for a while longer, lost in thought, before heading back to his own room, knowing that soon he’ll learn what the wizards have discovered in the Scroll. And the chapter ends there.
MG: This one… is frustrating. The moment with Tristan and Tyranny… actually kind of works? The moment with Tristan and Wigg is clearly supposed to be touching, but is undermined by how much I can’t stand Wigg – and we just had a reminder the previous chapter of why that is, what with him literally taking food away from a hungry child out of frustration and all – and because Tristan spent so much time whining about his literal blue blood, which can’t help but sound ridiculous. Still, by Newcomb standards it… wasn’t terrible? Anyway, next time Wulfgar meets the Necrophagians and we finally learn, with only about 15% of the book remaining per my Kindle copy, what the bad guys’ plans are. Yay. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 209
Contrivances and Coincidences: 56
Dastardly Deeds: 135
Exposition Intrusion: 255
Gender Wars: 84
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 102
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 97
Retcons and Revelations: 26
And don’t forget to vote in the poll for my next sporkings!
