![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
masterghandalfThis is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
Warning: This post contains brief sexual content and reference to rape.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s Scrolls of the Ancients as we finally make our way towards the end – per my schedule, counting this post, we have only five more posts of actual sporking to go (not counting final thoughts)! Unfortunately, that’s still five more posts of Newcomb; urgh. Last time, Wigg reminded us why we all hate him so much, and Grizelda died a sudden and horrific death. Today, it’s time to check back in with Wulfgar and then finally learn more about what all of this has actually been about. Yaaay. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Irinali!
Chapter Sixty-One
Tahiri: Hey, almost done isn’t as good as actually done, but it’s still better than nothing, right? Anyway, we open with Wulfgar himself, standing on the prow of his ship with the wind blowing in his hair. He reflects on how the voyage has been uneventful so far, with Krassus’ sea creatures continuing to keep pace with them and the demonslavers going about the business of manning the ships themselves. He then reflects on Serena and Krassus; he’s sure Krassus is dead by now and recalls telling Serena the signs to watch for (you know, the giant blast of thunder and lightning…) and giving her instructions for how to properly cremate the body at sea. Wulfgar and Serena owed everything to Krassus, and he deserved to be well-remembered. *snorts* Yeah, you “owe” Krassus about as much as I “owed” Mezhan Kwaad. Which I paid back to her by taking her head off her shoulders, if you’re curious – though Krassus is rather beyond that now, and now that you’re evil, I don’t think Newcomb is ever going to let you go. *sighs heavily* A moment of silence for the people Wulfgar and Serena once were, I say. Then Wulfgar starts thinking about Serena.
He loved her deeply, and missed her as he missed nothing else in the world. Since she had been turned to the Vagaries, she had never been away from his side before now. He missed how she looked, how she smelled, and the supple touch of her skin. He wanted to hold her in his strong arms and take her over and over again, making her beg, then gasp, and finally cry out in joy, just as she always did… he would finish Nicholas’s work quickly, and return home to the Citadel in triumph.
Tahiri: …I’m torn between almost thinking that was sweet, being enraged about the brainwashing, and being grossed out by the language around him “taking” her. Ugh; Newcomb. His thoughts then turn to Nicholas and how he wished he could have met him, and how Krassus was so eager to die and go to his side (from what I’ve gathered, pretty sure that’s not how it’s going to happen…). But Nicholas’s plan lives on in Krassus and now Wulfgar’s blood (stop it, Newcomb!). The practitioners of the Vigors would soon know the exquisite sting of their defeat, as would the entire world. Yeah, surely after two books of the Vagaries suffering miserable losses because of their own incompetence, surely this time will be different! *fans self mockingly* Anyway, the ships come to a halt and Wulfgar orders the slavers to keep them still and bring the slaves to the deck, because they’re about to have company – oh, I wonder who that could be?
Blood Matters: 210
Gender Wars: 85
Irinali: I can imagine… some creatures I would actually rather like to meet, myself, not that I expect Newcomb to ever do them justice. And indeed the fog rolls in and forms into dozens of grasping hands which seize the ships, while Wulfgar watches in awe, preparing to be the first person in history to not merely witness this phenomenon, but to command it! *she sighs* Ah, Wulfgar – if only you’d taken this path of your own choosing, what a magnificent creature you might have been! But as it is, you are condemned to be no more than an automaton… He turns to watch the slaves brought up on deck, then turns back to the sea to see faces forming in it – they were the Necrophagians – the endowed, age-old Eaters of the Dead. And Wulfgar, per his own internal monologue, is the only living being who both knows their true origin and can command them.
MG: Weirdly, this just feels like an evil version of Aragorn summoning the Oathbreakers from the Paths of the Dead in RotK. Was that deliberate? This book would’ve come out after the movie of RotK, after all (doubt Newcomb ever read the original novel) …
Irinali: Questions for later, I think!
He stared at the faces. There seemed to be hundreds of them, their flesh a horrible mixture of sea green and dark red, streaked with ancient wrinkles and boils. Where eyes and mouths should have been there were only dark, empty holes. And then came the expected demand.
“Pay us our bounty, or we shall take both your bodies and your ships,” the faces whispered in the strangest of voices. There were many speaking at once in complete conformity, yet so softly that they could barely be heard.
Irinali: …I’ve seen worse. Wulfgar mentally goes back over the bargain between the Necrophagians and the Coven, and how the Necrophagians will let ships pass only if offered forty corpses in tribute. Wulfgar himself, however, calls down that he’s here to offer a new bargain, which will set the Necrophagians free – oooh! They demand to know who he is to offer such a thing, which even Failee couldn’t do, and Wulfgar reveals that he is the master of the Scroll of the Vagaries, from which he has learned their true origins. He tells them that he and the Heretics have need of them now, and if they agree to fight for him, their penance is at an end. The Necrophagians are stunned that the Scrolls have been found (or rather, loosed upon the world) and demand proof, which Wulfgar offers by levitating himself out over the sea and cutting his arm so blood starts flowing.
Almost immediately Wulfgar’s blood signature began to form. Raising his arms, he caused it to increase in size until it seemed to take up the entire night sky. Hundreds of Forestallments could be seen branching away from the main body of the signature, but there was one among them that clearly stood out, its massive length and width overshadowing all of the others. The magnificent Forestallment seemed to surge with life, as if impatient to fulfill its destiny.
This was the Forestallment Krassus and the consuls had worked so long and hard to find in the depths of the scroll—the same one Wulfgar would soon unleash upon his unsuspecting enemies.
Blood Matters: 213
Tahiri: …should’ve known it would’ve been more blood. Well, the Necrophagians are suitably impressed and ask if this means Wulfgar is truly the Enseterat, whatever that is. He confirms he is – it was supposed to be Nicholas, but he died, so now it’s fallen to Wulfgar, brother of the Chosen Ones, to carry on in his stead. He then explains to them what he needs from them – but doesn’t tell us, kriffing Newcomb – and the Necrophagians agree. They also don’t require the sacrifices he brought them, since if Wulfgar succeeds, they’ll have plenty of victims – and if he fails, they’ll eat him instead. Either way, they win! Also, they’re now really reminding me of the Yuuzhan Vong gods, both in their need for sacrifices and in not particularly caring who the blood flows from, so long as it flows… *in a softer voice, with that strange accent creeping in* for the gods hunger, and they must feed… *shaking herself back to normal* Wulfgar agrees and levitates back to his ship, and the Necrophagians release the fleet. The slaves are chained back belowdecks, and the fleet resumes its voyage, now with the Necrophagians following in its wake – and Wulfgar thinking how everything is going according to plan. Clearly, nobody has told this man he really shouldn’t tempt fate like that.
MG: The Enseterat, by the way, is the champion of the Vagaries – basically the Vagaries counterpart to the Chosen Ones. Why, exactly, this term is being introduced now when we’ve already had multiple potential champions of the Vagaries introduced is less clear (which, come to think, also makes Wulfgar seem like a second-stringer Team Vagaries only put into play because their first choice died, which isn’t exactly intimidating)… but my sneaking suspicion is that it’s only in this book that Newcomb actually started making up “fantasy-ish” terms and renaming existing concepts for them, rather than the rather blunt English names he’d given them before. Anyway, this chapter is now over, and basically all it entailed was that Wulfgar now has the Necrophagians in his entourage (and Newcomb continued his bad habit of stringing the reader along with revelations he teases but doesn’t, well, actually reveal). Onward
Dastardly Deeds: 137 (one point for the treatment of the slaves, one for the behavior of the Necrophagians)
Retcons and Revelations: 27
Chapter Sixty-Two
Irinali: And so, we open with Tristan, waking from having been sleeping like the dead – that can be arranged – to get dressed and think about how he’s hungry not only for the gnome wives’ cooking but also for Celeste’s company. *beat* Pairing those two desires in that way is not unsettling at all, why do you ask? He heads off to find her, only to literally bump into her, Abbey and Celeste in the hallway. Celeste was dressed in shiny black knee boots, black riding breeches, a white, low-cut blouse and black riding gloves. …actually, I want that outfit. Though I have a feeling I know why Newcomb dressed her in it… also, Shailiha is pushing Morganna’s ornate carriage (really?) while Caprice the butterfly circles overhead. We then immediately get a contradiction as Tristan thinks the three women are all looking at him like they know something he doesn’t, which he realizes is the change in the nature of his relationship with Celeste. *beat* Which he does, in fact, know about. Definitionally. But Celeste comes over to give him a kiss, while Tristan is sure Shailiha is going to tease him about this. *rolling her eyes* Ah, siblings.
Celeste holds up a basket with breakfast from the kitchens; Tristan tells her she’ll make him fat if she keeps bringing him food, which is rich from the man who literally just woke up wanting food. He also says he wanted to find the wizards and learn about their progress, which is… literally not what we saw him thinking about, I’m afraid. I’d say Newcomb was slipping, but that would imply he had a height to slip from… Celeste, however, wants to go with Tristan for a ride and a picnic… which is clearly the appropriate way to spend your time when doom is barreling down on you. *rolls her eyes again* And apparently it was Wigg and Faegan’s idea to keep Tristan occupied – why they need to do that isn’t clear – until they’re ready to meet him on his father’s private balcony at noon. And no, Shailiha doesn’t know why they want to do it there either. Knowing Wigg, it’s probably some pointlessly melodramatic reason.
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 103
Tahiri: Tristan doesn’t like them going behind his back like this (for once, I don’t blame him!) but he is hungry and he did want to see Celeste, so… off they go! First, he actually remembers to ask after Marcus and Becca, which is kind of amazing, considering how the Great Wigg was apparently treating them last time. Abbey says that Shawna the Short (seriously, enough!) and a Minion “overseer” (by which I guess she means “officer?” Unless we’re talking an actual slavedriver, in which case I swear to Yun-Ne’shel I’m getting those kids out of there now) are watching them, and that Becca is sweet but Marcus is a handful and has already tried to steal some silverware. But Shawna put him in his place and he’s apparently more frightened of her than the Minions, which is… apparently a good thing? *she shudders* Abbey doesn’t think he likes it here much – which just proves the kid has taste – and then Tristan decides to drop the topic entirely and head off with Celeste, after a patronizingly deep bow to his sister and Abbey. *beat* Sleemo.
They meet Geldon at the stables, who goes out of his way to let Tristan pick a new horse in the absence of Pilgrim, which he finally does (he also notably avoids the saddle and bridle he normally used on Pilgrim, which… yeah, I understand). We also learn that Wigg apparently enchanted Celeste’s picnic supplies so they won’t break or get loose (oh, now he does something useful!) and then Celeste and Tristan race out of the palace grounds, with Tristan amazed at how skilled a rider she is. *beat* Did… did she learn that from Ragnar? Because he really, really didn’t seem like the type, and while I’ve never actually seen a “horse” (look, I was raised by the Sand People – we rode banthas, and we liked it) but I don’t get the impression that they thrive underground. Anyway, we get several paragraphs of them happily racing through a meadow, until she finally stops by the bend of a river. There she dismounts, and they both let their horses drink and then tie them off, and Celeste starts laying out the food.
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 98 (I think everyone’s attitudes toward Marcus merit a point)
Tristan removed his weapons, tossed them to the ground, and sat down on his heels next to her. He saw spotted quail eggs again—hard-boiled this time—fresh fruit, cheese, dark bread, and what looked like unfermented mintberry juice.
He took an egg and began to peel away its shell. As he did the morning breeze came up, the stream burbled, and they could hear the songs of the triad larks. Looking around at the idyllic scene, Tristan wished he could stay here with Celeste forever, with no wizards, magic, or enemies to interfere with their lives.
Irinali: How… nauseatingly charming. Oh, don’t give me that look, girl, I have little enough tolerance for the saccharine even when it isn’t being written by Newcomb. And Newcomb’s continued insistence on awkwardly juxtaposing the shallow and twee with the grotesque and depraved continues to be one of his more inexplicable qualities. Tristan tells Celeste she’s spoling him, and she makes it plain she intends to, especially since he’s still thin from his ordeal. The mention of said ordeal understandably darkens his mood, and he admits it was awful – but that he knows it can’t compare to the literal centuries of suffering Celeste herself endured at Ragnar’s hands, which is honestly remarkably courteous of him, coming from this author. “You were the one thing on my mind as the demon-slaver whipped me, just before I passed out,” he continued softly. “I will always carry these scars on my back. But I had vowed that I wouldn’t scream, and I didn’t. Without knowing it, you helped me accomplish that.” Which is… something, I suppose. I’m not sure what it accomplished, beyond soothing Tristan’s pride, but it was something.
Celeste lays down beside him, and after a moment she asks if he really thinks Wulfgar and the demonslavers are coming. Tristan, in another moment of actual self-awareness (someone should take this man on picnics more often – it’s clearly good for his character and his cognitive functions), admits he doesn’t have any idea what to think about a brother he’s never met… but then he ruins the moment by telling Celeste he’s sure her father and Faegan will figure out how to save the day. *rolls her eyes* He asks Celeste if there was anything in the translations she helped with that might tell them more, but she admits it was all abstract magical calculations that went well over her head (perhaps if she had any training at all she might have been more help, Wigg). Tristan is about to tell her about his conversation with Wigg last night, but then she leans over and kisses him, described in loving detail for a whole paragraph. He was sure he had never seen such a beautiful woman in his life. Except, of course, for all the other women he’s described in almost exactly those terms… say, do you remember Narissa the Gallipolai? Because I don’t think she’s been mentioned in this book at all, has she? Celeste pulls away and tells Tristan she wants something; he asks if she’s sure, and she says she’s more sure of this than anything in her life. Please, Tristan… my love… please teach my desire to fly… to fly on the wings that you alone bring… I feel compelled to remind you that this woman is supposed to have literal centuries of trauma directly related to men and sexuality… but clearly, we’re past that now! She had one nightmare, and we all know that makes everything better! *beat* That, by the way, was sarcasm. Anyway, Tristan kisses her again and Newcomb thankfully fades to black. We cut to Tristan waking up, with a naked Celeste sleeping beside him, as he thinks that their lovemaking was more wonderful than he could have imagined. *she shrugs* Personally, I find it easier to keep such things strictly business, but I’ve also been told I have all the romantic tenderness of a seasick adder, so perhaps I’m not in a position to judge. He then notices the soft, azure glow of the craft surrounding them, and decides that this obvious manifestation of magic that might be affecting both him and his lover in unknown ways… is obviously a dream and goes back to sleep, as the chapter comes to an end. *facepalm*
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 104
MG: And so, frankly, this chapter existed solely so the wizards could delay their big revelations so Tristan and Celeste could have sex for the first time. Because clearly, that was more important than the literal fate of the world. *facepalms* Anyway, we have one more chapter to get to today in which the actually important revelations happen, so… onward!
Chapter Sixty-Three
Tahiri: We open with Tristan and Celeste arriving at the meeting and are told how sad Tristan is to be back in his father’s rooms and how he still grieves his death and what Kluge forced him to do to him and it’s just so dull I can’t even bring myself to care about it. We’re told that the wizards have arranged a long meeting table with the Scroll of the Vigors sitting on it, and another table has been set up with refreshments (which I assume the gnome women had to make, not that it’s specified). Everyone takes their seats, with Tristan wondering why the wizards wanted to meet here of all places, but before he can ask, Wigg starts talking, informing them all that the danger we now face is the most grave in our history. Except for the first book, when the Coven nearly destroyed the world… and the second, when Nicholas and the Heretics nearly destroyed the world – seriously, you can’t just have every threat be “the gravest danger ever” before it just loses its power altogether! But in this case, they’ve determined that Wulfgar is returning to Eutracia with an army of demonslavers at his back and intends to destroy the Orb of the Vigors. In a matter of days, all we know and cherish may perish from the earth. And we have a third “the bad guys might destroy the world!” Seriously, Newcomb, get some new material. And in case you’ve forgotten what the “Orb of the Vigors” is, because I think it’s barely been talked about this whole book, Tristan is here to remind us:
Stunned, Tristan sat back in his chair. He could clearly recall that day on the mountain not so long ago, when Wigg had called the two orbs to appear so that Tristan might view them for the first time. The Orb of the Vigors had been bright, shining, and golden, while the Orb of the Vagaries had been black, and literally dripping with the destructive energy of the dark side of the craft.
Tahiri: So, I guess the orbs are… literal things and not just symbolic visions, then? Huh. You know, I’m pretty sure the Force isn’t a magic floaty ball somewhere (and if it is, I’ll be very disappointed). It’s… the Force. By definition, it’s everywhere. I think that makes a lot more sense, if you ask me. Which these people clearly aren’t. Tristan wants to know how and why, and Faegan says it’s possible with the power of the Scrolls, which is why Krassus has been after them this whole time. When Shailiha asks for more clarification, we get this massive wall of arcanobabble:
“That,” Wigg answered, “and a good deal more. In many ways it is easier to tell you what the scrolls cannot show us, rather than what they can. In essence, the scroll before you holds the calculations for virtually every known Forestallment of the Vigors, just as we believe the scroll in Krassus’ possession does for the Vagaries. By employing the calculations gleaned from the scrolls, one can identify any already existing Forestallment branch that shoots off from a person’s blood signature. The Forestallment branches can now be ‘mapped,’ as it were. In addition, whoever is in possession of the scrolls can actually not only decipher the calculations required for any Forestallment he or she desires, but can also imbue the blood signature with it and activate it at any time of his choosing.”
“But there is even more to the puzzle,” Faegan said, leaning over the table. “The scroll also reveals the answers to many of the mysteries of the craft that have plagued us for centuries. In truth, we have only had enough time to scratch the surface of what the scroll may tell us. Reading the document is an amazing experience—like looking into the very souls of the Ones Who Came Before. We now believe it was they who wrote the Scroll of the Vigors, and the Heretics of the Guild who wrote the other. Neither side expected to use the information to destroy the orb that supported their side of the craft, of course. But by including the opposite formula in each one, it seems they could assure themselves of mutual mass destruction in their struggle against one another, should the need arise. Simply put, each scroll was meant to be both a safeguard and a weapon for future generations of the craft to protect themselves with, should its opposite ever be found and used against them.”
Exposition Intrusion: 260
Irinali: Even my eyes were glazing over at that, mostly because Wigg and Faegan have mastered the fine art of rambling far, far longer than they need to before getting to the point. But, to make a long story short, the Scrolls include the formulae for every possible Forestallment you can do with their branch of magic, which includes the ability to destroy the “orbs” of the Vigors and Vagaries. Wigg goes on to explain, still with far more words than are strictly necessary, that it was the Scrolls that gave Nicholas the knowledge of how to undo the death enchantments that prevented the Consuls from practicing the Vagaries, and then Faegan gives an even more needlessly wordy explanation of how the explosions that occur at the deaths of the Coven, their creatures and other powerful Vagaries users are actually the result of the Forestallments in their blood dying. Tristan then repeats that Wulfgar intends to destroy the Orb of the Vigors and this is why Krassus needed the Scrolls, apparently just to make sure we got the idea through our heads *rolls her eyes*. And Wigg confirms it and guesses that this was always Nicholas’s ultimate plan (which is why we had… no real indication of it that I can recall in the previous book?) and executing it fell to Krassus after Nicholas died.
Tristan wonders how, out of all the Forestallments in the Scrolls, the wizards can be so sure that this specific thing is what Wulfgar is after – an excellent question – so Faegan explains. The Forestallment for destroying the Orb of the Vagaries is the most complex by far in the Scroll of the Vigors, so they presume that the one for destroying the Orb of the Vigors must be the same in the other scroll (which seems like quite an assumption, considering you have only the one Scroll to work with and have no idea what is in the other one!). Tristan thinks back on his conversations with Nicholas, and though we’re not shown him thinking about what about those interactions makes him think this, he decides that this was indeed obviously Nicholas’s goal and is now Wulfgar’s. Oh, Newcomb. You never fail to find new ways to disappoint… such as by properly introducing the book’s main conflict when it is literally 87 percent done. So it’s perhaps unsurprising this feels rather… compressed. Finally, the wizards ask Tristan why he thinks that, and so he reflects again on Nicholas’s grandiose monologuing, recalling how he said that he and the Heretics intended to destroy the Vigors forever. It still seems a stretch to assume that the Heretics, supposedly beings of literal godlike power, would require this exact magic to destroy their opposing power, but I presume this is correct because the book is almost over. *she sighs heavily* Tristan also guesses that they intended to kill everyone with a right-leaning blood signature (which they did not say, because the concept of left and right blood signatures was only introduced in this book). And of course, Wulfgar, as Morganna’s son and the twins’ half-brother, possesses great innate power but also a strongly left-leaning signature that made him easy to turn, and so he was apparently the perfect choice to follow in Nicholas’s footsteps. And Newcomb says all of this in a far more long-winded way, believe me.
Blood Matters: 215
Exposition Intrusion: 265
Retcons and Revelations: 28
Tahiri: Whee. And people say I talk too much… Wigg and Faegan share a look and agree that Tristan is probably right about them being right and for once Faegan is sorry about being right and urgh, get to the point already! Anyway, they think Wulfgar will come here first, to try and retrieve the Scroll of the Vigors before they can use it, since Janus and Grizelda failed. Shailiha and Celeste then jump in since they both want to know more about the orbs. Which of course sets Wigg off again:
“Magic is everywhere,” Wigg answered. “Even though it cannot be seen. In this aspect it is very much like the air we breathe, constantly surrounding us but invisible. In truth, however, magic has substance and shape, as does the air. Let me be clear: I’m speaking of the craft itself, of what it really is. There is a true, interwoven consistency to its energy and its existence, and it can be literally seen, each of the two sides, both the Vigors and the Vagaries. This is the reason we asked you to meet us here on the balcony, rather than in the depths of the Redoubt. So we could show you this wondrous thing firsthand, that you might better understand what it is we must bend every effort to try to protect.” Wigg then closed his eyes and raised his arms, as if in supplication.
The sky began to lighten. As it did, a gigantic glow began to coalesce before them in the air of the courtyard. Slowly it started to spin and turn on its axis. It was becoming a brilliant, golden orb, with offshoots here and there of the palest white radiating outward from its center. From time to time golden droplets of energy would trickle down from the revolving orb and fall to the courtyard, dissipating into nothingness. For the second time in his life, Tristan found himself looking in awe at the Orb of the Vigors.
Wigg raised his arms again, and a darker image began to form. As it grew in size to match the other orb, it too began to coalesce into an orb and spin, but rather than being beautiful and awe-inspiring, the dark orb gave off a distinctly menacing aura—frightening, even horrifying.
As they watched the dark orb grow to the size of the Orb of the Vigors, it began to try to push the other orb aside, as if attempting to make room for itself. It was as frightening as the Orb of the Vigors was beautiful. Droplets of dark energy dripped from its pitch-black, shining sides, and bright scratches of lightning shot through the ebony orb’s center. The Orb of the Vagaries, Tristan thought. The dark side of the craft in all its ghastly splendor.
Tahiri: So, magic is literally two glowing balls just… flying in the sky waiting for some wizard to summon them down so everyone can gawk at them? This… this really isn’t a metaphor, this is literally true? Just… huh? Anyway, everyone is fascinated as the two orbs circle each other and keep trying to get close to each other, but are repelled like they’re magnetized. Wigg explains how all things have their opposites – light and dark, male and female (*singsong* one of those isn’t like the other!) etc. – and so does magic. He goes on that for as long as they know it the two sides have wanted to merge but can’t, and if they did touch he thinks it would set off a chain reaction that would destroy the world. Only the Chosen One can join them safely.
MG: Eh, not so much. But that’s more for the second trilogy.
Tahiri: Great. Wigg makes the Orbs disappear, and Abbey asks what happens if only one of the orbs is destroyed. Wigg, for once, admits they’ not sure, but he thinks that if the Orb of the Vigors vanished the Vigors would cease functioning, and everyone sustained by Vigors-based time enchantments would die instantly (I can think of two I’d not miss…) and the Vagaries would reign supreme with Wulfgar as its master. Which… is bad, I guess? Maybe if Newcomb had ever actually bothered to explain anything about how the Vagaries actually work and what makes them bad beyond bad people using them, this might be a lot scarier? Tristan wonders why they can’t just use the scroll they have to destroy the Vagaries instead. Wigg admits it’s tempting, but the destiny of the Chosen One is to combine the Vigors and Vagaries, and if there aren’t any Vagaries to combine, that means he can’t fulfil his destiny. *beat* So it’s “because the prophecy says so” again? Urgh – how disappointing!
Contrivances and Coincidences: 57
Exposition Intrusion: 270
Irinali: In any case, this means that Team Vigors has to preserve both sides of magic, while Team Vagaries has the easier task, since they only have to preserve their side. And Newcomb couldn’t tell us the long-term negative consequences of destroying the Vagaries because…? Geldon wants to know just how Wulfgar will destroy the Vigors, and Wigg isn’t sure from the Scroll exactly what will happen, save that it involves something called an “isthmus,” by which it doesn’t seem he means a land bridge – he guesses it’s some sort of partial joining of the orbs that doesn’t let them touch directly, which seems like a fair enough guess, actually. He then launches yet another long-winded explanation of how the orbs only appear in Eutracia and cannot be made to manifest over the Tolenka Mountains or the Sea of Whispers (or, presumably, Parthalon) which he can only guess is because the Chosen Ones were to be born in Eutracia. Because even cosmic forces are bent around our fool of a protagonist and his insipid destiny, apparently. Where I come from, the planes orbit and overlap with the material world on their own time and according to their own cycles and care little for the doings of mortals, thank you. Far more sensible. But what that means is that Wulfgar actually has to come to Eutracia to carry out his plans.
Traax then speaks up, promising that no fighting force can match the Minions and they’ll turn him back. Tristan, having seen the demonslavers fight, thinks they’ll be a match for the Minions even though they can’t fly (what’s stopping the Minions from hovering out of reach and pelting the slavers with arrows or stones… isn’t addressed) especially with a full-fledged wizard of Morganna’s blood leading them. He asks Wigg and Faegan if they can match Wulfgar, and they admit they’re not sure if they can stand up against the Enseterat, and when Tristan asks they explain that this means “Lord of the Vagaries” in Old Eutracian and this is the title Wulfgar is to be known by since he’s now been imbued with the full power of his Forestallments. Tristan and Shailiha have also been prophesied to bear special titles, Jin’sai and Jin’saiou, which are the masculine and feminine forms of “Combiner of the Arts.” How… special. Wigg says that they first heard those titles from the watchwoman of the hidden gardens, but only in studying the Scroll did they learn their meaning.
MG: And yes, this definitely can’t help but feel like another case of Newcomb trying to replace some of his older, more generic names with more “fantasy-ish” ones, like we already saw talis and r’talis for unendowed and endowed blood. But it comes so late, and is so blatant, that it doesn’t really feel like it works – like Newcomb was just saying “oops” and correcting it at the last minute.
Blood Matters: 216
Exposition Intrusion: 275
Retcons and Revelations: 30
Tahiri: Shailiha wants to know why they’re supposed to have those titles and, uh, isn’t it because “combining the arts” is what you’re prophesied to do? But Faegan rattles off some random gobbledygook about the titles being so that other magical beings they encounter will know who they are, which doesn’t really explain anything, but whatever. Tristan orders the Minions to deploy their fleet to intercept the slavers, which Wigg agrees with. Tristan rattles off some more orders about how Traax is to form up the fleet at the delta, hold position, and send out scouts to watch for Wulfgar’s fleet to approach and send a message to him when they do, because I guess after one voyage he’s an expert at naval warfare now (by that logic, one flight would make me a master star pilot, which as Corran can tell you I am not – seriously, don’t ask). Tristan also remembers being impressed by K’Jarr at the pirate battle and tells Traax to keep him available for special use, oh my. Tristan also wants a special litter built. Traax salutes and gives his usual “I live to serve” bit; while all this is going on, the wizards will be trying to figure out how to neutralize Wulfgar’s Forestallments, though because of the complexity of the magic and the strength of his blood (urgh) they can’t be sure they’ll manage it. Tristan sends Traax out and he flies off the balcony, then watches him go. His mind turns back to K’Jarr and he thinks they might have a way to win, something he hasn’t mentioned to the wizards yet – and then the chapter ends as he thinks about how alone he feels even among friends and family (for… some reason? Seriously, why are you feeling isolated right at this moment, Tristan?) and the chapter, finally, comes to an end.
MG: Ooof. This one was… rather painful, honestly, mostly because of how dull it was. The wizards’ exposition felt especially bad this time, full of padding and rambling that made it far longer than it needed to be to say what it actually said, while a lot of stuff is just glossed over or handwaved. And, like we’ve already established, the book is nearly done and we’re only now learning what the main conflict actually is about? Newcomb… you are aware that’s far, far too late for us to actually care, right? Especially considering the orbs of the Vigors and Vagaries have barely even been a thing since Wigg introduced them way back near the beginning of Fifth Sorceress, and this is I think the first time it’s actually made clear they’re literal things (and yes, all magic comes from flying balls in the air over Eutracia that aren’t actually moons) and not just a handy visual aid he conjured. Seriously, we should have spent a lot more time building up this, and less on pirates and slavers and creepy mind control (and we still should’ve had Wulfgar join the Vagaries of his own free will, so we’d have some idea of why anyone would want to do this and what they stand to gain from it). Sigh. Next time, we have yet more preparations for the final confrontation as Wulfgar continues his advance towards Eutracia… and we also meet a character we really should have met long before this, if only Newcomb was actually interested in them or their organization at all. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 218
Contrivances and Coincidences: 58
Dastardly Deeds: 137
Exposition Intrusion: 278
Gender Wars: 85
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 104
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 98
Retcons and Revelations: 29
Warning: This post contains brief sexual content and reference to rape.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Robert Newcomb’s Scrolls of the Ancients as we finally make our way towards the end – per my schedule, counting this post, we have only five more posts of actual sporking to go (not counting final thoughts)! Unfortunately, that’s still five more posts of Newcomb; urgh. Last time, Wigg reminded us why we all hate him so much, and Grizelda died a sudden and horrific death. Today, it’s time to check back in with Wulfgar and then finally learn more about what all of this has actually been about. Yaaay. Joining us today will be Tahiri and Irinali!
Chapter Sixty-One
Tahiri: Hey, almost done isn’t as good as actually done, but it’s still better than nothing, right? Anyway, we open with Wulfgar himself, standing on the prow of his ship with the wind blowing in his hair. He reflects on how the voyage has been uneventful so far, with Krassus’ sea creatures continuing to keep pace with them and the demonslavers going about the business of manning the ships themselves. He then reflects on Serena and Krassus; he’s sure Krassus is dead by now and recalls telling Serena the signs to watch for (you know, the giant blast of thunder and lightning…) and giving her instructions for how to properly cremate the body at sea. Wulfgar and Serena owed everything to Krassus, and he deserved to be well-remembered. *snorts* Yeah, you “owe” Krassus about as much as I “owed” Mezhan Kwaad. Which I paid back to her by taking her head off her shoulders, if you’re curious – though Krassus is rather beyond that now, and now that you’re evil, I don’t think Newcomb is ever going to let you go. *sighs heavily* A moment of silence for the people Wulfgar and Serena once were, I say. Then Wulfgar starts thinking about Serena.
He loved her deeply, and missed her as he missed nothing else in the world. Since she had been turned to the Vagaries, she had never been away from his side before now. He missed how she looked, how she smelled, and the supple touch of her skin. He wanted to hold her in his strong arms and take her over and over again, making her beg, then gasp, and finally cry out in joy, just as she always did… he would finish Nicholas’s work quickly, and return home to the Citadel in triumph.
Tahiri: …I’m torn between almost thinking that was sweet, being enraged about the brainwashing, and being grossed out by the language around him “taking” her. Ugh; Newcomb. His thoughts then turn to Nicholas and how he wished he could have met him, and how Krassus was so eager to die and go to his side (from what I’ve gathered, pretty sure that’s not how it’s going to happen…). But Nicholas’s plan lives on in Krassus and now Wulfgar’s blood (stop it, Newcomb!). The practitioners of the Vigors would soon know the exquisite sting of their defeat, as would the entire world. Yeah, surely after two books of the Vagaries suffering miserable losses because of their own incompetence, surely this time will be different! *fans self mockingly* Anyway, the ships come to a halt and Wulfgar orders the slavers to keep them still and bring the slaves to the deck, because they’re about to have company – oh, I wonder who that could be?
Blood Matters: 210
Gender Wars: 85
Irinali: I can imagine… some creatures I would actually rather like to meet, myself, not that I expect Newcomb to ever do them justice. And indeed the fog rolls in and forms into dozens of grasping hands which seize the ships, while Wulfgar watches in awe, preparing to be the first person in history to not merely witness this phenomenon, but to command it! *she sighs* Ah, Wulfgar – if only you’d taken this path of your own choosing, what a magnificent creature you might have been! But as it is, you are condemned to be no more than an automaton… He turns to watch the slaves brought up on deck, then turns back to the sea to see faces forming in it – they were the Necrophagians – the endowed, age-old Eaters of the Dead. And Wulfgar, per his own internal monologue, is the only living being who both knows their true origin and can command them.
MG: Weirdly, this just feels like an evil version of Aragorn summoning the Oathbreakers from the Paths of the Dead in RotK. Was that deliberate? This book would’ve come out after the movie of RotK, after all (doubt Newcomb ever read the original novel) …
Irinali: Questions for later, I think!
He stared at the faces. There seemed to be hundreds of them, their flesh a horrible mixture of sea green and dark red, streaked with ancient wrinkles and boils. Where eyes and mouths should have been there were only dark, empty holes. And then came the expected demand.
“Pay us our bounty, or we shall take both your bodies and your ships,” the faces whispered in the strangest of voices. There were many speaking at once in complete conformity, yet so softly that they could barely be heard.
Irinali: …I’ve seen worse. Wulfgar mentally goes back over the bargain between the Necrophagians and the Coven, and how the Necrophagians will let ships pass only if offered forty corpses in tribute. Wulfgar himself, however, calls down that he’s here to offer a new bargain, which will set the Necrophagians free – oooh! They demand to know who he is to offer such a thing, which even Failee couldn’t do, and Wulfgar reveals that he is the master of the Scroll of the Vagaries, from which he has learned their true origins. He tells them that he and the Heretics have need of them now, and if they agree to fight for him, their penance is at an end. The Necrophagians are stunned that the Scrolls have been found (or rather, loosed upon the world) and demand proof, which Wulfgar offers by levitating himself out over the sea and cutting his arm so blood starts flowing.
Almost immediately Wulfgar’s blood signature began to form. Raising his arms, he caused it to increase in size until it seemed to take up the entire night sky. Hundreds of Forestallments could be seen branching away from the main body of the signature, but there was one among them that clearly stood out, its massive length and width overshadowing all of the others. The magnificent Forestallment seemed to surge with life, as if impatient to fulfill its destiny.
This was the Forestallment Krassus and the consuls had worked so long and hard to find in the depths of the scroll—the same one Wulfgar would soon unleash upon his unsuspecting enemies.
Blood Matters: 213
Tahiri: …should’ve known it would’ve been more blood. Well, the Necrophagians are suitably impressed and ask if this means Wulfgar is truly the Enseterat, whatever that is. He confirms he is – it was supposed to be Nicholas, but he died, so now it’s fallen to Wulfgar, brother of the Chosen Ones, to carry on in his stead. He then explains to them what he needs from them – but doesn’t tell us, kriffing Newcomb – and the Necrophagians agree. They also don’t require the sacrifices he brought them, since if Wulfgar succeeds, they’ll have plenty of victims – and if he fails, they’ll eat him instead. Either way, they win! Also, they’re now really reminding me of the Yuuzhan Vong gods, both in their need for sacrifices and in not particularly caring who the blood flows from, so long as it flows… *in a softer voice, with that strange accent creeping in* for the gods hunger, and they must feed… *shaking herself back to normal* Wulfgar agrees and levitates back to his ship, and the Necrophagians release the fleet. The slaves are chained back belowdecks, and the fleet resumes its voyage, now with the Necrophagians following in its wake – and Wulfgar thinking how everything is going according to plan. Clearly, nobody has told this man he really shouldn’t tempt fate like that.
MG: The Enseterat, by the way, is the champion of the Vagaries – basically the Vagaries counterpart to the Chosen Ones. Why, exactly, this term is being introduced now when we’ve already had multiple potential champions of the Vagaries introduced is less clear (which, come to think, also makes Wulfgar seem like a second-stringer Team Vagaries only put into play because their first choice died, which isn’t exactly intimidating)… but my sneaking suspicion is that it’s only in this book that Newcomb actually started making up “fantasy-ish” terms and renaming existing concepts for them, rather than the rather blunt English names he’d given them before. Anyway, this chapter is now over, and basically all it entailed was that Wulfgar now has the Necrophagians in his entourage (and Newcomb continued his bad habit of stringing the reader along with revelations he teases but doesn’t, well, actually reveal). Onward
Dastardly Deeds: 137 (one point for the treatment of the slaves, one for the behavior of the Necrophagians)
Retcons and Revelations: 27
Chapter Sixty-Two
Irinali: And so, we open with Tristan, waking from having been sleeping like the dead – that can be arranged – to get dressed and think about how he’s hungry not only for the gnome wives’ cooking but also for Celeste’s company. *beat* Pairing those two desires in that way is not unsettling at all, why do you ask? He heads off to find her, only to literally bump into her, Abbey and Celeste in the hallway. Celeste was dressed in shiny black knee boots, black riding breeches, a white, low-cut blouse and black riding gloves. …actually, I want that outfit. Though I have a feeling I know why Newcomb dressed her in it… also, Shailiha is pushing Morganna’s ornate carriage (really?) while Caprice the butterfly circles overhead. We then immediately get a contradiction as Tristan thinks the three women are all looking at him like they know something he doesn’t, which he realizes is the change in the nature of his relationship with Celeste. *beat* Which he does, in fact, know about. Definitionally. But Celeste comes over to give him a kiss, while Tristan is sure Shailiha is going to tease him about this. *rolling her eyes* Ah, siblings.
Celeste holds up a basket with breakfast from the kitchens; Tristan tells her she’ll make him fat if she keeps bringing him food, which is rich from the man who literally just woke up wanting food. He also says he wanted to find the wizards and learn about their progress, which is… literally not what we saw him thinking about, I’m afraid. I’d say Newcomb was slipping, but that would imply he had a height to slip from… Celeste, however, wants to go with Tristan for a ride and a picnic… which is clearly the appropriate way to spend your time when doom is barreling down on you. *rolls her eyes again* And apparently it was Wigg and Faegan’s idea to keep Tristan occupied – why they need to do that isn’t clear – until they’re ready to meet him on his father’s private balcony at noon. And no, Shailiha doesn’t know why they want to do it there either. Knowing Wigg, it’s probably some pointlessly melodramatic reason.
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 103
Tahiri: Tristan doesn’t like them going behind his back like this (for once, I don’t blame him!) but he is hungry and he did want to see Celeste, so… off they go! First, he actually remembers to ask after Marcus and Becca, which is kind of amazing, considering how the Great Wigg was apparently treating them last time. Abbey says that Shawna the Short (seriously, enough!) and a Minion “overseer” (by which I guess she means “officer?” Unless we’re talking an actual slavedriver, in which case I swear to Yun-Ne’shel I’m getting those kids out of there now) are watching them, and that Becca is sweet but Marcus is a handful and has already tried to steal some silverware. But Shawna put him in his place and he’s apparently more frightened of her than the Minions, which is… apparently a good thing? *she shudders* Abbey doesn’t think he likes it here much – which just proves the kid has taste – and then Tristan decides to drop the topic entirely and head off with Celeste, after a patronizingly deep bow to his sister and Abbey. *beat* Sleemo.
They meet Geldon at the stables, who goes out of his way to let Tristan pick a new horse in the absence of Pilgrim, which he finally does (he also notably avoids the saddle and bridle he normally used on Pilgrim, which… yeah, I understand). We also learn that Wigg apparently enchanted Celeste’s picnic supplies so they won’t break or get loose (oh, now he does something useful!) and then Celeste and Tristan race out of the palace grounds, with Tristan amazed at how skilled a rider she is. *beat* Did… did she learn that from Ragnar? Because he really, really didn’t seem like the type, and while I’ve never actually seen a “horse” (look, I was raised by the Sand People – we rode banthas, and we liked it) but I don’t get the impression that they thrive underground. Anyway, we get several paragraphs of them happily racing through a meadow, until she finally stops by the bend of a river. There she dismounts, and they both let their horses drink and then tie them off, and Celeste starts laying out the food.
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 98 (I think everyone’s attitudes toward Marcus merit a point)
Tristan removed his weapons, tossed them to the ground, and sat down on his heels next to her. He saw spotted quail eggs again—hard-boiled this time—fresh fruit, cheese, dark bread, and what looked like unfermented mintberry juice.
He took an egg and began to peel away its shell. As he did the morning breeze came up, the stream burbled, and they could hear the songs of the triad larks. Looking around at the idyllic scene, Tristan wished he could stay here with Celeste forever, with no wizards, magic, or enemies to interfere with their lives.
Irinali: How… nauseatingly charming. Oh, don’t give me that look, girl, I have little enough tolerance for the saccharine even when it isn’t being written by Newcomb. And Newcomb’s continued insistence on awkwardly juxtaposing the shallow and twee with the grotesque and depraved continues to be one of his more inexplicable qualities. Tristan tells Celeste she’s spoling him, and she makes it plain she intends to, especially since he’s still thin from his ordeal. The mention of said ordeal understandably darkens his mood, and he admits it was awful – but that he knows it can’t compare to the literal centuries of suffering Celeste herself endured at Ragnar’s hands, which is honestly remarkably courteous of him, coming from this author. “You were the one thing on my mind as the demon-slaver whipped me, just before I passed out,” he continued softly. “I will always carry these scars on my back. But I had vowed that I wouldn’t scream, and I didn’t. Without knowing it, you helped me accomplish that.” Which is… something, I suppose. I’m not sure what it accomplished, beyond soothing Tristan’s pride, but it was something.
Celeste lays down beside him, and after a moment she asks if he really thinks Wulfgar and the demonslavers are coming. Tristan, in another moment of actual self-awareness (someone should take this man on picnics more often – it’s clearly good for his character and his cognitive functions), admits he doesn’t have any idea what to think about a brother he’s never met… but then he ruins the moment by telling Celeste he’s sure her father and Faegan will figure out how to save the day. *rolls her eyes* He asks Celeste if there was anything in the translations she helped with that might tell them more, but she admits it was all abstract magical calculations that went well over her head (perhaps if she had any training at all she might have been more help, Wigg). Tristan is about to tell her about his conversation with Wigg last night, but then she leans over and kisses him, described in loving detail for a whole paragraph. He was sure he had never seen such a beautiful woman in his life. Except, of course, for all the other women he’s described in almost exactly those terms… say, do you remember Narissa the Gallipolai? Because I don’t think she’s been mentioned in this book at all, has she? Celeste pulls away and tells Tristan she wants something; he asks if she’s sure, and she says she’s more sure of this than anything in her life. Please, Tristan… my love… please teach my desire to fly… to fly on the wings that you alone bring… I feel compelled to remind you that this woman is supposed to have literal centuries of trauma directly related to men and sexuality… but clearly, we’re past that now! She had one nightmare, and we all know that makes everything better! *beat* That, by the way, was sarcasm. Anyway, Tristan kisses her again and Newcomb thankfully fades to black. We cut to Tristan waking up, with a naked Celeste sleeping beside him, as he thinks that their lovemaking was more wonderful than he could have imagined. *she shrugs* Personally, I find it easier to keep such things strictly business, but I’ve also been told I have all the romantic tenderness of a seasick adder, so perhaps I’m not in a position to judge. He then notices the soft, azure glow of the craft surrounding them, and decides that this obvious manifestation of magic that might be affecting both him and his lover in unknown ways… is obviously a dream and goes back to sleep, as the chapter comes to an end. *facepalm*
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 104
MG: And so, frankly, this chapter existed solely so the wizards could delay their big revelations so Tristan and Celeste could have sex for the first time. Because clearly, that was more important than the literal fate of the world. *facepalms* Anyway, we have one more chapter to get to today in which the actually important revelations happen, so… onward!
Chapter Sixty-Three
Tahiri: We open with Tristan and Celeste arriving at the meeting and are told how sad Tristan is to be back in his father’s rooms and how he still grieves his death and what Kluge forced him to do to him and it’s just so dull I can’t even bring myself to care about it. We’re told that the wizards have arranged a long meeting table with the Scroll of the Vigors sitting on it, and another table has been set up with refreshments (which I assume the gnome women had to make, not that it’s specified). Everyone takes their seats, with Tristan wondering why the wizards wanted to meet here of all places, but before he can ask, Wigg starts talking, informing them all that the danger we now face is the most grave in our history. Except for the first book, when the Coven nearly destroyed the world… and the second, when Nicholas and the Heretics nearly destroyed the world – seriously, you can’t just have every threat be “the gravest danger ever” before it just loses its power altogether! But in this case, they’ve determined that Wulfgar is returning to Eutracia with an army of demonslavers at his back and intends to destroy the Orb of the Vigors. In a matter of days, all we know and cherish may perish from the earth. And we have a third “the bad guys might destroy the world!” Seriously, Newcomb, get some new material. And in case you’ve forgotten what the “Orb of the Vigors” is, because I think it’s barely been talked about this whole book, Tristan is here to remind us:
Stunned, Tristan sat back in his chair. He could clearly recall that day on the mountain not so long ago, when Wigg had called the two orbs to appear so that Tristan might view them for the first time. The Orb of the Vigors had been bright, shining, and golden, while the Orb of the Vagaries had been black, and literally dripping with the destructive energy of the dark side of the craft.
Tahiri: So, I guess the orbs are… literal things and not just symbolic visions, then? Huh. You know, I’m pretty sure the Force isn’t a magic floaty ball somewhere (and if it is, I’ll be very disappointed). It’s… the Force. By definition, it’s everywhere. I think that makes a lot more sense, if you ask me. Which these people clearly aren’t. Tristan wants to know how and why, and Faegan says it’s possible with the power of the Scrolls, which is why Krassus has been after them this whole time. When Shailiha asks for more clarification, we get this massive wall of arcanobabble:
“That,” Wigg answered, “and a good deal more. In many ways it is easier to tell you what the scrolls cannot show us, rather than what they can. In essence, the scroll before you holds the calculations for virtually every known Forestallment of the Vigors, just as we believe the scroll in Krassus’ possession does for the Vagaries. By employing the calculations gleaned from the scrolls, one can identify any already existing Forestallment branch that shoots off from a person’s blood signature. The Forestallment branches can now be ‘mapped,’ as it were. In addition, whoever is in possession of the scrolls can actually not only decipher the calculations required for any Forestallment he or she desires, but can also imbue the blood signature with it and activate it at any time of his choosing.”
“But there is even more to the puzzle,” Faegan said, leaning over the table. “The scroll also reveals the answers to many of the mysteries of the craft that have plagued us for centuries. In truth, we have only had enough time to scratch the surface of what the scroll may tell us. Reading the document is an amazing experience—like looking into the very souls of the Ones Who Came Before. We now believe it was they who wrote the Scroll of the Vigors, and the Heretics of the Guild who wrote the other. Neither side expected to use the information to destroy the orb that supported their side of the craft, of course. But by including the opposite formula in each one, it seems they could assure themselves of mutual mass destruction in their struggle against one another, should the need arise. Simply put, each scroll was meant to be both a safeguard and a weapon for future generations of the craft to protect themselves with, should its opposite ever be found and used against them.”
Exposition Intrusion: 260
Irinali: Even my eyes were glazing over at that, mostly because Wigg and Faegan have mastered the fine art of rambling far, far longer than they need to before getting to the point. But, to make a long story short, the Scrolls include the formulae for every possible Forestallment you can do with their branch of magic, which includes the ability to destroy the “orbs” of the Vigors and Vagaries. Wigg goes on to explain, still with far more words than are strictly necessary, that it was the Scrolls that gave Nicholas the knowledge of how to undo the death enchantments that prevented the Consuls from practicing the Vagaries, and then Faegan gives an even more needlessly wordy explanation of how the explosions that occur at the deaths of the Coven, their creatures and other powerful Vagaries users are actually the result of the Forestallments in their blood dying. Tristan then repeats that Wulfgar intends to destroy the Orb of the Vigors and this is why Krassus needed the Scrolls, apparently just to make sure we got the idea through our heads *rolls her eyes*. And Wigg confirms it and guesses that this was always Nicholas’s ultimate plan (which is why we had… no real indication of it that I can recall in the previous book?) and executing it fell to Krassus after Nicholas died.
Tristan wonders how, out of all the Forestallments in the Scrolls, the wizards can be so sure that this specific thing is what Wulfgar is after – an excellent question – so Faegan explains. The Forestallment for destroying the Orb of the Vagaries is the most complex by far in the Scroll of the Vigors, so they presume that the one for destroying the Orb of the Vigors must be the same in the other scroll (which seems like quite an assumption, considering you have only the one Scroll to work with and have no idea what is in the other one!). Tristan thinks back on his conversations with Nicholas, and though we’re not shown him thinking about what about those interactions makes him think this, he decides that this was indeed obviously Nicholas’s goal and is now Wulfgar’s. Oh, Newcomb. You never fail to find new ways to disappoint… such as by properly introducing the book’s main conflict when it is literally 87 percent done. So it’s perhaps unsurprising this feels rather… compressed. Finally, the wizards ask Tristan why he thinks that, and so he reflects again on Nicholas’s grandiose monologuing, recalling how he said that he and the Heretics intended to destroy the Vigors forever. It still seems a stretch to assume that the Heretics, supposedly beings of literal godlike power, would require this exact magic to destroy their opposing power, but I presume this is correct because the book is almost over. *she sighs heavily* Tristan also guesses that they intended to kill everyone with a right-leaning blood signature (which they did not say, because the concept of left and right blood signatures was only introduced in this book). And of course, Wulfgar, as Morganna’s son and the twins’ half-brother, possesses great innate power but also a strongly left-leaning signature that made him easy to turn, and so he was apparently the perfect choice to follow in Nicholas’s footsteps. And Newcomb says all of this in a far more long-winded way, believe me.
Blood Matters: 215
Exposition Intrusion: 265
Retcons and Revelations: 28
Tahiri: Whee. And people say I talk too much… Wigg and Faegan share a look and agree that Tristan is probably right about them being right and for once Faegan is sorry about being right and urgh, get to the point already! Anyway, they think Wulfgar will come here first, to try and retrieve the Scroll of the Vigors before they can use it, since Janus and Grizelda failed. Shailiha and Celeste then jump in since they both want to know more about the orbs. Which of course sets Wigg off again:
“Magic is everywhere,” Wigg answered. “Even though it cannot be seen. In this aspect it is very much like the air we breathe, constantly surrounding us but invisible. In truth, however, magic has substance and shape, as does the air. Let me be clear: I’m speaking of the craft itself, of what it really is. There is a true, interwoven consistency to its energy and its existence, and it can be literally seen, each of the two sides, both the Vigors and the Vagaries. This is the reason we asked you to meet us here on the balcony, rather than in the depths of the Redoubt. So we could show you this wondrous thing firsthand, that you might better understand what it is we must bend every effort to try to protect.” Wigg then closed his eyes and raised his arms, as if in supplication.
The sky began to lighten. As it did, a gigantic glow began to coalesce before them in the air of the courtyard. Slowly it started to spin and turn on its axis. It was becoming a brilliant, golden orb, with offshoots here and there of the palest white radiating outward from its center. From time to time golden droplets of energy would trickle down from the revolving orb and fall to the courtyard, dissipating into nothingness. For the second time in his life, Tristan found himself looking in awe at the Orb of the Vigors.
Wigg raised his arms again, and a darker image began to form. As it grew in size to match the other orb, it too began to coalesce into an orb and spin, but rather than being beautiful and awe-inspiring, the dark orb gave off a distinctly menacing aura—frightening, even horrifying.
As they watched the dark orb grow to the size of the Orb of the Vigors, it began to try to push the other orb aside, as if attempting to make room for itself. It was as frightening as the Orb of the Vigors was beautiful. Droplets of dark energy dripped from its pitch-black, shining sides, and bright scratches of lightning shot through the ebony orb’s center. The Orb of the Vagaries, Tristan thought. The dark side of the craft in all its ghastly splendor.
Tahiri: So, magic is literally two glowing balls just… flying in the sky waiting for some wizard to summon them down so everyone can gawk at them? This… this really isn’t a metaphor, this is literally true? Just… huh? Anyway, everyone is fascinated as the two orbs circle each other and keep trying to get close to each other, but are repelled like they’re magnetized. Wigg explains how all things have their opposites – light and dark, male and female (*singsong* one of those isn’t like the other!) etc. – and so does magic. He goes on that for as long as they know it the two sides have wanted to merge but can’t, and if they did touch he thinks it would set off a chain reaction that would destroy the world. Only the Chosen One can join them safely.
MG: Eh, not so much. But that’s more for the second trilogy.
Tahiri: Great. Wigg makes the Orbs disappear, and Abbey asks what happens if only one of the orbs is destroyed. Wigg, for once, admits they’ not sure, but he thinks that if the Orb of the Vigors vanished the Vigors would cease functioning, and everyone sustained by Vigors-based time enchantments would die instantly (I can think of two I’d not miss…) and the Vagaries would reign supreme with Wulfgar as its master. Which… is bad, I guess? Maybe if Newcomb had ever actually bothered to explain anything about how the Vagaries actually work and what makes them bad beyond bad people using them, this might be a lot scarier? Tristan wonders why they can’t just use the scroll they have to destroy the Vagaries instead. Wigg admits it’s tempting, but the destiny of the Chosen One is to combine the Vigors and Vagaries, and if there aren’t any Vagaries to combine, that means he can’t fulfil his destiny. *beat* So it’s “because the prophecy says so” again? Urgh – how disappointing!
Contrivances and Coincidences: 57
Exposition Intrusion: 270
Irinali: In any case, this means that Team Vigors has to preserve both sides of magic, while Team Vagaries has the easier task, since they only have to preserve their side. And Newcomb couldn’t tell us the long-term negative consequences of destroying the Vagaries because…? Geldon wants to know just how Wulfgar will destroy the Vigors, and Wigg isn’t sure from the Scroll exactly what will happen, save that it involves something called an “isthmus,” by which it doesn’t seem he means a land bridge – he guesses it’s some sort of partial joining of the orbs that doesn’t let them touch directly, which seems like a fair enough guess, actually. He then launches yet another long-winded explanation of how the orbs only appear in Eutracia and cannot be made to manifest over the Tolenka Mountains or the Sea of Whispers (or, presumably, Parthalon) which he can only guess is because the Chosen Ones were to be born in Eutracia. Because even cosmic forces are bent around our fool of a protagonist and his insipid destiny, apparently. Where I come from, the planes orbit and overlap with the material world on their own time and according to their own cycles and care little for the doings of mortals, thank you. Far more sensible. But what that means is that Wulfgar actually has to come to Eutracia to carry out his plans.
Traax then speaks up, promising that no fighting force can match the Minions and they’ll turn him back. Tristan, having seen the demonslavers fight, thinks they’ll be a match for the Minions even though they can’t fly (what’s stopping the Minions from hovering out of reach and pelting the slavers with arrows or stones… isn’t addressed) especially with a full-fledged wizard of Morganna’s blood leading them. He asks Wigg and Faegan if they can match Wulfgar, and they admit they’re not sure if they can stand up against the Enseterat, and when Tristan asks they explain that this means “Lord of the Vagaries” in Old Eutracian and this is the title Wulfgar is to be known by since he’s now been imbued with the full power of his Forestallments. Tristan and Shailiha have also been prophesied to bear special titles, Jin’sai and Jin’saiou, which are the masculine and feminine forms of “Combiner of the Arts.” How… special. Wigg says that they first heard those titles from the watchwoman of the hidden gardens, but only in studying the Scroll did they learn their meaning.
MG: And yes, this definitely can’t help but feel like another case of Newcomb trying to replace some of his older, more generic names with more “fantasy-ish” ones, like we already saw talis and r’talis for unendowed and endowed blood. But it comes so late, and is so blatant, that it doesn’t really feel like it works – like Newcomb was just saying “oops” and correcting it at the last minute.
Blood Matters: 216
Exposition Intrusion: 275
Retcons and Revelations: 30
Tahiri: Shailiha wants to know why they’re supposed to have those titles and, uh, isn’t it because “combining the arts” is what you’re prophesied to do? But Faegan rattles off some random gobbledygook about the titles being so that other magical beings they encounter will know who they are, which doesn’t really explain anything, but whatever. Tristan orders the Minions to deploy their fleet to intercept the slavers, which Wigg agrees with. Tristan rattles off some more orders about how Traax is to form up the fleet at the delta, hold position, and send out scouts to watch for Wulfgar’s fleet to approach and send a message to him when they do, because I guess after one voyage he’s an expert at naval warfare now (by that logic, one flight would make me a master star pilot, which as Corran can tell you I am not – seriously, don’t ask). Tristan also remembers being impressed by K’Jarr at the pirate battle and tells Traax to keep him available for special use, oh my. Tristan also wants a special litter built. Traax salutes and gives his usual “I live to serve” bit; while all this is going on, the wizards will be trying to figure out how to neutralize Wulfgar’s Forestallments, though because of the complexity of the magic and the strength of his blood (urgh) they can’t be sure they’ll manage it. Tristan sends Traax out and he flies off the balcony, then watches him go. His mind turns back to K’Jarr and he thinks they might have a way to win, something he hasn’t mentioned to the wizards yet – and then the chapter ends as he thinks about how alone he feels even among friends and family (for… some reason? Seriously, why are you feeling isolated right at this moment, Tristan?) and the chapter, finally, comes to an end.
MG: Ooof. This one was… rather painful, honestly, mostly because of how dull it was. The wizards’ exposition felt especially bad this time, full of padding and rambling that made it far longer than it needed to be to say what it actually said, while a lot of stuff is just glossed over or handwaved. And, like we’ve already established, the book is nearly done and we’re only now learning what the main conflict actually is about? Newcomb… you are aware that’s far, far too late for us to actually care, right? Especially considering the orbs of the Vigors and Vagaries have barely even been a thing since Wigg introduced them way back near the beginning of Fifth Sorceress, and this is I think the first time it’s actually made clear they’re literal things (and yes, all magic comes from flying balls in the air over Eutracia that aren’t actually moons) and not just a handy visual aid he conjured. Seriously, we should have spent a lot more time building up this, and less on pirates and slavers and creepy mind control (and we still should’ve had Wulfgar join the Vagaries of his own free will, so we’d have some idea of why anyone would want to do this and what they stand to gain from it). Sigh. Next time, we have yet more preparations for the final confrontation as Wulfgar continues his advance towards Eutracia… and we also meet a character we really should have met long before this, if only Newcomb was actually interested in them or their organization at all. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:
Blood Matters: 218
Contrivances and Coincidences: 58
Dastardly Deeds: 137
Exposition Intrusion: 278
Gender Wars: 85
Gratuitous Grimdark: 66
Plot-Induced Stupidity: 104
Protagonist-Centered Morality: 98
Retcons and Revelations: 29
