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masterghandalfThis is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to begin our journey through Dennis L. McKiernan’s The Iron Tower! Today, we will meet our protagonisthobbits Warrows in the Shire the Boskydells as they set forth on their journey towards a confrontation with Sauron Modru. Now, as one might gather from this description, and from my previously posted Intro and ToC for this spork, my emphasis here is going to be a bit different from my usual sporkings. Because of Iron Tower’s origin as a prequel to a reskinned LotR fanfic sequel, it has a reputation, well earned, for being a notorious LotR-clone, even more so than that other notorious LotR-clone, The Sword of Shannara (and if anyone is curious, no, I don’t have any plans to look at Sword in the future unless people just beg me to; AFAIK it doesn’t actually have any especially interesting connections to LotR, it’s just a very similar story written by an at the time inexperienced author who was a fan, and I don’t really think there’s much worth saying about it). For this spork, I want to dig a bit into what that actually means. First off, I’m going to note points of commonality between LotR and Iron Tower, particularly highlighting those that both works share that aren’t otherwise common tropes of the genre. Next, there are some elements that are present in Iron Tower but aren’t present in LotR, but are parallel to other parts of the Legendarium; I want to highlight those as well. Finally, in places where I find that McKiernan diverges from Tolkien in noticeable ways, I’d like to highlight some of those I find significant, and why. And then, after completing my spork of Iron Tower, I plan to continue onward to take a look at The Silver Call, McKiernan’s actual reskinned LotR sequel, written first and published second, and see if he makes a better attempt with the material than Polychron did. And we’ll be working in a look at Amazon’s Rings of Power at some point, too.
Our journey through The Iron Tower begins at Book One: The Dark Tide. As I noted in the intro, Iron Tower was, like LotR itself, originally divided for publication into three volumes, though it is one long story and both the hard copy and ebook versions I own, being later editions, have it as a single volume. The Book divisions remain, however, as they do in LotR, though Iron Tower is divided into only three Books while LotR has six, and also the individual Books retain the titles they had as individual volumes (Tolkien toyed with various titles for LotR’s books, but in the finalized version they simply bear numbers; of course, this is partially because LotR has never to my knowledge been published in English in a six-volume edition, instead always being the familiar “trilogy” or a single-volume omnibus). None of this is particularly relevant to the story, of course; just somewhat interesting trivia. Both the hard copy and ebook versions have forewords, but we’ll be returning to those at the end, after we finish the entire story.
Before we begin the book proper, we have an “epigram” to introduce it:
“And that is what evil does: forces us all down dark pathways we otherwise would not have trod.” ~Rael of Arden January 10, 4E2019
And here we already have our first expy of a character from Middle-earth, even before the story properly begins – Rael of Arden is quite obviously Mithgar’s counterpart to Galadriel of Lorien, and we’ll be meeting her before Book One is completed, so you can judge the comparison for yourself.
But for now, it’s time to meet the companions who’ll be joining us on the first stage of our journey!
*two women materialize in the sporking chamber; one is a tan-skinned, dark-haired elf woman of indeterminate age clad in green and brown and carrying a wooden staff; the other is a half-elf, with dark hair and pale skin, and a somewhat roguish bearing and dress*
Everyone, meet Kasanari, exiled druid of Innetendor, and Shade, a thief and spy…
Shade: I prefer “entrepreneur,” thank you!
MG: …from nowhere in particular (or at least, she’s not telling), who have graciously taken time out of their busy schedule of trying to stop their homeland from falling into a massive war after the assassination of the emperor (long story) to spork with us today! If you’ve followed my sporking of Fellowship of the King, you know them already – if not, they and some of their companions will be helping us along our trip, as they’ve already picked up some familiarity with the actual Middle-earth in their previous… adventure.
Kasanari: *sighs* And here I’d hoped we were free of this sort of thing… but seriously, this story can’t possibly be as bad as Polychron’s work, can it?
MG: …yeah, McKiernan is hardly without his own issues, but compared to Polychron I think this will probably be a breath of fresh air. And so, it’s time to begin. Onward!
Chapter 1: Thornwalkers
Shade: Oooh, what’s a Thornwalker? *she glances over at Kasanari* It sounds rather… druid-y, don’t you think? Care to offer us any insight?
Kasanari: Shade, I am as confused as you, but I suspect if we simply proceed with the story, it might perhaps give us our answer? And indeed, it seems we open right in the thick of… something:
With a final burst of speed, the young buccan Warrow raced through ankle-deep snow, his black hair flying out behind. In one hand he carried a bow already nocked with an arrow, and he sprinted toward a fallen log, clots of snow flinging out behind his flying boots; yet little or no sound did he make, for he was one of the Wee Folk. Swiftly he reached the log and silently dropped to one knee, quickly drawing the bow to the full and loosing the arrow with a humming twang of bowstring. Even before the deadly missile had sped to the target, another arrow was released; and another, another, and another—in all, five arrows were shot in rapid succession, hissing through the air, striking home with deadly accuracy.
Kasanari: Hmmm… there are some terms here I don’t recognize; care to interpret?
MG: In fact I do! “Warrows,” as noted in the Intro post, are McKiernan’s expies of hobbits, so that’s straightforward enough. “Buccan” takes a bit more explaining. It’s not, as I’d first thought, the name of a tribe, region or village to which our so-far-unnamed protagonist belongs. McKiernan has a few… interesting quirks as a writer which he doesn’t share with Tolkien or most other fantasy writers – one of them is that he uses Man and Woman (and, especially in the early books, he always capitalizes them, so get used to that) exclusively to refer to humans. Every other race has their own specific and unique terms for “male person” and “female person,” applying only to members of that race. As you might imagine, this is the sort of thing that probably sounded cool on paper, but in practice I found it quickly got old even when I liked (some of) these books. Anyway, as you might have guessed from this, a “buccan” is a male Warrow. Presumably, that it sounds like “buck” is intentional (and should certainly not be confused with Tad Williams’ Osten Ard books, where “bukken” are goblin-like creatures that dig tunnels).
Anyway, we can already note some specific parallels to LotR here. Aside from Warrow=hobbit, we also have “the Wee Folk” as a similar term to “the Little Folk” and the fact that the narration goes out of its way to note that the Warrows can move silently, when the ability to move silently when they wish is also a skill that The Hobbit and LotR both note hobbits as possessing. All of these are minor and could be overlooked individually, but they do add up. I’ll also go ahead and note that Tolkien began LotR with a party, while McKiernan begins Iron Tower with an action scene (…of sorts, as we’ll see). We’ll discuss the implications of this a bit later in the chapter when we get some context, but I just wanted to go ahead and point it out now.
Shade: Well, it turns out that this was just practice, as someone named Old Barlo compliments our protagonist, Tuck, on his shooting (four of his five shots hit the target), and takes advantage of the opportunity to lecture a group of other trainees (I think?) on what they’ve all been doing wrong. Lectures them in what I think is supposed to be some sort of rural accent, though it doesn’t sound much like any I’ve ever heard:
“Now I’m telling all you rattlepates: draw fast, and loose quick, but no quicker as what you can fly it straight. The arrow as strays might well’er been throwed away, for all the good it does.”
Kasanari: …indeed. Well, Tuck – or rather, Tuckerby Underbank, to give his full name – retrieves his arrows from the target (a drawing of a wolf pinned up on a haycock) and goes to sit down with his friend Danner Bramblethorn, who compliments him on getting four out of five, and thinks Barlo should’ve given him the first, too, since it nicked the target, though Tuck agrees with Barlo’s call and thinks Danner is the better archer than him anyway. And, as they sit and watch the remaining trainees make their shots, we’re given some context for just what they’re doing here:
It was important that they as well as the other hardy youth of Woody Hollow become expert with the bow. Ever since the word had come from the far borders of Northdell that Wolves were about, in autumn no less, many young buccen—that time of male Warrow-hood between the end of childhood at twenty and the coming of age at thirty—in fact most young buccen of the Boskydells, had been or would be in training.
MG: A few more notes here. First off, “young buccen” between twenty and thirty, when they come of age, sounds very much like hobbits in their “tweens” before coming of age and thirty-three, don’t they? And LotR explicitly notes that while hobbits may lack in size and raw strength, they make up for it with a keen eye for ranged weapons, including thrown stones (as Bilbo demonstrated to a certain swarm of spiders in The Hobbit), slings, and indeed small bows. And “Tuckerby Underbank” sounds very much like it could be a hobbit name to my ear, and of course “Underbank” is very similar to “Underhill,” the false name Frodo used at Bree (“Danner Bramblethorn” a bit less so, though maybe that’s just me) and “Woody Hollow” even resembles “Woodhall,” a village in the Shire that gets a few mentions, though that one might actually be a coincidence.
But I think this is also the time to point out our most notable difference between Iron Tower and LotR so far. The Shire in LotR does have a militia – the “Hobbitry-at-Arms,” captained by the Thain – which gets a few mentions but hasn’t been called up in decades by the present of the story, along with law-enforcement: the Shirriffs are the closest thing the Shire has to police (though their numbers are small and they seem to deal with dangerous animals far more often than dangerous people – they only became militarized and used to crack down on the general population under the rule of Lotho and “Sharkey”) and the Bounders who watch the borders (and whose job mostly seems to have been to remind foreigners entering the Shire to behave themselves rather than anything more serious, though their numbers were increased during the troubled times leading up to the War of the Ring). Aside from Sharkey co-opting the Shirriffs, these are all pretty minor worldbuilding elements, and none of our hobbit protagonists are members of any of these groups. In Iron Tower, however, we meet our protagonists not at home in a time of peace but actively training to be part of the militia. The Warrows in general, IIRC, are rather more martially inclined than the hobbits across all the books in which they appear, though they’re still more peaceful than most of their neighbors. I don’t know what McKiernan’s specific motivations behind this choice are, but I can’t shake the feeling that in trying to make his version of hobbits more overtly “badass” McKiernan is missing the point of what the hobbits actually represent – the simple courage of ordinary people in the face of extraordinary danger and evil – in favor of trying to make them more conventional heroic protagonists.
Shade: …I’ll take your word for it. McKiernan then gives us a bit more backstory. Apparently, the winter struck early this year, killing crops, and wolves and strange Men (with capital, so I presume that means “human” based on your earlier comment?) have been seen near the Thornwall (which I guess is the border, so… the militia are the Thornwalkers, I guess? Makes sense.) and whole families of Warrows have disappeared. And there are rumors that a great Evil – with a capital “E” and everything, oooh! – has risen in someplace called Gron in the north.
Why, things hadn’t been this bad since the passing of the flaming Dragon Star with its long, blazing tail silently cleaving the heavens, what with the crop failures, cattle and sheep dying, and the plagues that it had brought on. But that was five years ago, and past, and this winter and Wolves and strange happenings were now.
Shade: …I suppose the concept that evil forces might take time to build their strength after reawakening is a bit too complicated for our Warrows (I say they’re halflings, but if McKiernan wants to call them Warrows, Warrows they shall be) to grasp?
MG: The “Dragon Star” doesn’t have a counterpart in LotR, but it does have significance in this story beyond being a bad omen, so we’ll hear more about it later. I’ll also note that I suspect the Thornwall is a parallel to the Hedge, aka the High Hay, which doesn’t surround the whole Shire but serves as the border between Buckland and the Old Forest. Gron is Mithgar’s counterpart to Mordor, fairly obviously, though its position in the far North (as opposed to Mordor being located far to the southeast of the Shire, directly east of Gondor and Rohan, and fairly centrally located in the continent in general) instead recalls Angmar (and iirc the maps of Mithgar published in later books would make it look rather like Angmar, too). As I noted in the intro, some elements of the war that will be playing out in this story feel more like the Arnor-Angmar wars related in the appendices rather than the War of the Ring, including the nature of the Warrows’ involvement. Speaking of which:
And down at the One-Eyed Crow, not only was there talk of the trouble in Northdell, but also of the Big Men far north at Challerain Keep, mustering it seems for War. At the moment, holding forth to a most attentive Warrow audience was Will Longtoes, the Second-Deputy Constable of Eastdell, who, because of his dealings with the authorities, namely various Eastdell Mayors and the Chief Constable in Centerdell, appeared to know more than most about the strange doings abroad:
MG: Okay, I hesitate to read too much into this, because fantasy fiction is thick with inns and taverns of all descriptions, so I don’t want to directly say that the One-Eyed Crow is a riff on the Green Dragon and/or the Prancing Pony, but it must be said that the early chapters of LotR include several short scenes of hobbits gossiping in taverns, and this really feels like McKiernan is going for much the same tone… though I don’t think he quite hits it, for reasons I have a hard time putting my finger on. Anyway, do note that Big Men=Big Folk, the term the hobbits use for humans in LotR. And for some context here, the High King of Mithgar has two capitals, of which Challerain Keep is the northern (which isn’t at all like the Faithful Numenoreans’ realm in exile being divided into the northern kingdom of Arnor and the southern kingdom of Gondor, why are you asking?). And this is also where the parallels to the wars with Angmar come in, as during the final days of that conflict the king of Arthedain, the last remnant of Arnor, called up support from all his vassals – and the Shire, at that time a protectorate of Arthedain, according to their own histories sent a company of archers, though no tale tells their fate. And here we’ll also see the Warrows being called on to give aid to the northern realm of Men in their battle against an evil realm even farther to the north…
Kasanari: …I think I’ll reserve judgment until I see more of this story, if you don’t mind. The good constable goes on to explain that someone named Toby Holder, whose family has connections at Stonehill, has said that hundreds of wagons are gathering there to be sent to Challerain Keep. The Warrows are stunned, and Will speculates that they must be moving their people south to avoid the troubles. King Aurion is gathering his people for war, and sending Women (yes, it’s capitalized, *sigh*) children and elders away to Wellen… Gunar and Valon… even to Pellar. None of which mean anything to me. Teddy Cloverhay, another Warrow, goes on at length as he wonders why none of the humans seem to be worried about the wolves (now, now, I have some very good friends who are wolves – they are dangerous creatures if you cross them, but they’re certainly not all bad!). Will thinks wolves are a lesser danger than war, and probably won’t attack large armed caravans (true). But many of the other Warrows don’t buy it; they think wolves would happily go for women or elders, and that all of this sounds like Word from the Beyond, which is apparently proverbial for “unverified rumor.” Also, at least some of the Warrows pronounce “well” as “wull,” which feels worth noting.
MG: There’s a saying in the Shire, strange as news from Bree. That just felt worth noting for some reason (and also the Warrows use “gaffer” as a slang term for “old man” – while AFAIK that’s actual British slang, I can’t help but note that hobbits do the same, most notable in the nickname of Hamfast “The Gaffer” Gamgee, Sam’s father). And the Warrows’ general opinion that anything form outside the Boskydells, their homeland, is untrustworthy and suspicious is pretty much the same attitude that many (though not all) hobbits have about things from outside the Shire.
Shade: Well, Will the Constable says he believes Toby, and the others decide that if Toby actually saw this, they’ll believe him, too. That was easy. They guess it must be the Evil – still capitalized – in the North, and Nob Haywood guesses it must be Modru who is responsible.
Ooohh! said some in the crowd, for Modru of Gron strode through many a legend, and he was always painted the blackest evil, and so was also commonly known as “the Evil One.”
Shade: …think I could’ve gathered that last part for myself, thanks. Nob’s heard rumors that Modru has returned from his exile in the most remote North, and Gaffer Tom starts rambling about old stories he’s heard about how Modru is the master of both cold and wolves (sounds like a charming fellow…). He thinks the early winter, and the destruction of the harvest, must be Modru’s doing. All the Warrows are disturbed by this idea, as one might imagine, because if it truly was Modru returned, then it was a dire prospect all of Mithgar faced.
MG: …let’s just say that Sauron was also said to govern the weather of Mordor, and that the Witch-King, when he ruled in Angmar, was attributed with power over winter storms by the Lossoth of Forochel (Arvedui, the last king of Arthedain, didn’t buy it… but considering Arvedui died when a freak storm sank his ship and everyone aboard, the clear implication is the Lossoth were right and he was wrong). Not that this sort of magic is all that unusual in fantasy, mind, but it is another point of commonality (and while Modru is mostly an expy of Sauron, I think he’s got a bit of the Witch King in him as well). And Sauron himself, per the Sil, was the Lord of Wolves long before he was Lord of the Rings.
Kasanari: Well, another Warrow, the hunter Bingo Peacher, feels compelled to speak up in defense of wolves – wolves have no “master,” and sometimes they even help the elves, but only when the elves ask nicely. I like Bingo already. He says wolves can be dangerous, if they’re provoked or hungry, and he doesn’t doubt Modru may have driven them out of their usual territory to seek prey elsewhere, if it really is him, but he doesn’t control them. Modru is the master of Vulgs, which are apparently like wolves but larger, more aggressive, and far more dangerous. Will the Constable, however, notices that this revelation has everyone on the verge of panic and tries to calm them down.
“Here now!” cried Will Longtoes, sharply. “There ain’t no cause to believe them old dammen’s tales. They’re just stories to tell youngers to get ’em to behave. Besides, even if they were true, well, you all knows that Modru and Vulgs can’t face the daylight: they suffer the Ban! And Adon’s Ban has held true from the end of the Second Era till now: more than four-thousand years! So stop all this prattle about Modru comin’ to get us.” Will had put up his best show of confidence, but the Second-Deputy Constable of Eastdell neither looked nor sounded sure of himself, for Gaffer Tom’s and Bingo’s words had shaken him, too. Many was the time as a youngling he’d been told that Modru and his Vulgs would get him if he didn’t mind his manners; and, too, he recalled the fearful saying: Vulg’s black bite slays at night.
MG: Adon is the highest deity of Mithgar (though he’s more Manwe than Eru Iluvatar; later books will posit, but never confirm, the existence of a deity even loftier than Adon, the Great Creator). Vulgs, of course, are Mithgar’s version of wargs. I do think it’s notable that McKiernan always makes a firm distinction between wolves and Vulgs (though later books will confirm that the silver wolves who are friendly with the elves are no more the mundane Canis lupus we know than Vulgs are); Tolkien doesn’t always do the same with wolves and wargs (and wolves don’t tend to get very good press in a lot of the European myth and folklore he was inspired by). “Dammen” are female Warrows, so “old dammen’s tales” would be “old wives’ tales.”
Also, this feels like a place to point out a problem I noted in the Intro post – that despite ostensibly having a history that spans thousands of years, Mithgar is a remarkably static place. Here we see random people in a tavern holding forth casually – and accurately – about events that happened four thousand years ago and feeling confident treating it as common knowledge. This isn’t really something you see in LotR – you have elves, wizards and ents who have extensive knowledge about historical events they were there for, however deep in the past they might be; and the dwarves and Dunedain have ancient nations with roots in a past deeper still and keep long histories. But peoples like the hobbits or the Rohirrim, who don’t have that same context, mostly trace their histories back to the founding of their own nations at most, but don’t have much knowledge of the truly deep past of Middle-earth from long before their civilizations even existed. For most hobbits, Sauron is at most a vague boogeyman out of ancient legends, whose current activities they know only by vague rumor – in contrast to the Warrows, who seem remarkably well-informed about Modru’s history and weaknesses, and can make reasonable guesses about his current activities. And, for another example, later Mithgar novels will feature the elven mariner Aravan as a major recurring character. Thousands of years before the story’s present, Aravan was a legendary seafarer who captained a ship with a cutting-edge design, faster and more deadly than any other vessel at sea. Eventually, he’d walk away from that life for personal reasons- but IIRC when he returns to it in Silver Wolf, Black Falcon, thousands of years later, he finds the old port he used to sail out of still in the same place, basically unchanged in character, where the human locals tell fond stories of how their ancestors sailed with him and are happy to sign up for his crew themselves, and his recovered ship is still the most advanced thing on the seas – as if he’d been gone for maybe a century at most, rather than somewhere in the vicinity of five to six thousand years.
Shade: Huh. Gaffer Tom says “old dammen’s tales” tend to have a root of truth – which my mothers also always tried to drum into me, more or less – and he thinks that Vulgs are responsible for the people who disappeared, and that it may well be Modru’s doing. This gets everyone talking, and Will goes on to remind everyone that wolves or Vulgs, either way that’s why someone called the Gammer started organizing Wolf Patrols on their northern borders, and wolves and any other threat will soon fear Warrows, right enough. And we get some more information about how Gammer Alderbuc is the former captain of the Thornwalkers and a legend in their own lifetime and all that, and how the Thornwalkers are one of the Boskydells’ major services, along with the Postal Messengers and the Constables…
MG: Not to be confused with the Bounders, Shirrifs, and Shire Post, of course…
Shade: And how their numbers are increased in times of danger to protect the Boskydells and the Thornwall of “spindlethorn” hedges that encircles them from intruders. And the group of archers we saw Old Barlo training at the opening of this chapter are indeed new Thornwalker recruits, as we all had probably gathered. But Gaffer Tom thinks that if they really are dealing with Modru’s Vulgs, the Thornwalkers will have a fight on their hands and had better learn to shoot true, and the scene ends there.
Kasanari: And so we cut to our assurance that the new Thornwalkers did indeed learn to shoot true:
Over the past six weeks, Old Barlo had had them shooting in the bright of day and the dark of night, in calm still air and through gusting winds, through blowing dim snow and across blinding white, from far and near and at still targets and moving ones, on level ground and uphill and down, in open fields and close brambly woods. And now they were learning to shoot accurately while breathless and panting after sprinting silently for a good distance. And the young buccen Warrows had learned well, for the shafts now sped true to the target, most to strike in or near the small circle. But of all of Barlo’s students, two stood out: Danner was tops with Tuck a close second.
Kasanari: Finally, Barlo gathers his students around, reminds them of the trouble up north and telling them that Captain Alver of the Thornwalkers asked him to train a group of good bowmen (or rather, bowbuccen) and that he’s done, and now he’s graduating them to become full Thornwalkers. Everyone starts talking at once – Tuck is thrilled, Danner thinks it’s about time. Barlo calms everyone down, telling them they have a week at home before the Thornwalkers will come to assign them to their companies. Even so, Tuck is overwhelmed at the thought that he’ll be leaving home and heading to the border in a week, though he manages to assure himself it’s for the best. Barlo starts telling everyone what companies they’ll be assigned to; Tuck and Danner along with Tarpy and Hob are posted to the Eastdell Fourth, who are assigned to watch the northern road that leads to Challerain Keep, the High King’s summer throne. In other words, exactly the assignment one might expect our seeming protagonists to receive.
Shade: Danner grumbles that they probably won’t see any kind of king on any kind of throne or have a chance to kill Vulgs, which he’d hoped to do. Now, now, you are almost certainly the main characters, so I wouldn’t worry about that! As they talk, they’re joined by Hob and Tarpy.
Of that foursome, Danner was tallest, standing three-feet-seven, with Hob and Tuck one inch shorter, and Tarpy but an inch over three-feet. Except for their height, as with all Warrows, their most striking feature was their great, strange, sparkling eyes: tilted much the same as Elves’, but of jewel-like hues: Tuck’s a sapphirine blue, Tarpy’s and Hob’s a pale emerald green, and Danner’s, the third and last color of Warrow eyes: amber gold. Like Elves, too, their ears were pointed, though hidden much of the time by their hair; for as is common among the buccen, they each had locks cropped at the shoulder, ranging in shade from Tuck’s black to Hob’s light ginger, with Danner and Tarpy both being chestnut maned. Unlike their elders, they each were young-buccan slim, not yet having settled down to hearth and home and four meals a day, or, on feast days, five.
MG: …and so not only are the Warrows known to be generally peaceful homebodies, they also eat a rather large number of meals per day. Because of course they do. *sighs* And I’ll note that we get an obvious sign of Warrows being special here – their eyes. Not only are their bright, jewel-like eyes pretty and striking, they’re also considered an in-universe sign of Warrows being a special people and will have actual plot significance going forward. And, well, compared to the hobbits it just can’t help but feel like McKiernan wanted to throw in an obviously “cool” quality for them and provide a concrete reason for Warrows being considered an exceptional people, as opposed to, again, hobbits representing the potential for strength and heroism within ordinary people. But we’ll discuss this more when we see more directly what I mean.
Shade: And so, the four young Warrows continue chattering, and soon fall into a silly argument about whether the saying is “fourth time the charm” or “third time the charm, fourth time the harm,” which is rather important considering there’s four of them and they’re assigned to the Eastdell Fourth. Tuck is sure they’ll be fine; Barlo finishes up by wishing them all luck, and saying he wishes he could go with them but he’s too old and will have another class to teach. The Warrows cheer Barlo as he reminds them to meet at the Commons in a week and all the supplies they’ll need to pack, and to be sure they all say their farewells before heading off, since it’ll probably be next spring at the earliest before they’re home again. Tuck is shocked by this but doesn’t have time to think about it before Barlo offers to buy everyone drinks at the One-Eyed Crow and they all head off singing “The Jolly Warrow,” whatever that may be, and the scene ends.
Kasanari: And so, we’re told how Tuck spends the week saying goodbye to all his favorite places – Bringo’s Stable, Dossey’s Orchard, Cachet’s Market, Gorbury’s Mill, Sugarcreek Falls and so on…
MG: Most of which will never be mentioned again…
Kasanari: But mostly he’s been helping around at his home, the Root, which apparently has comfortable burrow-rooms…
MG: Not to be confused with Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ comfortable hobbit-hole, Bag End…
Kasanari: And smoking with his father, a stonemason named Burt while his mother Tulip sews, and they talk of many things (which we are not privy too). Tuck also spends some time with his sweetheart Merrilee Holt, daughter of Bringo of Bringo’s Stables who lives in a nearby burrow. We learn how, though Merrilee is a few years younger, she and Tuck have been friends from childhood, and he’s also been teaching her some of the archery skills he’s been learning from Barlo, which is when he really started to notice how beautiful she is. We join Tuck and Merrilee as he apologizes to her about how he’ll miss her birthday party, when she’ll officially be considered a young damman. But he does have an early present for her – a gilded comb, which she loves. The two stop to watch the flowing of a nearby stream and the churning of the mill, as Merilee wonders what Tuck is thinking. He muses how some people are like the bubbles in the stream, drifting along in the current without any real understanding of where life is taking them and how many of us are blind until we’ve but a short time left to see. Merillee tears up a bit at that, and the scene ends.
MG: And I’ll note that unlike Rosie Cotton, who she’s pretty clearly an expy of (I’d say Tuck mostly corresponds to Frodo in terms of his role in the story, but has some Sam in him as well; Danner, who one might expect to be the story’s Sam-expy, actually isn’t much like any of Tolkien’s hobbits) Merrilee actually does get to be a pretty important character in the story going forward, especially with how McKiernan rearranges the order of certain events compared to Tolkien. But again, more on that when it actually happens.
Shade: …as long as she doesn’t get threatened with rape by a half-elf, half-orc maniac with an overly inflated opinion of himself, I’ll take it. We cut to Tuck later in the week telling his parents about how he and Merrilee went down to the Rillsteps today and met Danner there, and they all reminisced about playing King of the Rillrock as children, which Danner always won because nobody could ever shove him off the, er, rock and he just kept shouting about how he was the king. According to Tuck’s parents, Danner’s father was the same way. Apparently both father and son were unusually competitive and combative for Warrows; Tuck wonders what makes people who they are (do you want the short list or the long?); Tuck’s mother thinks people are born to be who they are, while his father thinks it has more to do with how they’re raised (…well, neither my birth nor my upbringing portends anything good for me, then, so I think it’s for the best if I just not weigh in on the issue). They all sit for a while watching the fire and musing on this, until Tuck’s father mentions having seen more Thornwalkers ride through the town that day, each with a string of ponies. He asks Tuck if he’s ready; Tuck admits he is, and his mother stops sewing as she cries quietly, and the scene ends.
Kasanari: We cut to Tuck the next morning in Woody Hollow Commons, where the whole town has turned out to see the new Thornwalkers off, along with some from neighboring towns that also had students in Old Barlo’s (now spelled as “Barlow” for some reason) class. The Woody Hollow Mayor gets up to give a speech – with some heckling from the audience – which we skim over, save to note that he can’t seem to make up his mind if this is a happy or solemn occasion. But finally, he rambles to the end and departs to general relief with the grand delusion that in some mysterious fashion his speech had been a smashing success after all. Barlo, his original spelling restored, then gets up and gives a much more successful speech, praising his students and wishing them well, and calling up the senior Thornwalkers who will be leading the new recruits to their postings. All the companies are called until we reach “Eastdell Fourth” and Tuck, Hob, Tarpy and Danner come forward. Tuck introduces himself and his companions to their senior Thornwalker, Patrel Rushlock, who is even shorter than Tuck and not much older, but has an authoritative presence, nonetheless.
Shade: Hey, it’s not about the height, it’s about the attitude. Patrel helps everyone get their baggage packed on their ponies but warns them to keep their bows ready in case they need them on the way – he also advises them to keep any instruments they play with them too, since they might need some cheer on the road. And indeed, Patrel himself has a lute. Soon everyone is ready to go, and they all turn to say goodbye to their relatives. Tuck’s father calls out for him to watch himself and make sure any wolves he meets learn to fear Warrows; Tuck promises he will. His mother begs him to keep warm and eat well, but bursts into tears before she can finish her advice. A friend gives him a nice pipe, and Merrilee comes forward to give Tuck a silver locket and tells her buccaran to stay safe before giving him a kiss, to general applause. Tuck’s cousin tells him to keep a journal, and he promises he’ll try. And so, with a final look at his family and Merrilee, Tuck joins his friends and they all head off after Patrel. For a while they can hear everyone cheering them as they leave, but slowly the sounds fade, and they’re left to ride on mostly in silence save for the sounds of the ponies and the occasional muffled sniffle from one, or perhaps four, of the riders. And on that note, the chapter comes to an end.
MG: Honestly, apart from my criticisms I’ve already noted, my biggest takeaway from this chapter is how it’s just shockingly obvious that McKiernan did the bare minimum to even try to strip out the obvious Tolkien influences. Sure, epic fantasy stories of the era starting in a remote, peaceful rural community or country – Hed, Shady Vale, Solace, Sendaria, the Two Rivers, etc. – was very common, but even aside from the Warrows blatantly being hobbits, it’s just remarkable how much the Boskydell reproduces the culture and social institutions of the Shire almost exactly. Looking back, sometimes I worry I was a bit too nitpicky here with all of my comparisons I noted, but while in any other story I might let some or most of them slide, taken together, the whole they add up to… it’s pretty striking, I have to say. If I didn’t know going in that this was reskinned LotR fanfic, I’d have no trouble guessing it.
But I think it’s also noteworthy that the pacing here is quite a bit different from LotR. We spend a whole chapter opening on Bilbo’s birthday party and its aftermath, and the reason for this is pretty plain – readers need to be invested in the Shire, and have it established as somewhere that, while not a perfect utopia, is a good place inhabited by people who are not numbered among the wealthy or powerful by the standards of the wider world but are prosperous and happy by their own reckoning, so that we have reason to share our heroes’ investment in its fate and desire to see it preserved. Only then do we turn to establishing the threat of Sauron. But we don’t really get the same vibe from the Boskydells; McKiernan drops us right into the world already being threatened by danger and our budding Thornwalkers preparing to face it, without ever getting a chance to see it in a time of peace first. The scenes in the latter part of the chapter with Tuck, his family and Merrilee are better, but IMO aren’t really enough by themselves to make up for it, and while Tuck is a decently likable protagonist, he doesn’t have a whole lot of depth beyond “young man signed up for the militia and is off to see the world” so far, and IMO feels rather more generic and less compelling than Frodo (some of his musings about things seem to be there to indicate that, like Frodo, he’s of a rather thoughtful turn of mind, but there’s just not a lot of depth to them, IMO). Now, Iron Tower is shorter than LotR (and even, IIRC, than Sword of Shannara), so it’s understandable that it’s somewhat faster paced, but I still think this was an oversight on McKiernan’s part that will hurt the story going forward.
Anyway, that’s all for today. Next time, the Thornwalkers set out on their journey, have a history lesson, and face their first peril. We’ll see you then!
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to begin our journey through Dennis L. McKiernan’s The Iron Tower! Today, we will meet our protagonist
Our journey through The Iron Tower begins at Book One: The Dark Tide. As I noted in the intro, Iron Tower was, like LotR itself, originally divided for publication into three volumes, though it is one long story and both the hard copy and ebook versions I own, being later editions, have it as a single volume. The Book divisions remain, however, as they do in LotR, though Iron Tower is divided into only three Books while LotR has six, and also the individual Books retain the titles they had as individual volumes (Tolkien toyed with various titles for LotR’s books, but in the finalized version they simply bear numbers; of course, this is partially because LotR has never to my knowledge been published in English in a six-volume edition, instead always being the familiar “trilogy” or a single-volume omnibus). None of this is particularly relevant to the story, of course; just somewhat interesting trivia. Both the hard copy and ebook versions have forewords, but we’ll be returning to those at the end, after we finish the entire story.
Before we begin the book proper, we have an “epigram” to introduce it:
“And that is what evil does: forces us all down dark pathways we otherwise would not have trod.” ~Rael of Arden January 10, 4E2019
And here we already have our first expy of a character from Middle-earth, even before the story properly begins – Rael of Arden is quite obviously Mithgar’s counterpart to Galadriel of Lorien, and we’ll be meeting her before Book One is completed, so you can judge the comparison for yourself.
But for now, it’s time to meet the companions who’ll be joining us on the first stage of our journey!
*two women materialize in the sporking chamber; one is a tan-skinned, dark-haired elf woman of indeterminate age clad in green and brown and carrying a wooden staff; the other is a half-elf, with dark hair and pale skin, and a somewhat roguish bearing and dress*
Everyone, meet Kasanari, exiled druid of Innetendor, and Shade, a thief and spy…
Shade: I prefer “entrepreneur,” thank you!
MG: …from nowhere in particular (or at least, she’s not telling), who have graciously taken time out of their busy schedule of trying to stop their homeland from falling into a massive war after the assassination of the emperor (long story) to spork with us today! If you’ve followed my sporking of Fellowship of the King, you know them already – if not, they and some of their companions will be helping us along our trip, as they’ve already picked up some familiarity with the actual Middle-earth in their previous… adventure.
Kasanari: *sighs* And here I’d hoped we were free of this sort of thing… but seriously, this story can’t possibly be as bad as Polychron’s work, can it?
MG: …yeah, McKiernan is hardly without his own issues, but compared to Polychron I think this will probably be a breath of fresh air. And so, it’s time to begin. Onward!
Chapter 1: Thornwalkers
Shade: Oooh, what’s a Thornwalker? *she glances over at Kasanari* It sounds rather… druid-y, don’t you think? Care to offer us any insight?
Kasanari: Shade, I am as confused as you, but I suspect if we simply proceed with the story, it might perhaps give us our answer? And indeed, it seems we open right in the thick of… something:
With a final burst of speed, the young buccan Warrow raced through ankle-deep snow, his black hair flying out behind. In one hand he carried a bow already nocked with an arrow, and he sprinted toward a fallen log, clots of snow flinging out behind his flying boots; yet little or no sound did he make, for he was one of the Wee Folk. Swiftly he reached the log and silently dropped to one knee, quickly drawing the bow to the full and loosing the arrow with a humming twang of bowstring. Even before the deadly missile had sped to the target, another arrow was released; and another, another, and another—in all, five arrows were shot in rapid succession, hissing through the air, striking home with deadly accuracy.
Kasanari: Hmmm… there are some terms here I don’t recognize; care to interpret?
MG: In fact I do! “Warrows,” as noted in the Intro post, are McKiernan’s expies of hobbits, so that’s straightforward enough. “Buccan” takes a bit more explaining. It’s not, as I’d first thought, the name of a tribe, region or village to which our so-far-unnamed protagonist belongs. McKiernan has a few… interesting quirks as a writer which he doesn’t share with Tolkien or most other fantasy writers – one of them is that he uses Man and Woman (and, especially in the early books, he always capitalizes them, so get used to that) exclusively to refer to humans. Every other race has their own specific and unique terms for “male person” and “female person,” applying only to members of that race. As you might imagine, this is the sort of thing that probably sounded cool on paper, but in practice I found it quickly got old even when I liked (some of) these books. Anyway, as you might have guessed from this, a “buccan” is a male Warrow. Presumably, that it sounds like “buck” is intentional (and should certainly not be confused with Tad Williams’ Osten Ard books, where “bukken” are goblin-like creatures that dig tunnels).
Anyway, we can already note some specific parallels to LotR here. Aside from Warrow=hobbit, we also have “the Wee Folk” as a similar term to “the Little Folk” and the fact that the narration goes out of its way to note that the Warrows can move silently, when the ability to move silently when they wish is also a skill that The Hobbit and LotR both note hobbits as possessing. All of these are minor and could be overlooked individually, but they do add up. I’ll also go ahead and note that Tolkien began LotR with a party, while McKiernan begins Iron Tower with an action scene (…of sorts, as we’ll see). We’ll discuss the implications of this a bit later in the chapter when we get some context, but I just wanted to go ahead and point it out now.
Shade: Well, it turns out that this was just practice, as someone named Old Barlo compliments our protagonist, Tuck, on his shooting (four of his five shots hit the target), and takes advantage of the opportunity to lecture a group of other trainees (I think?) on what they’ve all been doing wrong. Lectures them in what I think is supposed to be some sort of rural accent, though it doesn’t sound much like any I’ve ever heard:
“Now I’m telling all you rattlepates: draw fast, and loose quick, but no quicker as what you can fly it straight. The arrow as strays might well’er been throwed away, for all the good it does.”
Kasanari: …indeed. Well, Tuck – or rather, Tuckerby Underbank, to give his full name – retrieves his arrows from the target (a drawing of a wolf pinned up on a haycock) and goes to sit down with his friend Danner Bramblethorn, who compliments him on getting four out of five, and thinks Barlo should’ve given him the first, too, since it nicked the target, though Tuck agrees with Barlo’s call and thinks Danner is the better archer than him anyway. And, as they sit and watch the remaining trainees make their shots, we’re given some context for just what they’re doing here:
It was important that they as well as the other hardy youth of Woody Hollow become expert with the bow. Ever since the word had come from the far borders of Northdell that Wolves were about, in autumn no less, many young buccen—that time of male Warrow-hood between the end of childhood at twenty and the coming of age at thirty—in fact most young buccen of the Boskydells, had been or would be in training.
MG: A few more notes here. First off, “young buccen” between twenty and thirty, when they come of age, sounds very much like hobbits in their “tweens” before coming of age and thirty-three, don’t they? And LotR explicitly notes that while hobbits may lack in size and raw strength, they make up for it with a keen eye for ranged weapons, including thrown stones (as Bilbo demonstrated to a certain swarm of spiders in The Hobbit), slings, and indeed small bows. And “Tuckerby Underbank” sounds very much like it could be a hobbit name to my ear, and of course “Underbank” is very similar to “Underhill,” the false name Frodo used at Bree (“Danner Bramblethorn” a bit less so, though maybe that’s just me) and “Woody Hollow” even resembles “Woodhall,” a village in the Shire that gets a few mentions, though that one might actually be a coincidence.
But I think this is also the time to point out our most notable difference between Iron Tower and LotR so far. The Shire in LotR does have a militia – the “Hobbitry-at-Arms,” captained by the Thain – which gets a few mentions but hasn’t been called up in decades by the present of the story, along with law-enforcement: the Shirriffs are the closest thing the Shire has to police (though their numbers are small and they seem to deal with dangerous animals far more often than dangerous people – they only became militarized and used to crack down on the general population under the rule of Lotho and “Sharkey”) and the Bounders who watch the borders (and whose job mostly seems to have been to remind foreigners entering the Shire to behave themselves rather than anything more serious, though their numbers were increased during the troubled times leading up to the War of the Ring). Aside from Sharkey co-opting the Shirriffs, these are all pretty minor worldbuilding elements, and none of our hobbit protagonists are members of any of these groups. In Iron Tower, however, we meet our protagonists not at home in a time of peace but actively training to be part of the militia. The Warrows in general, IIRC, are rather more martially inclined than the hobbits across all the books in which they appear, though they’re still more peaceful than most of their neighbors. I don’t know what McKiernan’s specific motivations behind this choice are, but I can’t shake the feeling that in trying to make his version of hobbits more overtly “badass” McKiernan is missing the point of what the hobbits actually represent – the simple courage of ordinary people in the face of extraordinary danger and evil – in favor of trying to make them more conventional heroic protagonists.
Shade: …I’ll take your word for it. McKiernan then gives us a bit more backstory. Apparently, the winter struck early this year, killing crops, and wolves and strange Men (with capital, so I presume that means “human” based on your earlier comment?) have been seen near the Thornwall (which I guess is the border, so… the militia are the Thornwalkers, I guess? Makes sense.) and whole families of Warrows have disappeared. And there are rumors that a great Evil – with a capital “E” and everything, oooh! – has risen in someplace called Gron in the north.
Why, things hadn’t been this bad since the passing of the flaming Dragon Star with its long, blazing tail silently cleaving the heavens, what with the crop failures, cattle and sheep dying, and the plagues that it had brought on. But that was five years ago, and past, and this winter and Wolves and strange happenings were now.
Shade: …I suppose the concept that evil forces might take time to build their strength after reawakening is a bit too complicated for our Warrows (I say they’re halflings, but if McKiernan wants to call them Warrows, Warrows they shall be) to grasp?
MG: The “Dragon Star” doesn’t have a counterpart in LotR, but it does have significance in this story beyond being a bad omen, so we’ll hear more about it later. I’ll also note that I suspect the Thornwall is a parallel to the Hedge, aka the High Hay, which doesn’t surround the whole Shire but serves as the border between Buckland and the Old Forest. Gron is Mithgar’s counterpart to Mordor, fairly obviously, though its position in the far North (as opposed to Mordor being located far to the southeast of the Shire, directly east of Gondor and Rohan, and fairly centrally located in the continent in general) instead recalls Angmar (and iirc the maps of Mithgar published in later books would make it look rather like Angmar, too). As I noted in the intro, some elements of the war that will be playing out in this story feel more like the Arnor-Angmar wars related in the appendices rather than the War of the Ring, including the nature of the Warrows’ involvement. Speaking of which:
And down at the One-Eyed Crow, not only was there talk of the trouble in Northdell, but also of the Big Men far north at Challerain Keep, mustering it seems for War. At the moment, holding forth to a most attentive Warrow audience was Will Longtoes, the Second-Deputy Constable of Eastdell, who, because of his dealings with the authorities, namely various Eastdell Mayors and the Chief Constable in Centerdell, appeared to know more than most about the strange doings abroad:
MG: Okay, I hesitate to read too much into this, because fantasy fiction is thick with inns and taverns of all descriptions, so I don’t want to directly say that the One-Eyed Crow is a riff on the Green Dragon and/or the Prancing Pony, but it must be said that the early chapters of LotR include several short scenes of hobbits gossiping in taverns, and this really feels like McKiernan is going for much the same tone… though I don’t think he quite hits it, for reasons I have a hard time putting my finger on. Anyway, do note that Big Men=Big Folk, the term the hobbits use for humans in LotR. And for some context here, the High King of Mithgar has two capitals, of which Challerain Keep is the northern (which isn’t at all like the Faithful Numenoreans’ realm in exile being divided into the northern kingdom of Arnor and the southern kingdom of Gondor, why are you asking?). And this is also where the parallels to the wars with Angmar come in, as during the final days of that conflict the king of Arthedain, the last remnant of Arnor, called up support from all his vassals – and the Shire, at that time a protectorate of Arthedain, according to their own histories sent a company of archers, though no tale tells their fate. And here we’ll also see the Warrows being called on to give aid to the northern realm of Men in their battle against an evil realm even farther to the north…
Kasanari: …I think I’ll reserve judgment until I see more of this story, if you don’t mind. The good constable goes on to explain that someone named Toby Holder, whose family has connections at Stonehill, has said that hundreds of wagons are gathering there to be sent to Challerain Keep. The Warrows are stunned, and Will speculates that they must be moving their people south to avoid the troubles. King Aurion is gathering his people for war, and sending Women (yes, it’s capitalized, *sigh*) children and elders away to Wellen… Gunar and Valon… even to Pellar. None of which mean anything to me. Teddy Cloverhay, another Warrow, goes on at length as he wonders why none of the humans seem to be worried about the wolves (now, now, I have some very good friends who are wolves – they are dangerous creatures if you cross them, but they’re certainly not all bad!). Will thinks wolves are a lesser danger than war, and probably won’t attack large armed caravans (true). But many of the other Warrows don’t buy it; they think wolves would happily go for women or elders, and that all of this sounds like Word from the Beyond, which is apparently proverbial for “unverified rumor.” Also, at least some of the Warrows pronounce “well” as “wull,” which feels worth noting.
MG: There’s a saying in the Shire, strange as news from Bree. That just felt worth noting for some reason (and also the Warrows use “gaffer” as a slang term for “old man” – while AFAIK that’s actual British slang, I can’t help but note that hobbits do the same, most notable in the nickname of Hamfast “The Gaffer” Gamgee, Sam’s father). And the Warrows’ general opinion that anything form outside the Boskydells, their homeland, is untrustworthy and suspicious is pretty much the same attitude that many (though not all) hobbits have about things from outside the Shire.
Shade: Well, Will the Constable says he believes Toby, and the others decide that if Toby actually saw this, they’ll believe him, too. That was easy. They guess it must be the Evil – still capitalized – in the North, and Nob Haywood guesses it must be Modru who is responsible.
Ooohh! said some in the crowd, for Modru of Gron strode through many a legend, and he was always painted the blackest evil, and so was also commonly known as “the Evil One.”
Shade: …think I could’ve gathered that last part for myself, thanks. Nob’s heard rumors that Modru has returned from his exile in the most remote North, and Gaffer Tom starts rambling about old stories he’s heard about how Modru is the master of both cold and wolves (sounds like a charming fellow…). He thinks the early winter, and the destruction of the harvest, must be Modru’s doing. All the Warrows are disturbed by this idea, as one might imagine, because if it truly was Modru returned, then it was a dire prospect all of Mithgar faced.
MG: …let’s just say that Sauron was also said to govern the weather of Mordor, and that the Witch-King, when he ruled in Angmar, was attributed with power over winter storms by the Lossoth of Forochel (Arvedui, the last king of Arthedain, didn’t buy it… but considering Arvedui died when a freak storm sank his ship and everyone aboard, the clear implication is the Lossoth were right and he was wrong). Not that this sort of magic is all that unusual in fantasy, mind, but it is another point of commonality (and while Modru is mostly an expy of Sauron, I think he’s got a bit of the Witch King in him as well). And Sauron himself, per the Sil, was the Lord of Wolves long before he was Lord of the Rings.
Kasanari: Well, another Warrow, the hunter Bingo Peacher, feels compelled to speak up in defense of wolves – wolves have no “master,” and sometimes they even help the elves, but only when the elves ask nicely. I like Bingo already. He says wolves can be dangerous, if they’re provoked or hungry, and he doesn’t doubt Modru may have driven them out of their usual territory to seek prey elsewhere, if it really is him, but he doesn’t control them. Modru is the master of Vulgs, which are apparently like wolves but larger, more aggressive, and far more dangerous. Will the Constable, however, notices that this revelation has everyone on the verge of panic and tries to calm them down.
“Here now!” cried Will Longtoes, sharply. “There ain’t no cause to believe them old dammen’s tales. They’re just stories to tell youngers to get ’em to behave. Besides, even if they were true, well, you all knows that Modru and Vulgs can’t face the daylight: they suffer the Ban! And Adon’s Ban has held true from the end of the Second Era till now: more than four-thousand years! So stop all this prattle about Modru comin’ to get us.” Will had put up his best show of confidence, but the Second-Deputy Constable of Eastdell neither looked nor sounded sure of himself, for Gaffer Tom’s and Bingo’s words had shaken him, too. Many was the time as a youngling he’d been told that Modru and his Vulgs would get him if he didn’t mind his manners; and, too, he recalled the fearful saying: Vulg’s black bite slays at night.
MG: Adon is the highest deity of Mithgar (though he’s more Manwe than Eru Iluvatar; later books will posit, but never confirm, the existence of a deity even loftier than Adon, the Great Creator). Vulgs, of course, are Mithgar’s version of wargs. I do think it’s notable that McKiernan always makes a firm distinction between wolves and Vulgs (though later books will confirm that the silver wolves who are friendly with the elves are no more the mundane Canis lupus we know than Vulgs are); Tolkien doesn’t always do the same with wolves and wargs (and wolves don’t tend to get very good press in a lot of the European myth and folklore he was inspired by). “Dammen” are female Warrows, so “old dammen’s tales” would be “old wives’ tales.”
Also, this feels like a place to point out a problem I noted in the Intro post – that despite ostensibly having a history that spans thousands of years, Mithgar is a remarkably static place. Here we see random people in a tavern holding forth casually – and accurately – about events that happened four thousand years ago and feeling confident treating it as common knowledge. This isn’t really something you see in LotR – you have elves, wizards and ents who have extensive knowledge about historical events they were there for, however deep in the past they might be; and the dwarves and Dunedain have ancient nations with roots in a past deeper still and keep long histories. But peoples like the hobbits or the Rohirrim, who don’t have that same context, mostly trace their histories back to the founding of their own nations at most, but don’t have much knowledge of the truly deep past of Middle-earth from long before their civilizations even existed. For most hobbits, Sauron is at most a vague boogeyman out of ancient legends, whose current activities they know only by vague rumor – in contrast to the Warrows, who seem remarkably well-informed about Modru’s history and weaknesses, and can make reasonable guesses about his current activities. And, for another example, later Mithgar novels will feature the elven mariner Aravan as a major recurring character. Thousands of years before the story’s present, Aravan was a legendary seafarer who captained a ship with a cutting-edge design, faster and more deadly than any other vessel at sea. Eventually, he’d walk away from that life for personal reasons- but IIRC when he returns to it in Silver Wolf, Black Falcon, thousands of years later, he finds the old port he used to sail out of still in the same place, basically unchanged in character, where the human locals tell fond stories of how their ancestors sailed with him and are happy to sign up for his crew themselves, and his recovered ship is still the most advanced thing on the seas – as if he’d been gone for maybe a century at most, rather than somewhere in the vicinity of five to six thousand years.
Shade: Huh. Gaffer Tom says “old dammen’s tales” tend to have a root of truth – which my mothers also always tried to drum into me, more or less – and he thinks that Vulgs are responsible for the people who disappeared, and that it may well be Modru’s doing. This gets everyone talking, and Will goes on to remind everyone that wolves or Vulgs, either way that’s why someone called the Gammer started organizing Wolf Patrols on their northern borders, and wolves and any other threat will soon fear Warrows, right enough. And we get some more information about how Gammer Alderbuc is the former captain of the Thornwalkers and a legend in their own lifetime and all that, and how the Thornwalkers are one of the Boskydells’ major services, along with the Postal Messengers and the Constables…
MG: Not to be confused with the Bounders, Shirrifs, and Shire Post, of course…
Shade: And how their numbers are increased in times of danger to protect the Boskydells and the Thornwall of “spindlethorn” hedges that encircles them from intruders. And the group of archers we saw Old Barlo training at the opening of this chapter are indeed new Thornwalker recruits, as we all had probably gathered. But Gaffer Tom thinks that if they really are dealing with Modru’s Vulgs, the Thornwalkers will have a fight on their hands and had better learn to shoot true, and the scene ends there.
Kasanari: And so we cut to our assurance that the new Thornwalkers did indeed learn to shoot true:
Over the past six weeks, Old Barlo had had them shooting in the bright of day and the dark of night, in calm still air and through gusting winds, through blowing dim snow and across blinding white, from far and near and at still targets and moving ones, on level ground and uphill and down, in open fields and close brambly woods. And now they were learning to shoot accurately while breathless and panting after sprinting silently for a good distance. And the young buccen Warrows had learned well, for the shafts now sped true to the target, most to strike in or near the small circle. But of all of Barlo’s students, two stood out: Danner was tops with Tuck a close second.
Kasanari: Finally, Barlo gathers his students around, reminds them of the trouble up north and telling them that Captain Alver of the Thornwalkers asked him to train a group of good bowmen (or rather, bowbuccen) and that he’s done, and now he’s graduating them to become full Thornwalkers. Everyone starts talking at once – Tuck is thrilled, Danner thinks it’s about time. Barlo calms everyone down, telling them they have a week at home before the Thornwalkers will come to assign them to their companies. Even so, Tuck is overwhelmed at the thought that he’ll be leaving home and heading to the border in a week, though he manages to assure himself it’s for the best. Barlo starts telling everyone what companies they’ll be assigned to; Tuck and Danner along with Tarpy and Hob are posted to the Eastdell Fourth, who are assigned to watch the northern road that leads to Challerain Keep, the High King’s summer throne. In other words, exactly the assignment one might expect our seeming protagonists to receive.
Shade: Danner grumbles that they probably won’t see any kind of king on any kind of throne or have a chance to kill Vulgs, which he’d hoped to do. Now, now, you are almost certainly the main characters, so I wouldn’t worry about that! As they talk, they’re joined by Hob and Tarpy.
Of that foursome, Danner was tallest, standing three-feet-seven, with Hob and Tuck one inch shorter, and Tarpy but an inch over three-feet. Except for their height, as with all Warrows, their most striking feature was their great, strange, sparkling eyes: tilted much the same as Elves’, but of jewel-like hues: Tuck’s a sapphirine blue, Tarpy’s and Hob’s a pale emerald green, and Danner’s, the third and last color of Warrow eyes: amber gold. Like Elves, too, their ears were pointed, though hidden much of the time by their hair; for as is common among the buccen, they each had locks cropped at the shoulder, ranging in shade from Tuck’s black to Hob’s light ginger, with Danner and Tarpy both being chestnut maned. Unlike their elders, they each were young-buccan slim, not yet having settled down to hearth and home and four meals a day, or, on feast days, five.
MG: …and so not only are the Warrows known to be generally peaceful homebodies, they also eat a rather large number of meals per day. Because of course they do. *sighs* And I’ll note that we get an obvious sign of Warrows being special here – their eyes. Not only are their bright, jewel-like eyes pretty and striking, they’re also considered an in-universe sign of Warrows being a special people and will have actual plot significance going forward. And, well, compared to the hobbits it just can’t help but feel like McKiernan wanted to throw in an obviously “cool” quality for them and provide a concrete reason for Warrows being considered an exceptional people, as opposed to, again, hobbits representing the potential for strength and heroism within ordinary people. But we’ll discuss this more when we see more directly what I mean.
Shade: And so, the four young Warrows continue chattering, and soon fall into a silly argument about whether the saying is “fourth time the charm” or “third time the charm, fourth time the harm,” which is rather important considering there’s four of them and they’re assigned to the Eastdell Fourth. Tuck is sure they’ll be fine; Barlo finishes up by wishing them all luck, and saying he wishes he could go with them but he’s too old and will have another class to teach. The Warrows cheer Barlo as he reminds them to meet at the Commons in a week and all the supplies they’ll need to pack, and to be sure they all say their farewells before heading off, since it’ll probably be next spring at the earliest before they’re home again. Tuck is shocked by this but doesn’t have time to think about it before Barlo offers to buy everyone drinks at the One-Eyed Crow and they all head off singing “The Jolly Warrow,” whatever that may be, and the scene ends.
Kasanari: And so, we’re told how Tuck spends the week saying goodbye to all his favorite places – Bringo’s Stable, Dossey’s Orchard, Cachet’s Market, Gorbury’s Mill, Sugarcreek Falls and so on…
MG: Most of which will never be mentioned again…
Kasanari: But mostly he’s been helping around at his home, the Root, which apparently has comfortable burrow-rooms…
MG: Not to be confused with Bilbo and Frodo Baggins’ comfortable hobbit-hole, Bag End…
Kasanari: And smoking with his father, a stonemason named Burt while his mother Tulip sews, and they talk of many things (which we are not privy too). Tuck also spends some time with his sweetheart Merrilee Holt, daughter of Bringo of Bringo’s Stables who lives in a nearby burrow. We learn how, though Merrilee is a few years younger, she and Tuck have been friends from childhood, and he’s also been teaching her some of the archery skills he’s been learning from Barlo, which is when he really started to notice how beautiful she is. We join Tuck and Merrilee as he apologizes to her about how he’ll miss her birthday party, when she’ll officially be considered a young damman. But he does have an early present for her – a gilded comb, which she loves. The two stop to watch the flowing of a nearby stream and the churning of the mill, as Merilee wonders what Tuck is thinking. He muses how some people are like the bubbles in the stream, drifting along in the current without any real understanding of where life is taking them and how many of us are blind until we’ve but a short time left to see. Merillee tears up a bit at that, and the scene ends.
MG: And I’ll note that unlike Rosie Cotton, who she’s pretty clearly an expy of (I’d say Tuck mostly corresponds to Frodo in terms of his role in the story, but has some Sam in him as well; Danner, who one might expect to be the story’s Sam-expy, actually isn’t much like any of Tolkien’s hobbits) Merrilee actually does get to be a pretty important character in the story going forward, especially with how McKiernan rearranges the order of certain events compared to Tolkien. But again, more on that when it actually happens.
Shade: …as long as she doesn’t get threatened with rape by a half-elf, half-orc maniac with an overly inflated opinion of himself, I’ll take it. We cut to Tuck later in the week telling his parents about how he and Merrilee went down to the Rillsteps today and met Danner there, and they all reminisced about playing King of the Rillrock as children, which Danner always won because nobody could ever shove him off the, er, rock and he just kept shouting about how he was the king. According to Tuck’s parents, Danner’s father was the same way. Apparently both father and son were unusually competitive and combative for Warrows; Tuck wonders what makes people who they are (do you want the short list or the long?); Tuck’s mother thinks people are born to be who they are, while his father thinks it has more to do with how they’re raised (…well, neither my birth nor my upbringing portends anything good for me, then, so I think it’s for the best if I just not weigh in on the issue). They all sit for a while watching the fire and musing on this, until Tuck’s father mentions having seen more Thornwalkers ride through the town that day, each with a string of ponies. He asks Tuck if he’s ready; Tuck admits he is, and his mother stops sewing as she cries quietly, and the scene ends.
Kasanari: We cut to Tuck the next morning in Woody Hollow Commons, where the whole town has turned out to see the new Thornwalkers off, along with some from neighboring towns that also had students in Old Barlo’s (now spelled as “Barlow” for some reason) class. The Woody Hollow Mayor gets up to give a speech – with some heckling from the audience – which we skim over, save to note that he can’t seem to make up his mind if this is a happy or solemn occasion. But finally, he rambles to the end and departs to general relief with the grand delusion that in some mysterious fashion his speech had been a smashing success after all. Barlo, his original spelling restored, then gets up and gives a much more successful speech, praising his students and wishing them well, and calling up the senior Thornwalkers who will be leading the new recruits to their postings. All the companies are called until we reach “Eastdell Fourth” and Tuck, Hob, Tarpy and Danner come forward. Tuck introduces himself and his companions to their senior Thornwalker, Patrel Rushlock, who is even shorter than Tuck and not much older, but has an authoritative presence, nonetheless.
Shade: Hey, it’s not about the height, it’s about the attitude. Patrel helps everyone get their baggage packed on their ponies but warns them to keep their bows ready in case they need them on the way – he also advises them to keep any instruments they play with them too, since they might need some cheer on the road. And indeed, Patrel himself has a lute. Soon everyone is ready to go, and they all turn to say goodbye to their relatives. Tuck’s father calls out for him to watch himself and make sure any wolves he meets learn to fear Warrows; Tuck promises he will. His mother begs him to keep warm and eat well, but bursts into tears before she can finish her advice. A friend gives him a nice pipe, and Merrilee comes forward to give Tuck a silver locket and tells her buccaran to stay safe before giving him a kiss, to general applause. Tuck’s cousin tells him to keep a journal, and he promises he’ll try. And so, with a final look at his family and Merrilee, Tuck joins his friends and they all head off after Patrel. For a while they can hear everyone cheering them as they leave, but slowly the sounds fade, and they’re left to ride on mostly in silence save for the sounds of the ponies and the occasional muffled sniffle from one, or perhaps four, of the riders. And on that note, the chapter comes to an end.
MG: Honestly, apart from my criticisms I’ve already noted, my biggest takeaway from this chapter is how it’s just shockingly obvious that McKiernan did the bare minimum to even try to strip out the obvious Tolkien influences. Sure, epic fantasy stories of the era starting in a remote, peaceful rural community or country – Hed, Shady Vale, Solace, Sendaria, the Two Rivers, etc. – was very common, but even aside from the Warrows blatantly being hobbits, it’s just remarkable how much the Boskydell reproduces the culture and social institutions of the Shire almost exactly. Looking back, sometimes I worry I was a bit too nitpicky here with all of my comparisons I noted, but while in any other story I might let some or most of them slide, taken together, the whole they add up to… it’s pretty striking, I have to say. If I didn’t know going in that this was reskinned LotR fanfic, I’d have no trouble guessing it.
But I think it’s also noteworthy that the pacing here is quite a bit different from LotR. We spend a whole chapter opening on Bilbo’s birthday party and its aftermath, and the reason for this is pretty plain – readers need to be invested in the Shire, and have it established as somewhere that, while not a perfect utopia, is a good place inhabited by people who are not numbered among the wealthy or powerful by the standards of the wider world but are prosperous and happy by their own reckoning, so that we have reason to share our heroes’ investment in its fate and desire to see it preserved. Only then do we turn to establishing the threat of Sauron. But we don’t really get the same vibe from the Boskydells; McKiernan drops us right into the world already being threatened by danger and our budding Thornwalkers preparing to face it, without ever getting a chance to see it in a time of peace first. The scenes in the latter part of the chapter with Tuck, his family and Merrilee are better, but IMO aren’t really enough by themselves to make up for it, and while Tuck is a decently likable protagonist, he doesn’t have a whole lot of depth beyond “young man signed up for the militia and is off to see the world” so far, and IMO feels rather more generic and less compelling than Frodo (some of his musings about things seem to be there to indicate that, like Frodo, he’s of a rather thoughtful turn of mind, but there’s just not a lot of depth to them, IMO). Now, Iron Tower is shorter than LotR (and even, IIRC, than Sword of Shannara), so it’s understandable that it’s somewhat faster paced, but I still think this was an oversight on McKiernan’s part that will hurt the story going forward.
Anyway, that’s all for today. Next time, the Thornwalkers set out on their journey, have a history lesson, and face their first peril. We’ll see you then!
