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masterghandalfThis is a repost from Das_sporking2. Previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
Warning: This chapter contains more violence, several deaths, and some squicky moments.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Ed Greenwood’s Shadows of Doom! We’re almost at the end, folks, with just three chapters (counting this one) to go – and yet so much of this book has been an interminable slog that barely has anything to do with anything this trilogy is actually about! Yay! Last time, Manshoon sent a bunch more assassins after Elminster, Elminster and Sharantyr finally made it out of High Dale and to the ruined fortress of Spellgard, and in the depths of said fortress something woke up in response to our heroes’ presence. Today, it’s time for everyone’ paths to cross as we hurtle towards our actual climax! Joining us once again will be Errezha and Calassara!
Chapter Twenty-Two: Magemoot at Spellgard
Errezha: What is a “magemoot?” Is it a kind of formal meeting? Because I’ll have you know, I sat through far too many of those as an adolescent (because Mother made me take notes for her…) to look forward to this with any excitement. We open with the sudden appearance of a young man brandishing a wand in what was an empty stone hall. Silence hung heavy in Spellgard. Avaerl of Sembresh peered around in the weird, dim light of the glowing mosses and muttered a quick spell. Ah, so it’s one of Manshoon’s assassins then. And no doubt not long for this world, so I won’t bother getting attached. His spell causes him to become invisible, and then he performs another to levitate himself up to a nearby balcony. Apparently, he’s learned about
Elminster and his woman companion from an informant in High Castle – Xanther? Or someone else? – but he sees no sign of them here, so he sets off. Let the hunt begin. Yes, not long indeed, I think.
Calassara: Well, he might surprise us yet – probably not, but one can hope! We cut to Itharr, lying in bed as someone wakes him up and tells him they have a problem. Itharr… is not receptive (well, he is trying to sleep). The Zhentarim have sent an army? Well, defeat them, and tell me about it in the morning. …why do I find myself thinking that if the Zhentarim really had sent an army, that’s about how it would play out? Greenwood is just that predictable, I suppose… *sigh* Belkram corrects him that no, Elminster has disappeared, which they think is a rather worse problem, because of course they do. Itharr pulls himself out of bed, careful not to wake his bedmate – surprisingly courteous, for a Greenwood hero – and grabs his weapons and, at Belkram’s insistence, his clothes (why do I have a feeling that if Itharr was a woman, Greenwood would have had her stay naked for the entire scene?). Itharr wonders if Elminster has just gone to relieve himself, or look at the stars, or find a wench who’ll have him – charming images! – but Belkram insists Elminster’s safety is too important to risk. *sighs again, louder* Boys, boys, I commend your dedication to your duty, but I’m afraid your author’s biases are showing through. Again. Itharr mutters a prayer to Tymora and runs from the room after getting his clothes on; Belkram describes how Gedaern woke him up by running into his room and screaming, and he thought he’d be gentler with Itharr. Hmm; they’re both being unusually courteous this chapter. When will the other boot drop, I wonder? Itharr thanks him and wonders if they have a band of willing idiots to help with their hunt – ah, there it is! Belkram says they do, and the two of them make two more idiots to lead them. At least he’s self-deprecating? Itharr grumbles at him at that (I guess someone’s not quite so humble…) and the scene ends.
Errezha: We then cut to the other Zhentarim assassin, Zalarth Bloodbrow – what, did he get an embarrassing cut on his forehead once and no one ever let him live it down? – as he and his men make their way through the portal in High Castle. Or try to, at least, as one of them… has already fallen into the cesspit and is thrashing around in it… and then once everyone else is across, Zalarth casts a spell to freeze him in place and he stared at the wizard in wide-eyed, openmouthed, silent horror as he sank slowly into the thick brown ooze… the hair coiled momentarily amid bubbles… and then there was nothing… Prince help me, that is so disgusting, I think I’m going to be sick… When Zalarth’s other men wonder what happened, Zalarth dismissively attributes it to a seizure, and then he and the others head off through the portal. He conjures a shield around him, at least in part in case one of the others realized what really happened and tries to stab him in the back, and then Zalarth of the Zhentarim stepped forward in the darkness and went to war. And now, if you’ll excuse me. *she turns and flees the sporking chamber; from outside, the sounds of loud retching can be heard*
Calassara: *looking concerned* She’ll be all right… I think… And so, we cut to Belkram and Itharr as they remember finding Elminster at the cesspool a few chapters ago and wonder if that’s where he went now (what a shocking revelation!). Itharr thinks he must have been after something down there and decides it must be a portal and not treasure (how he knows this… is not explained). The two of them run down through the castle, a mob of dalemen “thundering” after them (I certainly hope nobody is actually trying to sleep in this castle…). One of them complains that the only people crazier than Harpers are wizards (what about Harpers who are wizards, hmmm?) and another says that it’s good they’re that crazy, or we’d still be kissing Longspear’s feet… and another part of that Stormcloak’s body, too. *arching an eyebrow* And what part would that be, pray tell? The first daleman says he’d wondered what his companion was up to on nights he disappeared – are, are you implying what I think you’re implying? Because if you are, it doesn’t seem to be something to joke about, in the circumstances! The second daleman makes an obscene suggestion Greenwood doesn’t share, Gedaern tells them both to be quiet, and the scene ends. We then cut to Xanther, hiding and listening as Zalarth – or possibly Avaerl, he only knows them as one of Manshoon’s killers – steps out of hiding, pulls out a scroll, and uses it to cast a spell to illuminate the cesspit. He prepares to step through the portal when he’s suddenly interrupted by the arrival of the Dalefolk. Realizing he has to hurry, he steps through quickly – risking mis-stepping and falling in the pit – and vanishes, and the scene ends.
Errezha: *coming back in, looking queasy but determined* Have I mentioned that I simply cannot abide filth? Now, where are we? We find ourselves – back at the cesspit, how have I offended you, oh prince of law? Belkram and Itharr have arrived just in time to see Xanther’s light vanish. They start exploring the chamber, trying to find the portal; Itharr determines, correctly (again, how?) that if they don’t enter it exactly the right way, they’ll never find it. Belkram protests that it could take days – several no doubt very filthy and foul-smelling days – to do that, and then another voice interrupts, offering to help. And it’s one of the council members! Jatham the weaver, who is also, as Gedaern points out, Jatham the Thayan; apparently Elminster told Gedaern that, but Jatham wants to make a deal. Gedaern will let him leave the Dale peacefully and with all his possessions, and in return he’ll give them all the intelligence he’s gathered on the other councilors and tell Belkram and Itharr how to work the portal. Why, isn’t that just convenient – too convenient, I’m almost tempted to say! Gedearn is skeptical after all you’ve done (which is… what? Jatham has barely been in this book!) and Jatham says that for most of the past year (year? Were the Zhentarim in High Dale for a year now? And Elminster still didn’t notice? By the Prince!) he’s mainly been working to undermine the Zhentarim, and his efforts probably saved the lives of some of the people in this room (well, if my understanding of the political situation is correct, Thay and Zhentil Keep are rivals, so I suppose that checks out). Gedaern wonders how Jatham could be so effective against wizards, and so he promptly levitates his lantern, proving that he’s a wizard himself – not a very powerful one, by his own admission, but enough of one he could be a problem if Gedaern doesn’t take his deal. And, beg pardon, but why are we having this conversation with Gedaern? Why isn’t Mulmar in this scene? He’s supposed to be in charge!
Calassara: *patting Errezha on the shoulder* Now, now. We’re almost through, and I suspect expecting Greenwood to actually be consistent at this stage is a bit much to ask. Everyone has a standoff for a bit, and then Gedaern wonders what’s stopping Jatham from using magic on them as soon as their backs are turned – and then someone announces she will! It’s Ulraea, the Daleswoman who was watching out for Daera during the battle! And she’s… Jatham’s lover, apparently? I know him as no other in this dale, and I tell you he has not worked against us of the dale while Longspear lorded it over us, and will not do so this night. This is… quite a lot to throw at me at once, Greenwood! Why are we only learning this now? And I still wonder why the dalesfolk weren’t the actual focus of this story, instead of Elminster the Insufferable and his merry band? Gedaern is stunned to realize that Ulla really loves Jatham and means to go with him, and Ulraea says she will – and for now, she even promises to be Gedaern’s hostage, for him to kill if Jatham tries to work magic against High Dale before he leaves. Jatham is horrified, but Gedaern is convinced – he tells Ulraea that won’t be necessary (is that a Greenwood hero actually doing something decent? I’m in shock!), tells Jatham they have a deal, sheathes his sword and they shake on it. Jatham explains a lot we heard in the last few chapters, about how the gate works and that it leads to Spellgard, near Anauroch. Because the path is dangerous, he recommends the dalefolk not go, but the Harpers are determined. Belkram thanks both Gedaern and Jatham. May the High Dale know peace for a good long time now. We must leave you in haste, for we’re charged to follow Elminster and keep him safe. And so, we’re leaving the place where most of this story has happened behind, to have a climax at a place we only just were introduced to last chapter? *she sighs* Oh, Greenwood… The Harpers explain that they’ve been told that Elminster must live or, I fear, even gods will fall. I’m quite certain that’s going to happen anyway… it’s the Time of Troubles, after all! Everyone else is appropriately stunned, though, and the Harpers salute them and set off. They’re tired, but they strode ahead without pause, for they were Harpers. Hmmm. “But she strode ahead without pause, for she was a Pathfinder.” No, saying that about myself still sounds ridiculous and pompous.
Errezha: And so, we get a description of Spellgard. Spellgard was tall, dark and gloomy. Mushrooms and luminescent mosses grew here and there about its empty stone chambers. There was no sign of life. Even the torn, dusty cobwebs seemed to have been spun long ago by spiders now vanished. Yet there was a curious presence about the place, a silent, waiting feel as if something unseen were watching. …at least it isn’t the cesspit. Elminster and Sharantyr continue making their way through rooms empty save for the remnants of old furniture, and the old scars of a battle long ago. Elminster takes the lead as they keep going forward, and the scene ends. We then cut to Zalarth and his Zhentarim as they make their own way through the ruins, and we’re told they’re experienced and trained enough to not be bothered by them. They pass through several stone chambers and then suddenly stop as they find a figure facing them. Is this who awoke at the end of the previous chapter, perhaps? It was tall and very thin, clad in dark and dusty robes. Its face was skull-like and white, its eyes dark sockets. A lich! Or perhaps just an illusion… *rolling her eyes* No, I do believe that’s an actual lich. Zalarth wonders if this is some sort of trap set by Elminster or Avaerl and motions his men forward, while the lich drops something to the floor. As they approach, light flickers in the lich’s sockets, and apparently the body is intact enough for Zalarth to guess she is, or was in her mortal life, a woman. And then she speaks. Well met and welcome, adventurers. Put aside your weapons and speak with me in peace, if you would. I mean no harm. I’ve waited so very long for someone to find me. That… is ominous to the point of being terrifying. I would flee, but it may already be too late…
Calassara: I would have to agree. Ancient and powerful undead offering polite words to visiting mortals, in my experience, rarely ends well for mortals – especially when said undead have been waiting for them! Zalarth, though, asks who, and what, she is, and the lich introduces herself as Saharel. *beat* Elminster’s old friend is a lich? Why am I not surprised… The years have been no kinder to me than to Netheril itself, but I still abide here. I was under the impression that Netheril perished in an instant, destroyed by the hubris of its greatest archwizard, so strange as it may seem, Saharel might have actually gotten lucky with her slow slide into oblivion instead… She asks who Zalarth is and steps forward, and we get a lovely description of her hair, once beautiful and now filled with mold… as Zalarth begins a spell to command the undead. *facepalms* Zalarth, Zalarthy. I barely know you, but you don’t seem to be a particularly powerful wizard. And to even become a lich in the first place, you have to be powerful – and most liches, with centuries or millennia to perfect their arts, then grow far stronger still! Haven’t you considered you might be punching slightly out of your weight class? And indeed, Saharel decries his lack of manners and asks if he’s only here for plunder; one of the Zhentarim throws his knife at her, but predictably it only lodges harmlessly in her arm. So you would bring death to me, where the gods failed? Die, fools, and despoil my home no longer! …what an entirely predictable turn of events! She blasts the Zhentarim with bolts of magic; Zalarth finishes his spell, but it has no effect. What are you, that you defy my Art? *slowly and carefully, as though speaking to a small child* She’s a lich. And almost certainly far, far more powerful than you! Haven’t we been over this? Saharel corrects him that she’s an archlich – Savored Sting, that sounds even worse! – and demands an apology. Zalarth honestly admits he’s sorry he ever met her, and then finally shows some wisdom as he turns and bolts.
MG: We’ll talk more about what an “archlich” is next time, but for now, just know that it’s a specific kind of creature, not just a term for “unusually powerful lich.”
Errezha: Lovely. And so Zalarth flees through Spellgard’s corridors, until at last he runs out on a balcony – and looks down into the room below, where Elminster and Sharantyr, with a drawn wand and sword respectively, are squaring off against Avaerl. *flatly* And so we’re all here. How fortunate. We really are at the point in the story where Greenwood is just throwing plot points at us, aren’t we? Avaerl raises a wand of his own. Die by the order of Manshoon, Lord Most High of the Zhentarim! Die at the hand of Avaerl of Sembresh! Sharantyr complains that it sounds like he’s trying to talk them to death – oh, please, I’ve known people far more pompously long-winded – and throws a knife, knocking the wand from his hand, before charging. Suddenly a bolt of lightning from another balcony blasts her, along with a voice taunting that she’s not so scary now. It’s Xanther! Everyone really is all here, aren’t they? And so it is by the hand of Xanther that the famous Elminster shall perish! *rubs her forehead* Long-winded or not, have none of these people learned to blast first, then gloat? And why shoot Sharantyr when Elminster himself is right there? Elminster himself just sighs, noting that he’s heard such boasts before – Manshoon himself has said it twice – and he’s still here. And, only twice? I’d have expected more than that, honestly… Xanther does shoot him now, and Elminster just teleports away and reappears behind him on the balcony. Quite a feat, for a man with no magic! He then casually shoves Xanther over the edge and sends him falling to the floor below. The sharp sounds of Xanther’s bones shattering echoed loudly in the hall. His body bounced limply and then hung motionless atop the table. Rivers of dark blood ran swiftly down the stone. *queasy* And that’s it for Xanther, I suppose… really, he lasted longer than I expected…
Calassara: Elminster looks away from him and calls out to ask Sharantyr if she’s alive; Avaerl shoots magic missiles at him, and Elminster just sits down – literally, he sits down – and lets them hit him, to no apparent effect. *sigh* Greenwood’s not even trying anymore, is he? Zalarthy then takes an opportunity to blast the balcony with a fireball and is pleased to see Elminster vanish in flames; he decides he has to get over there quickly to grab some trophy as proof of his death, and then flee to report back to Manshoon before Saharel arrives. He teleports over to the balcony, and finds it hot and smoky but, of course, there’s no sign of Elminster’s body. Are you really surprised? He suddenly hears a thud and looks down to see Elminster standing over the crumpled form of Avaerl with a bloody stone in his hand. That’s for what ye did to the lass. *sigh* Greenwood is killing off the villains off-page now. This is what we’ve descended to. Elminster hurries over to Sharantyr, does something – how informative! – and runs off again. Zalarth teleports to another balcony, draws a wand, and spots Elminster smoking his pipe on yet another balcony (how many of these does this room have, exactly?). Zalarth teleports himself behind Elminster and blasts him, only for Elminster to teleport away at the last second, and Zalarth’s wand spat death at empty air. Riveting. He suddenly sees Saharel approaching down a hallway, and teleports himself to the floor of the hall, only to spot Avaerl getting to his feet like an awakened zombie. Ah, not dead after all! Unless he literally is a zombie now… is that better or worse? Avaerl recognizes Zalarth and demands to know why he’s here, so Zalarth just shoots him with the wand, because apparently teamwork is something that the Zhentarim aren’t familiar with. Avaerl collapses again, and as he dies for real, he gasps out Gulkuth! But nothing happens, and Zalarth is left with no idea what it means.
MG: And that is the last time the name “Gulkuth” is spoken in this book. So, that bit last chapter about Avaerl finding that this was the true name of a powerful Zhentarim mage, possibly Manshoon himself? And that he might use it to gain power over said mage? Completely pointless! Fun!
Errezha: *facepalms* Gah, but we’re almost through… Zalarth is suddenly distracted by Sharantyr as she climbs back to her feet, the healing ring on her hand. Zalarth levels a wand at her. It is always a pleasure to destroy a Knight of Myth Drannor. Die, bitch! No, really, she’s one of the more tolerable ones. Kill Torm instead, if you please. *beat* And exactly how many of the Knights have you killed before this? How many of them are there? And that’s when a voice greets him from behind, another voice says the pleasure’s all theirs, and then farewell, tyrant mage. *spluttering* Tyrant? This man is a lackey, at best! The standards for tyranny in Faerun must be unbelievably low… And then two swords run Zalarth through, and he collapses in agony and sank forever into the nothingness beyond them.
MG: Well, the joke’s on him, since the afterlife is very much a thing in Faerun… and for that matter, since the Time of Troubles has started, none of the gods are currently in a position to claim their followers’ souls, and the dead are just sort of… piling up outside the gates of Myrkul’s city in the Fugue Plane, waiting for judgment. And it’ll be like that for a while. So, Zalarth isn’t going to be getting oblivion… but he is going to be getting several months of utter tedium before things get resolved, so yay for him? Though after that… he’s a Zhent, so he’s probably a Banite, and Bane won’t be around to claim him after the Time of Troubles. So, he’ll probably either end up serving Cyric (not fun!) or getting his soul mortared into the Wall of the Faithless for eternity (less fun!). Tedium’s not sounding so bad, actually…
Calassara: …I think I’ll stay on Golarion and take my chances with Pharasma, thank you. We cut to Belkram – of course that’s who it is – as he suggests cutting off Zalarth’s fingers, since they don’t know what his rings do and don’t want to have to keep killing him over and over again. Hey, now, it works for Elminster and Manshoon! That makes up the majority of their relationship, doesn’t it? Speaking of Elminster, they wonder where he is and then spot him smoking across the room, where he waves lazily at them. And that’s when Saharel pops up behind him. A bone-white face had appeared, a gleam in its dark eye sockets and a widening grin stretching its ghastly jaw. Long, skeletal arms reached for the Old Mage… the three rangers realize there’s nothing they can do; Sharantyr calls out a prayer to Mystra, and the chapter ends. And since Elminster and Saharel are supposedly old friends… I’m going to assume that this cliffhanger isn’t actually one and is going to be resolved very anticlimactically next time.
MG: How’d you guess? Well, in a word, this chapter is rushed. Everybody’s at Spellgard now, but because we’ve wasted so much time in High Dale we really have to hurry to get all our pieces in place for the actual climax. And so, we have everyone running around Spellgard, lots of fighting, lots of Zhents dying, revelations about Jatham, and it all feels like it’s rushing by far too quickly to actually care about any of it. And Elminster’s just randomly pulling out new powers now, because he still can’t cast spells and I don’t think we knew one of the artifacts he had on him would let him teleport… but apparently it does! And I guess “magemoot” is just a fancy term for “lots of mages show up and fight and some of them die,” which describes a good chunk of what Greenwood has ever written. But we officially met Saharel the Archlich, and she’s actually one of the few things in this book that ties it to the overall storyline of the trilogy involving the Malaugrym… so it’s really, really weird that Greenwood waits until the very end of the book to introduce her. Anyway, we’re all done for today. Next time, Saharel’s secrets revealed, Manshoon decides to take matters into his own hands, and a bunch of characters who haven’t shown up in this book get to make cameos! We’ll see you then!
Warning: This chapter contains more violence, several deaths, and some squicky moments.
MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Ed Greenwood’s Shadows of Doom! We’re almost at the end, folks, with just three chapters (counting this one) to go – and yet so much of this book has been an interminable slog that barely has anything to do with anything this trilogy is actually about! Yay! Last time, Manshoon sent a bunch more assassins after Elminster, Elminster and Sharantyr finally made it out of High Dale and to the ruined fortress of Spellgard, and in the depths of said fortress something woke up in response to our heroes’ presence. Today, it’s time for everyone’ paths to cross as we hurtle towards our actual climax! Joining us once again will be Errezha and Calassara!
Chapter Twenty-Two: Magemoot at Spellgard
Errezha: What is a “magemoot?” Is it a kind of formal meeting? Because I’ll have you know, I sat through far too many of those as an adolescent (because Mother made me take notes for her…) to look forward to this with any excitement. We open with the sudden appearance of a young man brandishing a wand in what was an empty stone hall. Silence hung heavy in Spellgard. Avaerl of Sembresh peered around in the weird, dim light of the glowing mosses and muttered a quick spell. Ah, so it’s one of Manshoon’s assassins then. And no doubt not long for this world, so I won’t bother getting attached. His spell causes him to become invisible, and then he performs another to levitate himself up to a nearby balcony. Apparently, he’s learned about
Elminster and his woman companion from an informant in High Castle – Xanther? Or someone else? – but he sees no sign of them here, so he sets off. Let the hunt begin. Yes, not long indeed, I think.
Calassara: Well, he might surprise us yet – probably not, but one can hope! We cut to Itharr, lying in bed as someone wakes him up and tells him they have a problem. Itharr… is not receptive (well, he is trying to sleep). The Zhentarim have sent an army? Well, defeat them, and tell me about it in the morning. …why do I find myself thinking that if the Zhentarim really had sent an army, that’s about how it would play out? Greenwood is just that predictable, I suppose… *sigh* Belkram corrects him that no, Elminster has disappeared, which they think is a rather worse problem, because of course they do. Itharr pulls himself out of bed, careful not to wake his bedmate – surprisingly courteous, for a Greenwood hero – and grabs his weapons and, at Belkram’s insistence, his clothes (why do I have a feeling that if Itharr was a woman, Greenwood would have had her stay naked for the entire scene?). Itharr wonders if Elminster has just gone to relieve himself, or look at the stars, or find a wench who’ll have him – charming images! – but Belkram insists Elminster’s safety is too important to risk. *sighs again, louder* Boys, boys, I commend your dedication to your duty, but I’m afraid your author’s biases are showing through. Again. Itharr mutters a prayer to Tymora and runs from the room after getting his clothes on; Belkram describes how Gedaern woke him up by running into his room and screaming, and he thought he’d be gentler with Itharr. Hmm; they’re both being unusually courteous this chapter. When will the other boot drop, I wonder? Itharr thanks him and wonders if they have a band of willing idiots to help with their hunt – ah, there it is! Belkram says they do, and the two of them make two more idiots to lead them. At least he’s self-deprecating? Itharr grumbles at him at that (I guess someone’s not quite so humble…) and the scene ends.
Errezha: We then cut to the other Zhentarim assassin, Zalarth Bloodbrow – what, did he get an embarrassing cut on his forehead once and no one ever let him live it down? – as he and his men make their way through the portal in High Castle. Or try to, at least, as one of them… has already fallen into the cesspit and is thrashing around in it… and then once everyone else is across, Zalarth casts a spell to freeze him in place and he stared at the wizard in wide-eyed, openmouthed, silent horror as he sank slowly into the thick brown ooze… the hair coiled momentarily amid bubbles… and then there was nothing… Prince help me, that is so disgusting, I think I’m going to be sick… When Zalarth’s other men wonder what happened, Zalarth dismissively attributes it to a seizure, and then he and the others head off through the portal. He conjures a shield around him, at least in part in case one of the others realized what really happened and tries to stab him in the back, and then Zalarth of the Zhentarim stepped forward in the darkness and went to war. And now, if you’ll excuse me. *she turns and flees the sporking chamber; from outside, the sounds of loud retching can be heard*
Calassara: *looking concerned* She’ll be all right… I think… And so, we cut to Belkram and Itharr as they remember finding Elminster at the cesspool a few chapters ago and wonder if that’s where he went now (what a shocking revelation!). Itharr thinks he must have been after something down there and decides it must be a portal and not treasure (how he knows this… is not explained). The two of them run down through the castle, a mob of dalemen “thundering” after them (I certainly hope nobody is actually trying to sleep in this castle…). One of them complains that the only people crazier than Harpers are wizards (what about Harpers who are wizards, hmmm?) and another says that it’s good they’re that crazy, or we’d still be kissing Longspear’s feet… and another part of that Stormcloak’s body, too. *arching an eyebrow* And what part would that be, pray tell? The first daleman says he’d wondered what his companion was up to on nights he disappeared – are, are you implying what I think you’re implying? Because if you are, it doesn’t seem to be something to joke about, in the circumstances! The second daleman makes an obscene suggestion Greenwood doesn’t share, Gedaern tells them both to be quiet, and the scene ends. We then cut to Xanther, hiding and listening as Zalarth – or possibly Avaerl, he only knows them as one of Manshoon’s killers – steps out of hiding, pulls out a scroll, and uses it to cast a spell to illuminate the cesspit. He prepares to step through the portal when he’s suddenly interrupted by the arrival of the Dalefolk. Realizing he has to hurry, he steps through quickly – risking mis-stepping and falling in the pit – and vanishes, and the scene ends.
Errezha: *coming back in, looking queasy but determined* Have I mentioned that I simply cannot abide filth? Now, where are we? We find ourselves – back at the cesspit, how have I offended you, oh prince of law? Belkram and Itharr have arrived just in time to see Xanther’s light vanish. They start exploring the chamber, trying to find the portal; Itharr determines, correctly (again, how?) that if they don’t enter it exactly the right way, they’ll never find it. Belkram protests that it could take days – several no doubt very filthy and foul-smelling days – to do that, and then another voice interrupts, offering to help. And it’s one of the council members! Jatham the weaver, who is also, as Gedaern points out, Jatham the Thayan; apparently Elminster told Gedaern that, but Jatham wants to make a deal. Gedaern will let him leave the Dale peacefully and with all his possessions, and in return he’ll give them all the intelligence he’s gathered on the other councilors and tell Belkram and Itharr how to work the portal. Why, isn’t that just convenient – too convenient, I’m almost tempted to say! Gedearn is skeptical after all you’ve done (which is… what? Jatham has barely been in this book!) and Jatham says that for most of the past year (year? Were the Zhentarim in High Dale for a year now? And Elminster still didn’t notice? By the Prince!) he’s mainly been working to undermine the Zhentarim, and his efforts probably saved the lives of some of the people in this room (well, if my understanding of the political situation is correct, Thay and Zhentil Keep are rivals, so I suppose that checks out). Gedaern wonders how Jatham could be so effective against wizards, and so he promptly levitates his lantern, proving that he’s a wizard himself – not a very powerful one, by his own admission, but enough of one he could be a problem if Gedaern doesn’t take his deal. And, beg pardon, but why are we having this conversation with Gedaern? Why isn’t Mulmar in this scene? He’s supposed to be in charge!
Calassara: *patting Errezha on the shoulder* Now, now. We’re almost through, and I suspect expecting Greenwood to actually be consistent at this stage is a bit much to ask. Everyone has a standoff for a bit, and then Gedaern wonders what’s stopping Jatham from using magic on them as soon as their backs are turned – and then someone announces she will! It’s Ulraea, the Daleswoman who was watching out for Daera during the battle! And she’s… Jatham’s lover, apparently? I know him as no other in this dale, and I tell you he has not worked against us of the dale while Longspear lorded it over us, and will not do so this night. This is… quite a lot to throw at me at once, Greenwood! Why are we only learning this now? And I still wonder why the dalesfolk weren’t the actual focus of this story, instead of Elminster the Insufferable and his merry band? Gedaern is stunned to realize that Ulla really loves Jatham and means to go with him, and Ulraea says she will – and for now, she even promises to be Gedaern’s hostage, for him to kill if Jatham tries to work magic against High Dale before he leaves. Jatham is horrified, but Gedaern is convinced – he tells Ulraea that won’t be necessary (is that a Greenwood hero actually doing something decent? I’m in shock!), tells Jatham they have a deal, sheathes his sword and they shake on it. Jatham explains a lot we heard in the last few chapters, about how the gate works and that it leads to Spellgard, near Anauroch. Because the path is dangerous, he recommends the dalefolk not go, but the Harpers are determined. Belkram thanks both Gedaern and Jatham. May the High Dale know peace for a good long time now. We must leave you in haste, for we’re charged to follow Elminster and keep him safe. And so, we’re leaving the place where most of this story has happened behind, to have a climax at a place we only just were introduced to last chapter? *she sighs* Oh, Greenwood… The Harpers explain that they’ve been told that Elminster must live or, I fear, even gods will fall. I’m quite certain that’s going to happen anyway… it’s the Time of Troubles, after all! Everyone else is appropriately stunned, though, and the Harpers salute them and set off. They’re tired, but they strode ahead without pause, for they were Harpers. Hmmm. “But she strode ahead without pause, for she was a Pathfinder.” No, saying that about myself still sounds ridiculous and pompous.
Errezha: And so, we get a description of Spellgard. Spellgard was tall, dark and gloomy. Mushrooms and luminescent mosses grew here and there about its empty stone chambers. There was no sign of life. Even the torn, dusty cobwebs seemed to have been spun long ago by spiders now vanished. Yet there was a curious presence about the place, a silent, waiting feel as if something unseen were watching. …at least it isn’t the cesspit. Elminster and Sharantyr continue making their way through rooms empty save for the remnants of old furniture, and the old scars of a battle long ago. Elminster takes the lead as they keep going forward, and the scene ends. We then cut to Zalarth and his Zhentarim as they make their own way through the ruins, and we’re told they’re experienced and trained enough to not be bothered by them. They pass through several stone chambers and then suddenly stop as they find a figure facing them. Is this who awoke at the end of the previous chapter, perhaps? It was tall and very thin, clad in dark and dusty robes. Its face was skull-like and white, its eyes dark sockets. A lich! Or perhaps just an illusion… *rolling her eyes* No, I do believe that’s an actual lich. Zalarth wonders if this is some sort of trap set by Elminster or Avaerl and motions his men forward, while the lich drops something to the floor. As they approach, light flickers in the lich’s sockets, and apparently the body is intact enough for Zalarth to guess she is, or was in her mortal life, a woman. And then she speaks. Well met and welcome, adventurers. Put aside your weapons and speak with me in peace, if you would. I mean no harm. I’ve waited so very long for someone to find me. That… is ominous to the point of being terrifying. I would flee, but it may already be too late…
Calassara: I would have to agree. Ancient and powerful undead offering polite words to visiting mortals, in my experience, rarely ends well for mortals – especially when said undead have been waiting for them! Zalarth, though, asks who, and what, she is, and the lich introduces herself as Saharel. *beat* Elminster’s old friend is a lich? Why am I not surprised… The years have been no kinder to me than to Netheril itself, but I still abide here. I was under the impression that Netheril perished in an instant, destroyed by the hubris of its greatest archwizard, so strange as it may seem, Saharel might have actually gotten lucky with her slow slide into oblivion instead… She asks who Zalarth is and steps forward, and we get a lovely description of her hair, once beautiful and now filled with mold… as Zalarth begins a spell to command the undead. *facepalms* Zalarth, Zalarthy. I barely know you, but you don’t seem to be a particularly powerful wizard. And to even become a lich in the first place, you have to be powerful – and most liches, with centuries or millennia to perfect their arts, then grow far stronger still! Haven’t you considered you might be punching slightly out of your weight class? And indeed, Saharel decries his lack of manners and asks if he’s only here for plunder; one of the Zhentarim throws his knife at her, but predictably it only lodges harmlessly in her arm. So you would bring death to me, where the gods failed? Die, fools, and despoil my home no longer! …what an entirely predictable turn of events! She blasts the Zhentarim with bolts of magic; Zalarth finishes his spell, but it has no effect. What are you, that you defy my Art? *slowly and carefully, as though speaking to a small child* She’s a lich. And almost certainly far, far more powerful than you! Haven’t we been over this? Saharel corrects him that she’s an archlich – Savored Sting, that sounds even worse! – and demands an apology. Zalarth honestly admits he’s sorry he ever met her, and then finally shows some wisdom as he turns and bolts.
MG: We’ll talk more about what an “archlich” is next time, but for now, just know that it’s a specific kind of creature, not just a term for “unusually powerful lich.”
Errezha: Lovely. And so Zalarth flees through Spellgard’s corridors, until at last he runs out on a balcony – and looks down into the room below, where Elminster and Sharantyr, with a drawn wand and sword respectively, are squaring off against Avaerl. *flatly* And so we’re all here. How fortunate. We really are at the point in the story where Greenwood is just throwing plot points at us, aren’t we? Avaerl raises a wand of his own. Die by the order of Manshoon, Lord Most High of the Zhentarim! Die at the hand of Avaerl of Sembresh! Sharantyr complains that it sounds like he’s trying to talk them to death – oh, please, I’ve known people far more pompously long-winded – and throws a knife, knocking the wand from his hand, before charging. Suddenly a bolt of lightning from another balcony blasts her, along with a voice taunting that she’s not so scary now. It’s Xanther! Everyone really is all here, aren’t they? And so it is by the hand of Xanther that the famous Elminster shall perish! *rubs her forehead* Long-winded or not, have none of these people learned to blast first, then gloat? And why shoot Sharantyr when Elminster himself is right there? Elminster himself just sighs, noting that he’s heard such boasts before – Manshoon himself has said it twice – and he’s still here. And, only twice? I’d have expected more than that, honestly… Xanther does shoot him now, and Elminster just teleports away and reappears behind him on the balcony. Quite a feat, for a man with no magic! He then casually shoves Xanther over the edge and sends him falling to the floor below. The sharp sounds of Xanther’s bones shattering echoed loudly in the hall. His body bounced limply and then hung motionless atop the table. Rivers of dark blood ran swiftly down the stone. *queasy* And that’s it for Xanther, I suppose… really, he lasted longer than I expected…
Calassara: Elminster looks away from him and calls out to ask Sharantyr if she’s alive; Avaerl shoots magic missiles at him, and Elminster just sits down – literally, he sits down – and lets them hit him, to no apparent effect. *sigh* Greenwood’s not even trying anymore, is he? Zalarthy then takes an opportunity to blast the balcony with a fireball and is pleased to see Elminster vanish in flames; he decides he has to get over there quickly to grab some trophy as proof of his death, and then flee to report back to Manshoon before Saharel arrives. He teleports over to the balcony, and finds it hot and smoky but, of course, there’s no sign of Elminster’s body. Are you really surprised? He suddenly hears a thud and looks down to see Elminster standing over the crumpled form of Avaerl with a bloody stone in his hand. That’s for what ye did to the lass. *sigh* Greenwood is killing off the villains off-page now. This is what we’ve descended to. Elminster hurries over to Sharantyr, does something – how informative! – and runs off again. Zalarth teleports to another balcony, draws a wand, and spots Elminster smoking his pipe on yet another balcony (how many of these does this room have, exactly?). Zalarth teleports himself behind Elminster and blasts him, only for Elminster to teleport away at the last second, and Zalarth’s wand spat death at empty air. Riveting. He suddenly sees Saharel approaching down a hallway, and teleports himself to the floor of the hall, only to spot Avaerl getting to his feet like an awakened zombie. Ah, not dead after all! Unless he literally is a zombie now… is that better or worse? Avaerl recognizes Zalarth and demands to know why he’s here, so Zalarth just shoots him with the wand, because apparently teamwork is something that the Zhentarim aren’t familiar with. Avaerl collapses again, and as he dies for real, he gasps out Gulkuth! But nothing happens, and Zalarth is left with no idea what it means.
MG: And that is the last time the name “Gulkuth” is spoken in this book. So, that bit last chapter about Avaerl finding that this was the true name of a powerful Zhentarim mage, possibly Manshoon himself? And that he might use it to gain power over said mage? Completely pointless! Fun!
Errezha: *facepalms* Gah, but we’re almost through… Zalarth is suddenly distracted by Sharantyr as she climbs back to her feet, the healing ring on her hand. Zalarth levels a wand at her. It is always a pleasure to destroy a Knight of Myth Drannor. Die, bitch! No, really, she’s one of the more tolerable ones. Kill Torm instead, if you please. *beat* And exactly how many of the Knights have you killed before this? How many of them are there? And that’s when a voice greets him from behind, another voice says the pleasure’s all theirs, and then farewell, tyrant mage. *spluttering* Tyrant? This man is a lackey, at best! The standards for tyranny in Faerun must be unbelievably low… And then two swords run Zalarth through, and he collapses in agony and sank forever into the nothingness beyond them.
MG: Well, the joke’s on him, since the afterlife is very much a thing in Faerun… and for that matter, since the Time of Troubles has started, none of the gods are currently in a position to claim their followers’ souls, and the dead are just sort of… piling up outside the gates of Myrkul’s city in the Fugue Plane, waiting for judgment. And it’ll be like that for a while. So, Zalarth isn’t going to be getting oblivion… but he is going to be getting several months of utter tedium before things get resolved, so yay for him? Though after that… he’s a Zhent, so he’s probably a Banite, and Bane won’t be around to claim him after the Time of Troubles. So, he’ll probably either end up serving Cyric (not fun!) or getting his soul mortared into the Wall of the Faithless for eternity (less fun!). Tedium’s not sounding so bad, actually…
Calassara: …I think I’ll stay on Golarion and take my chances with Pharasma, thank you. We cut to Belkram – of course that’s who it is – as he suggests cutting off Zalarth’s fingers, since they don’t know what his rings do and don’t want to have to keep killing him over and over again. Hey, now, it works for Elminster and Manshoon! That makes up the majority of their relationship, doesn’t it? Speaking of Elminster, they wonder where he is and then spot him smoking across the room, where he waves lazily at them. And that’s when Saharel pops up behind him. A bone-white face had appeared, a gleam in its dark eye sockets and a widening grin stretching its ghastly jaw. Long, skeletal arms reached for the Old Mage… the three rangers realize there’s nothing they can do; Sharantyr calls out a prayer to Mystra, and the chapter ends. And since Elminster and Saharel are supposedly old friends… I’m going to assume that this cliffhanger isn’t actually one and is going to be resolved very anticlimactically next time.
MG: How’d you guess? Well, in a word, this chapter is rushed. Everybody’s at Spellgard now, but because we’ve wasted so much time in High Dale we really have to hurry to get all our pieces in place for the actual climax. And so, we have everyone running around Spellgard, lots of fighting, lots of Zhents dying, revelations about Jatham, and it all feels like it’s rushing by far too quickly to actually care about any of it. And Elminster’s just randomly pulling out new powers now, because he still can’t cast spells and I don’t think we knew one of the artifacts he had on him would let him teleport… but apparently it does! And I guess “magemoot” is just a fancy term for “lots of mages show up and fight and some of them die,” which describes a good chunk of what Greenwood has ever written. But we officially met Saharel the Archlich, and she’s actually one of the few things in this book that ties it to the overall storyline of the trilogy involving the Malaugrym… so it’s really, really weird that Greenwood waits until the very end of the book to introduce her. Anyway, we’re all done for today. Next time, Saharel’s secrets revealed, Manshoon decides to take matters into his own hands, and a bunch of characters who haven’t shown up in this book get to make cameos! We’ll see you then!
