Rebel Moon Part I: A Child of Fire

[masterghandalf]

Warning: This review contains discussion of topics including violence, imperialism, sexual content, sexual violence, and homophobia.



Space opera can be a difficult genre to handle in live-action media. Done well, depictions of futuristic technology, sweeping alien vistas, and epic conflicts can be truly magnificent – done poorly, it can turn cheesy or ridiculous very quickly (though that, of course, can also have its own appeal). Of course, the number of space opera films and tv shows that have existed over the years prove that people are absolutely willing to keep trying their hands at it… but when it comes to the big screen specifically, studios often seem reluctant to take the risk, no doubt due in part to the perceived cost of doing such productions well coupled with the inherent risk of an unknown property. Thus, most space opera in film tends to be either a continuation of an established franchise (Star Wars, Star Trek) or adaptation from a different medium (Guardians of the Galaxy, Dune); original films in the genre are fairly rare, and often seem to be the result of a determined director managing to get a passion project through. The actual success rate of such projects once made is… variable. A few years back, you may recall, I reviewed one such movie, the Wachowskis’ Jupiter Ascending. I found that one to be a movie whose ambition was genuinely impressive, but whose execution was… mixed at best; it ended up bombing at the box office, and potential sequels never materialized, but it’s still a fascinating case of what-might-have-been.

That brings us to today’s review, and it’s time to discuss Zack Snyder and Rebel Moon. And there’s some backstory here, so before we get to the movie itself, it’s best to get it out of the way. Speaking of directorial passion projects, Rebel Moon is clearly one for Snyder and has apparently been in the works for a very long time. Based on interviews, he originally conceived it as an original, standalone story, then in the 2010s pitched it to Lucasfilm as a Star Wars project, was rejected, went back to the idea of it being an original story, and was eventually picked up by Netflix. And they had big plans, as what was initially pitched as a single film ballooned into a two-part epic, with plans for further films to continue the saga from there. And beyond that, it was clear that both Snyder and Netflix saw Rebel Moon as a springboard for an ongoing franchise. Even before the first part was released, they already had plans for novelizations of both movies, comic book prequels, video game and TTRPG adaptations, an animated series in the same universe, a freaking narrative podcast of all things… the hope was clear that this was going to blow up and be something big. The cast, for their part, also seem to have been pretty invested in it and put a fair bit of heart into their roles. As Netflix hyped the nascent franchise up in preparation for its release, it certainly garnered some interest (especially from Snyder’s rather… passionate personal fandom) though also significant skepticism (largely, again, because of Snyder’s divisive reputation). Personally, I was cautiously optimistic – I don’t much care for Snyder’s filmography in general, but I figured its status as an original story could at least avoid his… controversial takes on established characters (and that’s all we’re going to say on that) and I am firmly of the opinion that the world can always use more original space sagas.

Alas, when Rebel Moon Part I: A Child of Fire was released on Netflix (along with a limited theatrical run) in December of 2023, its reception was tepid at best; while there were some positive responses, the general feel was that whatever virtues the film had were buried in an avalanche of… Snyder-isms. To say I personally was disappointed and underwhelmed is an understatement. The second part, The Scargiver, releasing in April of 2024, was if anything even more poorly received. The extended editions, coming in August of the same year, landed without making much of a splash, and though some of the scheduled expanded universe materials remain forthcoming, Snyder himself has since moved on to other projects. Rebel Moon as a franchise may or may not be dead – it’s too early to tell that for sure – but it certainly seems to be in limbo, its grand ambitions sputtering out (Snyder is reportedly writing the script for a third movie, but with no word it’s actually been picked up). So… what went wrong? Well, let’s take a look at that, shall we?



First off, let’s talk about the elephant in the room – Rebel Moon’s connection to Star Wars, which I think ought to be gotten out of the way before we really dig into things. It’s sometimes been described as a Star Wars project that’s been dolled up as an original setting, which doesn’t seem to quite be true – while Snyder pitched it as a Star Wars project at one point, he did apparently conceive it first as an original story, and that’s what he returned to in the end. But, uh… the Star Wars comparisons are definitely there. For one thing, they share some base inspirations – George Lucas was famously influenced by the filmography of Kurosawa, and as it happens, so was Snyder, with both The Hidden Fortress (famously a major influence on A New Hope) and especially Seven Samurai (itself homaged multiple times in various Star Wars media) being cited as inspirations for Rebel Moon. And quite aside from the basic premise of “a plucky band of rebels fighting an evil space empire a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away,” it’s pretty clear that Rebel Moon homages, riffs on or outright copies a number of themes, plot points, worldbuilding elements, characters and so on from the older, more famous franchise. Which isn’t a problem in itself (Star Wars itself, of course, is hardly original, taking a grab bag of influences from Flash Gordon, Lensman, Asimov’s Foundation, Dune, Kirby’s New Gods, various real-world historical, mythological and religious elements, and aforementioned Kurosawa films and happily blending them together)… but it does rather sharply throw into relief that Star Wars did a lot of this stuff earlier, and crucially, better. And of course, Rebel Moon suffers from a lot of the issues Snyder’s filmography in general tends to be criticized for – excessive edginess, pretentious self-seriousness, gratuitous use of slow motion, overwrought and overlong action scenes, and a washed-out color palette, all of which make it come off rather poorer in comparison. It also has some rather baffling plot and worldbuilding choices, but we’ll get there. Of course, it also wasn’t helped by the fact that its parts came out sandwiched around the second half of Denis Villeneuve’s Dune… which, needless to say, has a much better pedigree when claiming to be “Star Wars for adults.”

Now, a word on the structure of this review. As noted, Rebel Moon was originally released as two movies – Part I: A Child of Fire and Part II: The Scargiver. Seems simple enough, right? Not quite. See, in a possible attempt to recreate the hype of the Snyder Cut of Justice League, the duology was released twice. The first version was meant to be the relatively tame, “family-friendly” version, rated PG-13. The extended editions are supposed to represent Snyder’s “true vision,” and are rated R; they add about an hour to each movie’s runtime, and supposedly fill in a lot of the characterization, plot and worldbuilding gaps from the original release… while also cranking a lot of the Snyder-isms up to eleven. This is a gamble that, frankly, doesn’t seem to have gone over well – the circumstances around Justice League (with Snyder leaving the project midway through filming and Joss Whedon finishing it, and then Whedon’s cut being poorly received, leading people to become fascinated with the idea of Snyder’s original vision) were pretty unique and certainly not in place here, so instead of hyping up the extended cut, it just left the impression that Netflix had initially released a crappier version of the movies for no real reason other than to be a publicity stunt. Also, for some reason, the extended cuts were renamed, becoming Chalice of Blood and Curse of Forgiveness, respectively (which led, from what I saw, to at least some sense that Netflix was trying to cheat people into thinking these were wholly new movies, rather than new editions of existing ones). I debated whether to watch the extended cuts before doing this review; I decided against it, feeling that the original cuts were the only versions that existed for months, and should therefore be reviewed on their own merits to see how well they stand on their own; my current plan is to do one post for each of the original cuts, then a third post discussing the extended cuts and what they added or changed. I might also talk about some of the expanded universe material (novelizations, comics, etc.) at some point.

Also, before we get started, I just want to say that I know Snyder is divisive, both personally and as a filmmaker, and that discussions of him can get heated on all sides; I’d like to remind everyone to be civil in the comments, as this is not the place to debate the man’s character, his fandom, the quality of his filmography overall, etc. – I want to stay focused on these movies, specifically. Thank you!

All pics are from cap-that.com. I’ll be including the following counts for these reviews:

Exposition Intrusion: Borrowed from my Newcomb sporkings; for when characters just start monologuing about their backstories or the like.
Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: For when we have something from Star Wars (and occasionally other franchises), but edgy.
Plot-Induced Stupidity: Characters sometimes make frankly baffling choices to grease the wheels of the story.
Slow Mo, Oh No!: For gratuitous slow motion.
We Love Wheat!: You’ll see why.
When You’re Evil: The Motherworld, the main villain faction, seem to operate on an ethos based entirely on puppy-kicking on an industrial scale.

And, because I don’t want to do this alone, it’s time to meet the co-sporker who’ll be joining us on this journey; you may remember her from some of my past sporkings, but say hello to everyone’s favorite barefoot Jedi, Tahiri Veila from Star Wars Legends! As usual, reminding everyone that sporker!Tahiri is based primarily on her self from the New Jedi Order novels and a bit from my own fics, and is blissfully unaware of the fate that awaits her in the Legacy of the Force novels and onward.



Tahiri: *waves* Hey, everyone! Good to be back. And I can’t say I mind taking a break from Newcomb, either. So, I guess this is that thing that MG indicated they wanted me to watch with them (it’s… like a holodrama? But flat? Your planet is weird…). And I have to say I’m looking forward to it! I mean, how bad can it be? Right? *beat* Right? *notices MG’s expression* Oh, khapet…

MG: And so, we open with various studio logos, including Netflix’s, flashing by, as a swell of Very Dramatic music plays in the background. The soundtrack (by Tom Holkenberg) is… fine, for the most part. Some of the tracks are actually quite good (though when it comes to space opera movies I’ve reviewed… I still like Jupiter Ascending’s better). But some of it is very, very melodramatic, with bombastic instrumentals and ominous vocals, and it slams right into you as the movie opens, because we have to establish from the get-go that this is a Very Serious Film.

Tahiri: Great. So, as the music plays someone starts narrating for us, describing how On the Motherworld, one thousand kings ruled in succession – I should hope so! It’d really be awkward if they ruled out of order, ahem – but in the royal bloodline’s lust for power, they consumed everything upon their planet. So, sounds like these are our bad guys, then – and I’m already getting shades of the Yuuzhan Vong conquering and consuming first their planet, then their home galaxy, fun. The Realm marched its armies into the vastness of space, conquering everything in its path. The glory of the Motherworld seemed without end until the treachery of an assassin’s blade struck down the king and queen, severing the royal bloodline forever. In the chaotic aftermath of the king’s death, several conquered planets on the edge of the Motherworld’s reach began to whisper of revolution. A senator named Balisarius used the opportunity to seize power – now I’m reminded of Palpatine, this just keeps getting better and better – declaring himself Regent. As a show of strength, he sent his most brutal commander to the outer reaches of the Motherworld’s dominion, to find and crush without mercy those who would call themselves “rebel.” And then the title Rebel Moon flashes across the screen, and I guess that’s our premise, then!

When You’re Evil: 3 (we waste no time establishing what the Motherworld’s about)

Now, as all this narrating is going on, we see a portal opening very slowly in space (some kind of hyperspace gate, I guess? I could say what it looks like… but I’m a Jedi and that’s beneath me, so I’ll just snigger quietly over here) and what looks like a big warship comes out and flies past the screen. It’s pretty impressive looking, but… is that it? This “Regent” sent out this mission with one ship to pacify a whole region of space? Even if it’s the equivalent of a Star Destroyer, that’s hardly enough to conquer a single system. I mean, this is supposed to be this galaxy’s superpower, right… but in my galaxy, even fourth-rate powers like the Ssi-ruuk or the Yevetha can field more than one ship for a mission like this. Even the Death Star was meant to operate with the support of a fleet! Has… has Snyder put any thought into the logistics of this?

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 1



MG: Depending on who you ask, either not enough... or far, far too much. But we’ll get to that in a minute; for now, it’s enough to know the warship’s name is The King’s Gaze and move on (and yes, it definitely feels reflective of the original Star Wars trilogy opening each movie with a Star Destroyer). Anyway, for one more note here, our narrator is none other than the great Anthony Hopkins himself. And, considering Hopkins is the sort of elder statesman actor who can turn in a memorable performance even when obviously phoning it in, it should be obvious that he does a pretty good job with it (some interesting choices for emphasis aside). Now, Hopkins also provides the voice for a character later in the movie, but we’ll get to that when he shows up… I’m not sure if Hopkins’ character is supposed to be the narrator nor not, but it would make a certain amount of sense if he was.



Tahiri: Guess I have something to look forward to, then? Well, as the title card fades, the music turns softer and a bit more thoughtful, as we very slowly pan down past an orange gas giant and its moons and down onto the surface of what appears to be another moon (but is it a rebel moon?) where we see someone working the field, plowing it with the aid of some sort of creature. And, not going to lie… I do like the image of the fields with the giant planet in the background. It’s very pretty and gives you a really good feel for what this place looks like. Nice.



MG: Yeah, Rebel Moon unfortunately doesn’t have as much in the way of cool imagery as I might expect or like from a genre like space opera and a visually oriented director like Snyder (I’ll talk a bit more about why I think that is later on) but it does manage a few really striking visuals, and this is one. The person ploughing the field, by the way, is our protagonist, Kora (Sofia Boutella), sadly not to be confused with Avatar Korra.

Tahiri: *shrugs* No idea who that is, either. Anyway, as Kora crosses the field, the title card for A Child of Fire pops up on screen, followed by Part One appearing below it a moment later. Which makes it sound like this is part one of A Child of Fire, not that A Child of Fire is itself the part one of a larger story, but whatever. We get our first good look at Kora up close as her plough hits something in the field with a loud clang, and this turns out to be a rock, which we get a rather lengthy bit of her digging it out (with her bare hands) and getting it out of the way. Then she starts running her hands through the soil lovingly and picking up some of it and breathing in the smell of it, while some guy comes up from a nearby village and, based on the way he spends a long time staring longingly at our heroine while she’s all sweaty and soft, ethereal music is playing, I’m guessing this is the love interest.



MG: You’d be right; this is Gunnar (Michiel Huismann) and he is indeed Kora’s love interest.

Tahiri: Knew it! He’s not my type, but to each their own *shrugs*. Finally, he comes running over and calls her by name, telling her he thought she was finished, since everyone else has already gathered at “the longhouse.” She says she’s almost done, and then Gunnar starts rambling about how someone named Den was asking for Kora, since he and his brother hunted a snow elk, and Den wants her to see the carcass before they butcher it. Kora wonders why Den wanted her to see it – girl, it’s not that hard, sounds like Gunnar’s not the only one who’s sweet on you – after Gunnar tries to stammer out an explanation and he and Kora banter a bit, she goes back to her ploughing.

We then pan over the village – which is right next to a mountain with a really big waterfall, though where that water is coming from I couldn’t tell you – and then inside what I guess is the longhouse, where a big haunch of meat (the elusive snow elk? Or something else?) is roasting over a spit as jaunty music plays. We see Kora, now wearing a dress, eating at a table, talking to an older man –

MG: That’s Hagen (Ingvar Sigurdsson), by the way.

Tahiri: - about how good the meat is, and how apparently Den’s hunters saw the herds returning. Hagen also tells Kora Den was asking for her, and it sounds like he’s trying to set them up. Kora just mumbles something about it being “impressive,” and Hagen wonders if she means the elk or Den, who we conveniently pan over to see standing against one of the walls.

MG: Den is played by Stuart Martin.

Tahiri: Kora watches Den for a bit and then they get distracted when somebody…

MG: Sindri, the village leader (Corey Stoll, who I wouldn’t have recognized if I hadn’t known).

Tahiri: …blows a really loud and obnoxious horn to get everyone’s attention. Sindri then starts talking about how the “gods of the harvest” demand a “tribute,” and maybe it’s just the Yuuzhan Vong part of me thinking it, but this is about where I’d be looking for an exit before someone tried to sacrifice me. Ahem. Anyway, turns out the “harvest gods” are looking for a rather different kind of “sacrifice,” which Sindri describes in a really cringy speech where he goes on and on about the “thrusting of hips” summoning the “seedlings to sprout,” and generally making it really, really clear he’s talking about sex without actually coming out and saying it, because I guess this is supposed to be the “family friendly” version and you can’t do that? But I guess just obviously alluding to the ritual orgy is perfectly fine? …and then he drops subtlety entirely, so maybe not, as he tells everyone to “make love for the harvest” while everyone laughs uproariously. And just to make it abundantly clear, he immediately grabs his wife(?) and pulls her onto his lap, where they start making out in front of everybody. I’m… happy for them?

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 1 (See, it’s totally mature, they’ve got sex rituals!)

We Love Wheat: 1



MG: And I’ve got to say… this village, which strangely never gets a name (the moon it’s on is Veldt, though) is going to be our main setting for the duology, and our main conflict is going to be fighting to defend it. Clearly, Snyder wants to establish right away that this is a good place we should care about and want to see protected. But, maybe it’s just that Mists of Avalon left a lingering bad taste in my mouth when it comes to sex rites, and maybe it’s because I’m ace, but… I can’t help but wonder how mandatory “making love for the harvest” is, and how to people who don’t want to participate get treated?

Tahiri: *shrugs* Beats me; I’ve got no experience here. Sand People don’t do sex rites, Jedi don’t do sex rites, and Yuuzhan Vong… don’t make me laugh. Anyway, we’re clearly supposed to see this as a fun party where everyone is enthusiastically participating. As Sindri carries his wife out of the room, we get some more music, lots of people drinking, happily pairing up, Gunnar making longing eyes at Kora, so on and so forth. Kora instead starts making flirty eyes with Den – awkward – and then we cut to some time later in Hagen’s house, where he’s reading as the door opens and Kora comes in. So, I guess they live together, but they’re clearly not a couple and he’s a lot older than her – I don’t think he’s her father, and she’s an adult, so he’s probably not her guardian, but… father figure? Mentor, maybe? *shrugs* Kora starts getting ready for bed, while Hagen goes off on how amazing Den is (oh, he’s definitely trying to set them up!). Finally, he just bluntly asks her if she wants a “permanent” relationship with Den, which is something Den has apparently asked Hagen if Kora is interested in. Kora’s wary of committing, but Hagen tells her it would be her last step towards becoming a full member of the village. So, I guess that’s confirmation she’s definitely not from around here, then. Though I’ve got to wonder why marriage is apparently the way to become a member of this village… it’s got to be rough on people who want to stay single. Or who are already attached…

Exposition Intrusion: 2 (some clunky exposition on Kora’s background and local customs)

Well, Kora may not want to commit to marrying Den, but she does admit she’s been happy living here for the past “two seasons,” which could mean… a lot of different things, depending on how they measure time; what does a season on Veldt entail, anyway? She goes on to say she doesn’t deserve happiness – oof, that hits close to home, not going to lie – and how she’s a child of war and that the ability to truly love was beaten out of her and she doesn’t know how to change it, while Hagen just sits there through all of this, looking about as awkward as I’d feel if someone dropped this monologue on me.

Exposition Intrusion: 3

MG: Yeah, this is going to be a kind of recurring thing with Kora, honestly. Boutella’s performance is… mostly decent, and very earnest, but the script has a tendency to just have her periodically launch into angsty monologues about her tragic past while everyone else is just sort of very uncomfortable about the whole thing, and it’s a little… overwrought. Which is a consistent problem for Snyder, tbh.

Tahiri: Figures. Finally, Kora seems to realize how awkward the moment is, as she tells Hagen to get some rest and pulls the ratty curtain separating his side of the room from hers closed, and the scene ends. We cut to the field the next morning as Kora is out planting with another young woman…



MG: That would be Sam (Charlotte Maggi).

Tahiri: … who is asking all about how it went with her and Den last night and if they “did their part for the harvest,” and I swear, those harvest gods had better be real and had better really appreciate this offering, and Den had better be the most important man in the universe, from how long we’ve spent talking about them so far. Meanwhile we have some dramatic slow-motion shots of them dropping seeds and the seeds bouncing along the ground like this is an epic action scene and not, you know… seeds. Uh, why? Kora and Sam tease each other a bit, and then we hear the sounds of some ominous engines from above. It’s that warship from the opening, hovering menacingly in low orbit right above the village – aha, this means we can finally stop talking about the sex lives of strangers and get into the actual plot! *beat* Ahem, I mean, oh no, this is very bad.

Slow-Mo, Oh No: 1

We Love Wheat: 2



We get another dramatic slow-motion shot, this time of Kora dropping all her seeds in shock, and then she bolts off, running through the village – we briefly pause to see Gunnar watching her in surprise – until she reaches a big metal bell and starts hitting it with a big heavy hammer. It gets everyone’s attention, and only then do they look up and spot the giant warship hanging over their heads. Oops. Guess everyone’s still exhausted and/or hungover after last night’s orgy, huh? More of the very dramatic music from the prologue plays as Sindri looks up at the King’s Gaze and wonders what they want; Kora says they want everything. Which does go hand in hand with being an evil empire, I’ve got to say.

Slow-Mo, Oh No: 2

When You’re Evil: 4

We then cut to the inside of the longhouse, where everyone is meeting to talk about the problem. Sindri thinks it can’t be good (thank you for brilliantly stating the obvious…); Gunnar, though, thinks the Motherworld is rich, and they might be able to get a better price selling to them than to “Providence,” wherever that is. Sindri then reveals that Gunnar’s already been selling surplus grain to rebels against the Motherworld, which is awkward, but Gunnar says they offered a good price, and he doesn’t care about causes. He insists his only loyalty is to their village, and he thinks they can show the Motherworld goodwill and ally with them, and by the gods, this man is naïve. Kora then steps up to say that the Motherworld’s only interest is conquest, and that “partnership” isn’t in their vocabulary (that’s got to make negotiations difficult). She advises Sindri to give the Motherworld what they ask for, and nothing more, and to not let them know they have anything else to offer, and hope they leave before they ask any more questions. Sindri agrees to follow her advice, and then a young boy comes running in, screaming that they’re coming.

Exposition Intrusion: 4

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 2

We Love Wheat: 4

When You’re Evil: 5

MG: Just wanting to add that the further we get into this duology, the more apparent it’s going to become that the Motherworld backstabs literally everyone they ever work with, usually as quickly as possible, and their standard operating procedure seems to boil down to “be as evil as we can.” And sure, Veldt is remote, but not so remote that they don’t know who the Motherworld is and what they’re about, so I’m kind of surprised that anyone here thinks there’s any chance they’d operate in good faith.

Tahiri: We then get a rather length sequence of three gunships, which look a bit like smaller versions of the King’s Gaze, as they zoom over the fields and finally come to land with an ominous metallic thud in front of the village. Everyone’s turned out to greet them, and the Very Dramatic Music is playing again, just so we’re sure this isn’t a good thing, in case we didn’t already know. A moment later, their hatches open up and what look like a bunch of Imperial officers come marching out, in slow motion. Seriously, they’ve got the boots, the jackets, the caps… I guess totalitarianism looks pretty much the same no matter what galaxy you’re from, huh? There are even some guys in red robes in the back who look a bit like the Emperor’s old Royal Guards!



MG: Honestly, Tahiri, if anything it’s less subtle than that. Even more than the Galactic Empire, the Motherworld are Space Nazis. Snyder is extremely unsubtle about this. Quite aside from their never-ending campaigns of conquest and genocide, the design of their uniforms, from the look of their coats to their hats, just screams it, as does the fact that they’re a bunch of sleek, angular, mostly blond, mostly white human guys with undercuts (they’re also, to a lesser extent, Space Romans – if the existence of a Senate and the fact that their Regent’s name is just ever so slightly off from “Belisarius” wasn’t a giveaway – which is kind of awkward considering the very surface level fixation and appropriation real-world fascists tend to have when it comes to all things Roman – the ancient Romans could certainly be many flavors of horrible, but they weren’t Nazis! Nor do I particularly think ceding the classics as a space to fascists and implicitly playing into their narrative on this is a good idea, though I may be reading too much into this depiction because of that.). Anyway, these are our villains for the movie; the ironically named Admiral Atticus Noble (Ed Skrein) and his number two, Cassius (Alfonso Herrera).

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 2 (What if the Empire were even more obviously Space Nazis?)

Slow Mo, Oh No: 3

When You’re Evil: 7 (for the obvious and unsubtle Nazi imagery)



I’d also like to take a moment to say a word about the guys in red. They’re Motherworld priests, and I’m torn on their designs. On the one hand, they’re very distinctive and striking… but on the other, they’re perhaps a bit overdesigned, with lots of complications on their robes and masks – including spiky chains across their shoulders – that mostly seem to be there to make them look hardcore and edgy. They definitely feel like something more from Warhammer 40000 than anything (the Motherworld definitely seems to take some visuals clues from the Imperium of Man as well – and their sphere of influence is actually called “the Imperium” at various points, though I’m not sure if it’s a direct shout-out or not; Dune called its galactic empire “the Imperium” as well long before 40K, after all) but in that setting everything is edgy and overdesigned. Here they feel a bit out of place, especially since, spoilers, they have no plot relevance at all. Apparently, they get a bit more to do in the extended cuts, but in the original versions they just… follow Noble around silently, being creepy and vaguely ominous. And that’s it. And considering how much effort was clearly put into their look… well, it just feels like a waste.

Tahiri: …I guess a lot of that is references to stuff from your planet that I don’t get, so I’ll just nod politely and move on. Sindri and Noble introduce themselves to each other, with Noble describing himself as a representative of “the Slain King” and then “welcomes Sindri to the king’s embrace” …by literally hugging him.



MG: In perhaps the most awkward villainous hug committed to film since Voldemort, no less! (Yes, I know, very sorry for the Harry Potter reference, but… in this case, it was all I could think of while watching it!).

Tahiri: You know, I don’t think Grand Moff Tarkin went around hugging people he meant to conquer… or maybe that part just got left out of the history holos. Everyone else is standing around watching this and looking very uncomfortable too, by the way. Finally, Noble steps back and asks for a tour of the village, so Sindri offers to take him up to the longhouse and pour him some ale while they talk, which Noble seems to think is just grand. Noble and his men march into the village, with one young soldier stopping to make lingering eye-contact with Sam before one of his companions shoves him to keep him moving.

MG: I think there’s definitely some 40K influence in the Motherworld soldiers as well; about halfway between modern Earth soldiers and Imperial Stormtroopers in design, with some fancy styling on their armor, they definitely look like they could fit in the Imperial Guard.

Tahiri: And so, we cut to Noble and Sindri walking through the village (with Kora watching ominously from behind a building) as they chat idly about what life here is like and the responsibilities of leadership. Finally, Noble gets to the point. He’s here because Regent Balisarius sent him to look for some rebels hiding in this system, who are led by two siblings named Devra and Darrian Bloodaxe. *beat* Oh, wow. I mean, maybe it’s a bit hypocritical of me, since I know people named things like “Skywalker,” “Darklighter,” “Farlander” and so on, but still… I hope that’s some sort of epithet earned in battle and not, like, a family name! Because imagine trying to get a job as something other than a rebel leader with a name like that – imagine being like, a bartender, or a dentist or something! “Dr. Bloodaxe will see you now!” Ahem. Anyway, so far, the hunt has taken Noble longer than he expected, and his ship’s food stores are running low. So, he’d like to buy some grain from Veldt.

Exposition Intrusion: 7

We Love Wheat: 5 (it turns out, it’s what the villain’s motivation, at least at first, revolves around!)

MG: Okay, putting a pin in this for now because we’ll come back to it at the end of this scene, but on the one hand, this is clearly where the riff on Seven Samurai comes in, with the peaceful farming village being harassed by bad guys who want their crops and won’t take no for an answer. And I’ll admit, I do appreciate Snyder trying to at least put some thought into the logistics of all that space conquering. But the execution has, uh, issues, and I’d like to talk about that a bit later.

Tahiri: *shrugs* Fine by me. Well, Gunnar, listening in, is clearly floored by the price Noble is offering; Noble goes on to wax poetic about how much more farming equipment they’ll be able to buy for this money. Sindri insists that it’s part of their customs to not use that sort of thing and do all the work by hand, since that connects them to the land. And far be it from me to critique someone else’s cultural practices, but… maybe you could get the land to be more productive if you were willing to use technology newer than a few thousand years old? Huh; between this and the sex rite stuff, I’m starting to think this is less a regular village and more some sort of religious commune.

We Love Wheat: 6

Noble changes tactics and starts telling Sindri that he’ll at least have the satisfaction of knowing he’s helped the Motherworld, but Sindri doesn’t seem to buy it. He goes on to explain about how poor the land is and how little they get out of it, but his lies are so obvious that even I, the girl who grew up in a desert, can see through them, and Noble doesn’t seem very convinced either. Sindri invites Noble into the longhouse for some ale, while Noble muses about how everyone looks really strong and healthy for people whose farms are apparently not very productive. Finally, Noble asks to speak to whoever is in charge of the harvest (wouldn’t he assume that was Sindri?) which turns out to be none other than our friend Gunnar. Noble starts questioning Gunnar about the harvest, and Gunnar admits that Sindri is downplaying things, and they might have enough to sell. Whoops!

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 5

We Love Wheat: 7



Noble is glad to hear it, but then, surprise surprise, turns back to Sindri and starts menacingly questioning why he lied to him. Me, I’m mostly wondering why Sindri didn’t make sure to tell Gunnar beforehand, if he’s really the one in charge of the harvest, to stick to the story. Gunnar tries to break in to say that Sindri isn’t a liar, he’s just cautious, and then the two of them get into an argument about who has the authority to speak for the village, which amuses Noble. He decides they need a lesson in leadership, and hands his hat to one of the priests, who gives him a fancy wooden cane in return. He sizes up both Gunnar and Sindri for a bit, then whirls on Sindri and hits him hard in the face with the cane, sending him sprawling; Sindri’s wife drops the mug of ale in shock, while Noble proceeds to beat Sindri with the cane over and over again; I’m not sure if he was dead already after the first blow, but he definitely is when Noble’s done with him. When his wife tries to run to his side, one of Noble’s guards draws a sword and cuts her down, too. Ugh; I always heard that when Imperial officers wanted people dead, they mostly just shot them. But I guess that’s not hardcore enough for Noble!

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 3 (beating people to death with your cane is much more hardcore than shooting or choking them, isn’t it?)

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 7

We Love Wheat: 8

When You’re Evil: 9

MG: Definitely not. And it’s not like this method of killing is somehow out of character for Noble, who will be consistently depicted as a vicious beast of a man barely constrained by a thin veneer of culture (Ed Skrein, by the by, is one of the better performances in the movie – he clearly understood perfectly that his assignment was to deliver a loathsome Space Nazi, and that’s exactly what he does; it’s not a subtle or nuanced performance in any way, mind, but this isn’t a role that calls for subtlety). But I definitely think Snyder in choosing this method for his villain’s preferred means of killing (viscerally beating people to death with a hardwood cane he apparently keeps just for that purpose) instead of something more straightforward like shooting or stabbing people was making a not so subtle statement about how serious and edgy this universe is, and not clean like Star Wars – and displaying the all too common fallacy that violence automatically makes something mature.

Tahiri: I’ve known some people who thought like that. The Yuuzhan Vong killed most of them. Anyway, we get some lingering shots of everyone – especially Gunnar and Sam – watching in horror, and then Noble levels his cane at Gunnar and demands to know how soon he can get his harvest. Gunnar, panicking, guesses about nine weeks, and Noble promises he’ll be back then, and that he expects a delivery so large the village won’t have enough left to feed themselves. Gunnar doesn’t understand why he’s doing this or what he wants (uh… he’s not exactly been subtle about it!) and Noble, echoing Kora from earlier, says he wants everything.

We Love Wheat: 9

When You’re Evil: 11

MG: Okay, now that the scene is over with, I’d like to take a moment to talk a bit more about the logistics of this, and why I think it doesn’t really hold up. For one, just to get this out of the way, some reviews of the movie I’ve seen have complained about how unrealistic it is to expect this one farming village to feed a whole galactic empire. It should be obvious by now that this is a misunderstanding (or deliberate misrepresentation) of the plot – they’re just going to be expected to feed Noble’s ship for one mission, not the whole Imperium long-term, which is much more doable. But I still think it has problems. For one, despite his claims to be running low on supplies, Noble is clearly in no hurry – he can easily afford to wait nine weeks for his harvest with no indication his crew are ever on the verge of starvation at any point in either movie, which makes all this feel significantly less urgent than he implies. For another, while it’s pretty clear that this is outside of the Motherworld’s core territories, and therefore Noble probably can’t just pop over to a military base or loyal planet for easy resupply, surely, he has better options for places to buy (or bully) supplies from than this random village in the middle of nowhere? Especially since even if Noble gets the grain, he and his men will still have to mill it into flour, and then use that to make Space Bread (or whatever); there’ve got to be trading ports and the like (we know those exist in this universe, we’ll see them by the end of the movie) where he can buy actual food. And finally… this village isn’t the only farm in the universe, and there’s no indication it’s the only one even on Veldt itself. I’m genuinely at a loss as to why, the moment it became apparent they were going to be less than cooperative, Noble didn’t just have the King’s Gaze glass them from orbit as a warning to the next village in line. Seriously, based on how the Motherworld in general and Noble in particular are characterized later, leaving with only two murders (Sindri and his wife) under his belt is downright restrained. But I guess if any of that happened, we couldn’t have our shout-out to Seven Samurai, so *shrugs* I do think it would’ve made more sense if this village produced not wheat but some sort of valuable phlebotinum, like Spice from Dune, that Noble needed and couldn’t easily get elsewhere… but Snyder seems to have really, really wanted to do this plot with wheat.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 8

We Love Wheat: 10



Tahiri: Huh. Well, we cut to the Motherworld gunships taking off, leaving a small squad of troopers behind to ride herd on the villagers. Their commander says they’re going to take over a big barn as their base and need to move their stuff there, and orders one of his men, Marcus, to evict anyone who objects. Which Marcus is clearly thrilled about the prospect of doing, so the movie wants to make sure we know he’s a real sleemo. Meanwhile, the young soldier we saw making eyes at Sam earlier opens a crate, and out pops what looks a bit like one of Lando Calrissian’s YVH war droids. Okay; wasn’t expecting that. The droid announces that he’s JC-1435 of the “Mechanicus Militarum,” whatever that is, and that he was a defender of the king – or rather, the Slain King. And oh, I recognize that voice! It’s our narrator! I guess this is the character he was voicing, huh? The young soldier, in turn, introduces himself as Private Aris. Great, now we all know each other.

When You’re Evil: 12



MG: For a brief rundown, Private Aris is played by Sky Yang; Faunus, the commander of this unit, is Brandon Auret; Marcus is Greg Kriek. “Jimmy” the robot is, as Tahiri picked up on, voiced by Anthony Hopkins (Dustin Ceithammer stood in for him physically on-set). Now Jimmy, on the one hand, generally seems to be a lot of people’s favorite character from these movies, or at least up there – partially because his basic concept (essentially, he’s C-3PO, if he was an aging knight instead of a fussy butler) is a pretty cool one on its own, and partially because Anthony Hopkins. Alas, even compared to a lot of other characters in this (and you may have noticed there are a lot of them, and we’re nowhere near done introducing them), he is terribly underused.

Tahiri: Aris asks… “Jimmy” …for help in moving supplies, which is apparently something his programming allows him to do. Marcus, meanwhile, takes a break from yelling at villagers to order Sam to bring him some water; when she does, he slurps it grossly while leering at her. *flatly* Clearly, this is a man of deep complexity. Faunus the commander also takes a drink, but he’s neater about it and actually thanks her; Marcus yells at her and runs her off, still leering creepily at her. Once she’s gone, Faunus tells him off… but makes it clear he’s interested in Sam, too. Okay, so, from that I gather that Marcus is indeed an irredeemable sleemo, and Faunus is more disciplined and professional on the surface… but still a sleemo on the inside. Great. And I have a really bad feeling about where this plotline is going… I hope I’m wrong, but somehow, I don’t think I am.

When You’re Evil: 14

Marcus suddenly gets distracted since he’s spotted Jimmy… which for some reason makes him start excitedly howling like a nek dog and beating his chest. Please don’t tell me he pervs on droids, too… Aris is busy helping hand Jimmy boxes and giving him advice, while Marcus explains to Faunus (wait, why does Marcus know this, and Faunus doesn’t? Faunus is the officer here, right?) that after the king was killed, the Jimmies all laid down their weapons and refused to fight anymore, even to protect themselves. And to demonstrate this he literally raises his blaster and starts shooting Jimmy while screaming abuse at him (all while Faunus does absolutely nothing about this damage to Motherworld property); when Aris tries to intervene, Marcus threatens to shoot him, too. *rolling her eyes* Great military discipline you have here, guys. Finally, Faunus intervenes and tells him to knock it off; he then sets Aris back to work moving crates and tells Jimmy, who fell when Marcus shot him and is now covered in mud, to go wash himself off. Everyone else, Marcus included, is to get back to work.

Exposition Intrusion: 9 (for Marcus randomly spouting of the Jimmies’ backstory)

When You’re Evil: 15



We cut to Jimmy washing himself in the nearby river when he’s approached by Sam, who was watching the whole altercation earlier. She brings him a cloth to dry himself with; when she asks if he’s a soldier, he admits he was, a long time ago. Sam introduces herself and sits down next to him, and Jimmy asks if she knows about the Slain King and his daughter, Princess Issa. Sam doesn’t, but apparently, she reminds Jimmy of the princess, so he just launches straight into the story. Apparently, Issa was some sort of prophesied savior, “the Chalice of the Redeemer,” and before she was born, Jimmy and his fellow… Jimmies… were sworn to fight for her, and when Jimmy heard she actually had been born, he thought it was the dawn of a new age of peace for the universe. This causes Sam to randomly decide Issa was magic (um, speaking from personal experience, but from what Jimmy said, people just worshipped Issa – he never said anything about what she was like as a person! Not the same thing!). Jimmy says she was more than magic, but on the day when she was to be crowned, she and her parents were betrayed and assassinated by the people they trusted most, and Jimmy thinks that all that was the best in his people died with her. Sam, though, thinks that it lives in Jimmy himself, and promptly places a flower crown that I… guess she was making while he was talking? … on his head and touches his face, which… makes a bunch of spots on it light up? I guess? Not sure if that’s just because he’s happy or if it means something else, but Sam then gets up and runs off, leaving Jimmy alone to rub his face, while his lights keep blinking and the music soars around him.

Exposition Intrusion: 11

MG: Okay, first off, that bit about Issa being magic… that wasn’t Jimmy being poetic. One of the stranger things about this movie, tonally speaking, is that Snyder seems to have inexplicably decided this grim, gritty, self-serious saga… required a sparkly Disney Princess with literal, unexplained magic powers as a crucial backstory element. But more on that when we get there. For now, I’ll say that this scene has problems, but strangely, it works. Jimmy suddenly spilling his heart to a random girl he barely knows because she gave him a washcloth kind of comes out of nowhere, and as usual for Snyder’s expository writing, the dialogue is very heavy-handed and overwrought, laying it on really thick… but between the haunting music and, well, Anthony Hopkins, something about it just manages to click.

Tahiri: *glances up at the explanation about Issa* What? I mean, okay, okay, Force users are a thing… but I had no idea this galaxy had them… fine, moving on. We cut to the inside of the longhouse, where people are yelling at Gunnar for how this is his fault (it may sound harsh, but… it kind of is?) while he insists he had no idea Noble was going to kill anyone. Someone wonders what they can do about the soldiers; Den finally suggests they just bring in the harvest and makes themselves indispensable to Noble, who won’t kill them if he thinks he needs them. Everyone else excitedly agrees with this – you people really are naïve, aren’t you? – declaring that their work will “fight for them,” which everyone repeats over and over just to make sure we get it. Kora, meanwhile, is watching all of this with a disgusted expression; when Den says they can appeal to the Motherworld’s humanity, she storms out.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 4 (note the implication that trying to appeal to the villains’ humanity is stupid and naïve)

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 9

We Love Wheat: 12

We cut to Kora back at her house, packing her things; Hagen comes in and asks if she’s running. He’d thought she’d be sick of that by now, but she says the others are delusional if they think they’ll get mercy from the Motherworld. I have to say I’m with her – clearly, Noble and his Murder Cane are proof that these are a people with a deep well of mercy and compassion! Hagen reminisces about how he found Kora in the wreckage of a crashed ship, and how he almost left her there because he was afraid she’d bring danger to the village – but now, he doesn’t regret saving her, since she’s become a part of their community (wait, I thought she had to get married for that to be the case – or have we forgotten that plot point?). Now, he accuses her of leaving when her people need her, but Kora says the village is already doomed. Hagen wonders if they could fight – if they might get help from other enemies of the Motherworld; he wonders if Kora, who has traveled beyond Veldt, would know how to find the rebels Noble is hunting and get their aid. But Kora refuses to give them false hope, or to throw away her own life fighting, and Hagen finally lets her go.

Exposition Intrusion: 13

When You’re Evil: 16



Warning: Potentially Triggering Content Begins Here



We cut to Sam outside, filling up a water bucket. As she turns to leave, she passes the barn where the soldiers are holed up, and Marcus calls out to her from the door, demanding more water; while Kora is in the background saddling up her animal, Marcus starts harassing Sam and then he and one of the others slap the water bucket out of her hands and start bodily hauling her into the barn. *looking faintly ill* Oh, gods help me, I was right… because obviously, after all we’ve seen so far, the only way to make sure we know the Motherworld are evil is to make them kriffing rapists. Kora watches from a distance, clearly horrified, as Sam screams for help, and then spots an axe lying conveniently nearby. Inside the barn, Aris tries to stand up for Sam, but Marcus and his cronies overpower him and hold him back; Marcus taunts Aris with how he’s going to make him watch as turns Sam “From a farmgirl... into a whore,” and this is even worse than I thought it would be, why are we doing this? Finally, Faunus shows up and tells Marcus to stop… because he wants a go at Sam first. *screams and buries her face in her hands* Jedi aren’t supposed to hate… but I really think that when it comes to this scene, the Jedi Code can make an exception! Faunus picks Sam up, sniffing her creepily and promising his men they can all have her when he’s done, and why is this still going on, I think you’ve made your point, Snyder! Sam bursts into tears… and then, finally, Kora appears in the doorway, holding the axe and telling them to stop.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 6 (clearly, what Star Wars needed all along was attempted gang rape)

When You’re Evil: 20 (whole bunch of points for this)



Faunus just leers and makes a gross threat at her too, and then as the soldiers approach her we go into slow motion (no, no, we want this scene to go by faster!); at first she looks like she’s going to surrender, but then she springs into action and we get an absolutely loving slow motion fight scene as she tears into the Motherworld soldiers and absolutely wrecks them. They’re clearly no match for her at all, though she gets a little help from Aris, after he breaks free from the ones holding him. Marcus opens fire on her, but she shoots the blaster out of his hands with one she took from one of the others and then takes him down, and then she and Aris both turn on Faunus, who’s holding Sam at gunpoint. A moment later, Jimmy runs in, and Faunus tells him to kill them both – wait, Faunus, you know that the Jimmies can’t fight since the king died, right? Even in defense of themselves? Telling a droid to do something that’s literally against their programming… doesn’t accomplish anything, because they literally can’t do it. You do know that, don’t you? But Jimmy bends down, slowly picks up a blaster – and then shoots Faunus through the head, saving Sam (therefore somehow violating what sounds like a core part of his programming for a girl he just met – are we going to get an explanation for that?). He then turns and, seemingly shocked by what he just did, bolts from the barn. A moment later, the rest of the village comes pouring in, shocked at what they’ve just seen – Kora finishes off one last Motherworld soldier, and tells them they’re going to have to fight.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 7

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 10

Slow Mo, Oh No: 8 (giving five points for this counter for the whole scene)

When You’re Evil: 21



MG: Okay, and now that this sequence is over, I’d like to talk a bit about why I find it so very uncomfortable. For one, it’s lazy. “Make the bad guys all rapists to show how evil they are” is usually a very lazy trope, and in this case the execution doesn’t help matters at all. The scene just lingers. It’s painfully obvious what Marcus intends to do as soon as he starts harassing Sam, but we have to wait for Kora to intervene until the literal last second, so we can make sure we see all the soldiers, from Faunus on down (except Aris, being the Token Good Mortherworlder), being disgusting lecherous pigs, with the script lingering lovingly on all their gross “evil rapist” dialogue, and the camera lingering lovingly on Sam’s fear and anguish. Beyond even that, though, what really gets me is that… the scene isn’t about Sam. She’s the catalyst for it, the prop, but not really a person in it. The scene serves to a, show how evil the soldiers are. B., to facilitate a cool dramatic slow-motion fight scene between Kora (with a little help from Aris) and the soldiers (and using attempted rape as the trigger for a cool fight scene is gross in and of itself). And C., it exists to have catalyze character development for Kora, Jimmy, Aris and the villagers overall, to make them all willing to fight the Motherworld. It doesn’t really have anything to say about sexual violence, either, beyond “watch these gross evil rapists be evil and gross.” But poor Sam isn’t a very important character to begin with, and this (which, again, serves to catalyze events and characterization for a bunch of other people) is probably her biggest scene in either movie, and to have it be this… yeesh.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 8



Potentially Triggering Content Ends Here



Tahiri: Yeah, “yeesh” is about right. We cut to outside, the next morning, as Hagen gives Kora something he found at her crashed ship. It turns out to be a fancy blaster in a holster; she says she thought she’d lost it, but Hagen had feared it could be dangerous. Kora agrees it is. Uh… yeah. It’s a weapon. That’s kind of inherent in the description…



MG: I’ve seen some criticism of how fancy Kora’s gun is, since that obviously doesn’t help its function in any way and has been taken as just another sign of Snyder overdesigning things. In this case, though, I think it makes perfect sense. Kora, we’ll learn, was a very elite guard (if the fact that she just thrashed a whole room full of guys much bigger than her with zero effort didn’t clue you in), so her having a very ornate gun makes sense. It certainly looks fancier than what the rank-and-file types get, from what I can tell.



Tahiri: Hagen asks Kora where she’ll go; she says she’s heard of a famous general named Titus, who once fought for the Motherworld but turned against them; she thinks he’s still out there somewhere and might be able to serve as a mentor. And he doesn’t sound like one of the rebels we’ve already heard of; weird. She also calls Gunnar over and has him explain how he sold grain to the Bloodaxe siblings and has a contact in Providence who put them in touch. Kora asks him to take her to said contact; he promises he will. Hagen tells them that with a general and an army, they might have a chance. They hug, and then Kora and Gunnar mount up; Hagen wishes them a safe journey, and they set out. We get some shots of them riding across plains and hills, and then we cut to them making camp for the night with the orange gas giant overhead.

Exposition Intrusion: 14



Gunnar asks if Kora was a Motherworld soldier; she admits she was, something I think we all probably guessed by this point. He guesses she was highly ranked and is now wanted as a deserter, and she says she’s wanted for other things, too (I think we could have guessed that part too). She asks if he has any more questions; Gunnar admits he can understand why Noble wanted to make an example by killing Sindri, but he doesn’t understand why they’d destroy the whole village. Uh, because you (one of you, anyway) wiped out a whole squad of their troops? Dictatorships tend to take a pretty dim view of that sort of thing, in my experience! But Kora seems to decide that this is the moment to start explaining more of her backstory, so let’s dive into it!

When You’re Evil: 22

Kora starts explaining how she was nine when the Motherworld conquered her planet. She doesn’t know why, they never offered terms, they just attacked. Huh; once again, that sounds a bit like the Yuuzhan Vong. But wait, isn’t the Motherworld in the market for resources and subjects? Wouldn’t giving planets a chance to actually, you know, surrender so they could take them intact be smart, then? Do they just love the thrill of conquest that much? Maybe they do. We see a young Kora wandering through ruined streets, grabbing a blaster from a dead Motherworld soldier, as present!Kora narrates how the general who commanded the attack was none other than Balisarius, the future regent himself. Apparently, Balisarius loved close combat so much that he always led his troops from the front lines.

Exposition Intrusion: 17

Slow Mo, Oh No: 10

When You’re Evil: 24



MG: Which is kind of a weird way to introduce a character who both movies are going to present as a mostly hands-off evil overlord, not going to lie. By the way, Elizabeth Martinez plays child!Kora; Balisarius is played by Fra Fee.

Tahiri: Child!Kora wanders through the streets some more and sees some sort of walker smashing its way through buildings, as present!Kora narrates how her people had resisted the invasion, and Balisarius took out his anger for that on the populace. She goes running off, passing soldiers gunning down civilians and a couple of those red priests standing around being creepy, until she finally ends up face to face with Balisarius himself! Who is just… wandering the streets himself mid-battle all alone, apparently, without any priests, bodyguards, or support staff in sight. No, we’re not told why, but that doesn’t sound like any general I’ve ever heard of. He approaches Kora, then kneels down in front of her and presses her blaster against his face (which is covered in blood), but when she tries to shoot him, nothing happens. Still, apparently something about her impressed him; present!Kora doesn’t know why, but he decided to not only take her with him, but adopt her as his own daughter, and renamed her Arthelais. We cut to Arthelais – I’m just going to call past!Kora that, to keep her straight from present!Kora - sometime later standing at the window of Balisarius’s warship, as present!Kora keeps narrating about how for the next several years she lived on that ship as Balisarius campaigned, and how he taught and trained her and molded her in his own image.

Exposition Intrusion: 20

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 11 (why was Balisarius just wandering around the battlefield alone, where any lucky local could have taken him out?)

When You’re Evil: 25



MG: Now, I can’t help but notice that this whole backstory is… familiar. Like, really familiar. As in, what we’ve seen so far is almost exactly Gamora’s backstory from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with the scene where she meets and is “adopted” by Balisarius being almost exactly a grittier version of the flashback to Thanos “adopting” Gamora after slaughtering her people in Infinity War. Now “raised by the Evil Overlord before turning on him later in life” is a reasonably common backstory, and can be very effective when done well… I’m just saying that in this case, more so than the general trope it just feels like Snyder recycled Gamora’s backstory almost exactly. Except that there’s no one in Kora’s life who’s a good counterpart to Nebula, which is a pity; Nebula, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, would make this movie a lot more interesting.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 9 (for Kora’s backstory being an edgier version of Gamora’s, which wasn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows to begin with)



Tahiri: Well, it kind of reminds me of certain elements of my own past I’d rather not dwell on, so let’s just get through this. We cut to Balisarius’s fleet approaching a city planet that looks a bit like Coruscant but which I guess must be the Motherworld, and then cut down to the surface where we see an older Arthelais in dress uniform standing in the middle of a crowd, who are all listening to what looks like another general or senator (not Balisarius) giving a speech, while Balisarius himself watches from his seat off to the side with approval; Kora narrates about the life of privilege she now had as the daughter of a decorated general who was friends with the royal family.

Exposition Intrusion: 22

Slow Mo, Oh No: 11

When You’re Evil: 26 (more Nazi imagery!)



MG: And just to make sure we get the point, the speech Arthelais is attending has a very… Nuremberg Rally type framing to it (though the gothic looking architecture of the Motherworld feels very much like another piece of Warhammer 40K visual influence). We also get our first glimpse of the King (Cary Elwes; apparently, out of universe sources list the character’s name as Athander, but he’s just credited as the King) and the royal family in this scene, sitting next to Balisarius.



Tahiri: As we pan through the crowd, we get to see a bit of Arthelais making out with another soldier; apparently, finding a lover is something the Motherworld strongly encourages its soldiers to do. For morale, I guess? *shrugs* We then cut to Arthelais’ boyfriend lying dead on a frozen battlefield. *winces in sympathy* I… understand that feeling, far more than I would like to, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. She kisses him one last time, then jumps up and grabs a gun, and we get a montage of her charging through the battle – with slow motion cutting in and out with no apparent rhyme or reason, and it looks really silly (though the shots of the battlefield from a distance are pretty impressive)– until at last she leads the Motherworld forces to victory and raises their flag on a conquered world, all when she was still only eighteen. Kora’s narration concludes by describing how she fought for the people who had destroyed her own, and how they remade her in their own image. We then cut back to the present, where Gunnar continues the proud tradition Hagen started of people sitting there looking very uncomfortable as Kora monologues about her past to them, while she wraps up by saying she knows Noble will wipe out their village… because it’s what she’d do in his place.

Exposition Intrusion: 24

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 10 (our heroine just admitted that she would – in the present tense – commit a massacre in Noble’s position)

Slow Mo, Oh No: 15

When You’re Evil: 28



We then cut to Kora and Gunnar approaching a city with a label describing this as Providence (so that’s where that is!) flashing on the screen. Looks kind of like Mos Eisley to me; a wretched hive of scum and villainy, and all that. Only if anything, it might be even shabbier. Impressive! Or maybe not. We cut to some leathery grey guys beating up a human in the middle of the streets as the rain pours down; Kora describes them as Hawkshaws, then says they’re bounty hunters who work for the Imperium, and I’m not sure if “Hawkshaws” is the name of their species, or their profession. And that’s when Gunnar announces that the guy the Hawkshaws are beating up is their contact! *she doubles over laughing* Oh, for Yun-Harla the Trickster’s sake… you literally just happened to run into the guy you’re here to see randomly, in the middle of the street, right as he’s in the process of being arrested! The sheer coincidence of that… either you all have the absolute worst luck in the galaxy, or someone knows you’re coming and has deliberately set a trap for you! Well, if so, it doesn’t work; despite the fact we know for a fact Kora can thrash a whole room full of professional soldiers and this is just a couple of bounty hunters… she doesn’t lift a finger to help, even as the Hawkshaws deploy some weird sort of droid that looks like a spine with legs to grab the guy and haul him off.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 12 (for Edgier Mos Eisley, and Kora’s non-reaction)



Instead, Kora is almost comically nonchalant as she asks if Gunnar has any other way to contact the Bloodaxes. He’s a bit more bothered by this, but not by much, as he says he doesn’t… then says all he knows is that the Bloodaxes are on a planet called Sharaan, under the protection of King Levitica. So… you know what planet they’re on, and you know who’s hiding them… but you don’t know how to contact them. Riiight. Throughout this whole conversation, by the way, their contact is being marched off, screaming in agony the whole way. Nobody seems to give a kriff. Great town! Kora and Gunnar then march into a tavern across the street, which, surprisingly considering how human-heavy this story has been so far, is full of all manner of creatures who turn to watch them come in.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 12 (for Gunnar not knowing how to contact the rebels… despite actually knowing exactly how to contact them)



MG: *sigh* It’s just the cantina scene from A New Hope. It’s pretty much exactly that scene; sleazy spaceport town, dive bar full of aliens that we pan around to see how weird and diverse the galaxy is, and so on. The big difference is, the lighting is worse, and the aliens are grosser looking, because this is edgy pulp space adventure, guys!

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 13 (edgy cantina scene!)



Tahiri: …great. And let me guess, Captain Solo isn’t going to suddenly show up to make this more bearable and give me a free ride off planet on the Falcon. *sigh* A Hawkshaw brushes past Kora and glares at her as they make their way to the bar, while another being looks like he’s ogling them (oh, gods, not again…). They go up to the bartender, who either has dozens of candles mounted on his shoulder pads or some sort of growths that make it look like his shoulders are covered in candles; he pours them some drinks as they very loudly and conspicuously talk about how to find the Bloodaxes (ie, the fugitives wanted by the most powerful empire in your galaxy). Kora, meanwhile, wants to focus on finding General Titus first.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 13



Potentially Triggering Content Begins Here



Tahiri: …and that’s when the gross looking being ogling them earlier comes up and starts running his hands all over Gunnar while very unsubtly flirting with him. *facepalms* It’s happening again. To a man, this time, but… that doesn’t make it better! Especially when he flat out offers to buy Gunnar (or maybe he just thinks he’s a sex worker and is trying to hire him, I don’t know…). And then when Gunnar makes it clear he’s not interested, the guy literally grabs him by the crotch and makes it plain he won’t take no for an answer. *beat* I seem to recall Master Skywalker got into an altercation a bit like this when he was around my age… except Dr. Evazan and Ponda Baba didn’t want to rape him, they just wanted to kill him because they thought he was rude! And Master Kenobi put an end to it really quick, but this story, sigh, insists on dragging all the bad things out. Finally, Kora intervenes and tells him to beat it. He pulls a knife on her and calls her a “jealous little bitch,” which doesn’t end well for him as Kora proceeds to beat the tar out of him. And, considering what we’ve already seen she can do, “Kora versus gross bar tough” is about as one-sided as you’d expect. Still has some slow motion, though. Finally, and thankfully, the guy turns and bolts from the bar.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 15 (more attempted rape! With bonus homophobia!)

Slow Mo, Oh No: 16



MG: And I’ve got to say, this scene isn’t as viscerally gross as the attempted rape scene with Sam earlier, but it still makes me very uncomfortable. Mostly because the alien who assaults Gunnar plays into some very nasty stereotypes about sexually predatory gay men; he doesn’t care what Gunnar wants, he makes it very clear he won’t accept “no” as an answer and is therefore presented as a threat to our presumably straight (only shown to be attracted to women on-screen, at least) male love interest’s manhood. Not to mention that, at odds with his brutish appearance, he’s given a very prissy, nasally, and rather high-pitched voice that also feels very stereotypical. I’m reminded of how I once read that Snyder deliberately wanted Xerxes’ interactions with Leonidas in 300 to read as flirty and sexually forward, specifically to make straight men in the audience uncomfortable with Xerxes. I’d have hoped Snyder might have learned something in the intervening decade-and-a-half, but based on this scene, I guess he didn’t. Also, there are several characters who appear to be in drag who are hanging around in a corner of the bar; they don’t do anything, but seem to just be there to underscore the sleezy ambiance of the place, which is also… not great, to put it mildly (on the other hand, and to Snyder’s credit, there is a heroic character later in this movie and Part II who is canonically nonbinary, though that’s not really drawn attention to in any way in the films themselves beyond said character’s generally androgynous appearance and mannerisms serving to imply it). But on its own merits, this scene is just bad; and yes, it really does feel like Snyder wanted to reenact the Mos Eisley bar fight scene from A New Hope… and for some reason thought it needed the threat of sexual violence, because this movie is for adults! Blegh



Potentially Triggering Content Ends Here



Tahiri: Well. Once the guy is gone, Kora announces to the whole bar that she’s looking for information on General Titus (which, since he’s also a known rebel, doesn’t seem that wise either). The bar patrons all start whispering to each other, but the only one who speaks up… is some sort of glowing jellyfish/crab/spider thing whose tentacles are hooked up to an apparently naked man sitting behind it… and when it “speaks,” it does so by sending lights flashing down the tentacles, which force the man to speak the jellyfish/crab/spider’s words. And it looks very, very unpleasant for him. So, uh… are we just going to ignore that our informant appears to be casually mind-raping a guy every time it wants to talk? That’s not exactly something I’d be comfortable walking away from! The creature just repeats what we already knew about how Titus turned on the Motherworld, and that most recently he was seen fighting in the arena on a planet called Pollux. And apparently the last person who went looking for him got his head stuck on a pike as a warning not to bother him. So… he sounds like a fun guy!

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 17



MG: And keep this in mind; it’s going to be kind of hilarious in hindsight when we get to the scene where Titus is actually recruited!

Tahiri: Oh, boy! Anyway, at this point the creature gets done talking, which seems to make the guy it’s talking… through… choke out, while our heroes stand there completely unconcerned. All Kora cares about is going to Pollux to find Titus. Gunnar thinks they need a ship (you think?). And… that’s when the doors open and the bar creep comes bursting back in (oh, great…) with what looks like some hired muscle; he creepily tells Kora she should have killed him, and now he’s going to kill her. Uh-huh; again, we’ve seen what she can do. I’m not exactly shaking on my feet here. Kora’s not impressed either, telling him she’ll give him one chance to walk away – he asks if she’s giving all of them one chance… at which point it looks like all of one more guy steps out from the back and joins him. Seriously? That’s it?

So, after a long pause the bar tough orders his goons to kill Kora; everyone else in the bar scatters (the jellyfish/crab/spider thing abandoning its host to its fate as we get an extended shot of it scurrying out of the way) and then we get yet another overlong fight scene in slow motion. Yawn. Well, Kora does most of the fighting; Gunnar just sort of punches one of the goons ineffectively. Hey, cut him some slack, he’s trying! Finally, Kora has brought down all the goons, but the original creep is rising up behind her with a blaster… only to be suddenly shot through the head by a guy in a hooded cloak who’s been lurking in the shadows around the bar the whole scene. Kora whirls on the new guy, but he raises his hands and makes it clear he doesn’t want to fight. She notes that he was trading with the Hawkshaws earlier, but he makes it clear he doesn’t work for them, or anyone – he’s more of a freelancer. They turn to leave, but the stranger catches up to them, saying he heard they’re looking for transport to Pollux (yeah, they told the whole bar that!). Gunnar tries to say they’re just farmers, but Kora says they’re looking for people to fight the Motherworld. The stranger says he knows they can’t pay him much, but he is interested in this job – he introduces himself as Kai and offers his ship and his services as a pilot. *rolls her eyes* Great. They didn’t get Captain Solo after all – they got the cheap knockoff version.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 18 (meet knockoff!Han Solo!)

Slow Mo, Oh No: 19



MG: Kai is played by Charlie Hunnam. And yes. Sleezy port town, shady bar, getting into a fight in the shady bar, and now we’ve hired a charming rogue and his starship. This couldn’t be more obviously Snyder recreating the Mos Eisley scene from A New Hope… except this version has fewer Wookiees, and more attempted rape.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 19



Tahiri: And if that doesn’t sum up this whole experience… Anyway, after some shots of our intrepid heroes making their way down the city streets through the rain, we cut to a run-down looking starship – Kai’s, I guess – as it takes off, while one of the Hawkshaws watches from a nearby alley. Kai lays in a course for Pollux, but says he wants to stop on another planet first, where he knows a rancher who has an indentured servant who he thinks Kora and Gunnar might be interested in. He then wonders if Gunnar’s ever been off planet; Gunnar admits he hasn’t and describes his duties in overseeing the harvest. Kai tells him to hold on… and the ship does not jump to hyperspace, sadly, but just starts moving slightly faster at sublight speeds, which Kai seems to think is exciting and Gunnar seems to find overwhelming but looks pretty tame from where I’m standing.



We then cut to the King’s Gaze, which seems to be just… hovering there in space. Inside, Admiral Noble, who is apparently naked *wrinkles her nose* takes a deep breath before affixing some sort of cable or hose to his side. I don’t know what it does, but it sure seems like he likes it from the blissed-out expression he gets; some new way to takes spice (or whatever that’s called in this universe; “drugs,” maybe?), I guess? And from some of the round scars he’s got all over his torso, I’d guess he’s done this before… a lot. Someone suddenly knocks on the bulkhead, and the clearly annoyed Noble asks for them to come in. It’s Cassius, here with a report – and oh, as he comes in, we can see Noble turn around in his chair and from what we can see it looks like he is indeed naked, or possibly just wearing very short underwear and nothing else. But I know what my credits are on… And you know, high ranking Yuuzhan Vong usually kill subordinates who walk in on them naked. Just seems worth pointing out. Makes the Motherworld seem kind of lax in comparison! Cassius reports that the Hawkshaws have contacted them and want to rendezvous, saying that they have a captive who has information on the Bloodaxes. Noble is very pleased to hear it… and gets up and walks over to a pool in the far side of his room, where some sort of tentacled creature starts wrapping its arms and suckers all over him, which he apparently… is into! *mildly* I don’t think officers of the Galactic Empire are into kinky dianoga sex. Guess Motherworld officers are more… flexible. Or maybe I’m just sheltered. Either way, the scene ends there. So glad we saw that!

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 21 (naked tentacle alien sex! Woohoo!)



MG: And before we go, I’d just like to take a moment to comment on the aesthetics of the King’s Gaze, and to a lesser extent the movie as a whole. This is the first time we’ve seen the inside of the Motherworld warship, and to be frank, it’s kind of underwhelming. It’s very industrial looking, but in a way that makes the ship and its technology look kind of… crude and slipshod. Comparing it to the overall look of the Galactic Empire – sleek, efficient, sterile – or even the decaying Gothic grandeur of the Imperium of Man, and it just feels like the Motherworld can’t measure up, if this is the best they can do on one of their most powerful ships. What it makes me think of the most is probably the Terrans from Starcraft – except the colonists the Terrans are descended from were exiles from Earth and have historically been rather resource poor, if creative in how they use what they have – and even the opulence of the Terran upper crust (first in the Confederacy, then the Dominion) can’t quite hide that cobbled-together look. The Motherworld, though, is supposed to be an old civilization, rich from a thousand years of imperial plunder (and the Terran storylines in Starcraft are very much meant to have a “space western” vibe; while parts of Rebel Moon do too, it’s not the parts with the Morherworld) – what’s their excuse?

As for the movie overall, it has a few cool environments – the opening shot of the gas giant in twilight over Veldt, our brief look at the Motherworld itself, and a few more we’ve not seen yet – but I think a lot of it falls flat. Part of it is Snyder’s insistence on using washed out colors for everything, that ends up making the whole universe look grey and dingy. But part of it is the environments themselves. Especially the fact that they’re all dirty. We have a poor, dirty farming village; a dirty rundown spaceport; a grimy, crude-looking warship; and some of the places we’ve not seen yet (though at this point we’re almost halfway through) are cramped and dirty too. Very little of this universe looks like a place I’d want to live, or even spend time in – it all just gives a rather off-putting vibe. When it comes to visual look, Jupiter Ascending – which is, despite its other problems, a very visually striking and memorable movie – definitely takes the cake over Rebel Moon on this one.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 22 (for the overall grimy, gritty aesthetic)

Tahiri: Not seen it; I’ll take your word on that. We cut to Kai’s ship (I don’t think we’ve been given a name for it, so I’m just going to keep thinking of it as a discount Millennium Falcon if that’s oaky with everyone) setting down in a desert surrounded by lots of rocky outcroppings, with a caption reading that this is a frontier homestead on the planet Neu-Wodi. The homestead’s owner cheerfully greets Kai as “the bastard from Saaldorum”; I’m not sure if that’s literal or metaphorical, but Kai doesn’t seem to mind either way.

MG: The homesteader is Hickman (Ray Porter). And though it’s obviously a real name, part of me can’t help but feel that naming a corrupt redneck stereotype Hickman is just a bit on the nose.

Tahiri: Hickman and Kai banter for a bit, and Kai reveals he’s here for someone named Tarak, who’s working off a debt to Hickman. So… desert planet, corrupt landowners, slaves indentured servants… wow, this place reminds me of home. And reminds me of why almost everyone who lives on Tatooine wants to leave. Apparently, Tarak still owes years of work, but Hickman’s willing to let them talk to him in return for money. We cut to Tarak working at a forge; he’s very shirtless and very sweaty, oh my.



MG: Tarak is played by Staz Nair.

Tahiri: Well, Tarak doesn’t want to talk about the circumstances of his servitude, but he does admit he’s guilty of crimes against the Motherworld – that was fast. Gunnar steps up and explains they’re looking for people to fight the Motherworld; Tarak’s up for it, except for the fact that he’s… otherwise occupied, and Kora, Gunnar and Kai between them don’t have enough money to cover his debts. But Hickman’s willing to make a deal. He’s got a winged creature chained up outside – if Tarak can tame it, he’ll let him go. If he can’t, he’ll enslave all three of them. *raises her hand* Questions! One, Hickman already has Tarak and he has the creature. Kora, Gunnar, and Kai didn’t even propose that Tarak could tame it – that was all Hickman’s idea. So… why does he owe them anything if Tarak does it? And why in the galaxy does he think that means he can enslave them too if Tarak doesn’t do it? And, for that matter… once again, we’ve seen what Kora can do. I really have my doubts an out-of-shape old man and his handful of goons are going to be able to clamp a chain on her leg with no problems here, so I’m not really feeling the tension.

Exposition Intrusion: 26

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 17 (what is, uh, anyone’s motivation for agreeing to this? And why does Hickman think they’ll all just passively submit to being enslaved?)

When You’re Evil: 30 (Hickman’s not with the Motherworld, but I’m counting it)

MG: Yeah, this scene would make a lot more sense if Kai or Kora had been the one to propose that Tarak could tame the creature and pitch it to Hickman as a bet; as it stands in the movie, Hickman holds all the cards and he has to reason to give them anything, when he could have Tarak and the beast for no cost. As for the creature itself, in-universe it’s called a bennu, but… it’s a griffin. It’s a giant cat with the head and wings of a bird of prey; really obviously a griffin. And while Part II will show that these creatures are from Tarak’s home planet and have some cultural significance there, so it’s not actually that surprising that he knows how to handle them, this movie doesn’t even bother trying to explain why Tarak and only Tarak can ride it. We’ve not even been given any indication he’s good with animals at all. So, it’s a little out of left field, to put it mildly.



Tahiri: Great. Well, everyone goes outside to see the bennu struggling against several of Hickman’s hirelings’ attempts to restrain it; Kora asks Tarak if he can ride it, and he says he can. Tarak heads into the pen, clears out everyone else, and kneels down in front of the bennu, before he begins speaking soothingly to it in another language, explaining how he’s not going to hurt it, and how they’re kindred spirits for being captives far from home. Everyone watches nervously as the bennu slowly calms down, and then finally allows Tarak to pull off its harness and mount it.

MG: The language of Tarak’s home planet, by the way, was apparently created with input from Staz Nair himself, based on elements from Russian and Portuguese, both of which he speaks. It’s a nice touch, and another sign that the cast and crew seem to have at least tried to take the movie seriously and put effort and heart into it.



Tahiri: And so, they take off, and the scene that follows is… really pretty impressive, I’ve got to say. Tarak and the bennu fly off through the canyon, with Tarak managing to keep mounted on the bennu’s back even as it puts him through some dramatic maneuvers trying to shake him off, while heroic music plays in the background. Though at one point, the scene goes into slow motion (of course!) as the bennu turns and looks right at the audience with those big, bright bird-of-prey eyes and it’s kind of unsettling. Uh… hello there? The bennu bucks Tarak off after this, but he lands safely on a cliffside, which he runs along and manages to catch back up before leaping (in slow motion!) back onto the bennu; after this, it seems to decide he’s worthy, and the two of them fly along for a while as ethereal music plays. At one point they swoop low over Kora, and she reaches out towards them, her usual stoicism cracking to show a look of almost childlike wonder, and I really like it. The context doesn’t make much sense, but the actual bennu-riding… it’s a good scene! Or at least better than anything we’ve had for a while.

Slow Mo, Oh No: 21



Finally, the bennu lands; Tarak dismounts, rubs its beak affectionately, and walks over to Hickman, who happily announces his debt is paid. Tarak heads off towards the ship with Kora, Gunnar and Kai, and looks back over his shoulder to watch Hickman try to lasso the bennu… which fails, as the bennu throws him, pens him and then the scene cuts off just as it’s about to maul him to death. Tarak, watching, whispers “attagirl.” So, I guess the bennu’s a she, then? As for Hickman… it’s a bad way to go, but he was a slaver. I’m not shedding any tears. Kora thinks they’ve done good, and asks if Kai knows anyone else they could recruit. He thinks he does.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 18 (Hickman’s death is entirely of his own doing, honestly)

MG: Before we move on, I’d just like to say that I think either Zack Snyder or the marketing team loved the bennu riding scene. It was plastered everywhere in the marketing, serving as a centerpiece in the trailers, and there was even a poster of Kora riding the bennu. And the thing is… that’s it. The bennu never appears in this movie or Part II again (though other bennus appear briefly in a flashback in Part II). Kora certainly never rides one at any point! The entire sequence is almost entirely irrelevant to the plot, save that it allows our heroes to recruit Tarak. Which is, I think, a big problem with it – between this fact, and the rather strange way it’s set up and the minimal introduction or context it’s given, it feels more like a self-contained vignette than an actual part of the movie. Which is going to continue to be a structural issue as Kora and Company look for more warriors to recruit.



Tahiri: …I’d wonder why Snyder didn’t spend more time on this stuff, but I think I know where all the time went – it all got eaten up by the slow motion, sex rites on Veldt, and gross rapists being evil! Because all of that’s the important stuff. Obviously. We then cut to space, where we fly past a volcanic planet and come to an only slightly less woebegone-looking neighboring planet, which the captions tell us is a mining planet called Daggus. Kai’s ship lands in the middle of a foul industrial cityscape that looks a lot like the time I visited Eriadu with Anakin and Corran, except it’s somehow even crappier. Wow. We then cut to the inside of a very primitive and crude looking turbolift (I think you people call those elevators?) where a lean woman is very determinedly and silently staring at the wall. I guess this is the person we’re here to recruit?





MG: Yeah, this is Nemesis (Bae Doona, who some of you might remember had a minor part as Razo the bounty hunter in Jupiter Ascending). I’m actually rather fond of Nemesis’s design; her long, dark coat, tall hat, and severe hairstyle are visually striking and immediately give you an idea of what she’s about, especially once we can see her full body and notice she’s wearing a pair of swords at her waist.

Tahiri: Well, as the turbo… elevator descends into a slum district at the bottom of the city (hey, it’s like Coruscant or Nar Shaddaa – the father down you go, the worse it gets!) we see that Kora, Gunnar, Kai and Tarak are standing behind Nemesis, watching her. At the bottom level they all get out and follow Nemesis through the slums; they’ve apparently already exchanged pleasantries, since she knows they want to hire her and asks what the job is. Kai gives the pitch about how they’re looking for warriors to fight the Motherworld to protect a farming village, and that Nemesis’s reputation made him think it was something she’d be interested in. Okay, Nemesis has a reputation; Tarak also indicated that it was well known the Motherworld put a price on his head. But nobody has bothered to explain why, or what either of them did, and iif they’re supposedly famous, we’ve never heard of them before? I’m not expecting the movie to spell everything out for me here, but… can we get a little more context for who these people are or why we want them? *beat* Oh, right – we need more time for slow-motion. Carry on!



Nemesis apparently has another job she has to finish first though, as a frantic woman runs up to her begging for her help. Nemesis gently brushes past her, exchanges a long look with Kora for some reason (do they know each other? Kai was the one she was talking to!) and then steps through some curtains into a nearby building. Looking up, we can see the ceiling is full of some sort of cables; Nemesis carefully takes off her hand and slowly approaches. Kora, watching, makes sure to have her blaster ready, while Nemesis puts her hands on the hilts of her swords. A moment later, a being descends from the ceiling – an arachnid-like creature, but with a humanoid torso. Nemesis says she’s here to talk.

MG: This is Harmada (voice of Jena Malone); she’s a minor part, but definitely has one of the more interesting creature designs in the movie; though not as much as the bennu, the marketing definitely showed a fair bit of her as well.

Tahiri: Harmada, though, isn’t interested in talking and says she knows why Nemesis is really here – and that reason is apparently the human child Harmada is clutching, who she’s holding captive. Nemesis admits she’s here to demand the child be returned to her mother, but Harmada doesn’t care. She explains how Daggus is her home planet, but the pollution from the mines slowly poisoned her, and made her eggs weak and unviable. Nobody cared when Harmada’s children died… so all she feels she can do is kidnap and kill the miners’ children in retribution. Nemesis claims to know a mother’s pain herself but says that killing other people’s children won’t bring Harmada peace. And she won’t let Harmada kill the child she’s captured. Harmada understands… but won’t be swayed from her revenge. And so Harmada raises a spear and charges, while Nemesis draws her swords and defends herself.



It's a pretty awesome fight scene, as we get to see just how good Nemesis is as she matches blades with a creature much larger and stronger than she is (and with a lot more limbs!). She kind of fights like a Jedi, honestly – very fast, very acrobatic, very precise. I like it! Finally, Nemesis scores a blow that makes Harmada drop the child, then holds her at bay as she tries to grab her again. Finally, Nemesis gets knocked down and Harmada pounces on her; at this point Gunnar, watching with the rest of Our Heroes, decides he has to do something (a protagonist in this movie actually intervening to help a bystander they don’t know or want to hire– is that a first!) and dives in to grab the child and get her to safety. Good job, and I mean it!

Slow Mo, Oh No: 24

Nemesis manages to retrieve her swords, but Harmada stabs her through the wrist with one of her legs, and we see her hand start sparking – those aren’t just gauntlets she’s wearing, Nemesis is a cyborg! She manages to cut herself free and she and Harmada exchange a few more blows (we cut to Tarak watching with a very serious look on his face, for some reason). Finally, Harmada goes for Gunnar and the child again; Nemesis stabs her through the abdomen, and then takes the gloves off… uh, so to speak – as she activates something in her swords, making them glow red-hot.



MG: I saw a lot of complaints from the trailers for this about Nemesis’s swords clearly being lightsaber ripoffs, but honestly – I don’t really see it. Energy swords are hardly unique to Star Wars (albeit a lot of that is probably because of the popularity of Star Wars!) and though Nemesis, as Tahiri noted, is probably the closest thing to a Jedi in these movies, her swords aren’t even really energy swords, just physical swords she can energize. They do look cool, though (but not really like lightsabers when you actually pay attention to them).

Tahiri: *idly draws her own lightsaber hilt and examines it* Yeah, these seem more like… vibroblades with a bit extra, to me, not really much like lightsabers. Nemesis cuts Harmada’s spear out of the air, slices her abdomen open and then, after Harmada grabs her (and briefly cutting again to Tarak) she runs her through her humanoid torso. Harmada collapses, the scared mother runs to grab her child, and Our Heroes approach – Tarak compliments Nemesis on the fight, but she only sadly looks down at Harmada’s body and says this wasn’t an honorable victory. Any of them could have come to the same fate, in the name of revenge. Somber music plays as the scene ends.

MG: Overall, I think this is a much better “recruitment” scene than Tarak’s bennu riding. It’s still mostly divorced from the actual plot, but we’re given more of an explanation for what’s going on, why Nemesis needs to do this (she’s a merc, and has to finish her previous job before Our Heroes can hire her) and she gets to show off the skill she’s actually being brought on board for (unlike Tarak, whose animal handling never really comes up again). We also get a sense of Nemesis’s since of honor, some hints at her past, and the whole thing plays out as a tragedy in a way that actually works (though Snyder still can’t resist the siren call of slow motion). Unfortunately, our next recruitment scene… is easily the worst of the lot.

Tahiri: Great. We cut back to Kai’s ship, where Nemesis is stowing her stuff on board. Kora walks past her and comes upon Gunnar, who she compliments for his bravery in saving the child. He says he was just trying to help; she says it’s not so natural for some people, but he claims it is for her (uh, I think that guy show saw the Hawkshaws haul off at Providence might disagree). Gunnar says she saved Sam without hesitating (one, she did hesitate, we saw her, and two, Kora saved her friend, you saved a stranger – it’s not quite the same thing!). Kora says she believes in kindness now but didn’t always… and that means it’s more backstory time!

Exposition Intrusion: 28

Kora narrates about how her victories on the battlefield came to the attention of her adopted father, Balisarius, who pulled strings to get her assigned to the royal guard for his own reasons. We cut to younger Arthelais watching over Princess Issa, who she was assigned to, while Issa is playing in the snow with some sort of canine…



MG: It’s a dog. Just a plain, run of the mill Earth dog. I don’t know if this is meant to be a sign that the Motherworld was colonized by Earth, or is Earth in the distant future, or if it was just thrown in without trying to make it look alien. Princess Issa is played by Stella Grace Fitzgerald.



Tahiri: Well, Issa’s… dog… brings a dead bird it caught in the woods to her (for some reason, this is also in slow motion). Kora explains how Issa was named after an ancient queen who allegedly had healing powers. Everyone apparently thought it was metaphorical… but in the flashback, Arthelais watches her Issa literally bring the dead bird back to life. Present!Kora narrates some more about how she saw things like that happen several times, and it made her genuinely believe Issa was different and special. Issa and Arthelais share a smile, and we cut to the King a bit later, telling Arthelais that he believes that his daughter has a compassion he’d lost, and her reign would mark the dawn of a new age – and commending Arthelais for keeping her safe. We cut to present!Kora admitting that she really did believe Issa would save them – while Gunnar, yet again, mostly just looks really uncomfortable to have all of this dropped on him, but he finally takes Kora’s hand.

Exposition Intrusion: 30

Slow Mo, Oh No: 26

MG: And so… yeah. Literal sparkly magic Disney Princess with healing powers, smack in the middle of this dark and edgy and serious movie. Maybe it would fit better if there was even a vague explanation, but… there’s not. This isn’t a fantasy kitchen sink universe where technology and magic openly exist side by side, that we’ve seen. There’s no phenomenon like the Force or the Warp to explain the supernatural, or even psychic abilities or godlike aliens that can be given a pseudo-scientific handwave. Maybe the extended editions explain it better, but as it was, we just have a sparkly magic princess in a grimdark setting that doesn’t otherwise have magic or anything remotely like it, and I’m just sort of left scratching my head.

Tahiri: *shrugs* Back home, I’d just say she’s an untrained Force-sensitive and move on, but if the Force doesn’t exist in this universe… beats me. We cut to Kai’s ship landing outside a giant arena as Our Heroes disembark, with Kora putting on a long cloak… in slow motion. *facepalms* The captions inform us that this is the Arena of Castor, located on Pollux.

Slow Mo, Oh No: 28



MG: So, the arena is called Castor, and the moon it’s on is Pollux… I see what you did there, Snyder. Cute.

Tahiri: Everyone heads into town, listening to the sounds of the arena, and then we cut to some workers dragging a body out of the arena (leaving a bloody trail, because of course) and then Kora and Company are introduced to General Titus by a bald, blue-skinned woman. Titus himself… is filthy, lying in an alley, passed out drunk. Yay. Though we do get a genuinely funny moment – and I can count the intentional jokes in this movie on one hand – as some sort of big rodent sniffs the unconscious Titus and then runs off in disgust at his body odor. Gunnar isn’t sure if this is a good idea, but Kora is committed, so she has Gunnar and Tarak haul Titus off for a bath.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 21 (Wouldn’t it have improved the arena scene in Episode II to see bloody corpses getting dragged out of it?)

MG: General Titus is played by Djimon Hounsou, who has been in… a whole lot of genre films, honestly, mostly in supporting roles; most relevant to this particular movie, he was Korath the Pursuer in Guardians of the Galaxy, and also the Wizard in Shazam.



Tahiri: We cut to Titus in some sort of bathhouse (though it’s got rubble all over the floor, so I’m not sure how sanitary this place is…) as blue lady is hosing him down. Everyone else hangs back as Kora approaches and tells blue lady she’s done enough. She confirms that Titus is, in fact, the General Titus, but he just wants to be left alone. He demands to know what Kora wants from him; he still blames himself for the deaths of his troops and just wants to die in the arena. Kora says she’s here to give him a chance at redemption. She has no time for Titus’s self-pity – if he’s not interested in redemption, she offers him revenge. And – as we once again inexplicably cut to Tarak watching very seriously – Titus’s resolve firms up, and he dramatically rises to his feet… and that’s it. The scene ends there. Literally all it took was for Kora to say the word “revenge” and Titus literally went from “let me die in peace!” to “I will fight for you!” in about five nanoseconds. Wow. That was… that was just way too easy.

Exposition Intrusion: 31 (for Kora having to remind Titus of his own backstory)

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 20 (seems to be the best place to mark how amazingly easy Titus is to convince)

When You’re Evil: 31 (the Motherworld killed Titus’s men after they surrendered)

MG: Agreed. And that’s why this is the worst of the “recruitment vignettes” – because literally all it takes is for Kora to ask Titus really hard for him to do a complete 180 in a scene that’s less than two minutes long. Even though the guy’s hiding out in a gladiator arena, we don’t even get to see him fight! Surely, we could have benefitted from seeing the old warrior in action, so we know he’s still got it – or seeing some of the tactical and leadership ability he had as a general? But nope, he’s just immediately persuaded, and we can be on our way! Especially bad because, frankly, Hounsou can act the pants off of most of the rest of the cast given the opportunity, and there’s indication in interviews and such that he really loved the character and put a lot of work into his backstory, culture and mindset… and very little of it ended up on screen (though Part II does him much better than Part I). It’s just… such a waste.

Tahiri: Well, we clearly needed more time with the bad guys, because we cut to the Hawkshaws’ ship approaching the King’s Gaze. They dock, and the Hawkshaws come marching out, accompanied by their weird spine droid, still holding their captive informant; they’re met by Cassius and Admiral Noble…

MG: Who, inexplicably, is now wearing a perfectly mundane white dress shirt, slacks, and a necktie. It makes him look less like a terrifying officer of an evil interstellar empire, and more like some obnoxious guy you know at your office. Not intimidating.



Tahiri: *shrugs* It looks weird to me, but it’s not my galaxy and not my fashion. Noble agrees to let the informant go if he spills the information on the Bloodaxes, and the informant tells us what we already know – they’re on Sharaan, under the protection of King Levitica. Which is what Gunnar already knew, so why did he need this guy again? Meanwhile, Cassius pulls some sort of nasty looking device out of a compartment in the droid’s base. Noble thanks the informant for his help, then takes the device from Cassius and inserts it into base of the informant’s neck. He promises him that he’s now free and pulls the trigger, sending a spike shooting into the guy’s brainstem, killing him. *she shudders* Yeesh. It seems like Noble has only two ways of killing people – low tech and brutal (the cane) or high tech and brutal (this). Has he really never just heard of… shooting people? The droid lets the body flop to the floor; Noble tells Cassius to have his brain dissected to see if they can learn any more (you could have just… kept him alive until after you’d checked to see if his information was good, but I guess that’s not evil enough) and says they’re going to have a meeting with King Levitica. Cassius says he’ll set a course for Sharaan, as Noble stalks off and that ominous wall of music swells up again.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 22 (more squicky methods of execution)

When You’re Evil: 32



We then cut to Kai’s ship flying over a cityscape at night; this is another environment that’s kind of pretty and a bit eerie, at least? Especially when we see that there’s actually what looks like a sun in permanent eclipse hanging over it. Some text pops up to tell us that this is Sharaan as the ship sets down on the edge of the city near some floating monoliths, and a moment later we cut to Our Heroes as they’re approached by the king himself, who looks a bit like a Quarren, but with a somewhat more humanlike face.



MG: King Levitica is voiced by Tony Amendola, and he’s definitely one of the more striking alien designs in the movie; the main cast is very human-heavy (aside from Jimmy) and a lot of the aliens in the bar in Providence were just kind of creepy or gross, and the Hawkshaws are pretty generic Space Orcs, but I think Levitica looks pretty good and memorable. Weirdly, he’s the only one who looks like that; all his guards are much more humanoid. Not sure if he looks like that because he’s from some sort of royal caste and they’re not, if he’s older than the guards, if he’s a different species from the guards, or the effects team only had the budget for one of him and had to make do.



Tahiri: Levitica apologizes to Kora for making her wait; he says that he’s gotten in contact with Devra Bloodaxe, and now the rebels are deciding whether to meet with them. Kora bows to Levitica and thanks him in his own language, which I guess she speaks? I bet there’s a story there… She pulls her hood up and walks back to the ship, where we see Tarak, Nemesis and Titus waiting… and then it turns out the rebels must have made that decision to meet with them really quickly, as a whole fleet of what mostly looks like fighters and some gunships comes flying over the city and lands around them. The hatch of the largest ship opens, and a heavily armed man and woman come marching out. The Bloodaxes, I presume?

MG: Yep, this is indeed Devra (Cleopatra Coleman) and Darrian (Ray Fisher) Bloodaxe. Now, Fisher rather famously also played Cyborg in Justice League… and he was very vocal about the shabby treatment he felt he received from Joss Whedon and the DC execs and his support for Snyder and was reportedly very happy to have the chance to work with Snyder again on this movie. Unfortunately, well… at least in the original cut, I’m not really sure he got a better deal here.

Tahiri: That’s not ominous or anything… Gunnar waves awkwardly as the Bloodaxes approach, their forces (all of whom seem to be wearing warpaint and a lot of them have shaved heads, I guess so we all know that this is a serious revolution) disembarking and gathering behind them. Darrian recognizes Gunnar and wants to know why he contacted them from “this unknown and flagless vessel” (I think he’s annoyed it doesn’t have a name, too!); Gunnar hoped they trusted him by now, but Devra points out that they had a business deal to buy grain, nothing more. Devra says that they put both the rebels and King Levitica at risk by coming here, but with the king’s patronage they don’t need to buy from Veldt anymore (which kind of makes it all the weirder that Veldt is apparently Noble’s only real option for supply, if a backwater planet like Sharaan can easily supply a whole rebel fleet like that…) and advises everyone to leave.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 23 (these are edgy rebels, guys!)

We Love Wheat: 13

Kora says they’re not here to sell grain – Gunnar’s village is being threatened by a Motherworld dreadnaught, and they’re looking for warriors to help fight it. Darrian doesn’t think the people they’ve recruited so far will be much use against a warship, and Kora points out that’s why they want to recruit the Bloodaxes and their people, too. Gunnar promises to pay them with their surplus harvest (which Devra just said they don’t need…) but Devra thinks that’s a suicide mission. The King’s Gaze is a planet killer, and her fleet isn’t powerful enough to take it head on. I’m still wondering why the Motherworld didn’t send a fleet – one ship, no matter how powerful it is, can’t exactly be in more than one place at once! Kora is outraged and starts ranting about how Gunnar isn’t a revolutionary – he’s just a farmer, and his people helped feed the rebels, and now when they need help against Noble – who is here to hunt the Bloodaxes - the rebels won’t give it to them. When she’s done, Darrian walks over to Gunnar, sizes him up for a while, and then finally says he at least will go.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 21 (this still seems like a bad job for just one ship)

We Love Wheat: 14

Devra pulls her brother aside, pointing out again that they don’t have the strength to fight the King’s Gaze directly; Darrian tells her that if Kora and Gunnar could find them, Noble can too, and Darrian doesn’t want a planet to fall because of them. Devra wonders about their soldiers, so Darrian decides to leave the choice to them. He launches into a speech about how Our Heroes came to them to help in fighting the Motherworld, which is what the rebels stand for, and in fact they’re in the same position most of the rebels were before they joined the fight. If the rebellion is to mean anything, these are the sorts of people they have to stand up for, and he invites anyone who wishes to come fight with them. We have a long moment where a bunch of the rebels look at each other awkwardly, and then one young fighter steps out from the crowd, promising to make sure that Darrian comes back alive.



MG: This is Milius (Elise Duffy); they’re the nonbinary character I mentioned earlier (IIRC, their actor is nonbinary IRL as well). I do honestly appreciate Snyder for including the character, and Milius is never anything but straightforwardly heroic (though they get a lot more to do in Part II than Part I); unfortunately, I still can’t help but feel that the inclusion of a nonbinary person among our band of heroic warriors gets rather overshadowed by the really gross and uncomfortable stereotype of the predatory gay alien earlier in the movie (especially since, at least in the original cut, Milius’s nonbinary-ness doesn’t even get explicitly mentioned, whereas the gross alien being gay is presented with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer). At bare minimum, Snyder is sending some very mixed messages.

Tahiri: Several more rebel fighters step up to join Darrian and Milius; Darrian hugs his sister, bids her farewell and advises her to leave Sharaan as soon as she can. Tarak, watching, leans over to Titus and tells him he thinks this might not be a suicide mission after all. We then cut to space, where we see Kai’s ship now surrounded by a squadron of rebel fighters. Inside, Kora passes Titus in the hold and climbs up into the cockpit, where Kai is waiting. Kai wonders why Darrian agreed to help them; he thinks it seems a bit shortsighted. He doesn’t know what the rebels hope to accomplish, other than getting killed by the King’s Gaze. Kora thinks hope and guilt are both powerful motivators (speaking as someone who’s been there… I agree); Kai thinks guilt is the dark side of honor but admits that there was a time he had honor too. He wonders how long he has before he dies a bad death somewhere and accuses Kora of making him want to be an honorable man again, though he can’t imagine what sort of resistance would let a man like him join. I mean, I grew up on stories of the Rebel Alliance, and a good half of its heroes were smugglers, pirates, and all-around scoundrels, so… it’s more likely than you think?



Kora is surprised Kai is willing to fight with them; he says he will, if they’re desperate enough to have him. Still, he’s got one last bit of business to take care of before he can go straight – some shady cargo to drop off for people who apparently don’t like to wait. Then he can go straight. Kora agrees, and Kai heads off to lay in a course, complaining to himself about being one of the good guys now. And… is it just me, or am I having a hard time buying that Kai’s bonded with these people enough to have a complete change of heart? He’s only had a couple of conversations with them that we’ve seen, and almost all they talked about was business! They’ve not even really been through anything that exciting together, either. *shrugs* Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 22 (Kai isn’t exactly being subtle that he’s hiding something…)



And then we cut to King Levitica as he’s forced to his knees, his city burning behind him. He begs for mercy, saying he has nothing more to tell; we then cut to see he’s facing Admiral Noble, flanked by his priests, who seems to think Levitica has said quite enough, admitting that he took in the enemies of the Motherworld out of charity. Levitica insists that his culture is built on honor and charity; Noble points out the King’s Gaze hovering overhead, saying that it was named in honor of the Slain King, so he understands honor (yes, the Yuuzhan Vong understand honor, too – you can do lots of terrible things in the name of honor!). But charity… Noble says that the king took in an off-worlder and died because of that charity. Noble’s ship was named in memory of that event, and a reminder of the cost of charity. So, Noble is ranting about how terrible charity of all things is… I’m starting to think this man might be evil! Just a hunch! But he also says that the ship’s name is a sign that if its gaze falls on you, it will change your life… forever. And now it’s fallen on Levitica. And we get a loving slow motion shot as Noble raises his cane and bashes Levitica’s head in with it. Eesh.

Exposition Intrusion: 32 (for Noble’s big speech)

Slow Mo, Oh No: 29

When You’re Evil: 34 (one point for killing Levitica, one point for the “charity” speech)

MG: Just wanting to say, the scene is clearly supposed to be horrifying, but… in the slow motion, it really looks like Noble is swinging his cane like it’s a golf club. Which kind of detracts from the intended menace. Fore!

Tahiri: *baffled* What is a golf club? Oh, never mind, if it’s important, I’ll figure it out. The King’s Gaze gets the go ahead to start bombarding the city; as Noble and the priests board their shuttle, Cassius informs them that the Hawkshaws have located the Bloodaxes. Noble is pleased; he decides to oversee the capture himself, and leaves Cassius to finish wrapping things up on Sharaan. After some more loving shots of the giant slow-motion explosions in the city, Noble tells Cassius to rendezvous with him after he’s done, to destroy the rest of the rebels’ forces.

Slow-Mo, Oh No: 31

When You’re Evil: 35



MG: Oh, and as the King’s Gaze bombards Sharaan, the blasts produce what are pretty clearly mushroom clouds. Because this movie is about as subtle as a blunt axe to the face.



Tahiri: We then cut to Our Heroes (and friends!) zooming over a stormy ocean and arriving at a floating platform which we’re informed is an unlicensed trade post on the planet Gondival. Kai lands his ship and tells some rebels gathered in the hold, including Kora and Milius, to start unloading them, warning them not to look inside. Which isn’t suspicious at all. Kai then runs outside and talks to a guy who looks like he’s the same species as the Hawkshaws, who tells him where to put the crates. Kai then brushes past Kora, telling her he’ll be happy to leave this life behind, and everyone gets busy unloading crates. Several of the rebel fighters also land, and Darrian calls out for them to keep watch and get some fuel while they’re here.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 23 (for everyone still ignoring Kai being shady)

We then cut to Kora as the Hawkshaw-looking guy brushes past her; she takes a long look at him, seeming to recognize him, as he goes over to talk to Kai. Then the Hawkshaw takes out his comm and starts whispering instructions into it, and Kora finally realizes that something is wrong. Too late, as someone starts shooting the rebel fighters down, and then slowly the culprit, a Motherworld gunship, emerges from behind the rocky pillar the trading post is attached to. It’s a trap! Ahem. I always wanted to say that. *she grins* Darrian watches in horror as his fighters are destroyed, and then Gunnar and Kora are taken by surprise as the crates burst open, revealing more of the Hawkshaws’ spine droids. Kora, Darrian, Titus and Nemesis all get grabbed; Milius levels their gun at the Hawkshaws but gets overpowered, while Kai just stands there, completely unconcerned (and nobody bothers to do anything about Gunnar). Finally, Kai strolls over to Gunnar and tells him to get on his knees. Kai was a traitor all along! *beat* Surprising nobody, considering how insincere his change of heart seemed to be… except for all the characters in the movie, for some reason.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 25 (even when Kora realizes something is wrong, she still does nothing about it until Kai springs his trap!)

Slow Mo, Oh No: 32

MG: So, Kai is clearly meant as a subversion of Han Solo – the charming, amoral rogue who, instead of defaulting to the heroes’ side, ends up betraying them when given the chance instead. Except… Star Wars already did that exact plot point, fairly recently, with DJ in The Last Jedi. Just like Star Wars has already done Seven Samurai in space multiple times. It just feels like another example of Rebel Moon trying to be clever, innovative or subversive, but just feeling stale instead. Not helping is that, as Tahiri already pointed out, the movie never really makes it seem like Kai bonded with everyone else, so his betrayal doesn’t sting nearly as much as it should. Also, Hunnam plays Kai with a heavy Irish accent. I don’t know if that was his idea or Snyder’s, but it does leave us with a scenario where the space!Irish guy is a corrupt petty crook who sells the heroes out at the first opportunity (and is the only member of their team to betray them). I have no idea if Snyder thought that through or not… but it felt worth noting.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 24 (Not!Han Solo turns out to be a bad guy!)



Tahiri: Kora asks Kai when he decided to betray them, and he admits it was as soon as he heard her talking about General Titus in the bar on Providence. *facepalm* See, this is what blabbing about your plans in front of everyone gets you! He thought he could use her to round up some people with prices on their heads. He gives us a rundown on Tarak (who got captured too, though I don’t think we saw that happen on-screen) who wants revenge for his conquered planet; Nemesis, who wants revenge for her dead family; and Titus, who apparently needs no introduction. And, why are we learning all this about these people now, with the movie almost over? In fact, ever since each of them got their big recruitment scene, the only things they’ve done have been to stand around silently behind Kora in growing crowd, with us occasionally getting to see their expressions. Anyway, Kai thought he could make a lot of money by turning them all in, especially Titus; while he’s explaining this, the gunship lands and Admiral Noble disembarks, followed by several priests and a squad of soldiers.

Exposition Intrusion: 34

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 26

Finally, Kai admits he knows who Kora is – Arthelais. He seems to think he’d get a bigger bounty for her than anyone else. Kai then describes how the Motherworld slowly slaughtered everyone on his home planet by incinerating them all from low orbit. And, okay, once again am I the only one starting to really get the feeling that the Motherworld, which is supposedly conquering the galaxy to get resources… really just seems to like committing genocide on random planets, with looting and conquest being decidedly secondary? Kai offers no explanation for how he survived this, by the way, though the way he talks about it implies he witnessed it. He claims he learned from this to never be on the wrong side of history. As for Kora… her side won’t even make it into history at all. She demands to know what happened to his honor; when Kai doesn’t respond, she just calls him a “piece of shit.” He blows a kiss at her, and then goes over to talk to Noble.

Exposition Intrusion: 35 (for Kai explaining Kora’s own backstory to her)

When You’re Evil: 36

Noble then goes through all the prisoners himself, mostly just recapping what Kai already said, and why do we need to do this twice? First, he greets Darrian, claiming that capturing him alone will get him a seat in the Senate. Huh; are Motherworld senators elected or appointed? Probably not hereditary? Inquiring minds want to know! *beat* It’s probably something really edgy like winning a head-bashing contest, isn’t it?

MG: It does occur to me that if the Motherworld were really committed to the whole “Space Romans” bit, then to be given a military command as important and prestigious as his seems to be, Noble would have almost certainly had to already be in the Senate.

Tahiri: Well, we do learn that apparently Tarak is a prince on his home planet (of course he is…), that Nemesis assassinated sixteen high-ranking Motherworld officials and their entourages on her quest to avenge her family (gods, no wonder they put a price on her head!), and that Noble is genuinely baffled as to what Gunnar is even doing here. Finally, he comes to Kora. He studies her blaster, clearly recognizes it as a royal guard’s weapon, and comments on how he thought she looked familiar when he saw her on Veldt – and now he knows who she is. Arthelais – the Scargiver. Oooh, that’s the title for the second movie, isn’t it! Is Noble actually going to bother explaining that, or is he going to keep us in suspense? He thanks her for assembling everyone for him to capture, and how once he presents all their bodies to the Regent, he’ll be honored as a hero of the Realm. He thinks people will even write songs about him. Whoa, buddy – don’t get ahead of yourself, there! I mean, I guess in my galaxy some people write songs about Grand Moff Tarkin, but those are mostly composed of curse words.

Exposition Intrusion: 40 (for Noble basically just repeating what Kai did, with more detail)

We Love Wheat: 15 (Noble explicitly mentions the rebels would have been paid in grain)

Kai snarks that he did most of the work, which annoys Noble enough to want to get things moving (and not breaking Kai’s skull with his cane for talking back to him? He’s going soft on us!). Kai wants to transport everyone paralyzed and tells Gunnar he has a job for him. He pulls out a device like the one Noble used to kill the informant out of the spine droid holding Kora, and tells Gunnar to use it on her, and he might get out of this alive. Gunnar is understandably disgusted, but Kai is insistent that he’ll do it. As Gunnar inserts the device, Kai taunts him for being in love with her. Gunnar tells Kora he’s sorry – and then twists the device backwards, which instead of stabbing Kora’s brain, causes the spine droid to let her go. *beat* Okay. Let’s get this straight. Kai knows Gunnar is sweet on Kora. He has a device to paralyze her; instead of using it himself, he gives it to Gunnar, taunting him all the while. Why in the galaxy would he ever think Gunnar would go through with it, especially when the same device turns out to be the key to release Kora? Why would you make those the same device, anyway? Why is this so stupid? Especially when Gunnar then whirls around and stabs Kai through the chin and up into his brain with the device’s spike, killing him. Well, I can’t say he didn’t get what was coming to him!

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 30 (Kai, why on earth did you think any of that was a good idea?)

When You’re Evil: 37



Kora tackles a soldier and grabs a gun. Noble and his men start shooting at her, but she dodges – in slow motion, of course- and frees the rebels. The whole thing devolves into a chaotic firefight as Kora kills the priests and then shoots something that causes a big explosion and forces the Motherworld troops back, while Gunnar frees the others. Nemesis kills some Hawkshaws, while Darrian grabs a gun from a Motherworld soldier and orders his people to their fighters. Noble grabs his cane and gets back to his feet (with ominous music playing, and, I mean, sure, he’s proven he can kill people with it, but… it’s a stick of wood. In the middle of a blaster fight. I don’t think it’s going to help him much.). Noble gestures for the gunship, and it shoots down all the rebel fighters before they can get airborne.

Slow Mo, Oh No: 34



Darrian watches in horror, then looks up at the gunship and seems to get an idea, as he pulls an long spar of sharp metal out of the side of a soldier who got impaled on it (of course that’s where he got it…) while Gunnar and Tarak exchange fire with Noble’s troopers and Nemesis engages them in melee. Darrian then starts fighting his way towards the ship, cut with shots of Titus shooting. He manages to climb up a ladder and then, as Milius watches in horror, dives towards the ship. In slow motion, because of course he does. Using his makeshift spear, he manages to stab through the cockpit; the pilot shoots him, but Darrian manages to stab him and then, in obvious pain, he slams down hard on the controls. Milius cries out in horror and starts shooting wildly, but the gunship starts to fall from the sky. Darrian is dying, but his sacrifice turned the course of the battle. And… yeah. Darrian is dying. The movie seems to think we should be really sad about that, from how everything is framed, but… I’ve known him for less than twenty minutes? And he was barely in most of that? I feel kind of bad about it, because I know what it’s like to lose a friend in battle, but… I just don’t feel anything about this?

Slow Mo, Oh No: 36



MG: So… yeah. This is kind of why I feel like Fisher still got the short end of the stick, because his part ended up being tiny, and his character’s main role was to die to show how serious things are and make everyone else sad. In Part II, he has another brief scene in a flashback. And that’s it. Maybe in the extended editions he had more to do, but in the original cut… this is it. Really.



Tahiri: Oof. So, we cut to Noble watching his ship fall, taking some of the trading post with it, and then he and Kora spot each other and she charges at him in a rage. She blasts her way through his troops, dodges some debris from the falling ship, and then half the platform collapses outright. Noble goes careening off the edge but manages to land on some sort of buoy hovering below. Noble wanders around for a bit, looking over the edges, and then Kora drops down behind him. They exchange blows for a bit, her unarmed, him with his cane, until finally she goes over the edge, clutching a rope for dear life. Noble glares menacingly down at her, but Kora manages to get part of the rope free and whips it up, tangling it around his legs and tripping him. She climbs back up and has clearly gotten a second wind, and now uses the rope as her weapon; finally, she manages to tangle Noble’s cane against the metal poles and snap it. Yay! Can’t see I’m sad to see that thing go. She then punches him in the crotch, hard, and proceeds to beat the absolute kriff out of him, including stabbing him in the leg with a shard of his own cane. Kora keeps waling on him, forcing him to the edge of the buoy, then stabs him through the gut with a different part of his cane. Noble, looking and sounding delirious, happily declares this to be “perfect” (did you just always dream about being brutally beaten to death by a wanted criminal? Weird) and in response Kora whacks him in the face so hard that his teeth go flying… in glorious slow motion. *facepalms*That does it, and Noble plunges over the side of the buoy, to his doom.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 26 (didn’t you think Star Wars would’ve been better if Tarkin was a masochistic combat junky? And we had more teeth-punching scenes?)

Slow Mo, Oh No: 39





All in all… not a bad fight. Could’ve used more lightsabers. The last bit, where Kora just brutally beats on Noble for a while and it’s clear there’s no way he can win this, is a bit overlong, but I can’t say he didn’t have it coming. And, uh, we really didn’t need the slow motion shot of the bloody teeth bouncing. Could’ve lived a long, happy life without that. We cut to Milius, the only rebel fighter to survive the battle, as they look down over the wreckage of their comrades’ ships. Tarak approaches and says that the rebels sacrificed themselves for them, Milius corrects him that they did it for the cause. Milius thinks they should have died too, but Tarak tells them that the best way to live with the guilt is to live and honor what the rebels stood for. Tarak then lassos the buoy and he and Gunnar start hauling it – and Kora – in, as Titus walks up. The old general explains that they hurt the Motherworld today – a group of nobodies stood up to a warship and won. This could be the beginning of something more (this is kind of rich coming from Titus, who has thus far contributed almost nothing to this fight, or the movie, himself!). Nemesis asks what happens now; Kora explains that standard procedure for the death of an Imperium admiral is for their forces to return home for reassignment, so that’s what the King’s Gaze will do. The threat is ended. And, uh… does the Motherworld not have a chain of command? The Galactic Empire did! The kriffing Yuuzhan Vong did! Just because Noble’s dead doesn’t mean his mission is over! This just seems like the sort of policy that will encourage your enemies to go for decapitation strikes, if they know killing the ranking officer will automatically remove the entire force from play! Anyway, Kora promises her team they’ll still get paid, and that payment waits on Veldt.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 33

We Love Wheat: 16



MG: And let’s just be very clear here – this is a two-part movie, and the two parts are very much halves of one whole. Kora is wrong – the threat is not over. Kora, having once been a ranking officer herself and the adopted daughter of an ambitious general-turned-senator-now-regent, ought to know why. We have confirmation next movie that Titus, who was himself a Motherworld general, absolutely knows why. Let’s just say there is absolutely no reason for someone not to fly Kora down to Noble’s body to shoot it through the head a few times and dump what’s left into the sea just to be on the safe side, beyond plot convenience.



Tahiri: …I knew this was too easy. Tarak gives Gunnar a big slap on the back, thanking him and admitting he never did trust Kai (…but he took you by surprise as much as anyone…) and Kora says they all owe Gunnar. Music swells heroically as we pull back from the view of our intrepid heroes – Kora, Gunnar, Tarak, Nemesis, Titus, and Milius – standing together on the end of the platform, and then we cut to Kai’s ship landing back at Providence, and then everyone riding across the plains towards the Nameless Farming Village. Titus asks Kora if she’s really Arthelais; she says Kai was a liar, but doesn’t specify that he was lying about this, and Titus is clearly unconvinced. Gunnar interrupts by pointing out the village up ahead, calling it home. Kora admits she’s never had a real home before; Tarak thinks it’s almost a shame Noble’s dead and they won’t have to fight. *winces* Where I come from, we call that tempting fate. Tarak calls it a beautiful place to die – and that, friend, sounds exactly like something a Yuuzhan Vong warrior might say. Kora agrees… and then the camera pulls back as dramatic music plays, while we see Jimmy – who we’ve not seen in over an hour of real time, and we last saw running off after shooting a guy, mind you – standing in the middle of a field like some sort of scarecrow, now wearing a cloak and a big ol’ pair of antlers. *beat* No, I don’t know why. No, I don’t know what he’s doing. He just stands there in the middle of the field in all his antlered glory, silently watching over everyone. Maybe he’s gone into business as a new harvest god. *beat* Hope he likes orgies.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 34

We Love Wheat: 18



We cut back to Gondival, where the King’s Gaze is now in orbit and a gunship descends to collect Noble’s body, lying broken on a rocky outcropping. It’s brought on board the ship into some sort of medical bay, where a group of figures in masks and red robes are waiting; their leader gives the order to ready Noble for “transmission,” since Balisarius is waiting for him.



MG: I will say, when I first saw this movie, I thought these guys were more of the priests – they wear red robes and masks, they work for the Motherworld, they’re involved in weird mystical stuff. But no, these guys are just doctors; look closely, and it’s obvious the designs of their robes and masks are different. I’m still a bit disappointed; at least it would have been a reason for the priests to be in the movie, if it was them!



Tahiri: One of the doctors wonders if they should stabilize Noble first, but the leader doesn’t want to keep the Regent waiting. Some of them peel back some of Noble’s skin – ew – to reveal what look like cybernetic ports installed in his body. They plug him in, then place his body – naked, for some reason – onto a platform. The cables start glowing blue and red as Noble is lowered into a pool and the doctors say the signal is strong. Noble is lifted out of the pool, with the water… coming with him, in a big bubble, for some reason? – and the head doctor gives the order to send him through as energy crackles around him.

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 27 (for gross cyborg implants)



We suddenly cut to Noble waking up in what I guess is some sort of virtual environment; it’s appropriately eerie, as he’s standing on a frozen lake on what I guess is meant to be a recreation of the Motherworld, with a city in the distance and a robed man – Balisarius, I presume – standing with his back to him. Noble walks forward – we can see giant creatures swimming beneath the ice, in a nice touch – and then Balisarius stabs the ice with his cane (what is it with these people and canes?) sending bolts of energy shooting across the lake. Noble greets Balisarius as “Master” – what are these people, Sith? – and announces that he has found Arthelais, the Scargiver. We cut to where we can see Balisarius’s face; since we saw him in the flashbacks, he’s grown pretty impressive beard. Kind of distractingly impressive, honestly. He asks if Noble is sure. Noble says he is, and that Arthelais is with General Titus; he’ll capture them both soon.



MG: This is the first time we’ve heard Balisarius speak, by the way (he’s been silent in the flashbacks so far). Fra Fee gives him a surprisingly soft, high voice. I can see what he’s going for here – making the evil overlord menacing in a softspoken way can serve as a nice contrast to the stereotypical deep-voiced tyrant or high pitched, screechy ranter. But I don’t think Fee quite hits the mark, making Balisarius sound rather weak and unassuming. Maybe if we got to spend more time with the character (Balisarius has only two speaking scenes in the original cuts of the duology, and this is one of them) it would work better; as it is, I’m not quite buying it. He sure looks the part of the evil dictator, though; with the beard, he looks a bit like Starcraft’s Arcturus Mengsk.

Tahiri: Well, Balisarius is not happy to hear that his daughter, one of the most decorated soldiers in the Motherworld’s history, is now part of a rebellion, together with a great general like Titus. Noble protests that she is in their grasp, at which point Balisarius stabs the ice with his cane again (oh, I get it – Noble’s on thin ice, see?) and says Noble is the one in danger here (I guess we’re just supposed to assume at this point that he’s not permanently dead?). Balisarius gives his orders – he wants the rebellion crushed, and Kora brought to him alive, so that he can crucify her in front of the Senate (yikes, I don’t think even Palpatine usually did that!). If Noble can’t do that, then the person whose execution will terrify the senators and whose screams will echo in the Senate… will be Noble himself.

When You’re Evil: 39

MG: I do wonder if this is meant to be a reference to how Lucius Cornelius Sulla supposedly had his legions executing prisoners of war in earshot of the Roman Senate on the day the Senate was convened to vote on making him dictator (since Sulla was made dictator, the Senate seems to have taken the hint). Of course, Balisarius already seems to have been voted supreme dictatorial powers as Regent, so it’s not quite the same thing…



Tahiri: Regardless of why, Balisarius stabs the ice with his cane again; this time it shatters, and Noble falls through – in slow motion, one last time – and back on the King’s Gaze his body falls out of his bubble and back into the pool. Which sparks with big flashes of lightning, for some reason. The doctors note they’re not getting any vital signs from him, so they hit him with a massive charge of energy. At which point Noble sits bolt upright, and the last shot of the movie is a close-up of his wild-eyed face as he howls at the top of his lungs right at us. So… I guess the Motherworld can just raise the dead, then. Even if they can only do it on the recently dead – and presumably only on officers who have implants like Noble’s – that’s still a hell of a thing to just drop on us like that, movie! And then that same ominous music we keep hearing blares one last time, as END PART ONE appears on the screen. And I guess that’s that, then. Until next time!

Slow Mo, Oh No: 40

MG: Until next time, indeed! Now, I have to say, part of me wonders if the entire fight on Gondival and Noble’s death and resurrection wasn’t included at the last minute when it was decided to split the movie, because Snyder thought the first half needed a climax. Because otherwise, I don’t think it makes a lot of narrative sense. Like Tahiri said, “the Motherworld can resurrect the dead” is a hell of a thing to just toss in as a random aside (and as I said earlier, I really think Kora should know they can do this, we’ll be explicitly shown in Part II that Titus does know they can do this, and so someone really should have taken the five minutes to destroy Noble’s body to stop them) and our heroine having a rematch in the second movie with the same villain she already beat and killed at the end of the first movie isn’t all that thrilling.

I’m not going to give really detailed final thoughts here – like I’ve said, Rebel Moon is really one big story in two parts, so I’ll save that for the second half. But I’ll toss out some general reactions. It’s not all bad. Some of the music is solid (though some of it is really serious and dramatic). None of the acting jobs are particularly great, but none stand out as especially bad, either. While the CGI is really obvious in places, considering the movie was made for streaming rather than the big screen, the effects still look solid by that standard. The basic story is a perfectly serviceable, if not terribly original, space opera plotline.

On the other hand… the washed out colors in every scene make the movie look dingy and dreary, and the fact that a lot of the locations look dirty or decaying goes past the “used future” of Star Wars and just becomes gross and unappealing. The dialogue doesn’t have any real standout stinkers (like Anakin Skywalker’s sand speech or Jupiter’s “I’ve always loved dogs!”) but it’s very self-serious bordering on pretentious, and Kora’s angsty monologues about her past stand out as especially awkward. While something I did appreciate about Jupiter Ascending, despite that movie’s own many flaws, was its sincerity and earnestness that a lot of modern blockbusters lack, Rebel Moon goes beyond that and is just outright dour, with hardly any levity or wonder at all (I think Villeneuve’s Dune movies have more laughs, and those movies are very serious – and Dune actually has things to say, while Rebel Moon’s themes don’t go much beyond a surface level “fascism and imperialism are bad”). Snyder’s take on making something “for grown-ups” mostly involves slathering on a lot of over-the-top violence, explicit sexual references, and references to sexual violence, most of which feel gratuitous or cringy more than mature. There are weird holes in the plot and worldbuilding (at least some of which, admittedly, are probably because this is a heavily pared-down cut of the movie; the director’s preferred version is roughly an hour longer), and the self-serious tone if anything exacerbates them – things I might not think about too seriously in something like Guardians of the Galaxy or even Star Wars (like the Magic Space Princess) feel much more glaringly out of place here. The characters are mostly very underbaked, having little time to actually do much (Jimmy and Titus are particularly poorly served, especially glaring since they have probably the two best actors in the cast; they’ll both, Titus especially, have more to do in Part II). The plot feels weirdly disjointed; the pacing is off, with the early Veldt scenes being sluggish (and the movie’s almost halfway over by the time we even leave Veldt), and then the recruiting scenes in the second half shooting by too fast. A lot of the plot also feels weirdly like it’s aping Mass Effect 2 in its structure, with a lot of it given over to recruiting new teammates, except with a lot less of a chance to actually get to know them and care about them (here, each character gets basically one scene to show who they are and what they can do, and after that just gets to exist in group shots and have an occasional line of dialogue – Titus doesn’t even get that much). We have several scenes – the bennu ride comes to mind – that are effective in a vacuum, but just sort of baffling in the broader context of the movie. And slow motion is massively overused, to the point that it makes a lot of the action scenes feel tedious rather than exciting, the opposite of what it should be doing.

Anyway, that’s all for Rebel Moon Part I: A Child of Fire! No, I don’t know why it’s called that. I guess the titular “Child of Fire” is Kora… but the movie repeatedly calls her a child of war, not of fire. *shrugs* Probably Snyder just thought it sounded cool. I’d like to give a big thank you for everyone who stuck with me on this one, and I hope you enjoyed this holiday gift! If you did, join me again in a few weeks for Rebel Moon Part II: The Scargiver; we’ll see you then! For the time being, our counts stand at:

Exposition Intrusion: 40

Not Your Daddy’s Galaxy: 29

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 34

Slow Mo, Oh No: 40

We Love Wheat: 18

When You’re Evil: 39

Comments

[kalaong]

Years ago, I saw a Youtube review that describes Zack Snyder's greatest strength and greatest weakness; he tends to focus on super-cinematic "moments" that are admittedly AWESOME - but his ability to actually tells a story building up to said moments is... Yeah. It's why his best works are adaptations of stories written by others.

[masterghandalf]

Agreed. There's definitely some good elements of this movie, but they fail to cohere into anything that's actually compelling as a whole.

I also wanted to say that I have been seeing all your recent comments on my various Embers posts, and that I appreciate them and enjoy reading your thoughts!

[kalaong]

The climactic lightsaber duel on the crashing star destroyer in The Scargiver is utterly fantastic. I have it saved to my laptop just so I can watch it whenever I want.

The gigantic catch is that for the life of me I couldn't tell you the names of any of the characters.

Hope you get around to the third part of the Embers review!