Fellowship of the King Chapter Nine: Corruption, Part One

[masterghandalf]

This is a repost from Das_sporking2. Previous installments of this sporking may be found here.

Warning: This chapter contains discussion of violence, death, torture, and mind rape.



MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Demetrious Polychron’s Fellowship of the King! And, fair warning, these next two chapters we’re about to embark on… when I was reading this fic for the first time to see just what Polychron kicked up such a fuss about, these were the chapters where I felt the fic went from “this is bad” to “I absolutely have to spork this.” We’ve been going off the rails for a while now… but here’s where the train abandons the tracks entirely and goes shooting over the canyon in dramatic slow motion before crashing to fiery ruin far below. Last time, we saw the Prancing Pony destroyed in a wizard fight (that Alatar apparently started…) multiple competing villain factions all attacked Bree at once, the Mayor of Bree turned out to be a lecherous creep, Sam and Rosie showed up and Sam got treated as being in the wrong for being arguably the only rational adult in the room, Eldarion was a classist snob, and it turned out Manus Tarqus brought a whole caravan of mumakil with him from Harad… and apparently somehow nobody noticed? Whew! And all of that pales compared to today, for today… we’re getting evil!Glorfindel’s backstory. Or at least, the first part of it.

Because of the subject matter, I ended up deciding to bring in a new guest sporker for these next three posts (and we may end up seeing more from her after that; at this point, I’m undecided), someone who has personal experience with corruption and redemption. This sparker is not an OC of mine, but one of the companions from the Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous CRPG. So, everyone kindly extend a warm welcome for… Arueshalae!



*a young woman of haunting, inhuman beauty materializes in the sporking chamber. If her dark blue hair and red eyes didn’t give away her non-human nature, her tail, horns, and the pair of leathery wings folded over her back definitely would. Her expression is earnest, but something about her overall demeanor conveys an underlying sorrow… and yet also somehow contentment as well*

Arueshalae: *waves hesitantly* Hello, everyone! I think MG wants me to introduce myself, so… my name is Arueshalae, and as you might have guessed, I am a succubus. Or, maybe it would be easier to say I was a succubus… in Desna’s name, this is sometimes more complicated than I thought it would be… *she sighs sadly* Anyway, there was a time when I was a vicious and cruel a demon as any the Abyss ever spawned… but then I met the goddess Desna, and she showed me that there was more to life than I had ever imagined. That was not the end of my journey, but the beginning – long is the way and hard, that out of the Abyss leads up to the light. But in the end, with the help of my friends… and my beloved… I broke the last ties that bound me to the Abyss and became, for the first time in all the centuries I’ve lived, my own person. Now I stand by their side, to defend mortalkind from the evil that I once served. And apparently, MG thinks that my experiences will make me… uniquely qualified to comment on this… whatever this actually is? “Fanfic?” I’m not sure what that is, exactly, but I guess we’ll find out together!

MG: Thank you, Arueshalae – it’s good to have you with us! *deposits a laptop and stack of books in front of her* This should help to get you up to speed and answer any questions you might have; your fellow sporker for today will be Tharkos!

Tharkos: *the old half-orc regards Arueshalae critically* I am not accustomed to working with… demons… but I shall do so if duty demands. *he sighs* And I, too, have served disappointing masters and have regrets in my past… perhaps we have that in common.

MG: And with that, we’re off!

Chapter 9: Corruption

Alatar arrived at the East Gates of Bree and dismounted. On the walkway atop the double Gates, the cries of hobbits and men grew to a clamorous din. A great glow rose from the other side of the heavily-barred iron and wooden double-gateway.

Arueshalae: *confused* What exactly is burning on the other side? Demon armies might raise fire as they come, simply because they can, but I would think a mortal army might find a ram more useful than… trying to burn the gate down?

“Run!” he shouted. Retreating from the Gates, most everyone heeded his warning and fled. Someone’s spell was about to release incredible power and it was too late to begin a counter-spell. He sent Silverfall galloping to safety and ducked into the recess of a stone door.

MG: …so no, it doesn’t look like someone is trying to burn the gate down so much as they’re trying to freaking Kamehameha it down. Because apparently Polychron thinks magic in Arda works like ki attacks in Dragon Ball. *headdesk* Even when we do see someone use magic to blast a door down – during Gandalf’s initial struggle with the balrog in Moria (a sequence not in the movies) – this isn’t how it happened!

Loremaster’s Headache: 126

The East Gates exploded in a brilliant shower of fire, smoke, broken stones, twisting metal, splintering and burning wood, and the screams of burning and dying militiamen.

MG: And here it feels worth noting that even the Witch-king, when he used magic to breach the gates of Minas Tirith, did it by putting some sort of additional sorcerous force into Grond, the battering ram. He didn’t just… blow the gates down by his own power!

When the smoke cleared, the shattered remains and smoldering ruins lay in the street with a dozen dead Gate guards who had been caught in the blast. They’d had no time to flee or had refused to desert their posts. The rest had been running and were passing him on the street.

Tharkos: *sigh* Normally I would condemn such behavior… but I doubt any of these poor men were ever properly prepared for this. Eagle watch over them all.

From his uniform, Alatar recognized the Captain of the East Gates and grabbed his arm, stopping him. He stared into the man’s terrified eyes, “Take heart! I am pledged to defend you. I will not allow your enemies to enter! Gather your men and follow me. You shall bear witness to my repelling these invaders and you must report my actions faithfully to Mayor Mugwort.”

Arueshalae: …isn’t Alatar supposed to be some form of divine messenger? Surely, he has more worthwhile things to be doing than to make sure people tell the mayor how impressively he fought off the attackers? How disappointing that a servant of the Valar seems to be no more than a glory hawk. *beat* Glory hog? *she frowns in frustration* It’s some sort of animal that starts with “h”…

A cold courage filled the Captain’s face as he stood and he called to his men.

“You think too highly of yourself, even for a wizard, if you think you can stand alone against me,” an Elvish voice told him.

Tharkos: *snorts* Normally, I’d doubt anyone who thinks they can tell a person’s race by their voice… but that tone of smug superiority certainly does sound like an elf!

A shadowy figure stood in the gateway. “Few can slow and none can stop me, save my foes who live among the gnawing Nameless Things in the depths of Khazad-dûm.

Arueshalae: …why are you announcing to everyone the only beings who can defeat you? Because that’s not very smart… I try my best to forget the person I was in the bad old days, but please, Desna, tell me I was never that stupid…

MG: Not to mention, the Nameless Things live “far, far below the deepest delvings of the dwarves” and seem to have no interest, or even knowledge, of the surface world, so… why bring them up, of all creatures? Well, actually, Polychron is going to end up doing something with the Nameless Things before the fic is done… and he doesn’t seem to have learned that some mysteries are perhaps best left unanswered.

Even they will fall once I remove the Rings which sing to me from your pockets and add them to the power of the ones I wear.” He lifted his hands and long fingers displaying Nine golden Rings of Power set with black polished gems.

MG: All I can think of is this Green Lantern cover:



MG: …including Glorfindel wearing that exact expression. It just… fits, you know?

“Who are you?” Alatar asked, marveling at seeing so many gathered Rings.

“I am your death,” he said. “Prepare to fall before the unmatchable might of Glorfindel!”

Tharkos: I’d take you more seriously if you’d stop pontificating and just stab him, then!

“Glorfindel!” Alatar cried. “I have heard many tales of you. You left the Halls of Mandos before I departed Aman. There, you were held in the highest esteem, a great warrior, slayer of balrogs, one of the Elven-wise. Now I sense… a terrible Darkness, and the Shadow of Evil about you. A cloud hangs over you like a corruption and a sickness of the mind.”

Arueshalae: …why are all the words capitalized? Is this something mortals do that nobody told me about yet?

MG: Pretentious mortals, maybe… And am I the only one getting the feeling that Polychron is writing this as if this was supposed to be the big reveal of Glorfindel’s villainy? Because it kind of feels like Polychron forgot he already revealed this to Alatar – and us – two chapters ago, so it feels kind of flat here.

“I was a Prince of the First Born, of the House of the Golden Flower,” Glorfindel told him. “Now I am the King of Gondolin, once known as Imladris, refounded at the feet of the Misty Mountains. Where Rivendell sat, there now stands proudly the city of Glorfindell.

MG: *doubles over laughing* Oh. Dear. Eru. Glorfindell. Glorfindell. Just… just wow. I can only imagine Glorfindel (and/or Polychron) sitting there after coming up with that, absurdly self-congratulatory over just how clever he was being, completely unaware of how narmy it actually comes off. I mean… Dear Eru. Glorfindell. Even Sauron didn’t name his kingdom or his capital after himself! Even Morgoth didn’t do that! And they certainly didn’t use terrible puns to do it! And, uh, Glorfindel, the character, doesn’t speak English. In Sindarin, Rivendell’s proper name is Imladris. Its Westron name, which gets rendered as “Rivendell” in English because that’s what Tolkien usually does with Westron, is Karningul. Neither of which can be easily slotted into the name “Glorfindel.” He named his citadel… using a pun that only works in a language that doesn’t even exist in-universe, what the hells?

Arueshalae: *under her breath* Kindly don’t swear by the Nine Hells when I’m around… I’ve had bad experiences with devils…

Linguistic Confusions: 23

I annex and buy these lands by Right of Power and commence the expansion of Empire.”

Tharkos: Buy? And with what currency, exactly, is Prince Glorfindel of the Golden Flower going to be paying the High King and the Bree-folk for this purchase? And I will say, that when my lord the great Emperor Coaltongue began his conquests, he had already forged the tribes of the Ragesian plains into an army behind him, and was himself one of the great military minds of the age, though he did not yet have his great Torch… what exactly does Glorfindel have to back up his claim, beyond unearned arrogance and some jewelry that should have lost its magic years ago?

“I have a caveat for the Emperor,” Alatar said, raising his staff. “Let the buyer, beware.”

Glorfindel laughed madly and the golden Rings on his fingers glowed. “Which Istari is about to die in agony beneath the power of my Rings?”

Arueshalae: …and then Alatar shot him with a bolt of lightning while he was standing there preening, right? I think even the kindliest of people would take that opportunity, considering his stated goals!

MG: Also, “Istari” is the plural. “Istar” is the singular

Linguistic Confusions: 24

Alatar’s staff and all the silver in his hat and robes shimmered. “I am Alatar, the Blue.”

“Alatar?” Glorfindel mocked. “I had feared you were Pallando! You are the weakest of the Maiar sent from Aman, save for lowly Radagast.

MG: Actually, based on the Unfinished Tales, it sounds like Alatar was one of the first Maiar chosen for the mission, alongside Curumo (Saruman). Pallando only came along because he was Alatar’s best friend, and Alatar wanted to bring him. Which would make me assume that Alatar, not Pallando, is the more accomplished of the two (though I’ll admit that’s just conjecture)

It was said you had fallen into folly, creating false cults and gathering Men to worship you.”

“It will pain you to learn the truth,” he responded. “The stories of my falling into folly have been somewhat exaggerated. Only Saruman failed his appointed task.”

Arueshalae: Is that all Alatar is going to give us about this? I would think there would be more of a story there.

MG: Honestly, this one is probably just Polychron nodding at Tolkien’s contradictory notes and comments about the Blue Wizards’ history and activities.

“You deem Radagast a success?” Glorfindel asked.

“Radagast has not yet been tested,” he answered. “His test is coming.

MG: I mean… as I’ve said before, Tolkien was pretty clear that while Radagast didn’t fall the way Saruman did, neither was he especially effective at the mission to which the Istari were actually assigned. So…

Loremaster’s Headache: 127

Pallando and I had the greater burden: stopping Sauron from conquering the lands in the East, and using the men and Fell Beasts for his conquests of the West, including dragons. You may note we succeeded.”

“Then why did you not return with the others to Aman?” Glorfindel asked.

“We have been charged with a new task,” he answered. “The one Saruman failed: the gathering and destruction of all the Rings of Power, including the ones you wear.”

MG: So… on the one hand, this does suggest that Polychron has a better sense of LotR’s themes than previous chapters indicated… though still not great, since trusting the gathering and destruction of Rings of Power to someone already powerful, like a Maia, is probably a bad idea since they’d be much more dangerous if corrupted, and also the rest of the fic involves a lot of people using Rings of Power, and not a lot of destroying them…

Bigger, Louder, More!: 29 (see, we’re not just dealing with a Ring of Power, but all of them!)

“My Rings?” Glorfindel asked. His diffidence alchemized into sudden, virulent hatred. “I will let you have my Rings – when you can pull them from my cold, dead fingers!”

MG: …okay, now I’m just imagining Glorfindel as Edgar from the first Men in Black movie. Unfortunately, Alatar’s response doesn’t quite have the punch of “your proposal… is acceptable.”

“I did not think you would willingly give them up,” Alatar responded. “No matter how politely I framed the request. But before we come to blows, I must know: how have you Fallen to the Shadow? You were the greatest of those who dwelled in the Halls of Mandos. I would not have believed even the gaze of Melkor could twist your bright light to the Dark Paths.”

MG: Wow. Apparently, according to Alatar, Glorfindel is the greatest elf who ever died. Sure, killing that balrog was impressive, but that still seems… excessive. Somewhere in the Halls of Mandos, Thingol and Feanor must be seething (Finrod Felagund, for his part, is probably too classy to press the point).

“Is that what you think?” he asked. “Morgoth did not bend me to his will! I serve only the bright desires of Glorfindel.”

Arueshalae: *sighs sadly* And so all demons claim to be the masters of their own desires, never realizing they themselves are slaves, to their own appetites, and to those strong enough to force them to obey. I was like that once. I know it when I see it.

MG: Also, not sure why anyone is brining Morgoth into this… he was already cast into the Void long before Glorfindel was re-embodied and returned to Middle-earth, and as we’ll see, it was only after that that Glorfindel was corrupted!

“When did the desires of Glorfindel eclipse the will of Ilúvatar?” he asked.

“You truly wish to know?” he responded. “My secrets will not save you… but I delight in the thought of telling you. Knowing them will torment you – the moment before you die.”

MG: And so now, we’re about to get… the monologue. That’s right. Glorfindel is about to spend a chapter and a half monologuing about his past (in third person, apparently!) in the middle of an important battle. And Alatar, apparently, is going to just politely stand there at let him. Seriously. I’m honestly reminded of the bit from DBZ Abridged, where Piccolo goads Cell into telling him literally his entire backstory… except that Piccolo was trying to buy time to regenerate his arm, and TFS characterized Imperfect Cell as, basically, a psychopathic teenager who, for all his inborn knowledge, simply didn’t have the life experience at that point to not fall for it. Glorfindel and Alatar have no such excuses.

Tharkos: …I weep on behalf of good military sense in all worlds. For this must surely be one of the greatest sins against it I have ever heard of!

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 57 (I think an even six points for this debacle works…)

* * * * *

Of all the people in Middle-earth, Sauron hated and feared Glorfindel the most.

Arueshalae: Oh. So Glorfindel is apparently going to be monologuing about himself in the third person? That’s… in my experience, even most demon lords don’t do that!

MG: I mean, technically I guess it’s not explicitly said that all of this is literally what Glorfindel is narrating to Alatar… but considering we cut to this immediately after he declares his intent to tell Alatar his backstory, and when we’re finally through Alatar is going to act like this is what he just heard, so… yeah.

Arueshalae: *sighs* Desna give me strength, I thought I was free from this sort of thing when I left the Abyss!

Glorfindel had opposed him longer and more successfully than any of his remaining foes.

Tharkos: *checks notes* Hmm; it would appear here that Glorfindel did not return to Middle-earth until some time during the Second Age, and though he was involved in many of the struggles against Sauron, he does not seem to have been the key figure in any of them… is this more of Polychron’s foolishness, I wonder, or is it meant to be Glorfindel’s own warped view of his own importance?

MG: From a better author, I might go with the latter… but I’m not sure Polychron is that subtle, sadly. Besides, it always seemed to me that Sauron’s chief foes in the Second and Third Ages were the bearers of the Three Rings and, once they showed up, the Istari.

Loremaster’s Headache: 128

During the Fall of Gondolin, Glorfindel destroyed his most powerful Balrog Lord.

MG: Excuse me? The part about Glorfindel killing a balrog is correct, but basically everything about the implied context here is wrong, or at least misleading. Most obviously, the Fall of Gondolin was during Morgoth’s reign as the Dark Lord, long before Sauron’s. Sauron wasn’t even the commander of the attack on Gondolin; Gothmog was. And Gothmog, not the nameless balrog Glorfindel faced, was the strongest and the leader of the balrogs, and he died in a mutual kill with Ecthelion of the Fountain during the same battle. Don’t get me wrong, Glorfindel’s feat was very impressive, and by his sacrifice he saved the Gondolin refugees who that balrog was intending to attack… but it still feels like it’s being completely misrepresented here.

Loremaster’s Headache: 131

Dying from his wounds, his spirit returned to Valinor and there he was reincarnated in the Halls of Mandos. Yet unlike any before, Glorfindel was released and sent back over the ocean in the company of two other Elven Lords from Tol Eressëa: Gildor Inglorion and Galdor of the Trees.

MG: All of this does seem to be true (with the caveat that reincarnation isn’t uncommon for dead elves, seemingly – it’s being sent back to Middle-earth afterwards rather than remaining in Valinor that was unusual, specifically) and, as we’ve been over, Galdor doesn’t seem to have come with Glorfindel in the version Tolkien decided on, and Gildor doesn’t seem to have come with him in any version (it also occurs to me that Gildor describes himself and his followers as “exiles” when introducing himself to Frodo, implying that they were among the Noldor who left Aman in pursuit of the Silmarils – presumably in Finrod’s following, as he also describes himself as being “of the House of Finrod” – and thus were not from Eressea). Ironically, in at least one version of events Glorfindel did have company when he left Valinor – the Blue Wizards, who in at least one version were set out on their mission long before the rest of the Istari. But that’s clearly not what Polychron is going with.

Loremaster’s Headache: 133

It couldn’t be a coincidence. Exactly then, Sauron was forging his Ruling Ring, using the secrets he’d stolen from Celebrimbor and the Mirdainions.

Arueshalae: …would he have thought it was a coincidence? Surely, he must have realized if he was being sent back, it was for a reason – or did the Valar just shove him on a boat and set him off without telling him why (if what you’ve said about what’s coming is true, maybe they had gotten tired of listening to him pontificate, too)?

When the three exiled Elven Lords arrived in East Mithlond,

Arueshalae: So, Glorfindel is an exile… I suppose they really didn’t want him back, did they?

MG: Yeah, one does have to wonder… what did you do to make the Valar want to get rid of you that badly, Glorfindel? But, seriously, “exiles” means something pretty specific in the context of the elves, and the Noldor especially… and this isn’t it!

Círdan perceived that Glorfindel could be the most decisive in defeating Sauron, so Gil-galad sent them to Celebrimbor. In Edhilon, Celebrimbor had shared, not the location of his archives, never that, but notes from there. He tutored the three Elven Lords in the dark enchantments that had been woven by Sauron into the Nine Rings of Power for Mortal Men and the Seven for Dwarf Lords, under the noses of their forgers. Because of this, these newer Rings were dark corruptions of Celebrimbor’s originals. If they were used by the Dark Lord to enslave Men and Dwarves, they would create for him the deadliest servants.

MG: …because of course, we must be reminded that in FotK, Sauron’s rings are just corrupt knockoffs of Celebrimbor’s earlier, totally better rings! *headdesk* Also, bit of clarification – Sauron initially seems to have intended all the Rings of Power for the elves; of all the races of Middle-earth, he thought the elves would be most useful for his plans, so he essentially intended to enslave them and then use them to conquer everyone else. When that didn’t work out, he distributed the Seven and the Nine to dwarves and Men respectively as a backup plan. The dwarves also proved resistant, for different reasons, but the Nine Rings successfully delivered him the Nazgul, so he ended up getting the immortal lieutenants he wanted after all, more-or-less and in a roundabout way.

Loremaster’s Headache: 134

To counter Sauron, Celebrimbor showed them how to turn the strengths of the Nine and Seven into weaknesses.

Tharkos: Unfortunately, Polychron won’t speak plainly as to what that means, so we’re left merely guessing. If you don’t have anything useful to say, why bother telling us at all?

Afterwards, the three Elven Lords dispersed. Galdor went to live in the Havens at Lindon. Gildor journeyed to Lothlórien.

MG: …Polychron really does seem to think Gildor lived in Lorien, from how often he brings it up. Why, I have absolutely no idea. Did he somehow get him mixed up with Haldir, maybe? *shrugs*

Glorfindel rode alone to Annúminas. When Sauron destroyed Eregion, killed Celebrimbor and besieged Elrond in the valley of Imladris, Glorfindel responded first. He and Elrond routed the Dark Lord, while the other two were still in route. After the battle, Glorfindel settled in Elrond’s newly founded stronghold in Rivendell.

Arueshalae: They routed Sauron’s armies all by themselves? That’s… very unlikely, isn’t it? Even my beloved, who came into powers far exceeding those mortals normally attain, still needed armies to help her fight the Abyss’s endless hordes, after all!

MG: Also… it wasn’t Elrond or Glorfindel who routed Sauron’s forces in Eriador. It was the Numenoreans, whose entrance to the war on the side of the elves tipped the balance of power in their favor, allowing them to drive Sauron’s forces out of Eriador, though not from lands he held more securely (interestingly, Sauron himself seems to have been in personal command of Mordor’s armies in Eriador, as Tolkien’s timeline notes that he and his bodyguards only barely escaped the rout of said armies – taking the battlefield himself when he doesn’t absolutely have to is very out of character for Sauron, before or after; I’m compelled to wonder if he wasn’t riding a bit high so soon after forging his Ring and had genuinely convinced himself he was now invincible. If so, he seems to have gotten a very rude wakeup call).

Loremaster’s Headache: 136

When Sauron rose in the East and Gil-galad formed the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, the three exiled Elven Lords gathered with them to destroy Sauron and the Tower of Barad-dûr. For seven years, Sauron studied those besieging him in the Last Alliance, convinced that Glorfindel was the key by which he would conquer or be conquered, for Glorfindel’s power was the strongest and burned the brightest.

Tharkos: …as opposed to the actual battle where, I believe, Glorfindel could well have been present but seems to have been mostly irrelevant to how it progressed, if so! I’m beginning to think that this telling is biased – whether by Glorfindel himself, or by Polychron wanting to talk up his new villain!

He feared it was brighter than his own and where power would not serve, guile and deceit had ever been the Necromancer’s closest allies.

Arueshalae: *sadly* And truly, those ever are among the greatest weapons of evil… and I should know, for once they were mine, and old habits die very hard.

MG: And this is actually a pretty accurate assessment of Sauron’s character! Where Morgoth could be cunning when it suited him, he tended to default to “Melkor smash!” whenever the option was on the table; Sauron is generally depicted as the more devious and subtle of the two Dark Lords, and a master of the long game. Except… he didn’t start calling himself “the Necromancer” until the Third Age after resurfacing in Dol Guldur, when he was trying to conceal his true identity from his enemies for as long as possible. Not giving a point, since Glorfindel is telling this long after it was known that Sauron and the Necromancer were the same person, but it felt worth noting.

He sent a request to parlay and offered a generous exchange of prisoners – but only to Glorfindel. On his way to free his captured friends, Glorfindel himself was caught. Inflicting ruinous loses on his enemies, he was overcome by numbers alone.

MG: Morgoth pulled this exact same trick to capture Maedhros in the First Age. Glorfindel is a veteran of the Wars of Beleriand; I think he’d know better than to fall for this! And even Maedhros was suspicious and brought more force with him than he’d agreed to, it’s just that Morgoth was always dealing under the table and brought even more extra force.

Loremaster’s Headache: 137 (Sauron never captured Glorfindel during the War of the Last Alliance, or any other point we know of)

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 58

Now that the Necromancer had him, he faced another quandary: if he slew Glorfindel, nothing would stop the Valar from resurrecting him, baptized ever more brightly in the burning light of Valinor. Glorfindel would return enraged by this personal treachery and nothing would stop him from destroying Sauron and his Ring.

Tharkos: If that is true, why bother killing any elven captive, for surely the Valar could do the same with them just as easily and have an endlessly resurrecting army under their command? I doubt it would be so simple!

MG: Also, some of Tolkien’s notes indicate that after the Downfall of Numenor, it was impossible for living beings to come from Aman to Middle-earth (the wizards, being Maiar, apparently don’t count). That’s why Tolkien decided Glorfindel should arrive in the Second Age rather than with the Istari in the Third, as he’d originally planned! This is post-Downfall, so the Valar probably couldn’t send Glorfindel back if they wanted to.

Loremaster’s Headache: 138

So the Dark Lord ordered his orcs to torture Glorfindel relentlessly. They did so wantonly inflicting devastating agonies, but they stopped short of killing him. Breaking his bones, they rent his flesh with whips and slaughtered the prisoners he had come to save – before his eyes.

Feel My Edge: 35

Days turned to weeks, becoming months.

Arueshalae: As they tend to do. In the mortal world, at least. In the Abyss, time is… more like a guideline than an actual rule.

Sometimes Sauron came and personally supervised these tortures. His monstrous form was black as night and radiated terrible heat in waves, while trying to pull from Glorfindel’s mind the strengths and weaknesses of Gil-galad, Elendil and their enchanted armaments.

MG: …why am I not surprised that Polychron thinks that Gil-Galad and Elendil’s magic weapons were what made them a threat to Sauron, and not their own abilities as leaders and the valor of the warriors who fought under their command? Of course, maybe it’s supposed to be Sauron making the mistake – after all, Elendil without Narsil is still Elendil, while Sauron without the One Ring is nothing – but I don’t think so.

Also, and this is just my opinion, but Tolkien never really describes Sauron’s post-Downfall form in real detail beyond vague terms (“very terrible,” “a man of more than human stature,” his skin was apparently burning hot, etc.) but since there’s some evidence that Sauron’s wounds carry over from one body to another (ie, when he flees Luthien and Huan in the Sil, he explicitly leaves his old body behind, but is still bleeding from the throat from where Huan grabbed him; Gollum also describes him as still missing the finger Isildur cut off even by the War of the Ring) my personal headcanon is that Sauron was left looking like he did after being caught in the Downfall. Which involved being caught in a volcanic eruption and an island being dropped to the bottom of the sea… meaning he’d look something like a boiled corpse, held together by hate and dark magic. Eeesh.

During these onslaughts, Glorfindel weakened. Although he swore he’d release his spirit and die before he broke. Alone in his cell, his body crushed, though not yet conquered, with death once more so very close and him ready to welcome his end, Sauron came again in the middle of the night. He had his orcs chain Glorfindel to an iron chair with his hands and individual fingers tied, except the third finger of his left hand.

Tharkos: And then Glorfindel immediately made a certain gesture with that finger in Sauron’s direction, which made Sauron no doubt regret leaving it free.

Feel My Edge: 36

He propped a monstrous ax above Glorfindel’s wrist, prevented from falling by a slender stick tied to a rope. Dismissing his orcs, he locked and barred the door, and removed the Ruling Ring from his burning black hand. The red Tengwar runes glowed brightly in the darkness.

Approaching slowly, he slid the red hot Ring of Power onto the third finger of Glorfindel’s left hand, keeping his black fingers on the burning outer band. The terrible heat seared Glorfindel’s skin and he screamed. The pain overwhelmed him and he passed out.

Arueshalae: My knowledge of Middle-earth isn’t what it could be… and I admit I still find the mortal plane of my own world confusing, at times… but, speaking as a former professional – that seems far more likely to create a rival than a servant? And I think it eventually did? If this is the supposed cunning of Sauron, it seems very lacking!

MG: …yeah. Sauron’s greatest fear was always that someone would take his Ring, master it, and turn it against him. As a very powerful elf-lord – apparently, someone Polychron wants us to think Sauron considers the most dangerous of all his foes – Glorfindel would be well positioned to do exactly that. And Sauron literally forced him to wear the One Ring. Temporarily, as a form of torture, but even so… that is a terrible idea, and yes, even if it corrupts Glorfindel it’s likely to turn him into a rival for Sauron’s throne, and yes, we know it does turn Glorfindel into a rival for Sauron’s throne, so… you’re absolutely right.

Arueshalae: *facepalms* This is almost making part of me want to fall to darkness again, just so I can show these people how to do it right… this worries me!

Feel My Edge: 37

Loremaster’s Headache: 139 (OOC Sauron alert!)

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 59

He awoke to the putrid stench of his own burning flesh. Ignoring the pain, almost unconsciously, what little remained of his depleted strength rose at the sense of potency in the Ruling Ring. He couldn’t help but try and master the vitality, attempting to harness the power of the One. He couldn’t do it. He was only half-conscious and far too weak. Sensing this, Sauron offered him a tiny fraction of his own might, which he unthinkingly accepted.

Arueshalae: …I’m starting to think Sauron actually wanted to be defeated. Does some part of Mairon the Fair remain buried in his soul, and that’s why he’s deliberately sabotaging himself?

Tharkos: All I can say is that the Great Coaltongue was never such a fool as to simply hand his enemies the Torch of the Burning Sky, for any reason, not even as part of some gambit! And his life was not bound to the Torch, as Sauron’s is to the Ring!

Feel My Edge: 38

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 60

Suddenly all the doings of Sauron’s Rings of Power were revealed to him: The Nine had enslaved the mortal Kings of the North, South and East; Forodwaith, Rhûn, Khand, East Harad, Nurn, and many others.

MG: Don’t forget the West! We don’t know much about the mortal lives on the Nazgul, other than that they were “mighty in their day, kings, sorcerers and warriors of old,” but apparently three of them – including the Witch-king himself – were Numenoreans! Don’t make them feel left out! Also, per Tolkien’s timeline, the Nazgul had already been openly in Sauron’s service for centuries by the time of the Last Alliance; this is not news.

He knew all the lands and which people were doing the bidding of Sauron; some openly, others in secret. Three of the Seven for Dwarf Lords had been swallowed by dragons and three were here on Sauron’s other hand. Only one was missing, carried by an unknown dwarf.

MG: While that is the ultimate fate of the Seven (or at least, four consumed, three captured) it doesn’t seem possible to have happened now since Durin’s Ring, the mightiest of the Seven, wasn’t reclaimed by Sauron until the late Third Age, when he took it from Thorin’s father, Thrain. I guess that’s supposed to be the “unknown dwarf” here, but… Durin’s Ring would have currently been born by the king of Durin’s Folk. Hardly unknown!

Loremaster’s Headache: 140

Celebrimbor’s original set and the Three Elvish Rings were outside Sauron’s purview, although he lusted for them, wanting the identities of the Ringbearers, their works and all their creations. But the Master-ring above all – to destroy it.

Arueshalae: So, it seems that Sauron, even as I once did, is chasing dreams… but I don’t think dreams of rings that don’t even exist will lead him to redemption, sadly!

With this slight Sauron-assisted surge in strength, Glorfindel’s will grew and he tried to turn what little power of the One he could against its Master. Immediately aware of this, Sauron yanked the Ring off his hand and nearly ripped off his finger. Smoke and the stench of his own burnt flesh rose from the Elvish runes now branded on his charred flesh, spelling out the words of the Ring Rhyme in Barzhûrk.

Tharkos: …and now will Sauron realize why he shouldn’t have done that in the first place? I somehow doubt it!

Instantly, Glorfindel’s revived spirit ignited with a longing more intense than the fires still burning his Elven flesh. He yearned to again feel the power of the One which had just filled him with purpose and dark desire.

Arueshalae: …therefore once again proving why Sauron was mistaken in doing this. It seems he did create a rival after all. Alas for Glorfindel, to have this done to him… by Sauron, and by his author!

Sauron laughed and put the Ruling Ring back on his own black hand. The fading red runes on the Ring again grew bright and Glorfindel’s mind was at last revealed to him. The Dark Lord discovered secrets which hadn’t been expressed to Glorfindel, but learned by chance or unavoidable happenstance: Elendil wielded Narsil, forged by Telchar, who had forged Angrist, used to cut the Silmaril from his Master Morgoth’s Iron Crown. Gil-galad wore the enchanted mithril armor and magical spear Aeglos, forged by Celebrimbor, used after the War of Wrath to kill thousands of orcs attacking Lindon. Orcs would no longer hold the line before Gil-galad’s impregnable armor and the icy death of Aeglos no matter what Sauron did.

Thanks to the Necromancer’s treachery and Glorfindel’s failure of resolve, many of the strengths and weaknesses of his enemies were revealed to him. Knowing the scope and nature of these threats led the Dark Lord to schemes to counter them. Sauron had already plundered Celebrimbor’s foundries and workshops. He had only lacked the knowledge of what to do with the things he’d found there.

MG: So… yeah, Polychron really does seem to think Elendil and Gil-Galad’s strength came from all the magical goodies they carried, and not from themselves. *headdesks repeatedly* I really should have included a “missing the point” counter…

He wanted more. Leaving, his orcs returned with fell meats and drinks. In addition to torments, they fed these to Glorfindel, but not before fouling them with filth.

Tharkos: *simmering rage* I’ll have you know that though the orcish folk are hardy and can make do with provisions other peoples might find intolerable at need… we do not eat filth. Nor do we feed important prisoners filth that might sicken them – not when we need them alive!

After he had recovered a little of his strength, Sauron returned. Sending his servants away and binding Glorfindel’s hands once more, he removed the One and put it on the Elf’s branded finger.

Arueshalae: *facepalms again* I’m starting to think my “Sauron is sabotaging himself” theory has actual merit…

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 61

This time, Glorfindel welcomed the searing heat and he embraced the Ring’s terrible power allowing Sauron to dive deeper into his mind.

MG: …am I the only one thinking this sounds rather… suggestive? At all?

Arueshalae: No. No, you are not.

Pervy Hobbit Fanciers: 30

At long last the Dark Lord learned Gil-galad wore one of the five for Elven Lords, of the Eleven which had been forged by Celebrimbor and the Mirdainions. But Gil-galad had passed the Three to other Keepers. It was the first news of Celebrimbor’s original Rings and the Three he had ever learned. Elendil wore one of the Five for Mortal Warriors, Isildur another.

Tharkos: Why must every person of note in this… excuse for a story own one of these magical trinkets? Does Polychron think that this is the chief measure of a person’s worth?

MG: Also… Gil-Galad totally bore one of the Three. He was the bearer of Vilya, the Ring of Air, most powerful of the Three. It passed to his number two and protégé, Elrond, upon his death, but while alive he very much bore one of the Three!

Loremaster’s Headache: 141

Rings-a-Palooza: 73

Surprisingly, Anárion had been killed. Not in combat: he was crushed by a random stone hurled by an onager. His Ring had been stolen. By whom? No one knew.

Everyone: *facepalms*

Rings-a-Palooza: 74

For months, Glorfindel and Sauron strove, one against the other.

As their wills fought, Glorfindel began to understand the enormity and subtlety of the dark enchantments Sauron had used to corrupt Celebrimbor’s second set of Rings, including this One which Sauron daily put on his finger. In time, his mastery over the Ruling Ring grew and now it rivaled Sauron’s.

Arueshalae: Forgive me, but I find that very hard to credit. Rather, I believe that Sauron is allowing Glorfindel to believe this, so as to draw him ever further into his web.

MG: Considering that Sauron made the One Ring by letting part of his own power and spirit pass into it… I think you’re right. The One is his. It is, in essence, part of him. Sauron may have feared someone mastering the One and using it against him, but I think their odds of doing so – especially with Sauron himself, the Ring’s true master, right there in the room – are very low; IIRC, per one of Tolkien’s letters, it would probably take another Maia like Gandalf to reliably manage that.

He had been tortured, starved, poisoned, but thanks to Celebrimbor’s tutelage and his own ingenuity, secretly, Glorfindel discovered a way to take control of the Ring, just as it slid off his finger. Watching Sauron return the Ring to his own black hand, he knew the moment the Dark Lord returned to torture him again and placed the One on his finger, at last he would vanquish Sauron.

Arueshalae: And I think the moment you try that is the moment that Sauron will take possession of your soul utterly… and you, poor wretch, will be damned beyond recovery. *she sighs sadly* It’s a story I’ve seen before, too many times to count. Sometimes I played Sauron’s role myself…

Feel My Edge: 40

Take That, Tolkien!: 19 (I think this whole nonsensical subplot deserves some points)

A day passed. Then, another. An entire week went by. Just as he began to lose hope, the Necromancer returned and removed his Ring. Glorfindel tensed, prepared to lash out with all his Ring enhanced Elven power the moment he felt it on his finger. It might destroy his body and cost his life, but he would defeat the mockery of this self-styled Lord of the Rings.

With the Ring only inches from the tip of Glorfindel’s finger, the Dark Lord stopped and laughed. Returning the One to his own burning hand, he commanded his orcs to stop torturing Glorfindel and to feed him better meats and drinks, allowing his body to fully heal.

Tharkos: While keeping your prisoner alive so long as he is useful is… admirably competent for this story, I am compelled to wonder just what Sauron’s plan is here…

Sauron left and reluctantly, his servants set Glorfindel’s broken bones. They salved his open wounds and gave him antidotes to their poisons. Over time, his Elvish strength returned.

Sometimes, though less often, Sauron came late at night, dismissed his servants, barred the door and placed the red hot burning One on the feeding table – just beyond Glorfindel’s chained ability to reach. The Necromancer watched him writhing, squirming, panting and unable to hide his dark desire – completely overcome.

A terrible understanding burst through Glorfindel’s heart: he learned the true meaning of Lust. It was stronger than anything he had ever known. This longing never left him: to feel again the power of the One. He knew he would do anything, anything, to experience this feeling once again. As his strength continued to grow, so too grew his Lust, higher and stronger, darker and deeper than even his own returning Elvish strength.

Arueshalae: I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone capitalize the word “lust” so insistently… and I’m a succubus! What does Glorfindel want to do with that Ring…

MG: And I’m not quite sure how turning Glorfindel into Gollum helps Sauron’s plans, but surely there’s some angle here or he wouldn’t be keeping him alive, right? Right?

Feel My Edge: 41

One day Sauron came and told him it was over: he no longer had any use for him. The Captains of the West had refused his terms for Glorfindel’s release. Gil-galad and Elendil had rebuked Mordor’s ambassador.

Ashamed and angry, he had lowered his demands for Glorfindel to almost nothing.

Arueshalae: Therefore, making it obvious that you desperately want them to take him back? Sauron, I thought you were supposed to be good at this! When people see you’re desperate to sell them something, they’re more likely to see something’s up, not less! You have to make them want it!

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 62

Instead of accepting, they laughed at his emissary, catching him out in his lies and refused to parlay, abandoning Glorfindel to torments and whatever grisly end Sauron could devise. They would mourn him after Barad-dûr fell. They were sure, they said, Glorfindel would do the same in their place.

Mordor’s ambassador asked why they were refusing the least of prisoners for one of the most powerful Elven Lords.

At first they hesitated, refusing to answer. After prodding, flattery and idle chattering, cautiously, swearing the ambassador to secrecy, they confided that they feared if Glorfindel returned he would be tainted: corrupted by the Dark Lord.

“How?” Mordor’s emissary asked.

They didn’t know. Yet if by some mischance or unanticipated fortune of war he did return, they could never share their trust with him again. They even let it ‘slip,’ in private of course, that secretly they would prefer it if Sauron executed Glorfindel, removing the burden of what they would have to do if he did indeed return.

MG: I mean, Sauron is rather obviously telling Glorfindel this to further torment and manipulate him; on the other hand… per the Sil, Morgoth did sometimes permit his Noldor slaves to “escape” while they remained, knowingly or not, under his influence, to work his will beyond Angband, and that the Noldor as a result mistrusted and shunned anyone who escaped from Angband even if it was for real. So, there is precedent for this sort of thing, even if Gil-Galad and Elrond are being written here (or portrayed here by Sauron) as rather more heartless than I think they would be.

Feel My Edge: 42

Hearing their words in his cell, Glorfindel’s final hope was crushed by his own friends and allies. He hung his head in shame because it was true: he had been corrupted and in their place, he would have done the same to Gil-galad and Elendil.

With Glorfindel’s spirit crushed, the Necromancer cast a spell in an attempt to bind the Elven Lord’s spirit to Middle-earth, preventing him from being reincarnated in Aman. Unsure if it was successful, none-the-less he ordered his orcs to bind Glorfindel in chains, carry him to Orodruin and throw him in, destroying his body in the infernal heat of the Crack of Doom.

Tharkos: So, that was the point of all of this? To find a way to kill one elf permanently? If so, it seems like a great deal of unnecessary effort! Especially since, I believe, Glorfindel could not return from Aman anyway! And why, exactly are they going to be tossing him into Mount Doom itself? Thereby giving him the opportunity to escape? I believe a severed head is usually fatal in elves, and would be far quicker and easier…

MG: And it should be noted, Mount Doom is about thirty miles from Barad-dur. That’s a fair bit of ground to cover with a valuable prisoner while you’re under siege and the armies of the Last Alliance are all around.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 63

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 20

The orcs led a great company of goblins and wargs, with Glorfindel chained. Traveling across the plains of Gorgoroth, they marched up the sides of Orodruin and with every step, Glorfindel’s terror grew. Once they threw him in and he died, if his spirit did return to Valinor, it would be horribly disfigured, corrupted by his ravenous and all-consuming Lust for the One.

Arueshalae: *blankly* Is that the biggest problem you think you’ll have? That your soul will be ugly in the afterlife? Forgive me if I seem unsympathetic, but… I think you ought to reconsider your priorities?

Fouled and festering, Mandos would deny him entry to his halls.

MG: …I don’t think he can? I mean, it’s apparently possible for elven souls to refuse the call of Mandos and remain in Middle-earth (though lingering like this apparently leaves them open to envy for the living and, ultimately, corruption thereby) but I don’t think Mandos turns anyone away? We even know that some souls (ie, Feanor, Saeros, probably others) get held longer than normal in the Halls of Mandos as punishment for sins in life.

One way or another, he would never be reincarnated. Rejected by the Valar he would wander, a footless spirit, lamenting his outcast state, forever alone. The Valar could do worse. They could throw him into the Void. They might even lock him in the same dungeon with Melkor’s head and thrashing body parts, still screaming in endless agony, whose spirit Glorfindel now more closely resembled than the Valar’s. Sharing a cell, Melkor would torture him relentlessly, pouring his own anguish and agony into Glorfindel – for all eternity.

Tharkos: …that would be very impressive for Melkor to accomplish, if he’s nothing but a head and thrashing parts.

MG: …yeah. Morgoth’s in the Void. I don’t think there are cells in the Void. That doesn’t sound very… Void-like, does it? The Sil makes it sound like he was just cast bodily out of Arda (though part of his soul remains and continues to work his will even without the direction of his conscious mind), and then Earendil was assigned to stand guard against his return. And I don’t think he was dismembered, either.

Feel My Edge: 43

Loremaster’s Headache: 142

The orcs strode into the lightless tunnel bored into the side of Orodruin bearing torches. Suddenly, the volcano began erupting. Rising from the depths, searing heat blistered their skin. Poison gases choked their lungs and the orcs stumbled, dropping Glorfindel to the floor.

Arueshalae: …is this the part where I should comment that it probably isn’t safe to go marching into an active volcano? True, Alushinyrra, the city in the Abyss where I once lived, is full of lava, and most demons aren’t any more resistant to that than mortals are, but… we’re the spawn of chaos and evil. Most of my kind like living near dangerous things, even if it’s risky. I don’t think you have that excuse? Though it is fortuitous that it’s erupting just now…

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 64

Having fed the Elf in anticipation of trading him, they had allowed him to recover just enough of his seriously depleted strength – so now, he could act. He grabbed the ring of keys from the great orc-chieftain kneeling beside him, while the orc struggled to stand, coughing, asphyxiating, drowning and only succeeding in breathing deeper the poisoned fumes.

Glorfindel lay flat where the air was clear and he unlocked his chains. Breathing deep he rose, a powerful Elven Lord revealed in all his wrath. The orcs could only vomit with bulging eyes and strangling cries. Their blistering skin turned blue and they collapsed at his feet.

MG: …I don’t think Glorfindel can make orcs collapse, vomit and choke just by unveiling his power. Unless he’s just taking credit for what the volcano is doing…

Feel My Edge: 44

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 65

Before they could recover in the cleaner air, Glorfindel threw them over the edge one after another. Falling into the Crack of Doom, they plummeted into the hellish fires far below. He watched gleefully as his tormentors fell screaming, striking the surface and flashing out of existence. His executioner’s escorts heard their death screams and poured into the tunnel, terrified of what Sauron would do to them if they didn’t kill this rouge Elf.

Arueshalae: Corrupted Glorfindel might be, but his makeup was stunning! *beat* Maybe that’s what’s allowing this single starved, tortured elf to overcome a small army of orcs?

Feel My Edge: 45

For Glorfindel there was no hope. He could barely stand. He was too weak to fight, much less conquer so many foes. He had only bested the orcs by a mischance of the volcano. In the midst of this despair a stroke of genius struck. He called on the corrupted darkness injected into him by the One at the very spot it had been forged. The letters of the Ring Rhyme on his finger flared to life as bright as fire and he fell to his knees, feeling the searing heat and pain again.

Tharkos: Now he can call upon the power of the One Ring while he’s not even wearing it! My own knowledge of magic is practical rather than theoretical, and mostly focused on its applications in battle, but even so, this is absurd!

This dark corrupted power grew to ghastly heights and he became one with the smoke, deadly fumes and fires of Orodruin. The power of the volcano rose at his command: flames leaped from his hands as if he still wore the Ring and they swept his enemies away. Burning, he cast them out of the tunnel. They fell down the sides of the mountain to horribly painful deaths.

Arueshalae: I find I have to agree with Sir Tharkos. I can see no plausible reason why Glorfindel can control the volcano! Especially since, isn’t that Sauron’s volcano? Doesn’t he control it? I can’t imagine he’d yield that power so readily!

The ground shook and bright molten fire erupted straight up out of Orodruin. Lightning filled the skies and an inferno vomited from the Sammath Nauer, destroying everything in its path. The gathered armies of Mordor attempted to flee, but could not escape their fiery deaths.

Abandoning the power of Orodruin, Glorfindel cloaked himself in smoke and darkness once more and stole over the land on foot. He journeyed over Mordor, heading towards Gil-galad and Elendil, still laying siege to the Tower, outside the walls of Barad-dûr.

MG: …and so Glorfindel triggered an eruption that wiped out a decent chunk of Mordor’s army… but somehow spared the Last Alliance, not to mention Glorfindel himself? I find this… very difficult to credit!

He treaded over desolate pits and thorny brambles, drinking polluted waters when he found them. When he couldn’t, he drank putrid, sometimes stale and half-congealed blood. Feeding on rotting corpses, on one he found a wide iron ring set with a flawed fire-opal stone. Hacking if free of the bloated dead hand, he wore it to cover his own rune-branded finger.

Slowly growing in strength, he crossed the desolate lands of Mordor and in time, he found his way back to the Alliance.

Tharkos: And why, exactly, is it taking him so long to reach the Last Alliance that he must do all of this? Their army is besieging Barad-dur – they should be right there!

Feel My Edge: 46

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 21 (traveling slowly, this time..)

Shock and surprise could not begin to describe Gil-galad and Elendil’s faces when Glorfindel was brought before them, a tortured remnant of the fair Elven Lord they remembered. Feeding him and giving him water, they did their best to heal him, telling him to rest. But Glorfindel, with halting speech and faltering strength, told them everything that had befallen him, except that Sauron had forced him to wear the One and he had Fallen to its Lust – and the Enemy had learned all their secrets.

Arueshalae: Which left… what for him to tell, exactly? It would seem he left out almost everything! The best liars know to mix as much of the actual truth as possible into their lies – it’s more believable, that way!

Shortly after Glorfindel’s return, the Necromancer left Barad-dûr, assaulting the Men and Elves opposing him. This time no one could stop the Dark Lord. For Sauron every death was sweeter because they wouldn’t have been possible if Glorfindel had shared all he knew. His enemies would have abandoned the siege or at the very least, modified the enchantments on their weapons.

MG: …what. For one, that’s not how enchanted objects seem to work in Arda – the magic is an inherent part of their construction and can’t really be “modified.” For another… what. How many “enchanted weapons” has Sauron faced thus far in the battle, exactly? It sounds like he’s just been engaging the regular soldiers and hasn’t been challenged by Gil-Galad and Elendil yet. Does Polychron think every soldier is somehow kitted out with magical armor and weapons? Arda is not that kind of setting! Even among an army of mostly elves and Numenoreans, this stuff should still be fairly rare!

Loremaster’s Headache: 143

More than the sweetness of each death, Sauron reveled in his success in corrupting Glorfindel. One dark conquest had bred another, and another, leading here.

Tharkos: A demigod is besting mere mortals (and non-divine immortals, apparently). Truly, a conquest that only breaking Glorfindel would have enabled him to accomplish!

Facing Gil-galad’s spear Aeglos, the Necromancer broke it and slew Gil-galad with the sword he’d plundered from Celebrimbor’s own foundry in the Guildhouse of the Mirdainions.

MG: …actually, per “The Council of Elrond,” Sauron killed Gil-Galad by burning him to death with the heat of his hand. Weird; that’s the sort of thing I’d think Polychron would go for.

Loremaster’s Headache: 144

Yet he too was struck by the spear’s broken tip. It burst his enchanted armor, leaving a huge rent. Vulnerable while slaying Elendil, he was stabbed a lethal blow by Elendil’s enchanted blade Narsil – though it too broke. Dying amid the ruins, he searched his dead foe’s fingers, clothes; everywhere and everything, searching for the Rings they wore which he knew would save him.

But no matter how hard he searched or where, he couldn’t find the Rings. They had to be here. He had seen them wearing their Rings so clearly in Glorfindel’s mind.

He couldn’t know: Glorfindel had told Gil-galad and Elendil the Enemy had learned his thoughts, but not how. Refusing to abandon the siege, powerless to alter the enchantments on their weapons, they used their deaths to kill Sauron after passing their Rings to new Keepers.

MG: …of course, Polychron somehow manages to make even the final duel of Sauron against Elendil and Gil-Galad about his special noncanonical Rings. How they were supposed to save him… who knows. And to be a fly in the tent when Glorfindel had to explain to Elendil and Gil-Galad how Sauron somehow got information from him without breaking him…

Loremaster’s Headache: 145

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 66

Take That, Tolkien!: 20

Before the battle, Glorfindel had spent most of his time with Isildur, the youngest and weakest of the mighty,

MG: …Isildur was over two hundred years old during the Last Alliance. I mean, technically (with his brother’s death) he was the youngest of the Alliance’s high command, but even for a Numenorean of Elros’s line, two centuries is a rather significant span of time! He’s already been a king in his own right by this point, even (he and Anarion being jointly Gondor’s first kings). It’s not like he was an impressionable teen or twentysomething.

whispering to him alone his most closely guarded secret: on which of Sauron’s fingers he wore invisibly, the One. It was inexplicably known, by Glorfindel.

Arueshalae: And it clearly never occurred to this experienced leader to wonder how Glorfindel knew this? …why is Polychron making this so easy for Glorfindel?

MG: And I don’t think there was any implication the One itself was invisible while Sauron wore it. No one ever seems to think it was remarkable Isildur knew which finger to cut off, anyway. Getting the Ring away from Sauron was the hard part!

Ploy-Induced Stupidity: 67

He told Isildur he chose him because his was the brightest and most uncorruptible spirit. Only Isildur could be trusted to claim the One; not his father Elendil, nor the great High Elven King, Gil-galad. The damage was done: Isildur believed The Lie – he had a Right to the One.

MG: *sighs and facepalms* Tolkien tells us why Isildur thought he had a right to the One. He claimed it as a prize of war, and as weregild (blood price) in recompense for the deaths of his father and brother (the implication being, I always felt, that he was essentially saying to Sauron “you took from me what I loved, so I’ll take what you love”). That was opening enough for the Ring to get its initial grip on him. No machinations of inexplicably evil elves needed.

When the Necromancer shattered Narsil, Isildur stood back and watched his father die. Knowing his own sword would break, the already broken pieces of Narsil would be immune to further damage.

Tharkos: …that may be the most utterly absurd nonsense I have ever heard. Of course, Narsil’s shards could be broken further! Why couldn’t they be?

MG: And I’ll note that Isildur was not the only witness to the final combat on Mount Doom; Elrond and Cirdan were there as well (and Glorfindel, critically, was not). What, does Polychron think they deliberately held back and let Elendil and Gil-Galad die too?

Feel My Edge: 47 (Tolkien’s Isildur was a flawed man, to be sure, but by all accounts a loyal son and brother; this Isildur is a kinslayer-by-proxy)

While Sauron lay dying, Isildur used the edge of the broken blade to sever the third finger of Sauron’s left hand. Victorious, he held aloft the bleeding, amputated appendage.

MG: …I think I prefer how Jackson had Sauron’s finger crumble into ash in Isildur’s hand. Creepier that way, IMO. OTOH, Isildur finishing off a wounded Sauron seems to be closer to what Tolkien implied about the scene, though he never gave a blow-by-blow account of the fight in any source I’m familiar with.

Feel My Edge: 48

There before his eyes appeared the One. A mortal succeeded where immortal Elves and Maiar had failed, and Isildur, the Heir of Elendil, claimed the Ruling Ring of Power as his own.

Glorfindel had woven dark desires on Isildur’s heart, fanning his wish to more quickly succeed his father and become the new High King of Gondor and Arnor.

MG: See? Kinslaying by proxy. And this is also a start of a trend where Polychron is going to be making evil!Glorfindel’s machinations responsible for all sorts of things in Middle-earth’s history… that had perfectly reasonable explanations without his involvement, making the whole thing feel overly complicated and unnecessary.

Feel My Edge: 49

Loremaster’s Headache: 146

Now it was easy for Isildur to resist the entreaties of Elrond and Círdan, despite them trying to persuade him or using their own Rings to bend him to their will.

Arueshalae: I thought the Three were tools of healing and protection! But now Elrond and Cirdan are trying to use them to compel Isildur against his will? I fear the line between good and evil might be far less clear than I’d come to hope!

MG: And, uh… of course Isildur didn’t want to destroy the Ring. The Ring’s influence on its bearers makes them want to keep it, and to risk no harm to it! This is very basic stuff, here.

Rings-a-Palooza: 75

In sight of Orodruin, they told him this was their chance to destroy the Ring. But the lies of Glorfindel mouthed by Isildur convinced them he knew everything needed to rule the Ruling Ring and destroy them.

Tharkos: Which is, of course, why he kept the One as a trophy of war, and never seems to have made any moves to use it to conquer anyone…

Feel My Edge: 50

But the Alliance was not wholly defeated.

MG: …the Alliance was not “defeated” at all. Their goal was to overthrow Sauron and break the power of Mordor, and they did. It was a bittersweet victory, seeing massive losses on their side, including a number of their great leaders and heroes; the Elves never really recovered from these losses, and never again would an alliance between Elves and Men be formed on such a scale… but Sauron still came off the worse, by far, and it was only the fact that his Ring survived that gave him an opening to return and try again at a much later date.

Loremaster’s Headache: 147

When the One burned Isildur’s hand and he was forced to remove the Ruling Ring, Celeborn, Amroth, Nimrodel, Gildor and Celebrían put on Celebrimbor’s Elvish Rings and Elrond, Galadriel and Círdan put on the Three.

All Sporkers: *facepalm*

Rings-A-Palooza: 81 (one point for every non-canonical ring; no points for the Three, who are for once assigned to their correct bearers)

Together, they routed Mordor’s armies and saved legions of Elves and Men.

Arueshalae: …Mordor’s armies that had already broken after seeing their master defeated? And had been diminished already by their loss at Dagorlad and the seven-year siege of Barad-dur? Who was being routed, exactly? I’m so confused…

Bigger, Louder, More: 30 (of course the War of the Last Alliance ended with a big magic fight. Why wouldn’t it?)

Loremaster’s Headache: 148

The Captains of the West never found out what had happened to Glorfindel, but their fears were equal to the task of imagining the worst. So even though it was only because of Glorfindel’s heroic efforts in escaping Sauron and through his secret counsels by which they’d won, he was forever after shunned.

MG: Which is why everyone is going to keep trusting Glorfindel and having him in their counsels over the next three thousand years, despite him mwa-ha-ha-ing all over the place and engaging in all manner of evil schemes. Riiight. This is all so stupid.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 68

While the Alliance turned the tide of battle around him and Isildur fell to his knees, in his burning hand the Ruling Ring shrank and cooled. In the following weeks, he wore it openly on a golden chain around his neck as if he himself had achieved the victory. Months later returning home by way of the Gladden Fields, Isildur was attacked by orcs, secretly driven towards him by Glorfindel. His men around him died while Isildur freed the Ring and wore it to escape.

MG: …leaving out that Isildur only fled when it was obvious the battle was lost, and only at the urging of his son to save himself. But we have to make Isildur look as bad as possible (admittedly, the Jackson movies indulge in this a bit, too). And of course, Glorfindel sent the orcs. Why he’s trying to kill someone he clearly sunk a lot of effort into grooming as a pawn, I’m less sure about.

Feel My Edge: 51

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 69

Invisible, he reached the river and threw off his armor, except his short sword Eket

MG: Per the Unfinished Tales, an eket is a kind of Numenorean short sword carried as a sidearm, not a specific weapon owned by Isildur. This is like saying “his short sword, Gladius.”

Loremaster’s Headache: 149

and dove into the Anduin wearing not one, but two golden Rings: the One, and one of the Five for Mortal Warriors, Oialëhén the Ring of Light, given to him by his father Elendil the night before Isildur allowed him to die. On his brow he wore the symbol of Númenórean kingship, which by treachery was his: a timbarëmírë, the legendary mithril Elendilmir, bearing a bright white gem.

Rings-a-Palooza: 76

Invisibly, Elrond had also followed Isildur. Casting an enchantment, he used Nenya to deceive the malevolent spirit in the Ruling Ring into believe a darker spirit was near; one resembling Sauron’s, or what Glorfindel’s might have become if he had Fallen to the Shadow.

Arueshalae: Why is Elrond here? Why does Polychron seem to think these events required dueling elf lords to make them happen?

MG: Because unlike Tolkien, Polychron doesn’t seem to believe in the “strange chances of the world” and how minor, seemingly random events and the unnoticed deeds of ordinary people can shape history. Everything has to be the result of somebody’s machinations, or somebody having a Ring of Power or some other magic. Also, Elrond had Vilya. Galadriel bore Nenya.

Elrond needn’t have bothered. Glorfindel was already there, invisibly waiting to kill Isildur and claim his Rings. Unawares, Elrond reversed the surface currents to keep Isildur swimming feebly in place, sending waves to push the orcs back, ironically, towards Glorfindel.

Tharkos: Why does Polychron think this is more sensible than “Isildur wore the One and jumped invisibly in the river, the One slipped off his finger, and the orcs saw him and shot him?” I can assure you that in war, things simply go wrong! This does not require an additional explanation!

Glorfindel slew most of the orcs and turned the rest back on Isildur’s invisible, floundering form. The Elf saw Isildur half-in, half-out of the shadowy wraith world because he wore the One. If Isildur had only worn Oialëhén, he would have been invisible to Glorfindel’s corrupted eyes. Because of their opening salvos of spells, Glorfindel sensed someone else nearby, someone invisibly using a Ring. He copied him, weaving spells of concealment learned from the One, modified to shroud him and his own spells from all perception.

Arueshalae: And thus, a tragedy of hubris and ill luck becomes a duel of wizards in which the original key figure is just a pawn. I think there’s some deeper meaning to be found here… but I’m not sure I want to ponder the logic behind it more closely!

Loremaster’s Headache: 150

Rings-a-Palooza: 77

Tired of swimming in place, Isildur made for the shore. Reaching it, he rose in the swift shallow currents of the Anduin, drawing his short sword Eket.

Casting another spell, Glorfindel touched the minds of the surviving orcs through the Elendilmir and revealed Isildur as a being of terrible light, pulled from the Ring Oialëhén.

MG: What. The Elendilmir was just an heirloom of the House of the Lords of Andunie, which became a symbol of kingship in Arnor. It’s essentially a mithril headband with a gemstone set in it. It’s not, to my knowledge, magical, aside from the fact that it glowed – it’s not even the most important of the royal regalia of Arnor – that was the Scepter of Annuminas! So… I haven’t the foggiest idea what Glorfindel is doing with it here, beyond “Polychron thought it was cool,” and I remain confused why he thought this was more sensible than the very straightforward events of canon.

Loremaster’s Headache: 151

Rings-a-Palooza: 78

When the One Ring sensed Glorfindel and Elrond’s illusions, it betrayed Isildur and slipped off his finger, falling into the swift currents of the river. But the orcs had already seen Isildur and shot Isildur full of arrows. Mortally wounded, Isildur dropped his short sword and fell into the river, still invisible, still wearing Oialëhén. Glorfindel slew the last of the orcs wantonly. Oh, how he hated orcs!

Tharkos: *growls angrily*

Then he extended his senses, calling to the Ring. Trembling in anticipation, he was almost overcome by his dark desire for the One.

Arueshalae: *staring pointedly at the ceiling, muttering under her breath* I’m not going to say anything, I’m not going to say anything, I’m not going to say anything…

Elrond heard a strange voice and used Nenya to sift the swiftly moving waters, while Glorfindel tried to disrupt his spells and find the Ruling Ring himself. Back and forth they strove, Elrond versus Glorfindel, although Elrond knew him not. One of the most intense yet subtle duels ever fought went unobserved and unrecorded. All the while, the punctured and drowned body of Isildur, still invisible, floated away downstream.

MG: And somehow that feels like a worthwhile metaphor for this whole fic. Needlessly flashy magic duels that make no sense, between characters who canonically had no reason to be fighting, while the actual important events slip by unnoticed because everyone’s too distracted by the pointless flashy stuff.

A third player in this game, the One itself, while it fell, sensed the deadly, dueling Elven Lords and used its own dark sorcery to hide itself as it sank into bottom of the river. It knew only here would it be safe from the destructive intentions of Elvish kind, which it did not trust.

Tharkos: And thus, thanks to the artifact of pure evil, the proper direction of the story was restored.

Sensing he was going to lose, Glorfindel wove another spell: no Elven kind or Men, other than himself, could perceive or rescue the body of Isildur or his Rings from the swiftly flowing waters of the Anduin, defeating Elrond’s attempts to find and unmake the One. But Elrond had denied him the reunion with the One he had so desperately desired.

Arueshalae: *raising her hand* Excuse me. Has Polychron ever tried to search for a small object like a ring in a very large, very deep, swiftly flowing river where you would have to search for it by hand? Does it really make more sense to him to think that all of this would be necessary to keep the Ring hidden and not… the river itself being more than sufficient?

When his invisible foe’s enchantments abruptly vanished, Elrond searched the river for hours, sifting the waters with Nenya. Yet for all his desperate efforts, he only recovered Eket. Despairing and believing Isildur and the One had been swept out to sea, Elrond abandoned his search. Exhausted, he left with the short sword, the only token of Isildur he could find.

With Elrond gone, Glorfindel, still invisible, waded into the river and swam the length, breadth and depths for many days, searching until he collapsed. He never found the Rings or Isildur’s body.

Arueshalae: So… he hid them so well that he hid them from himself? That’s quite an impressive feat, isn’t it? Self-defeating, true, but impressive!

The One passed from history and was lost, but Oialëhén, like the other Rings, had the power to preserve and prevent decay: Isildur’s body didn’t wither or decompose, it floated away. There it lay invisible among the reeds and marshes of the Gladden Fields – for centuries.

MG: And because this chapter is so long, on that note, we’re going to call a pause for today, since we’re about halfway through the chapter and hitting a timeskip. And so, we have covered the first part of Glorfindel’s backstory and fall to evil. And by the Valar, everyone involved in it is so godsdamned dumb. Sauron especially. LotR is quite clear that the thing Sauron fears above all else is, essentially, meeting himself – another supernaturally powerful tyrant, one powerful enough to capture his Ring and turn it against him, who could knock him off his throne and make him their vassal. And so, in his torture and corruption of Glorfindel where he forces him to wear the One, he’s essentially creating just such a potential rival. And I’m really at a loss as to what his goal was with all the torture and corruption. Was it just to prevent the Valar from sending Glorfindel back again? I still don’t think Sauron would care that much, or that he would assume that such an extraordinary event would happen a second time, even if it could be repeated. But he also seemed really determined to trade Glorfindel back to the Last Alliance… and it’s not really clear how he expected to profit from that, either? And then he tried to have him executed in a way that made it rather easy for him to escape? And then Glorfindel being corrupted during his imprisonment is, uh, really obvious but no one seems to notice, except when they do? And then of course we have Isildur also being Evil, Glorfindel masterminding events that happened perfectly well without him in canon, and lots of pointlessly flashy magic stuff that ends up amounting to exactly nothing.

Anyway, this whole business was a mess. And we’re still only about halfway through the chapter, and about a third of the way through Glorfindel’s monologue, which continues into Chapter Ten. Valar help us all. But I would like to thank Arueshalae for consenting to join us today; sadly, we’re going to need to keep you around for a while, since we’re far from done with this infodump…

Arueshalae: *fervently* Desna watch over us…

MG: And so we’ll see you all next time, as Glorfindel’s backstory catches up to the War of the Ring. Our counts stand at:

Bigger, Louder, More!: 35 (adding five points for everything Polychron adds to the Disaster of the Gladden Fields)

Expansion-Pack World: 12

Feel My Edge: 51

Happy Ending Override: 16

Linguistic Confusions: 24

Loremaster’s Headache: 151

Pervy Hobbit Fanciers: 30

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 69

Rings-a-Palooza: 80

Take That, Tolkien!: 20

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 21

The Unfair Sex: 28