Fellowship of the King Chapter Nine: Corruption, Part Two

[masterghandalf]

This is a repost from Das_sporking2. Previous installments of this sporking may be found here.

Warning: This post contains some potentially disturbing content, including violence and sexual content.



MG: Well, everyone, it’s time to continue our journey through Demetrious Polychron’s Fellowship of the King! Last time, Alatar confronted Glorfindel at the gates of Bree, and Glorfindel inexplicably decided to launch into an incredibly elaborate and lengthy monologue about his past, covering his return to Middle-earth, his corruption by an uncharacteristically stupid Sauron, and how he was totally responsible for Isildur’s fate, honest! Also, everyone had lots of Rings of Power and other magical goodies, for some reason. Today, we wrap up Chapter Nine as Glorfindel brings his story through the Third Age and up to the end of the War of the Ring, as we find out more about some of the things he’s been up to and what his relationship to some of the fic’s other villains is. Joining us today will be Arueshalae and Thalia!

Thalia: *staring at Arueshalae in fascination* You are… I don’t think I’ve ever met someone quite like you! At first, I thought you were another tiefling, until I saw your wings… but now even the voices in my dreams don’t seem to know what to make of you… normally they’re the ones confusing me, not the ones being confused… a new experience!

Arueshalae: Ah, thank you? I think? I do have some experiences with dreams now, though I’m not sure that would exactly help you… anyway, I think we’re here to keep looking at this story? So, we’d probably better get to that…

Thalia: Oh, yes, of course! What horrors await us today, I wonder? Always a fascinating topic!

Thousands of years later, it wasn’t Men or Elves who found Isildur’s magically preserved and invisible remains, it was the wizard Saruman, searching for the Ruling Ring using his Maiar senses.

MG: Yeah, no. Even Sauron only seems to be able to actively sense the Ring when someone is actively using it, and it’s his Ring; the Nazgul are drawn to it, but only when it’s close. It took Gandalf literal years of research to be sure of just what it was that Bilbo found. Saruman did search for the Ring in the Anduin… but I think the implication is he just, you know, hired people to search the river. Which was pointless in the long term anyway, since by the time he started looking, Gollum had already found it and taken it away.

Loremaster’s Headache: 152

Among the rocks and bogs along the shore, he magically discovered Isildur’s body.

Thalia: Ah, yes, the magic of “paying people to look for things for you.” Truly the greatest magic of all!

Stripping the long dead corpse, Saruman found the Elendilmir on his forehead, the golden chain about his throat on which he’d worn the Ruling Ring, and Oialëhén, on the third finger of his right hand.

MG: Also, we didn’t really touch on this last time, when this Ring was first named, but Polychron really likes giving all the Rings of Power individual names (and, as we’ll see, very long and pompous titles as well). In canon… it’s never explicitly said that the Seven and the Nine don’t have names (the One just seems to be the One) so I’m not giving points, but the only rings with individual names that are explicitly stated are the Three.

He rejoiced, believing he’d found the One. Carrying the Ring, his servants carried Isildur’s swiftly withering body. By the time they reached Isengard, only his mummified bones remained.

Arueshalae: Mummified… bones? I’m not exactly the greatest expert on mortal anatomy (I asked Nenio about it once, for… personal reasons… and got a several hours long answer that for some reason was mostly about interesting properties of toes; never again), but I thought a mummy and a skeleton were rather different things.

Saruman hid these treasures in a secret room and burned the bones in his furnace to remove all trace of guilt.

Arueshalae: *blankly* As opposed to just… leaving the bones by the Anduin in the first place? Even if someone stumbled onto the skeleton, I don’t think they’d have any reason to connect it with Saruman, or to think it was Isildur! I’m sure lots of people have died in that river!

After that, he wore the Ring and attempted to learn its secrets.

Thalia: After decades of painstaking research, he deciphered the inscription on the band. It read “Made in Eregion,” and was no help at all.

His joy quickly faded. He realized it wasn’t the One. It was some other Ring, one of the Rings forged by the Mirdainions or Celebrimbor, a lesser Ring for mortals. Its power was doubtless not worth a powerful wizard bothering to learn.

MG: And so, Saruman the White, well known for his obsession with dangerous and forbidden magical knowledge in general and the Rings of Power in particular, having the opportunity to study a particular Ring up close even if it wasn’t the one he sought… didn’t take it. Yeah, right, Polychron. And Gollum also got full and said he couldn’t possibly have another fish, too!

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 70

Furious, his efforts thwarted, Saruman tried to break this Ring. He didn’t care about any secret power it might contain, he wanted only to learn how this Ring had been forged.

Arueshalae: I would say that someone who has to break a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom… but I think someone already told Saruman that in the original book. And he didn’t listen then, so I doubt he’d listen to me.

It was beyond his power to break or even mar.

After centuries, Saruman gleaned just enough knowledge to deceive himself into believing he’d learned how to forge his own enchanted Rings.

Thalia: Unfortunately, when it came out of the forge, it was less a ring and more of a… figure eight. Back to the drawing board it was!

After many years of trying, painful years floundering, full of blunders and frustration, it finally became clear: Saruman had been wasting his time.

MG: Honestly… not giving any points for this, because “Saruman was never as brilliant or as in control of things as he thought he was” is actually a key trait of the character in canon, so while Polychron phrases it a bit condescendingly, I can’t really say he’s barking up the wrong tree…

All his trial and error efforts resulted in naught. His great scholarship, wisdom and prodigious industry had been consumed in vain pursuits, producing nothing. But his pride wouldn’t let him stop. He had to forge a Ring!

After many more years of relentless, desperate efforts, he succeeded in creating Ómataina, the Ring of Voices, Deceptions, Corruptions and Control.

This truly was one of the lesser Rings.

MG: And I guess here we have the explanation for Saruman’s ring from LotR. See what I mean about Polychron giving rings – even this cheap knockoff version – overly long, pompous names with lots of descriptions (and seriously, to use the example of Nenya, it was sometimes called the White Ring, the Ring of Water, or the Ring of Adamant – but it wasn’t all of those things at once in a big string like this!). And of course, we must be reminded that unlike Polychron’s totally new and special rings, this one was indeed lesser (though admittedly, that’s my headcanon for what Saruman made in the book as well – albeit without the implicit comparison to Polychron’s nonsense).

Take That, Tolkien!: 21

Even in the moment of his accomplishment, awash in his pride, he couldn’t deceive himself into believing Ómataina wasn’t anything but the least of Rings: the least of all the Rings of Power ever forged by Dwarves, Elves, Men or Women, Maiar or Valar.

Arueshalae: Well, to look on the bright side, apparently, he still did a better job than the ents, orcs or hobbits?

Contemptuously, yet dressed as if bestowing a princely gift,

Thalia: …does every great wizard have a “bestowing a princely gift” outfit, then? Did I not know that because no wizard has ever wanted to give me such a gift, so I’ve never seen them dressed that way?

he gave Ómataina to Gríma, son of Gálmód, chief counselor to his enemy, Théoden King of Rohan. Thereby Gríma gained the sorcerous power of Saruman’s Voice, and with his councils while using the Ring, Gríma corrupted Théoden. By this unlikely happenchance, the King fell to the wiles of the wizard.

MG: …I mean, Saruman is described as “the teacher of Wormtongue” and such a couple of times, but there’s no real indication he ever taught Grima magic (in the book, rather than the movie, Grima’s control of Theoden had nothing explicitly supernatural about it, and was just based in plain manipulation and bad counsel); if Grima was any sort of sorcerer, then based on his demonstrated accomplishments (or lack thereof) he must have been a very minor one. And, if it must be said, there’s no evidence that he ever, at any point, bore a Ring of Power.

Rings-a-Palooza: 81

During the War of the Ring, Saruman captured Gandalf the Grey and held him captive in the Tower of Orthanc. Flaunting Oialëhén before Gandalf, he pretended he himself had forged this more potent magic Ring. He never knew if Gandalf believed him. In death, he didn’t care.

Arueshalae: Although, considering his grave got desecrated a few chapters ago, maybe his restless spirit will have the opportunity to care about it again soon enough… also, isn’t this supposed to be about Glorfindel’s history? Why are we spending so much time talking about Saruman?

During the long intervening years, Glorfindel lived quietly in Imladris. He had shrouded the darkness of his corrupted spirit with the spells of concealment learned from the One.

Arueshalae: Oh! There Glorfindel is! But… how exactly did he learn spells from the One? I don’t think it works that way… does it?

Masking his twisted malevolence from wizards and Elves, he lay hidden from even the senses of Elrond and his powerful Elvish sons.

Thalia: But he forgot hobbits! Alas, nobody believed poor Bilbo when he said there was a terrible evil lurking around Rivendell, or much could have been averted!

More years passed, almost another Age. One day, the rumors of war assaulted the quite of Imladris. Messengers arrived from Círdan: the Witch King’s armies were waging a terrible battle against the armies of Gondor and Lindon. The Lord of the Nazgûl had brought large armies and he was close to defeating them. They beseeched Elrond and his Elvish forces at Imladris for help.

Glorfindel volunteered.

MG: Okay, but… why are we acting like this is news? The Witch-King had been ruling Angmar and leading it in war against the remnants of Arnor for centuries by this point, but Polychron makes it look like Rivendell didn’t even notice until Arthedain had already fallen! Whoops!

Loremaster’s Headache: 153

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 71

It was his opportunity, he insisted to Elrond, to vindicate himself and avenge the torments he’d suffered as a prisoner. Elrond agreed and put Glorfindel in charge of Rivendell’s armies.

Arueshalae: Now, I wasn’t on the Fifth Crusade’s military council, but even so, it doesn’t seem to me like a general who is desperate for revenge is a good person to put in charge of an entire army!

The Elven Prince led them through Eriador to Fornost. There the army of the King of the Ringwraiths was overwhelming the Crown Prince Eärnur and the Men of Gondor. Glorfindel launched a devastating counter-attack. Combining their forces of Men and Elves, they routed the Nazgûl’s armies while Glorfindel went hunting for the Witch King and his Ring. His lust rose high and bright. He wanted that Ring! Fighting his way towards the Witch King, Glorfindel’s hatred grew and all were amazed at the wrath and terrible brilliance of Lord Glorfindel.

Oh, look! See how much he hated orcs!

MG: Yep, because we all know nothing looks more heroic to outside observers than a vengeful rampage in pursuit of a powerful artifact! And of course, even Glorfindel’s confrontation with the Witch-King at the Battle of Fornost had secret eeevil motives!

Feel My Edge: 52

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 72

He slew so many orcs so far ahead of others, Eärnur and his Men fell far behind. Orc after orc fell. No one had ever seen such dreaded power in an Elven Lord. Led by Glorfindel’s hatred, the Men of Gondor and Elves of Rivendell waded into the slaughter.

Far behind the front lines of the Alliance, the Witch King appeared as if from nothing. He wore black robes, a black mask and he rode upon a black horse. Screaming, he drove straight at Eärnur. Glorfindel heard the Witch King and turned his white Elvish horse Asfaloth around, galloping madly back the way he came.

For the first time, the Witch King of Angmar himself knew fear: Glorfindel was hunting him and coming for his Ring!

Arueshalae: Because the Witch-King never knew fear even when his Master was defeated and Mordor fell to the Last Alliance and he and his fellow Nazgul had to go hide themselves in obscurity for centuries to recover their strength? That doesn’t seem plausible to me…

Sensing Glorfindel’s power, the Nazgûl Lord knew he’d be beaten, his body destroyed, his Ring taken from his finger and conquered, because Glorfindel’s hunger exceeded Sauron’s.

MG: So, yeah. Evil!Glorfindel is now totally powerful enough to wrench control of a Ring of Power away from Sauron (great job in corrupting him, there!). Setting aside the improbability of a fallen elf lord becoming more powerful and dangerous than one of the most powerful and cunning of the Maiar, this can’t help but feel like shilling your totally awesome cool new villain (wearing a canon character’s skin, in this case) at the expense of the old ones. The Witch-King is afraid of him! Sauron’s hunger can’t match him! Fear Glorfindel and think he’s badass, dammit!

Bigger, Louder, More!: 36

Take That, Tolkien!: 22

Screaming terrible curses and defiant, the Witch King of Angmar fled.

Thalia: I think you mean “defiance?” “Defiant” isn’t really something one can “scream.” Is it?

Seeing his fear, Eärnur pursued him, swearing to forever destroy him and his evil Ring.

MG: Which is a weirdly heroic way of putting “Earnur was a reckless glory hound and battle junky who was about to bite off way more than he could chew if Glorfindel hadn’t intervened and saved his life.” Seriously, this is not a character who comes off well in the original text!

This, Glorfindel would not allow. Stopping Eärnur, he intended to mark the Nazgûl Lord to fall by him alone and the Ring into his own hands, thus he prophesied, “Do not pursue him! He will not return to this land. Far off yet is his doom, and not by the hand of Man will he fall.”

MG: And now even the prophecy of the Witch-King’s doom as an eeevil ulterior motive! Also, I’ve seen it pointed out elsewhere on the web that while in the English Tolkien is writing in the same word can mean “man” as in “male person” and “Man” as in “human,” Glorfindel and Earnur, as an elf-lord and Gondorian prince, were probably talking in one of the elvish languages. In Quenya, “male person” is ner and “human” is atan – you can’t really confuse that! Sindarin is similar (with dir and adan as the respective cognates). And, considering how the Witch-King was finished, Glorfindel presumably said the Witch-King would not be killed by the former, not the latter… which applies to Eowyn (who is human, but not male), and not to him (Glorfindel is male, but not human). So, uh, bad Polychron (also interesting how this “fake” prophecy created on the spur of the moment to manipulate Earnur still ended up coming true…). Still better than what Yeskov did with it, though…

Feel My Edge: 53

Eärnur had been slowed just enough by Glorfindel’s interference that the Witch King had time to escape.

Arueshalae: …I somehow don’t think that the Witch-King was the one Glorfindel saved from Earnur. Maybe I’m wrong, but doesn’t Earnur’s final fate imply that would have gone the other way around?

He vanished, abandoning the last of his army to fall at the hands of the Alliance.

Although Glorfindel had saved the Ring from destruction, it and the Witch King were gone. Dejected, after the battle he returned to Imladris. There he resumed waiting, always listening, hoping for news of the Nazgûl, Sauron, the One or of any of the other Rings. Unable to contain himself, often he went out hunting, searching mostly for the Ruling Ring.

Thalia: And it somehow sounds like he completely missed Sauron regaining his power in Mirkwood! I’d say he was so busy searching he missed the forest for the trees… but maybe he literally did miss a forest. That seems concerning.

After many more centuries, one dark day Elrond told him the Nazgûl had been spotted.

They were riding black horses through Eriador and hunting for Aragorn, who was returning to Imladris bearing a great and secret burden. Elrond asked Glorfindel if he would help Aragorn, and protect him and his burden, just as he had driven off the Witch King centuries before.

Arueshalae: …and apparently Glorfindel did nothing at all of interest in all the centuries between those two events! Poor man – I don’t think he gets out much, does he?

Glorfindel agreed. Secretly he hoped Aragorn’s burden was a rumor, some clue of knowledge, or in his wildest imaginings, a map or key that would lead him to the Ruling Ring. Riding Asfaloth tirelessly, he searched more fervently than even Elladan and Elrohir, who were especially close to Aragorn, having helped Elrond raise him.

MG: Now, in canon, it’s never explicitly stated that Glorfindel knew that the “great burden” Frodo was carrying was the One Ring itself… but I always thought the implication was that he did know. But, of course, Polychron’s Glorfindel is eeeevil and would have totally stolen the Ring had he known the truth, so of course he has to be kept inexplicably ignorant of it and never guesses that the mysterious and valuable “burden” sought by Sauron might be the object of his singular obsession. Also, per Glorfindel’s canon self, he wasn’t the only rider sent out to look for Aragorn and the hobbits – there were apparently only a handful of people Elrond trusted to stand against the Ringwraiths, but Glorfindel was only one of them, albeit the one who actually caught up with the company in time.

Loremaster’s Headache: 154

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 74

On a cool Autumn day, Glorfindel found Aragorn on the Great East Road, in late October. He was walking slowly, accompanied by three little halflings,

Thalia: As opposed to the rare and elusive Giant Halflings?

arrayed fearfully about him. A fourth, named Frodo Baggins, was being carried on a pony. Frodo bore a lethal wound from a Morgul blade, driven into his shoulder by the Witch King himself. Aragorn volunteered the information that it was the hobbit Frodo who bore the burden, but Glorfindel couldn’t think of a way to ask Frodo what his burden was or find a private moment to search him.

Arueshalae: *flatly* Really. This powerful and charismatic elf-lord, who Aragorn trusts implicitly, couldn’t find any way to manage those simple things? I can think of at least three, and I’m not even trying – I don’t do this sort of thing anymore! Glorfindel has supposedly brooded on this one goal for thousands of years. *whispers* I don’t think he’s very good at this…

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 75

Yet he felt the power of Sauron hanging about the hobbit.

As the day faded and it became darker, the dark power grew until it covered the hobbit like a shroud. Glorfindel believed this was solely because of the splinter of the Morgul blade embedded in Frodo’s shoulder. But even this barest brush with Sauron’s power, however slight, secretly thrilled him. He did his best to heal Frodo in order to prolong his contact with these growing malefic forces.

Thalia: *shudders* This is sounding very creepy… I don’t like this…

Arueshalae: Desna help me, it’s worse than I thought… he’s sensed all of this, and still hasn’t recognized the source of it? Even when the Ring is clearly drawing him like a moose to a flame? *notices Thalia’s odd expression, sighs* The expression isn’t “moose,” is it? I was afraid of that… Anyway, the point is, Glorfindel is still really bad at this!

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 76

During their return to Imladris, the Nazgûl found them. Glorfindel commanded his Elvish horse to flee, sending Frodo racing across the Ford of Bruinen on Asfaloth’s back.

But that stupid hobbit stopped his horse on the far side of the Ford, barely in Imladris, not fully protected by the power of Elrond and far too close to the Ringwraiths. Frodo stood in Asfaloth’s stirrups shouting in some feeble misguided display of defiance.

MG: And clearly this extremely learned and powerful elf never realized that the Nazgul were exerting their will over Frodo (presumably the Morgul-shard and/or the Ring itself gave them an opening) to make him wait. *headdesk* In trying to write Glorfindel as an evil mastermind while also keeping him roughly true to his portrayal in canon, Polychron has just written him as perhaps the most utterly obtuse elf alive.

The Nazgûl cried in unison and Glorfindel heard for the last time the sound of Sauron’s voice, calling all the way from Mordor. Then the scheming of Elrond and the depths of his own stupendous folly were revealed: “‘The Ring! The Ring!’ they cried with deadly voices.’”

MG: Yes, that bit in quotes is a direct quote from FotR. No, I don’t know why Glorfindel thinks that Sauron is literally speaking through his servants, especially as they self-reference as “we” during the same scene. Last I checked, Sauron wasn’t plural.

The realization struck like a hammer: The One he had longed for, dreamed of, imagined on his finger for over three thousand years, had been right in front of him the last three days, carried by Frodo Baggins, the hobbit he had literally held helpless in his hands.

Arueshalae: *sighs wearily, facepalms*

When three of the Nazgûl entered the Ford to claim the Ruling Ring, Elrond unleashed the waters in a massive flood, arrayed in the form of White Riders by the power of Gandalf the Grey. The Ringwraiths were caught in the floodwaters amid boulders. As their horses were drowning, they were crushed and swept away. Enraged, Glorfindel threw off his body, stripping away all semblance of human shape and form, manifesting his wrath at the deception of Elrond and driving it into the Nazgûl like a burning iron spike.

MG: I don’t think Glorfindel can do that? Throwing off his body, I mean. Sure, we see at various points where powerful magical beings can “unveil” themselves (Gandalf, Galadriel, and the Witch-king all do it at various points) but that doesn’t change them physically, it just makes the aura of power they carry with them tangible to everyone. And while Frodo, before he passes out, briefly sees Glorfindel as a figure of shining light in the “wraith world,” Gandalf indicates (and he would know!) that any sufficiently powerful High Elf (or, presumably, Maia) would appear in the same way on that “side.” From what we see of that scene, all Glorfindel does is “unveil” himself while Aragorn and the hobbits light some branches on fire and charge with those, to disorient the remaining Nazgul and drive them into the flooding river.

Against an Elven Lord, the Nine together might have stood – and even won. Against this Elvish Lord, whose malice had been amplified by the corrupting power of Sauron, not even the Nine united could withstand.

MG: Yeah, not buying it. Gandalf – who, again, knows about this stuff – is explicit that not even Glorfindel and Aragorn together can withstand all of the Nine at once. Gandalf himself seemingly isn’t powerful enough to do that – he describes how they attacked him on Weathertop, and the best he could do was hold them off until dawn, when the sun weakened them enough for him to escape. Unless Glorfindel has gained powers greater than one of the Maiar, he shouldn’t be anywhere near strong enough to sweep all of the Nine away so easily.

Bigger, Louder, More!: 37

Loremaster’s Headache: 155

He drove five Ringwraiths into the floodwaters, while that stupid Dúnedain and those pathetic little hobbits jumped up and down yelling pointlessly, waving burning matchsticks.

Thalia: There’s no need to be rude! How dare they try to help, using one of the enemies’ weaknesses that’s been effective against them before! Clearly, the great Glorfindel needs no help! I’ve seen men who think that way before. Usually, just before someone else punches them out in a bar fight.

Eight Nazgûl rode into the waters and their horses perished. All Nine were unmade, the last who tarried on the shore by Glorfindel’s fury alone.

MG: Hail the great Glorfindel, who can apparently dissolve Ringwraiths by sheer force of will but doesn’t know the object of his millennia-long obsession when he finds it! Also, per FotR, it sounds like the Nazgul weren’t “unmade,” they just had their robes and armor swept away by the flood and their horses killed. They, uh, kind of need those “to give form to their nothingness when they have dealings with the living,” and had to return to Mordor as spirits to get “new shapes to wear and new steeds to ride” from their Master. They were explicitly not in any way destroyed.

Loremaster’s Headache: 156

The last time the Witch King faced Glorfindel, Sauron had learned it was folly to send the Nazgûl so far beyond his borders wearing their Rings. Though it diminished their power, the Dark Lord now kept their Rings on his own hands.

MG: So, I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve actually seem some rather extensive debates in LotR fandom about the physical location of the Nine Rings – did each Nazgul bear their own ring, or did Sauron keep them all with him in Barad-dur to maintain control over them? The general conclusion seemed to be that you can find support in the text for either view. But, needless to say, “fear Glorfindel specifically would steal the Nine Rings” doesn’t seem to have entered into Sauron’s calculations either way.

Glorfindel prepared to launch himself over the surface of the flood, catch Frodo Baggins and seize the Ruling Ring.

Arueshalae: *flaps her own wings experimentally* Excuse me, but Frodo is on the opposite side of a rather large river from Glorfindel right now – a river that’s flooding, even! Is Glorfindel planning to pole-vault his way across? Which seems unlikely, but might be kind of fun to watch?

Before he could, Frodo fell from Asfaloth’s back and was picked up by Elladan and Elrohir, the Sons of Elrond. Within them, the Power of their father burned.

Thalia: *whispering* I think Elrond is empowering his sons like warlocks. Is anyone else worried about this?

Led by the Elven Lord Erestor and a few others, the twins carried Frodo to Imladris.

There Elrond healed him and secured the Ruling Ring on a golden chain, hanging it around the wounded hobbit’s throat. The twins departed, searching for any vestige of the Nazgûl. Gandalf or Elrond took turns guarding Frodo and the Ring. It was Elladan and Elrohir who found the eight dead horses and the tattered remains of one of the Ringwraith’s cloaks.

Now Glorfindel knew exactly where Sauron’s Ruling Ring of Power was. But with Gandalf and Elrond present, it would be folly to seize the Ring. They would instantly know and marshal the entire population of Imladris to oppose him. Any attempt to defeat two of the most powerful beings in Middle-earth, his mighty sons and a city of Elvish warriors, without time to learn to harness the many abilities of the Ruling Ring, was destined to fail.

Arueshalae: Has the great Glorfindel considered that guile might serve him where force fails? Surely, if everyone trusts him so much, he could talk them into putting him in charge of Frodo’s security, especially considering his heroics at the ford? And that from there, he could rather easily steal the Ring while Frodo was asleep, and steal away from the valley at night long before anyone knew it, or he, was gone? Not a perfect plan, but I thought of it in all of five seconds, and Glorfindel has brooded on this one thing for an entire Age. I think he can manage better!

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 76

Agony gripped him by the throat – for months.

Arueshalae: Has he had a healer look at that? It sounds nasty!

Healed, Frodo Baggins and his kin gaily laughed, sang, danced and skipped about the halls of the House of Elrond, like the imbeciles they were.

Thalia: I think Elrond has larger concerns. Someone has clearly spiked the miruvor! It must be… Lindir! That fiend!

It was almost impossible to endure. It came closer to breaking him than anything had before, as terrible a torture in its own way as those he had suffered at the hands of Sauron.

When Elrond called a Council and spoke of destroying the One, Glorfindel hid his horror by speaking up and affirming it had to be done. After calming down, he backtracked, trying to convince them to drop the Ring into the ocean. There, he knew he would be able to find it.

MG: Apparently “deep-sea diving” is among Glorfindel’s many skills. Seriously, between this and the earlier bit with the Anduin, I really don’t think Polychron has a good sense of how hard trying to find a small object in a deep, large body of water where you’ll mostly have to search by touch would be! Also, note how obviously Polychron is trying to weld his Glorfindel into canon’s version. I don’t think it’s working…

They refused, deciding to send Frodo and the Ring to Mordor to be unmade.

Later in private he apologized, telling Elrond he would do anything to defeat Sauron and avenge the torments he had suffered; even at the cost of his own life, which he would gladly sacrifice, he confided, to aid the Ringbearer carrying the Ruling Ring to the Crack of Doom.

Did Elrond suspect him?

Arueshalae: Well, I don’t think you’ve been very subtle, but maybe Elrond just wants to believe the best of his friend?

He would never know. He believed Elrond must have. Always, those who had survived the tortures and torments of the Enemy and returned had been mistrusted and shunned, just as Glorfindel was now shunned.

Arueshalae: *flatly* You are Elrond’s closest friend and advisor, the one he entrusts with military command and secret missions. Clearly, this means he’s shunning you? I don’t think you know what “shunning” means?

He couldn’t think of any other reason Elrond wouldn’t make him one of the Nine companions in the Company of the Ring, going with the hobbits to Mordor.

MG: Well, per canon, it seems like Elrond probably was considering Glorfindel, and maybe another member of his household too (Erestor? One of his sons? Someone else?) for the last two slots in the Fellowship. It was Gandalf who talked him out of it and convinced him Merry and Pippin should go instead, pointing out that raw power would avail little on the quest and even Glorfindel wasn’t powerful enough to break them into Mordor on his own. I think this is supposed to be Glorfindel, who has supposedly become like Sauron, demonstrating the same “evil cannot comprehend good” flaw that Sauron also had… but even so, he’s blaming the wrong person! Take it up with the wizard!

There, he would wait for the perfect opportunity, kill Frodo and take the Ruling Ring.

Yet no matter how hard he pinned for it, he knew Elrond would never make him one of the Companions. On the day Elrond announced it wasn’t Erestor, not Gildor, nor Galdor, Elladan, Elrohir, nor Glorfindel, but the young Prince Legolas, an uncultured, unlearned, almost helpless child-prince of a woodland Elf who would represent the Elves, Glorfindel could barely contain his fury. His body burned for days with the greatest hatred he had ever known.

Thalia: Do you… need a minute? And wouldn’t Glorfindel have gone along with Legolas, not in place of him? Since it would have been Merry or Pippin’s place he’d have gone in? Or is Glorfindel just so angry he can’t count anymore?

On the evening the Company of the Ring set out on foot (on foot!?),

MG: *flatly* Yes, so sorry that not every member of the Fellowship is a skilled equestrian (the hobbits and Gimli definitely aren’t!). I’ll also note that Gandalf indicates he always feared they’d be forced to pass through Moria or take other dark, dangerous roads a horse couldn’t safely traverse; he didn’t even want to bring Bill the Pony.

Glorfindel hid and watched them leave, departing Imladris on roads unknown, for Mordor.

Arueshalae: *blankly* Which was certainly much less suspicious than just… standing openly and watching them leave with the rest of Elrond’s household?

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 77

For weeks, he argued with himself. What could he say, what excuse could he give? In an agony of uncertainty, he couldn’t decide how to leave without arousing Elrond’s suspicions. This would have resulted in his being followed by Elladan or Elrohir. Their watchful presence was a veiled threat. They seethed with hidden power, seldom spoke and always seemed about, yet were rarely seen.

At last, Glorfindel despaired. Even if he left now in secret, his doubts had produced too large a delay. He would never find the path taken by the Fellowship of the Ring. He should have left immediately and waylaid them in the woods, risking the wrath of Gandalf and pitting his power against the wizard’s own and the might of the members of the Company of the Ring.

Arueshalae: So, the only options he can think of are “do nothing” or “frontal assault.” Despite having supposedly been manipulating people for millennia. I really am starting to think Glorfindel just isn’t very bright…

Weeks turned to months.

Often, he imagined if he had one of the palantíri, as Saruman and Círdan had,

MG: …as I see Polychron continues to not understand how the Elostirion-stone works (hint: unless the Fellowship doubled back and took a ship to Valinor together, Cirdan probably isn’t watching them with it!).

Loremaster’s Headache: 157

he could watch them from his room and see the roads they’d taken. With the Ring now far beyond his reach, many paths seemed clear, which earlier had failed to come to mind.

His self-inflicted torments were terrible. They were so severe, they were worse than what he’d felt from the convicted, while sitting before the Valar in their circle of thrones on the hill of Máhanaxar in Aman. Called the Ring of Doom, there he had watched in terror while the Valar exiled Fëanor.

MG: The hells? Feanor himself wasn’t at Mahanaxar when the Valar exiled him – he received the news from a Maia herald, possibly Eonwe himself. Glorfindel certainly wouldn’t have been there either, as he’d have been among the exiles (presumably in Turgon’s entourage, since he ended up in Gondolin).

Loremaster’s Headache: 158

Later, they reviled and condemned the Valar Melkor. Beheading him, they cast the dismembered pieces of his body into a prison at the bottom of the Void.

Thalia: I wasn’t aware the Void had a bottom. Or a top. Or prisons. I thought it was more of a… void. Does Polychron not know what “void” means? And that if there are discrete things in it, it probably isn’t one? Should someone… tell him?

Glorfindel had no way to know that beside his own never-ending, merciless self- condemnations, the swift Judgement of the Valar would have paled.

MG: So, literal divine judgment < Glorfindel’s self-inflicted angst. Got it.

The day came when he could no longer endure his self-inflicted torments. He gave Elrond an inane excuse to leave, nothing at all profound: the simplest, most meaningless thing.

It was enough.

Elrond already had too many weighty concerns. He could not bother with the doings of every idle Elven Lord within the halls of Imladris.

Arueshalae: So, after all of Glorfindel’s inner torment about how hard it was going to be to get Elrond to let him leave Rivendell… Elrond just shrugged and let him go for no reason? That’s quite a letdown. And also an insult to anyone who’s ever had to practice deception or espionage, but I think we all knew that. And I’m really kind of amazed that, in the middle of the War of the Ring, Elrond thought that letting his strongest warrior just wander off somewhere was a smart thing to do and wasn’t suspicious at all.

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 78

Glorfindel rode away and accepted the bitter truth: he had been a self-sabotaging, self- defeating fool with no one to blame for his failures but himself.

Arueshalae: And then did this epiphany lead him to do some intense soul-searching, recognize how far he had fallen, and commit himself to turning his life around and becoming once more the hero he had once been? *sighs sadly* I didn’t think so.

Enraged, in the wilds he rode east. If he encountered Elves, Men or Beasts, in his wrath he slew them all. Crossing north over the Misty Mountains in the heart of winter, he never felt the cold. Wherever he went, the fires burning in his heart melted the snows.

MG: *flatly* And I’m sure all the elves who died crossing the Grinding Ice back in the First Age would just be thrilled to learn they could just have… willed the cold away by the power of being really pissed off. Seriously, elves are resistant to extremes of temperature, but this is kind of ridiculous!

Past Erebor and the Iron Hills, fording the delta of the Rivers Celduin and Carnen recalled to him the Gladden Fields, where he’d stood within a hair’s breadth of the One and failed, because Elrond had kept him from the One.

Thalia: *boggles* If he was trying to follow the Fellowship, how in the world did he end up near the Iron Hills? That’s nowhere near Mordor, is it? I think Glorfindel just can’t read maps – or maybe I can’t!

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 79

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 22

Elrond! He cursed his name and swore an Oath: once he had the Ring, through its Power, or if by chance he found some other way to hurt Elrond and make him pay for his humiliations and defeats, then Elrond and all his kin would suffer.

Arueshalae: I’d liked to kindly remind Glorfindel how well swearing an oath like that worked out for Feanor, but he’s clearly too far gone at this point to remember his own history, much less someone else’s!

Ever faster and more desperate, he rode Asfaloth through the Northern Wastes, across the whole of the Wilderlands and into Rhûn. Crossing north of the Sea of Rhûn, he turned south to the borders of Khand. Passing the forts along the road between Rhûn and Khand, he learned one of Sauron’s greatest secrets, discovering hoarded sources of hidden wealth and power.

Arueshalae: …is Polychron going to tell us what that is, or are we just supposed to take Glorfindel’s word for it?

MG: Also note him taking the really long way around to Mordor, despite already being months behind the Fellowship. Either Glorfindel’s not in nearly as much of a hurry as he wants us to think, or Asfaloth can teleport.

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 23

In Rhûn he turned west over the plains and entered the unguarded borders of Mordor from the east, unopposed. There he slew a great many men and their Fell Beasts. Never having felt such a wantonness to kill and destroy, he exulted in his newfound freedom and savagery. The armies of Mordor had been emptied from the lands and he rode where he willed, searching, ever searching, for the essence of Frodo Baggins corrupted by the Ruling Ring.

Thalia: That just makes it sound like he’s sniffing Frodo out. Ew. Also, apparently Sauron never noticed someone entering his realm and murdering his servants in a rampage? Is this what passes for the gaze of the Lidless Eye these days?

On a Spring morning, the Sun never rose and the skies remained black.

Then he felt it, the faintest tug, the pull: the draw of that dark and wonderful corruption of noble hobbit and Shadow Arts.

Thalia: Frodo Baggins performed one of the greatest acts of self-sacrifice in the history of Middle-earth by bearing the One Ring to Mordor… but his faculty with shadow puppets, it must be said, was just sad.

Loremaster’s Headache: 159 (what the hells are “Shadow Arts?” Did Shar somehow extend the Shadow Weave to Arda from Faerun?)

It told him he was approaching Frodo and the Ruling Ring. He rode harder. Days later in the distance, there arose the high sundered slopes of Orodruin. Upon his mount he flew, driving Asfaloth as he never had, and he didn’t care that at any moment he might burst his horse’s heart because he sensed up the mountain carried by Frodo, the Ruling Ring ascended ever higher, coming closer and ever closer to the Crack of Doom.

Arueshalae: And even though this person who is supposedly one of Sauron’s greatest enemies was riding up the slopes of Sauron’s mountain, near Sauron’s citadel, without seeming to bother to conceal his presence or power… Sauron never noticed him. *she sighs* I secretly passed information to the Crusaders from behind the demon lines for years; keeping my activities hidden took every ounce of cunning I possess, and I was only discovered when I was desperately trying to warn the city of Kenabres that it was about to be attacked and got sloppy. I have a feeling that if this version of Sauron had been commanding the Abyss’s forces, I wouldn’t have had to bother. I could have been openly carrying a banner proclaiming my allegiance to Desna, and he’d never have noticed.

Plot-Induce Stupidity: 80

Long before he reached Orodruin a terrible cry rang out. High overhead, faster than any wind ever blew, the Nazgûl flew on Fell Beasts with wide-webbed bat-like wings. They passed so high above him screeching, they were actually out of even his sharp Elvish sight.

Monstrous howls erupted from their suddenly flaring forms and for a moment he could see them. They flickered brightly – then went out.

MG: So… yeah. Glorfindel made it to Mount Doom literally just as the One Ring was being destroyed. What’re the odds? It also means that Sauron was looking right at the mountain at the time and still missed him somehow (instead of noticing him and assuming he was in on the plot).

The ground shook and fractured. The lands heaved, buckled and broke. Far away like a scar on the sky stood the Tower of Barad-dûr. It shuddered, shook, and with the rending of steel and stone, the Dark Tower of Mordor shattered and the ruins came crashing down.

MG: Tolkien’s version of this sequence contains some of his most powerful writing (especially the brief glimpse we get of Sauron’s POV). Looking at Polychron’s in comparison… yeah, I’ll take Tolkien’s. Also, Glorfindel seems really blasé about the fact that he’s standing in the middle of a giant volcanic eruption.

Glorfindel knew the truth of the terror burning wildly in his heart: The One, the Ruling Ring of Sauron, the Ring of Power he had lusted for and even loved, as only a dark corrupted thing can love, had been thrown into the fires of Orodruin and now – was no more.

He reined his horse, fell to the ground and wept the bitterest tears he had ever known.

The Ring was gone. Gone. His Ring!

Thalia: The Ring you were forced to wear as part of your torture? While I know that inspiring obsessive covetousness in people is a property of this artifact… that still seems rather presumptuous of him to describe it that way, no?

He realized he had nothing else to live for. Why wait long ages in desolation, hoping for some mischance to bring his end?

MG: It does feel worth pointing out, again, that “slain by grief” is absolutely something that can literally happen to Tolkien elves. Just for the record.

He rose and sprang upon Asfaloth’s heaving back. Seeing Orodruin vomiting fire into the sky and bleeding flames down her sundered slopes, the time had come to throw himself into the Crack of Doom and join his love in death.

Arueshalae: It is my understanding that Gollum only became this obsessed after bearing the Ring for literally centuries. Glorfindel was only in its presence a few times, that we saw, was forced to wear it for only some of those… I think he’s worse off even than Gollum! I don’t know what to make of this, but it seems… not good.

The moment before he spurred his horse forward to be lost in the wake of his own passing, from the sky where a minute before he had watched the flames of the Nazgûl bursting out of existence, there fell a golden Ring of Power set with a black Cat’s Eye Scapolite stone.

Not far from him it came down and struck an outcropping of rock with a high ‘ting.’

MG: So… yeah. After the Nazgul were consumed by the fires of Mount Doom, their rings of power not only somehow survived (canon never specifies the fate of the Nine Rings… but I think the general consensus is that were either consumed with their bearers, or were destroyed when Barad-dur fell if that’s where they were, with the possible exception of the Witch-King’s ring, which if it was on him when he perished at the Pelennor Fields likely remained there – but still would have lost its powers when the One was destroyed) but literally fell out of the sky right at Glorfindel’s feet. Sure, they were heading for Mount Doom, and he’s on it, but even so… Mount Doom is big. Mordor as a whole is bigger. Just… just wow.

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 24

Bouncing twice, it rolled unevenly into a sloping ravine and came to a stop behind a rock.

Not daring to believe the impossibility of the chain of events leading him to this exact spot at that very moment,

Thalia: I’m not, either. I suspect darker and more sinister forces at work here, twisting fate itself to serve their wicked designs…

he rode to the rock and dismounted. Trembling, he picked up the Ring. It was the Ring that Sauron had told the Elves and Dwarves of Edhilon was named Tilion, the Ring of the Moon, Transformation, Journeys, and unexpected fortune. But secretly in Barzhûrk, he named it Harma, the Ring of Possession, Madness, Lunacy, Maimings and Scars.

MG: So… yeah. Remember what I said about Polychron giving all the Rings of Power really long, pompous names? We’re going to be seeing a lot more of it, practically getting a new rundown every time one of the rings shows up. Have fun!

Rings-a-Palooza: 82

It was one of the Nine Rings of Power forged for the Men that others called the Nazgûl Kings.He put it on the third finger of his right hand and felt what he had not experienced in over three thousand years: the hot and dark touch of the power of Sauron flowing through him – giving Lust and purpose to his life and golden light.

Arueshalae: Why are we capitalizing “lust?” Far be it from me to judge, but… just what are you planning to do to that ring, Glorfindel?

MG: And, as should go without saying, all the Rings of Power lost their power when the One was destroyed. This should just be a piece of fancy jewelry now, and nothing more. That all of the Rings are still functioning when they shouldn’t be is perhaps the biggest plot hole in this entire fic full of them.

Loremaster’s Headache: 159

It was not the One.

Thalia: …I’m happy he’s still lucid enough to recognize that? I seriously have to wonder…

No. Never again would he know such wanton desire and dark delight.

Arueshalae: *looking very uncomfortable* Seriously, Glorfindel – what are you planning to do with that ring?

But this Ring of Power corrupted by Sauron, this Ring of the Nazgûl, though lesser, it would do.

He also knew where there was one, doubtless, there were two; and maybe more, perhaps eight more Rings of Power waiting on the plains between him and Barad-dûr. He also knew in the ruins of the Tower there were at least three more of the Seven.

MG: All of which should now be powerless. And of course, digging them out of the ruins would be no problem at all! I’m really starting to think Polychron just doesn’t grasp scale. Absolutely everything in this fic is either too big or too small.

With a new purpose and a plan, he extended his senses over the plains. His mind was now attuned to the essence of these Rings, guided by the power of the one he wore. He heard them. Their fading voices called to him, yearning for him to claim them. It was as if they knew, his power could preserve what remained of the dark desire and fading power of Sauron.

Before he could act, over the plain came a thunderous and piercing SCREEE! It shattered his thoughts and filled his heart with dread.

Overhead in the far distance but coming fast flew Gwaihir, King of Eagles, the Windlord.

Beside him flew his brother Landroval and following after came Meneldor, young and swift. Faster than the winds, they passed over the plains of Mordor flying towards Mount Doom.

MG: And now we’re getting even more of Polychron’s lifeless recapping of LotR’s climax. Yaaaay. *rolls their eyes*

On Gwaihir’s back rode Gandalf. His robes and essence were no longer grey but white, bright white, a Valarin white so bright it hurt the dark corrupted spirit in his eyes to look upon.

MG: Again, this may be another nitpick, but… while Gandalf, like Glorfindel himself, returned stronger from death, his white robes were not from Valinor. He came back to life naked. Gwaihir the Windlord then bore him from Zirakzigil to Lorien, where he was robed in white by Galadriel. But I guess “a Lorien white” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Loremaster’s Headache: 160

While Gandalf’s senses and the Eagles’ eyes were focused on Mount Doom, Glorfindel hid himself and Asfaloth in the ravine. There he wove another spell to shroud the presence, power and essence of all the Rings of Power laying fallen on the plain.

Gandalf passed insensate, not thinking the power of the Nine had been diminished and was fading: he was deceived by Glorfindel’s spells into believing they had gone out.

Thalia: But surely Gandalf’s own Ring, Narya, would have also lost its power when the One was destroyed? And Gandalf noticed that? And that’s how he knew the other rings had also lost their power? I don’t think he has any sort of Rings-of-Power detection magic, does he? Or maybe he does?

MG: No, he doesn’t, or identifying that Bilbo’s ring was the One wouldn’t have taken so much time and effort on his part. And do note the totally-not-at-all-obvious handwave of why Gandalf would think the Rings of Power had all been rendered powerless, which doesn’t actually answer anything when you think about it.

Happy-Ending Override: 11 (now that we have confirmation of how the Nine Rings survived)

Loremaster’s Headache: 161

When in truth, coupled with the Elven power of Glorfindel, the Rings of Power of Sauron now lived on. They gave purpose to his life, and his life and power gave voice to the evil of their Master who had forged them; his hatred echoing loudly within the corrupted bands of gold.

In the event, it was easy.

The Nazgûl had flown out over the Gates of Mordor together. Almost in formation, they had flown towards Orodruin at Sauron’s call. Even if the Sun had not risen in the east, Glorfindel would have almost effortlessly found the Rings by thought alone.

Arueshalae: …and somehow they still existed even though their bearers were just consumed by fire? And I thought this chapter just confirmed that Sauron didn’t let the Nazgul bear the own rings anymore – but now they did have them? What… what is even going on here anymore? Why is any of this happening? Desna, help me!

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 25 (or finding rings at the speed of plot, at least)

He laughed madly at the irony. For thousands of years he had brooded, trying to conceive a way by overwhelming power or intricate deceit to find a single Ring of Power. Now, a wealth of Rings had literally fallen out of the sky around him. Tremulous, he gathered seven more of the fallen Nine. Then, despite using all his power to extend his senses, he could not find the Ninth.

Thalia: Glorfindel, you’re worrying me. I’m told the first step is admitting when you have a problem…

It had to wait. Over the plains rode a horror of a female shape on a terror of a horse. Her name was Thüringel and her skin was grey, as if she were already dead. Worms, lice, ticks and maggots writhed through her hair, leaving dark trails of infection on her hideously twisted face.

MG: So, yeah. It’s time to meet one of the fic’s other big bads, Thuringel, in the flesh. I’m genuinely not sure what she is – evil Maia? Undead human? Fallen elf? Something else? I don’t recall if it’s ever specified – but do note the absolutely lovely description of her corpsy, maggot-infested self.

Feel My Edge: 54

The Unfair Sex: 29 (if the description alone wasn’t a tip-off, this character has… issues)

As she rode forward, her eyes and senses were on the ground, searching for fallen Rings. As her forehead strained in concentration, on the third finger of her left hand she wore a golden Ring of Power. Its amber gem glowed brightly and she poured her power into a spell.

It was one of the corrupted Seven, originally given to a great Dwarven king, Malda the Ring of Gold, but in Barzhûrk, Sauron named it Húnamírë, the Ring of Cursed Treasure; and suspended within the amber, the forever imprisoned horror of a small but ancient dead thing.

Arueshalae: I… guess that might help in necromancy?

Rings-a-Palooza: 83

After Sauron had reclaimed the Ring, he gave Malda to Thüringel as a bride-price. He wanted to know her thoughts as they practiced dark perversions and Lusts in Barad-dûr. With the start of the War of the Ring, Sauron had grown neglectful of her dark desires. Yet he guarded her jealousy from his Captains, unlike the other women he often defiled and discarded. So Thüringel was not in Barad-dûr as the Dark Tower fell.

Arueshalae: Now “lusts” with a capital is talking about… actual lusts. Now I’m very concerned about what Glorfindel wants all those rings for! I can think of some ideas, from another life… but I probably shouldn’t mention them in polite company.

MG: Also, I guess we can take this as proof that Sauron did in fact have a harem, or at least a stable of sex slaves. *shudders* That sounds so like him, you know? /s. And I have to wonder about all these “Captains” (which would be… who? I doubt the Nazgul would care!) who apparently can’t resist Sauron’s concubine. Expressing any interest at all that way sounds… suicidal. Sauron doesn’t share power, and I doubt he’d share his girlfriend, either, in the unlikely event he had one.

Feel My Edge: 55

Pervy Hobbit Fanciers: 31

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 81

When she reached Glorfindel, he smiled and held up his hands, displaying on his long fingers, eight golden Rings of Power set with black gems, which he now wore and ruled. She laughed wickedly. Her body shimmered and shifted, changing into a maidenly beautiful yet foully voluptuous form. Her hard eyes burned with fire. Her soft skin dripped with desire, as lovely and lustful a creature as any a corrupted Elven Lord could ever hope for – or imagine.

Thalia: *notices Arueshalae’s expression* What?

Arueshalae: *sighs* Just… nostalgia.

Pervy Hobbit Fanciers: 32

The Unfair Sex: 30 (I think the phrase “foully voluptuous” deserves a point)

As armies fell or fled and Eagles passed by high overhead, flying west once more, Glorfindel and Thüringel coupled wildly on the sundering plains of Mordor. While all around them cities burned, the earth erupted fire, and goblins, orcs, trolls, men and Fell Beasts died.

Arueshalae: Have you considered… getting somewhere safer to do that? Though I suppose it would be ironic if they got smashed by a falling boulder from Orodruin or stampeded by a regiment of fleeing orcs while in the throes of passion…

MG: And do remember that though Thuringel shapeshifted into a more beautiful form, we got that lovely description of her maggot-infested self immediately before she became a participant in a sex scene (and of course, what LotR was missing all along was kinky undead villain sex). Have fun with that. No, no, this author doesn’t have issues with women at all, why are you asking?

Feel My Edge: 57

Pervy Hobbit Fanciers: 33

The Unfair Sex: 31

Afterwards they lay together naked on the plain and whispered bitter somethings in each other’s ears, hatching plans and plots for the conquest of the East and the downfall of the West.

Arueshalae: I guess it’s supposed to be the opposite of “sweet nothings” and therefore ironic? *she shrugs* It doesn’t sound very sexy to me but what do I know, I’m only *glances down at herself* you know. I think my beloved and I have much better things to talk about while we’re alone – and no, I’m not sharing!

MG: And so… yeah, Glorfindel and Thuringel are a couple, and are working together, though since they do seem to also have their own personal plans and ambitions, I’m not really counting it as cutting down the number of active villains in any meaningful way. And speaking of…

Shattering their idyls, it had not been long before there came a terrible roar. Charging, came the thundering horror of Lungorthin, a monstrous burning Balrog, the Captain of the Tower of Barad-dûr, called by his Men, the Gauntlet of Sauron.

Thalia: But his orcs called him things that were best not repeated in public.

MG: And of course, Lungorthin just happened to come charging right by where Glorfindel and Thuringel were doing the deed, because it’s not like Mordor is a very large country that took Frodo and Sam weeks to cross a relatively small slice of or anything!

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 26

Breathing fire, he stormed over the plains. On the third finger of his left hand, he wore a band of mithril set with a glowing silver Moonstone. It was one of the Seven forged by Celebrimbor and corrupted by Sauron.

The Necromancer had told the Mirdainions it was Telperin, the Ring of Mithril. But secretly in Barzhûrk, he named it Cúmana, the Ring of Desolation, Emptiness and Doom. He had given it to a powerful dwarven king to corrupt him and enslave his people. When the dwarves proved hardier than Sauron reckoned, he slew them and reclaimed it.

Thalia: …are we going to get the history of the Rings of Power in brief every time Polychron introduces a new one? That seems decidedly redundant. Perhaps he’s writing for an audience who he expects to read and then forget what they read? That might explain some things!

Rings-a-Palooza: 84

Now, it had been found by his favorite Balrog

Arueshalae: …Sauron had more than one Balrog? *boggles* I mean, logically he’d have to, in order to have a favorite… Desna help us!

Loremaster’s Headache: 162

at the end of the War of the Ring. From the same wreckage, Lungorthin pulled the Palantír of Minas Ithil and carried it in the same hand. It glowed with a dim grey light, revealing many things. But even in this grey light Glorfindel, Thüringel and their Rings lay hidden beneath his spells.

MG: And so… yeah! Apparently digging a Ring of Power and a Palantir out of the wreckage of Barad-dur really is just that easy! Barad-dur, which is so massive the text of LotR repeatedly compares it to a mountain. That Barad-dur. And Lungorthin did it in the time it took Glorfindel and Thuringel to have sex. Yeah, right.

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 27

As Lungorthin’s monstrous body burned with Shadow and Fire, his eyes were on the ground, searching for fallen Rings, and for Thüringel, for whom he lusted and yet hated. For she had ever striven to drive a wedge between him and his Master. In addition to the Rings, he would find and take her by force, and her Ring. Ruined and ravaged, he would end her life, in torments.

MG: Oh, goody, we’ve got another villain who’s a rapist. What’re the odds? *rolls their eyes* And, not to make light of the topic, but… Lungorthin is a Balrog. Balrogs are on fire. I strongly suspect Thuringel would be burned to ash before the deed could be done, should Lungorthin even attempt such a thing!

Feel My Edge: 58

Pervy Hobbit Fanciers: 34

Glorfindel rose before the horror of Lungorthin. Throwing off his human form, he stood naked and exposed for what he truly was: a powerfully dark corrupted Elven Lord, with four black twisted horns of Lust growing from his head, bright copper skin and incandescent golden hair of fire.

Thalia: What. *beat* Why. *beat* How? *beat, rubs her own horns* Also, I don’t think my horns are so much horns of lust as they are of “moderate confusion currently giving me a headache.”

MG: So… yeah, Glorfindel’s corruption has literally transformed him into a horned, glowing, fiery demon. The implication, reinforced next chapter, is that this is an actual, physical transformation, not how his soul appears in the Unseen (which might make marginally more sense) and even though this sort of transformation might make sense for a fallen Maia, it doesn’t really make sense at all for an elf. In the Sil, we see elves, particularly Finrod and Luthien, use glamours of a sort to alter people’s physical appearances, and Luthien is able to physically transform herself and Beren into duplicates of Thuringwethil and Draugluin, but only when she has their pelts to work with. This… I have no idea what’s going on here, beyond “Polychron thought demon!Glorfindel would be cool and hardcore, so Demon!Glorfindel we get!” Also… Glorfindel has “horns of Lust,” which he reveals by turning into a demonic form just after he participated in a sex scene… Glorfindel has literally turned into a horny beast. I have no idea if that was intentional or not; if it was… gods help us all.

Arueshalae: *boggling* It is to my great regret that in my old life I led many noble souls to their downfalls… but I don’t think any of them spontaneously transformed like this? Did Areelu Vorlesh survive, end up in Middle-earth, and experiment on Glorfindel? Is it bad that I think that makes more sense than… whatever this is?

Feely My Edge: 59

Loremaster’s Headache: 163

“Bow to me, Lungorthin! I am your Master. The undisputable Lord of the Rings!”

MG: Unfortunately for Glorfindel, the Balrogs predate the Rings of Power and aren’t intimidated by them, and while he killed a Balrog once before, this time he was naked and unarmed. Lungorthin just laughed and bisected him with his flaming sword. The end.

Seeing eight of the Nine Rings of Power on Glorfindel’s hands, Lungorthin bellowed in white-hot rage. The ground shook. The Fire and Shadow burning around him rose higher. The many tongs of his monstrous whip uncurled through the air and burst into bright fire.

“No, my ‘lord.’” Lungorthin cried. “You are nothing! Thrice cozened and deceived simpleton!

Arueshalae: Well, he’s not wrong…

The hag at your feet has filled your golden hair with lice and your head with lies.

MG: So… I guess Thuringel is still infested with bugs even in her hotter form, then? Sexy! *shudders*

The Unfair Sex: 32

Do you truly believe wearing eight of the lesser Rings, mere trifles, the least of the Rings Sauron ever corrupted – makes you Lord, of anything?”

Glorfindel’s sweet taste of victory turned bitter in his mouth.

“He lies!” Thüringel shrieked. “He would say anything to distract you, so he can kill you, take your Rings and me for himself. For ever I scorned him and ever he lusts for me!”

Thalia: And I guess Thuringel can’t do anything about that without Her Man to protect her? I’m… kind of disappointed, really.

Pervy Hobbit Fanciers: 35

The Unfair Sex: 33

Glorfindel knew it was true. He picked up his sword and strode forward to slay the monstrous fire-breathing Balrog. Lungorthin swung the nine burning tongs of his whip. They ripped into Glorfindel’s naked back and sword arm. He screamed and dropped his sword, falling to the ground in agony. Without having learned to harness the Power of his Rings, he would have fallen to the Balrog King.

MG: See!?

Thüringel rose and screeched a deadly incantation. A golden beam of monstrous force shot from her Ring and struck Lungorthin.

MG: Huh. So, I guess Thuringel is a member of the Sinestro Corps, then? In blackest day, in brightest night…

Loremaster’s Headache: 164 (“shooting energy beams” isn’t how the Rings of Power work!)

Knocking him down, it extinguished the fire of his whips and struck the Palantir of Minas Ithil from his hand.

In this moment of distraction, Glorfindel recovered and rose. Fueled by his fury and galvanized by the Power of his nine new Rings, he picked up his sword and closed on the prone form of Lungorthin, still writhing in agony beneath Thüringel’s bright spells. Neither Lungorthin nor Thüringel doubted Glorfindel would destroy him. Lungorthin would not be the first balrog to fall before Glorfindel in battle.

However, Lungorthin was not one of the lesser, wingless balrogs but a great Balrog Lord.

MG: Okay, so… huh. This line is interesting, and there’s a bit of context as to why. So, for a while back in the 00s I lurked (though I never joined) on a Tolkien fan-forum called the Barrow-downs (which apparently still exists, surprisingly!). Discussions there tended to get very technical about Arda’s worldbuilding and Tolkien’s creative process – the sort of place where you basically needed a working knowledge not only of the Sil but also of the History of Middle-earth to even begin to follow a lot of the discussions, much less meaningfully contribute. For a while, a fan project on there – no idea what ultimately happened with it – was an attempted rewrite of the Sil incorporating more of the material from HoME that Christopher Tolkien either hadn’t discovered when compiling the published Sil or just didn’t know what to do with. No idea if that ever came to fruition.

Why is this relevant, you ask? One issue they ran into was what to do about Balrogs, as Tolkien’s conception of them changed radically over his life. In the Book of Lost Tales Balrogs were basically elite mooks, stronger than orcs but still foot soldiers that existed in the thousands. Later reworking of the mythology increasingly pared their number down but made individual Balrogs more powerful, until we get to the point where Tolkien decided there were probably only about seven of them, but they were Morgoth’s next strongest lieutenants after Sauron, and so powerful that even killing one was enough to earn a person a place in Arda’s pantheon of great heroes. But of course, there were contradictory texts with both versions; one proposed way to square the circle was to separate the seven “greater” Balrogs from the much larger number of “lesser” Balrogs, as different types of entities. I only bring this up now because, aside from being kind of interesting fandom trivia, this is the only place where I’ve ever encountered a division between “greater” and “lesser” Balrogs before this fic. Maybe Polychron just made it up on his own and the resemblance is a coincidence… but the idea that he may have spent time on one of the net’s most strict and picky Tolkien fansites and still come up with, well, this fic just kind of amazes me.

Also, note his attempt to address the perennial “Balrogs – wings or not?” question. I’d… have just stayed away from that one, really. It never ends well.

Cursing them, he grabbed the fallen palantír, spread his wings of Shadow and Fire, and rose into the sky.

MG: …and, I guess “greater Balrogs” can fly, in Polychron’s perception! Durin’s Bane must’ve felt so sheepish when he realized he forgot he could do that…

“Ask the harlot Thüringel about Celebrimbor’s original Rings,” he called down to them. “She would have kept them from you and collected them for herself. They await the one who has the cunning to discover who wields them and the savagery to slay their Keepers, to claim them one by one, gathering them all together and becoming the Master of all that is. This, I go to do.

The day one of us succeeds, the other will fall. And before his death, he will proclaim the first, the last and only true Lord of the Rings!”

Arueshalae: Far be it from me to tell you how to be an evil overlord, but I don’t think “announcing your plan in such detail as to tell your rival how to pursue it himself” is a very smart thing to do?

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 82

When Lungorthin was gone, Thüringel salved Glorfindel’s wounds. Bandaging his back and sword arm, she told him everything she knew of Rings of Power. Then and there, she began training him to use the Rings he wore and she swore she had planned to tell him all she knew before Lungorthin’s lies. For her entire immortal life, she had dreamed of loving an Elven Lord. She had never imagined she would fall in love with one as beautiful as Glorfindel.

Thalia: At least she doesn’t mind horns? *rubs hers again* But it still sounds like her entire life revolves around her man… I’m very disappointed in this character. I was hoping for… more, somehow.

The Unfair Sex: 34

He demanded she prove her love by hand fasting and exchanging from the third finger of their left hands, their most precious Rings. Delighted beyond belief, Thüringel agreed. Hidden invisibly, she removed and gave him one of the Thirteen, Quáco, the Raven’s Ring.

Rings-a-Palooza: 85

In return, he removed and gave her the corpse’s iron ring. The magic leached from his skin by the iron burned her finger, branding her with the Ring Rhyme on the third finger of her left hand. She wept and laughed, celebrating the horror and pain of the trauma of his betrayal, which to her served just as well or even better to unbreakably bond them, as if it were love.

Arueshalae: As I mentioned, there was a time in my life when I led many mortal souls to corruption, through lust, through guile, or other means… and yet, I have absolutely no idea of what just happened here.

MG: Also… I don’t think there’s any indication iron leeches magic in the Legendarium.

Loremaster’s Headache: 165

Later that day, they armed themselves and rode Asfaloth to Barad-dûr, where the Tower and walls had fallen. Now, great hosts strode about the plains plundering, looting and murdering, striving for command of the remnants of Sauron’s armies and his hoarded treasures, especially the mithril. Every one of them imagined himself, the new Dark Lord of Mordor.

MG: Dark Lord of the shattered remnants of what used to be Gorgoroth, I take it? Seriously, Mordor was devasted by earthquakes when the One was destroyed, and the remnants of Sauron’s armies, released from his will, either killed themselves or scattered to the four winds, while the slaves in Nurn founded their own kingdom, recognized by Gondor. What exactly is left here to be lord of?

In maniac fury at his earlier suffering before Lungorthin and enflamed with his newly acquired power of nine Rings, Glorfindel challenged them all and slew more goblins, trolls and orcs than anyone ever had in any of the wars of the Lamps or the Jewels or the Rings.

MG: Well, there were no “goblins, trolls and orcs” yet at the time of the Fall of the Lamps, so you can leave that one out. Otherwise… wow. So hyperbolic. Very amazed.

Bigger, Louder, More!: 38

Long after the armies surrendered, Glorfindel never seemed to tire and he never stopped delighting in gutting and beheading and dismembering until he was stopped by Thüringel beseeching him to spare the soldier’s lives and make them willing subjects or unwilling slaves.

Thalia: “The mightiest man may be slain by one arrow.” I think the original creator of this universe remembered that. I don’t think Glorfindel did – or anyone else did, for that matter, or how could Glorfindel fight whole armies?

Feel My Edge: 60

With his newly conscripted armies, he ordered the ruin and wreckage of Mordor, then painstakingly sifted the debris of the Tower of Barad-dûr. But no matter how long or hard he looked, he failed to find the third dwarven Ring, the ninth Nazgul Ring, nor any more knowledge of Celebrimbor’s original Rings.

The thought of these other Rings filled him with a Lust that rivaled what he once felt for the One.

Arueshalae: *buries her face in her hands* I won’t say anything, I won’t say anything…

But his desire for the Master-ring of Middle-earth, which would have ruled the Ruling Ring, eclipsed anything he had ever felt before.

Bigger, Louder, More!: 40

Take That, Tolkien!: 23

He still greatly desired Thüringel. But he desired power, more. He longed the most to leave her, to search out and find the Master-ring.

Not Thüringel, Lungorthin nor even Sauron could have born it. Glorfindel knew he could.

Thalia: He knows this… how, exactly? Does he have a hunch? Was it revealed to him in a dream? Did he read it in his tea lives? Inquiring minds want to know!

He also knew, a palantír such as Lungorthin now had, would serve his need the best. With the Master-ring undoubtedly hidden somewhere in the west, the time had come at last to return to Imladris, where his searches must be carried out, in secret, and alone.

MG: And so, Chapter Nine comes to a long-overdue end – but we’re still not done with Glorfindel’s story, alas. Anyway, today’s post is… a lot. We have our random digression with Saruman at the beginning (how does Glorfindel know all that, anyway?). We have Glorfindel, scheming and obsessed for millennia, literally fail to recognize the object of his obsession when it’s right under his nose and then proceed to mope around Rivendell in a funk until he just randomly rides off and ends up in Mordor just in time for the Downfall of Sauron and the Nazgul’s rings to literally fall into his lap. He hooks up with Thuringel, a character who seems to embody all the author’s unspoken issues with women in one gross package and gets into an inexplicable fight with Lungorthin, which he somehow survives, and now is on his way to becoming the new Dark Lord. He’s also inexplicably turned into a literal demon, which I’m still trying to wrap my mind around. And the whole thing, in the context of Middle-earth and arguably the context of basic literary competence, makes not a single lick of sense. Just… just wow.

Anyway, next time, Glorfindel will finally wrap up his story as it catches up to the present day with his activities post-War of the Ring, some… interesting assertions about Arda’s nature and metaphysics are made, and the long-delayed Alatar/Glorfindel battle finally happens – and Polychron further proves he has no idea what magical combat in the Legendarium is like. We’ll see you then! Our counts stand at:

Bigger, Louder, More!: 40

Expansion-Pack World: 12

Feel My Edge: 60

Happy Ending Override: 18 (adding a point for the inexplicable rise of a new Dark Lord in Mordor, which should have collapsed)

Linguistic Confusions: 24

Loremaster’s Headache: 165

Pervy Hobbit Fanciers: 35

Plot-Induced Stupidity: 82

Rings-a-Palooza: 85

Take That, Tolkien!: 23

Traveling at the Speed of Plot: 28

The Unfair Sex: 34