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The Fellowship of the King: Volume One of The War of the Rings

By Demetrious Polychron

Alternate Title: Lord of the WTH

SPORKER: MasterGhandalf

SUMMARY

Two decades after the end of the War of the Ring, preparations for celebrating Elanor Gamgee’s twenty-second birthday are interrupted by the arrival of the wizard Alatar, who comes with a warning – dark forces are once again stirring in Middle-earth, and hobbits will once again be called upon to stand against them. But while the story starts off straightforwardly enough… it ends up going off the rails very quickly, displaying a quite shocking lack of understanding not only of Tolkien’s works, but perhaps of basic literary competence itself. Heroes will fall, villains will rise, flashbacks will be had, and Middle-earth will stand on the brink of cataclysm… and if you expect any of it to make a single lick of sense, you will be sorely mistaken.



Introduction )

Table of Contents )
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The Scrolls of the Ancients

By Robert Newcomb

Alternate Title: My Blood Made Me Do It: The Epic Fantasy

SPORKER: MasterGhandalf

SUMMARY
Having stood around doing nothing while Nicholas defeated himself defeated Nicholas and prevented the return of the Heretics, Prince Tristan of Eutracia is… still hiding under the royal palace and not doing anything about his royal duties, even as the country continues to fall apart around him. So, right about where the previous book started, then. Meanwhile, one of Nicholas’s surviving minions (but not a Minion) has set up a surprisingly elaborate slavery and piracy operation, for the sole purpose of capturing one man – Tristan and Shailiha’s illegitimate half-brother Wulfgar, who is supposedly the only person in the world with blood that will let him be as powerful as they are (which, in the grand scope of the series, makes him the second evil counterpart Tristan has had, and he won’t be the last). Wulfgar turns out to be one of the most sympathetic characters Newcomb has ever written… so of course, he proceeds to ruin him as he is set on course for an inevitable climactic(?) clash with his siblings, and an ending that doesn’t so much feel like the conclusion of a trilogy (albeit a trilogy that’s only the first act of a larger story) as it does a place the narrative just stops, absent any meaningful resolution. Because why wouldn’t an arc end that way, right?



Introduction )

Table of Contents )
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Shadows of Doom

By Ed Greenwood

Alternate Title: The Time of Troubles is Going to Start Any Time Now, We Swear!

SPORKER: MasterGhandalf

SUMMARY

The Time of Troubles has come; in response to the theft of the Tablets of Fate, the gods have been cast down from the heavens to Toril, the longer they stay there the more reality itself comes unglued, and in the shadows, the Malaugrym have at long last decided the time has come to conquer Faerun for themselves. And so, Ed Greenwood decides we have to spend the first book of this trilogy… not actually doing anything about that, and instead focus on Elminster, Sharantyr and some new friends thwarting a very banal Zhentarim plot that has nothing to do with any of it. Yay. The good news is that Elminster has been mostly depowered due to some contrived Time of Troubles related shenanigans. The bad news is that Greenwood seems determined to use this opportunity to make sure we all understand that even a powerless Elminster is still Better Than You. Doesn’t that sound fun?



Introduction )

Table of Contents )
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Elminster in Myth Drannor

By Ed Greenwood

Alternate Title: Elminster in the City of Fanservice or A Game of Elves

SPORKER: MasterGhandalf

SUMMARY

Having overthrown the Magelords who ruled his homeland of Athalantar, Elminster has been sent by Mystra on a new mission – travel to the elven kingdom of Cormanthor, there to study the elves’ magic, and eventually to fulfil some unexplained role the goddess intends for him. When he gets there… well, we will get to that plot, eventually. But in the meantime, there’s going to be a whole, whole lot Greenwood’s loving descriptions of scantily clad elves and Elminster thwarting constant assassination attempts, and by the end we’ll probably all be so heartily sick of Cormanthor we’ll be wondering why anyone even wants to save it in the first place. Also, the appropriateness of the book’s title is… debatable. All of this and more awaits in the second installment of the Elminster Trilogy, if you dare…



Introduction )

Table of Contents )

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