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masterghandalfMG: Well, everyone, it’s time for the penultimate chapter of Ed Greenwood’s Spellfire! Last time, Malark met an anticlimactic (and very unpleasant) end, Elminster and the Simbul got it on, and Torm and Rathan gave a random cat to a random kid for reasons I’m not sure on. Today, it’s backstory time! Joining us once again will be Caelum and Errezha!
Chapter Twenty: Revelations at the Rising Moon
Errezha: Our opening quote for this chapter comes from one Mintiper Moonsilver, bard who tells us that By night dark dreams bring me much pain – but always comes, after, bright morning again. Unless it’s cloudy out. Then you’re out of luck.
Caelum: I choose to take it as a positive sign; we’re almost through this book! *beat* But there’s two more after it; damn. Maybe we could get some more help in here for those *he shoots a significant look at MG* Anyway, we open the chapter itself to find Shandril and Narm riding west, after having left Torm and Rathan last time. Apparently Shandril is enjoying the ride, while Narm saw only danger, possible ambush, and concealing shadows – huh, never realized he was that paranoid. Maybe he’s just overreacting to getting blindsided by Malark last time? He does start to lighten up a bit as they approach Deepingdale, and Shandril says that I’ve never really seen these woods before, though I lived but a day’s ride hence – right, because you literally never left the inn where you grew up and, wow, every time I remember that I still can’t quite believe it – and she wishes she could just stay in Highmoon with Narm instead of fleeing half a hundred mad mages. Narm points out that you have the power to slay half-a-hundred mad mages! But Shandril doesn’t want to destroy Highmoon in the process. Powerful mages always destroy things around them. She then wonders if life would be better off without magic, and Narm reminds her that Elminster says it wouldn’t, and that if they’d seen the things he has, they’d understand. Well, personally I kind of think Elminster, the all-powerful wizard, may be a bit biased, but that’s just me. That conversation over, they keep riding, but gradually realize there’s no one around on the road or in the woods, which bothers Shandril, who worries that this might be a sign of danger and that soon they’ll have to deal with wizards with spells crafted to disable me or foil spellfire.
MG: Spoilers but, as I’ve noted previously, there’s exactly one villain in the whole trilogy who seems to have an actual plan for dealing with Shandril’s spellfire, and it still doesn’t work out for him.
Caelum: Right; I think you mentioned that. Well, Narm says that Ah, Shan, you moan a lot! Adventure you wanted, and adventure you have! Okay, wow, people say I’m insensitive sometimes, but that’s kind of a horrible thing to say after everything Shandril’s been through and especially since she’s your wife! Come on, Narm – have a little sympathy! They then remember something Lanseril said about adventure being cursedly uncomfortable, or hurt or afraid, and then telling everyone later that it was nothing. Which kind of seems like a bit of an oversimplification, to me. They then talk about the Harper agents Storm told them to watch out for, who Shandril remembers but Narm has mostly forgotten, and about dangers along the way, which bothers Shandril. Just don’t call me “Magekiller” or suchlike. Remember: they come after me. I’ve no quarrel with them. Narm says he’ll remind the next dozen corpses and, wow, Narm, you’re acting like a real jackass today, aren’t you? Are we sure Narm didn’t get replaced by a Malaugrym when nobody was looking? But Shandril just insists Narm not joke about the killing; I hate it. Never, never do I want to become so used to it that I become careless of my power. She also reminds Narm that if she ever loses her power, she’ll need his magic to protect her – honestly, seems to me that if she loses her power, then nobody would have reason to go after her at all. But Narm just says that he thinks of it often, and they ride on.
Errezha: We then have a scene change, and we’re back with the Cult of the Dragon as Naergoth Bladelord declares with frustration that It seems this Shandril’s fated to grow old unhindered – by us, at any rate. Considering the Cult’s track record thus far, I’m compelled to agree with that assessment. One of the other Wearers of Purple, Salvarad, then tells him – or maybe reminds him; it’s not clear if they’ve discussed this already – that Malark is dead and that he perished at the hands of Shandril Shessair. Actually, I think you’ll find that Malark perished at the hands of Torm and Rathan, who strangled him slowly, robbed his still-living body, and then cut his throat when they were done; Shandril incinerated the corpse only. Naergoth wants to know what other mages they have who can take Malark’s place in the Purple; Salvarad suggests someone named Zannastar who is a capable wizard but also biddable, something Malark was not. He also recommends sending someone else named Thiszult, who is wild - quiet, but reckless. He could be dangerous to us, or brilliant after Shandril, on the assumption that either Thiszult will succeed, and bring the Cult spellfire, or die, in which case the Cult will be freed of a potential loose cannon. Either way, they win. Naergoth worries there’s a third possibility – What if he comes back with spellfire and uses it against us? But Salvarad assures him he knows Thiszult’s true name, so dealing with him won’t be a problem. And why, exactly, is this subplot being introduced in the second-to-last chapter if Greenwood wants us to care about it? Naergoth then agrees to send Thiszult out; The gauntlet this girl runs will bring her down in the end. Salvarad has one stipulation – if we take her alive, she’s mine, Naergoth! Naergoth rather pointedly observes that you can have women much easier than that – yes, ways that don’t involve rape, though these, at least, are characters we’re meant to be rooting against – but Salvarad clarifies that he wants to study her to learn how her spellfire has changed her. As to why he doesn’t want to go after her himself, I am intrigued, Bladelord. I am not suicidal. Naergoth says others have said similar things, but Salvarad says he means it, and the scene ends.
MG: I’ll also note that Thiszult gets dealt with extremely anticlimactically next chapter as Greenwood rushes to tie up all the loose ends he’s introduced, so I’m not sure what the point of introducing him here at all was (when the time could have been used better to set up the book’s actual end boss).
Caelum: Well, we then have a brief scene with Shandril and Narm as they decide to keep riding through the night to reach the Rising Moon as soon as possible, Shandril declaring that I want to see Gorstag again. We then cut to the Rising Moon itself, where the patrons have all gone home and Gorstag is checking the doors while Lureene cleans up. When they’re done, Gorstag walks into the kitchen and has a question for Lureene – I am Gorstag of Highmoon, a worshipper of Tymora and Tempus in my time, and a man of some moderate means. Will you marry me? And, okay, unlike with Shandril and Narm Gorstag and Lureene seem to have known each other for a while, but they only started sleeping together, what, a couple of weeks ago (I still don’t have a good sense of our timeline here…) so this still manages to seem kind of rushed. And Lureene seems to think so too, since she protests that ‘Twas not my intention to – ah, trap you into such a union. But Gorstag asks again, and this time Lureene says that I’d like nothing more in all Faerun than to be your wife, Gorstag.
MG: Also, is it just me, or is that phrasing a little weird? “Faerun” isn’t the world, it’s the name of the continent where most Realms material takes place (the planet as a whole is Toril; “the Realms” is also used colloquially both in and out of universe). And if you take Lureene’s line here and substitute “Europe” or “North America” for “Faerun,” it just sounds kind of bizarre.
Caelum: Huh; yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone use “Avistan” that way, either. Well, Gorstag and Lureene kiss and then suddenly they hear the sound of the door opening behind them, and who should be there, but Shandril! Shandril asks in a small voice if Gorstag can forgive her (for running away, I guess?) but he insists there’s nothing to forgive (just, don’t shut her up in the inn again, okay?) Are you well? Where have you been? Shandril explains that she’s married now, and her husband Narm is taking care of their horses, and then Lureene comes over and hugs Shandril too, and she has to explain that she can’t stay. Half the mages in Faerun are after us, and we’re a menace to you even by being here! Shandril also thinks of Lureene as the older girl, which just makes me wonder how big the age gap between Lureene and Gorstag actually is, especially considering Greenwood’s, ah, history. Lureene then goes on for a bit about how happy Gorstag (who’s gone out to help with the horses) is to see Shandril even if she can’t say, and how much he’ll want to meet Narm, and that he and Lureene are now engaged, at which Shandril hugs her while crying tears of joy. Meanwhile, we end up in Lureene’s head as she thinks about how much Shandril has grown up while she’s been gone and how she’s not a girl anymore but a lady, with a lord of her own, and I’m pretty sure that, technically, neither Shandril nor Narm are either of those things? I mean, maybe the Dales are more relaxed about that sort of thing, but you don’t just usually throw around noble titles quite that casually for people who don’t have them!
Errezha: Indeed. But Lureene finally asks Shandril, what’s happened to you? Though she quickly adds that Shandril doesn’t need to tell her if she doesn’t want to. Ah, but if only more people were so considerate! But Shandril says she will tell Lureene and Gorstag, that they deserve to know, and Lureene promises to get her a meal ready. I’ll wake Korvan. Shandril insists that they don’t need to do that, which makes Lureene suspicious and causes her to ask Did Korvan… bother you? And, if you’ll recall, he most certainly did, but Shandril insists it’s not that and just begs Lureene to trust her and not get him. Lureene, for her part, promises not to let Korvan near Shandril while she’s here, and my, is this a character I actually like, for once in this book? She then offers Shandril a seat by the fire, and the scene ends. We then cut outside, to where Narm is waiting with the horses and apparently has been for some time. Shandril, it seems, had told him that he should wait, and come after me only when you’ve stood so long that you grow cold – and if you wait that long, come carefully, ready for war. What a happy way to bring the new husband home to meet the family! And beg pardon, but surely anything powerful enough to incapacitate Shandril would effortlessly overcome Narm, no matter how much preparation he made? But Narm just stands there, wondering if he’s quite cold enough to come in yet, when suddenly the door opens and Gorstag, described as a burly, craggy-faced man with gray-white hair comes out and introduces himself. Narm says that he actually stayed at the inn for a night with his master, Marimmar almost two months back – ah, so we finally have a definite timeline – and Gorstag offers to help with the horses. As they head off for the stables, Gorstag asks if Narm is a mage, which he acknowledges, and then tells the story of how he and Shandril met (which we, of course, already know, though I’ll note that once again he calls the Shadowsil by the absurdly redundant title witch-mage) and also explains that even though Shandril wanted to stop here, and Elminster wanted them to, they’ll have to leave tomorrow. Gorstag wants to know what danger they’re in, and Narm – taking things more seriously now, I see – insists that Shandril should be the one to tell that, not him. Fair enough. Back inside, we find that Shandril herself has fallen asleep in her chair, as Narm comes over, she starts mumbling to herself, but then seems to go into a nightmare after he kisses her on the cheek. “She went for you,” Shandril cried faintly. “She went for you and there was no time! I had to burn her!” Narm, startled by this, shakes her and tells her they’re safe, and she wakes up; I can’t recall any “hers” that Shandril has burned with spellfire (she never used it on the Shadowsil, and most of her other enemies have been men – or, in the case of the dragons, males) so I assume this is just a nightmare, and not a memory. She then apologizes again to Gorstag for running away – maybe if he'd let her go places, she wouldn’t have felt the need to – and that they can’t stay, since enemies are after them. At this point, Gorstag finally asks for an explanation, and Shandril asks him if he’s ever heard of spellfire. Which, as it happens, he has. Your mother had it. I rode with her. Oh, lass… oh, Shandril! Beware the Cult! Narm butts in to say that if he means the Cult of the Dragon, they’ve run into them already, and I’m just left thinking that Gorstag seems to have known quite a bit more than he ever let on to Shandril – and my opinion of his parenting, already low, is sinking even further, since it seems much could’ve been avoided if he’d told her. Perhaps I’ll change my mind after he tells his side of the story – but somehow, I doubt it.
Caelum: Well, Gorstag clarifies that’s exactly the cult he’s talking about, and finally Shandril asks him something she probably should’ve asked a long time ago. Who were my parents? Gorstag can’t believe that Elminster didn’t tell her, and okay, I’m hardly Elminster’s biggest fan here and is kind of a jerk move to not say that he knew if he did, but… Gorstag is Shandril’s adopted father. He’s the one who raised her, he’s the one who apparently adventured with her birth parents, and it seems to me that he’s the one who should’ve had this conversation with her, probably a long time ago instead of foisting it off on Elminster. Especially if it’s important. But Gorstag starts his explanation. Your mother was my dearest companion-at-arms. We adventured together, long ago, Dammasae the incantatrix; if she’d a surname, I never knew it. Shandril then asks if that means Gorstag was her father after all, but he says no. Dammasae was his best friend, but they weren’t lovers. Your father was Garthond – Garthond Shessair – a powerful mage, by the time he died. Lureene breaks in to say that they should have some ale, if Gorstag’s going to tell his story properly, but Shandril’s got a more pressing concern. By the gods, why didn’t you tell me all of this before? Years I’ve wondered and worried and dreamed. Why didn’t you tell me? Yeah, well – I’m with her on this. Gorstag then gives a big, rambling explanation that basically boils down to that he knew there were lots of inquisitive people around the inn and if you knew the truth, they’d have tricked it out of you. So I said nothing and let the rumors of my fathering pass unchallenged and waited for you to be old enough to tell. Which, uh, apparently never happened, even though Shandril was sixteen which is pretty close to an adult for a human in most places I’ve been? And was “this is Shandril, my adopted daughter; her parents were adventuring buddies of mine and I took her in after they died” really so hard to say?
Errezha: Indeed; my opinions of Gorstag’s parenting continue to sink. Shandril’s, sadly, does not, as she tells Gorstag she’s had nothing but good from you, on which point I’d beg to differ, considering this is the man who made you spend your whole life in one building and also failed to notice that his cook was not only harassing you but is also, apparently, evil. In any case, he now begins his story. Garthond Shessair and his master, Jhavanter, fought the Cult of the Dragon in Sembia and the Dales, based out of a fortress in the Thunder Peaks called the Tower Tranquil. Eventually, Jhavanter was killed and Garthond inherited the tower, and kept fighting the Cult on his own. One day he rescued Dammasae, an adventuring mage the Cult had captured. Dammasae had adventured with me and others before and become known for a talent she had – a power that she wanted to develop by practice and experiment. She could absorb spells and hold their force as raw energy within her. She could use that force to heal and harm – as blasts of flame that seared flesh, stone, even spells… so it was called spellfire. After Garthond rescued Dammasae, they travelled and worked together and eventually fell in love. However, while Gorstag doesn’t know for sure what happens next, he and Elminster theorized that a cult mage, one Erimmator... cursed Garthond in an earlier battle-of-Art. The curse bound a strange creature called a ‘balhiir’ from another plane of existence… in symbiosis with Garthond. The happy couple settled in a place called Elturel and gave birth to Shandril there, and when she was eight months old set out to return to the Tower Tranquil accompanied by Gorstag. And the Cult was waiting for us… Garthond was thrown down and utterly destroyed… he took nine mages down to darkness with him, and three swordsmen. Both Gorstag and Dammasae were wounded in that battle, and they were forced to seek the healing skills of Sylune, the Witch of Shadowdale, but they didn’t make it in time, and Dammasae died. Your mother’s buried west of Shadowdale, on a little knoll to the side of the road. A spot holy to Mystra… I could not save her. We’re told that there’s old anguish raw in his voice. However, Gorstag was able to save little Shandril. He tried to return with her to the Tower Tranquil, but on the way he encountered some elves who had bad news for him – the Cult had taken over the tower and blasted its cellars, making a great cavern to be the lair of a dracolich… Rauglothgor the Proud… Excuse me, does this mean that the tower where Shandril was taken by the Shadowsil, where she met Rauglothgor and came into her own powers… was her parents’ old home? By complete coincidence, it seems? But Gorstag, unable to return to the tower and ready to retire from adventuring anyway, settled down in Highmoon and bought an old inn. I brought you up as a servant, Shan, because I dared not attract attention. Folk talk if an old retired warrior lives alone with a beautiful girl-child. I had to hide your lineage… for I knew the cult would come if they guessed. Excuse me!? As Caelum said – and I cannot believe I am agreeing with him – what’s wrong with “this is Shandril, my adopted daughter” as an explanation? If the Cult knows enough to connect Shandril with her parents just from an association with you, then raising her in your inn at all would attract their attention! And it’s not like you were subtle that she was your ward and you considered her your daughter, “brought up as a servant” or no. And, finally, this all seems utterly pointless. Everyone coming after Shandril is doing so because they want spellfire, not because of who her parents were! When the possibility of her being related to Garthond and Dammasae was raised to Naergoth a few chapters, he wasn’t all that interested! And that’s the only time any of the villains makes the connection at all. Nobody cares about Garthond and Dammasae’s child, so it seems completely unnecessary for Gorstag to even have to hide it at all!
Caelum: Well, Gorstag’s proud enough of himself for stopping the Cult from getting Shandril… even though they don’t seem to have even been looking for her until after she got spellfire herself. They wanted you, girl, you or your mother… and I let them have neither! ‘Twas the greatest feat I ever managed! Er, not really, no. I’d like some evidence that the Cult ever came after Shandril before she started exploding dracoliches, please? Apparently, he thought Marimmar might be a spy, though, and was also wary of Elminster, which, on the other hand, I think I can get behind. ‘Tis great wizards who fear and want spellfire the most. But he does finally admit some fault, since Shandril went to find yourself because I would not tell you who you were. You’ve come back, with all my enemies and more on your tail, and you wield spellfire… and I’m too old to defend you! Narm, however, insists that Gorstag did defend Shandril when she needed it – still not sure on that one, buddy – and now it’s other people who need protection from her (just what every father wants to hear…) She drove off Manshoon of Zhentil Keep and wounded him, perhaps unto death! But Shandril insists she needs Narm, now more than ever, so she doesn’t end up like the Simbul alone with her terrible power – and the old mage whose bed she just hopped into last chapter. Mustn’t forget that part. She’s so lonely it hurts to see her. She has only pride and great Art to carry her on! And her new lover, her whole country, and massive piles of the corpses of her enemies too, which, uh, counts for something? Well, speak of Asmodeus and he shall appear, since now we’ve got a scene change back to Elminster’s bedroom, where the Simbul has apparently been spying on Shandril with magic because she sits up in bed to suddenly declare How right you were! But no more! Elminster then wakes up and asks what she means, and it turns out that the Simbul can always here when her name is spoken (or her title too, apparently?) and the next few words. Which is kind of creepy, I’ve got to admit. But the Simbul thinks Shandril is unharmed, so she turns her attention back to Elminster. Shall we see to changing your sloth into something more… interesting? So, either Elminster has a pet sloth the Simbul wants to practice her transmuting on… or we’re about to get something I really don’t need to see! …and, it looks like the latter, as Elminster asks if the Simbul has no dignity, she responds that she has pride and great Art and Elminster declares I’ll show you great Art! And the two of them promptly fall out of bed together, and then thank the gods, we cut to downstairs where Lhaeo is putting on some tea and listening to laughter from up above, and the scene ends.
Errezha: Well, with that… unpleasantness… out of the way, we return to the Rising Moon where Gorstag suggests that Shandril and Narm get to bed, and Narm tells him that We’ve joined the Harpers, and we go to Silverymoon to the High Lady Alustriel, for refuge and training! Gorstag is amazed by how long such a journey would be – which makes me question again the wisdom of having it for a destination – and warns them to stick with caravans as far as they can for protection. Lureene then says Shandril can have her old room back for the night, and she and Gorstag will sleep at the base of the stairs as protection (however much protection they’ll be when asleep against mages). But as they all head up, someone else is watching from the kitchen. So, the wench had returned, had she? Certain ears would give much to hear speedily of this… Well, I think we all know who that delightful inner monologue belonged to. And apparently Shandril still hasn’t told Gorstag that his cook’s an evil cultist. She should probably get on that. We then cut to Gorstag, whose taken out an axe and cut open a block of wood to reveal something he’s kept inside, which he gives to Shandril after getting her assurance that her touch only drains magic when she wants it to. ’Tis an amulet that hampers detection and location of its wearer. Keep it, lass, and wear it when you sleep… I only wish I had one for each of you – but the necromancer whose neck I cut it from wore only one. What a charming anecdote about your present for your adopted daughter! But Narm, sleepy, only wishes the necromancer had a brother. Gorstag has he did, but someone had already killed him before Gorstag had the chance. The someone was eight years old. *beat* So, not a very competent necromancer, then? Bidding Shandril and Narm good night, Gorstag heads down to go to bed with Lureene, and the scene ends. We cut to the next morning, where Narm wakes up to find Lureene already in the room, mending some linens – by the prince, if someone startled me like that, I would not take kindly to it, friend or no! – and they agree to let Shandril sleep while Narm heads down for breakfast. And then, on the way down, he runs straight into Korvan. The cook and the wizard came to a sudden stop perhaps a foot apart, and stared at each other. Korvan had a cleaver in one hand and a joint of meat in the other. They stand there, staring at each other for a long while, and then finally Korvan backs down and ducks into the kitchen. Narm heads into the common room, thinking to himself that This Korvan wasn’t worth the effort. As nasty, mean-tempered, blustering man – all bluff, all bravado. Another Marimmar, in fact. I beg to differ. Marimmar, as much of a blowhard as he apparently was, was never shown harassing teenage girls too afraid to fight back or working as a spy for an evil cult. By the way, have you still not told Gorstag about that part? This is starting to seem like a significant oversight. From inside the kitchen, Narm suddenly hears a clattering sound as if something metal had been violently hurled against the wall and our chapter rather anticlimactically ends there.
MG: Before we go, I’d like to lay out my biggest problems with Shandril’s backstory. Aside from Caelum’s and Errezha’s observations – that, despite Gorstag’s paranoia, we have no evidence anyone actually came hunting for Shandril because she was Garthond and Dammasae’s daughter (indeed, while he mentions wizards who came “sniffing around” the only examples he gives are Marimmar, who knew nothing about Shandril and was there for unrelated reasons, and Elminster, who didn’t care about Shandril until she developed spellfire powers of her own, which is a record of zero correct guesses) – we have the further point that in the long run none of this matters. The secret of Shandril’s origin is teased throughout the book, and becomes the big reveal here, in the penultimate chapter – and then it almost never comes up again in the entire trilogy. Nobody else cares about any of this, and if Shandril had been Gorstag’s biological daughter who ran away looking for adventure and acquired spellfire just from being exposed to the balhiir rather than through heredity, it wouldn’t significantly change the story at all. Which, considering how elaborate the whole backstory is, is just a baffling decision. It’s a bit like if, after Obi-Wan explains to Luke in ANH that his father was a Jedi, Obi-Wan’s old friend, and was “betrayed and murdered” by Darth Vader, Anakin just… never came up again. Also, this has just convinced me that my original verdict on Gorstag’s parenting stands. He seems to want to do the right thing by Shandril, but he’s also really, really, really bad at it. Everything he did was supposed to be to protect Shandril from her enemies, but in context his paranoia seems to have been completely unfounded and just seems to have caused more problems for her than he fixed. In any case, with that chapter down, we have only one more to go! In which Greenwood desperately tries to quickly tie off as many plot-threads as he can, with predictably chaotic results, a random plot-twist that’s barely been foreshadowed is introduced, and the book’s final boss comes out of freaking nowhere. We’ll see you then! No pics today.
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Date: 2022-08-12 10:09 pm (UTC)The guy from last chapter's spitefic: If only that was true for all of us, but sadly, it is not.
MG: Spoilers but, as I’ve noted previously, there’s exactly one villain in the whole trilogy who seems to have an actual plan for dealing with Shandril’s spellfire, and it still doesn’t work out for him.
HamsterZerg: *looks over to the guy from last chapter's spitefic*
The guy from last chapter's spitefic: Don't ask me to go after her! She's a rare endangered decent human being!
MG: I’ll also note that Thiszult gets dealt with extremely anticlimactically next chapter
HamsterZerg: If you'll excuse me, I need to become a woodpecker. *leaves*
as Greenwood rushes to tie up all the loose ends he’s introduced, so I’m not sure what the point of introducing him here at all was (when the time could have been used better to set up the book’s actual end boss).
HamsterZerg: *returns* Except with dirt. *leaves*
Excuse me, does this mean that the tower where Shandril was taken by the Shadowsil, where she met Rauglothgor and came into her own powers… was her parents’ old home? By complete coincidence, it seems?
HamsterZerg:If you think that's contrived, wait until you see what Len and Yhani are dealing with...
(indeed, while he mentions wizards who came “sniffing around” the only examples he gives are Marimmar, who knew nothing about Shandril and was there for unrelated reasons, and Elminster, who didn’t care about Shandril until she developed spellfire powers of her own, which is a record of zero correct guesses)
HamsterZerg: I was wondering when I would get to use this gif again.
In any case, with that chapter down, we have only one more to go!
In which Greenwood desperately tries to quickly tie off as many plot-threads as he can,
with predictably chaotic results,
a random plot-twist that’s barely been foreshadowed is introduced,
and the book’s final boss comes out of freaking nowhere.
The guy from last chapter's spitefic: You really went ham on those images toward the end there, didn't you?
HamsterZerg: Well, in that case, it would be a shame if someone put an s in front of it and an e behind it.
The guy from last chapter's spitefic: *buries his face in his hands and groans loudly*
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Date: 2022-08-14 01:22 am (UTC)Errezha: *drily* I've an inkling.
HamsterZerg: I was wondering when I would get to use this gif again.
MG:It's absolutely on-point, as is the giant space flea from nowhere (technically, the final boss is a character who's been mentioned a couple of times but with no indication he's actually involved in the story at all, so he's not quite from nowhere but pretty damned close). What's the video game cover a reference to, though? I don't get that one, I'm afraid.
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Date: 2022-08-14 03:18 am (UTC)In one Bionic Commando game, it's revealed that the body of the main character's dead wife is inside that huge mechanical arm.
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Date: 2022-08-13 04:15 pm (UTC)First of three, Eldore.
"...Fuck."
"Well that was a particularly poorly-written piece of trash."
At least it wasn't a paean to marriage written by a paedophile.
"True. And that is one of the many reasons I will not be returning for the sequels."
"Reckless mages destroy things around them. Any remotely well-trained powerful mage should be able to destroy a foe without disturbing a hair on a bystander's head."
Unfortunately Greenwood does not understand the concept of control being just as important as sheer power, despite what he tried to have Jhessail tell Narm otherwise.
"That is because the man is a top class idiot."
I've seen some of the things he has and hoo boy, if the choice for Faerun was no magic or Elminster, I'd give up all my magic users in a heartbeat. I'm still pissed he was basically immune to all the Spellplague nonsense.
"A poorly expressed sentiment, but an entirely worthy one. There is no shame in not wanting to become a frequent killer, even in self-defence."
Wait, another halfway sensible antagonist? In the second to last chapter? What the fuck, Greenwood!
"My brain hurts..."
"WHY?! He kept you literally confined to the interior of his inn for your entire life, and worked you like a servant! Let him burn!"
Yeaaaaah, no, I'm pretty sure calling yourself a lord or lady when you're not entitled to will get your arse kicked as hard and fast in the Dales as it would anywhere else.
"She seems to be very nice. By the standards of a Greenwood work, anyway, which means that she is not a self-centred arsehole."
At least she's taking Shandril seriously when she asks to not be around Korvan at all!
"Any potential that Gorstag had to redeem himself has just been, how does Callia like to put it... Ah, yes. 'Pissed down the drain like last night's beer'. Revolting."
I think I need to check who she's hanging out with, wow.
You useless fucking shitbag! No wonder she acts like such an airhead, if this is how you've always treated her! Kids notice that stuff, even if they don't register it!
"I am seriously beginning to wonder if the ultimate villain of this ridiculous book is Gorstag himself! He is certainly singlehandedly responsible for mistreating his adoptive daughter, lying to her constantly, exposing her to abuse from his employees, concealing information that her life might well balance on one day... Yes, I do indeed believe that he is the cause of this entire mess."
"No, a great feat would be raising her to be an intelligent, happy and learned young woman who knew that you considered yourself her father. Instead you gave her confinement, servitude, misery and lies. Be silent before I curse you myself!"
Bull-fucking-shit. You stop it with that author-centred morality there, Greenwood, he treated her like shit and gave her nothing. You can't use that 'raised her' nonsense when he literally used her as an indentured servant! You know, the fancy name for A FUCKING SLAVE!
"Entirely in keeping with the rest of this execrable tome, then."
Hey now! Tomes don't deserve to be compared to this waste of paper!
no subject
Date: 2022-08-14 01:31 am (UTC)Fair warning, this same bard gets to give us next chapter's opening quote too, for some reason. And it's just as banal as this one.
At least she's taking Shandril seriously when she asks to not be around Korvan at all!
Indeed! Too bad Shandril failed to take the opportunity to warn Lureene about Korvan being a Cult spy, because if she had, some misery next chapter could've been averted.
"I am seriously beginning to wonder if the ultimate villain of this ridiculous book is Gorstag himself! He is certainly singlehandedly responsible for mistreating his adoptive daughter, lying to her constantly, exposing her to abuse from his employees, concealing information that her life might well balance on one day... Yes, I do indeed believe that he is the cause of this entire mess."
I'm slightly more positively disposed towards Gorstag... but only slightly. From the text itself, I think it's pretty clear he genuinely thought his actions were necessary to protect Shandril. The problem being that a., his actions were stupid and led to abysmal parenting that actually put Shandril in danger when she ran away, and b., because Greenwood failed to convey that anyone was ever actually after her because of her parents at any point, Gorstag comes off as a paranoid fool rather than someone with genuine concerns. I'll talk about this a bit more in my final thoughts, but I think the ultimate problem lies with Greenwood and his mixing together a bunch of "fantasy hero origin" tropes for Shandril without stopping to think why they work or if they fit together. Basically, so far as father-figures go Gorstag can be Bilbo Baggins circa LotR or he can be Vernon Dursley, but Greenwood tries to make him both at once and, predictably, it doesn't work.
I will say that Gorstag does get a moment to go all papa wolf on Korvan next chapter... but he ends up doing it at the wrong time, in the wrong context, when it's too late to actually do Shandril any good because she's already gone. Which seems emblematic of the slipshod approach to the character mentioned above.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-15 01:55 am (UTC)If this had been a better-written book, then wouldn't it be interesting if that was indeed the same balhiir bonded to Shandril's actual dad, and she gained spellfire from it, because the thing absorbed some from her mother while she was still alive and with her husband?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-15 03:17 am (UTC)